myopiclunacy.com

From: Maureen W.
Date: Thu, Feb 18, 2010 at 1:39 AM
Subject: I hate you bald fat fuck
To: dick.ebersol@nbcuni.com
Cc: ajd@deadspin.com

Dear dickface,

I lost my job several months ago. My mother just died. I had a fucking tumor removed from my fucking lady business recently. and do you know what’s worse than all that? YOUR TOTAL FUCKING DISREGARD FOR SPORT. My husband & I both love the Olympics, and you have absolutely mother fucking ruined them for us (both of us being smack dab in the center of your target demographic, by the way. Just a couple of white people with money to burn, looking to enjoy the world’s greatest sports competition and find out what we should purchase next with all of our disposable income). We live two goddamned hours from Vancouver, imagine our surprise when we discovered that people in fucking brooklyn would be watching events live, while we poor idiots on the ENTIRE WEST COAST could all just suck what I assume is your non-functional cock until you felt like showing them to us. Guess what Dick? ITS NOT 1963!! FUCK YOU and the shit “job” that you do there. NBC fucked me on Conan, and now you are fucking me on the Olympics. I’m all fucked out Dick – I’m done with you and your whole shitty crew. Enjoy the total irrelevance your stupidty and incompetence has guaranteed you and your “industry.”

If you have anything to say in your defense, please feel more than free to email a reply. Just ask your assistant how to turn on your computer. You do have a computer right? You totally should, its a really good place to get live coverage of the Olympics.

Fuck you,
Maureen Whitney

p.s. we remember the turd you laid called the XFL, Dick. Everyone remembers.

Ahhh the Olympics brings out the best in all of us!

myotherrideisyourmom:

Ok, it’s bad enough that NBC’s Olympic coverage makes me want to gouge out my fucking eyeballs. However, the bigger issue is here that no one warned me that I would also have to listen to Cris ass face fucking Collinsworth in addition to dealing with NBC’s bullshit. It’s like some bizarre form of torture. This ass pirate has already completely ruined Sunday night football and let’s not forget that every time I want to play Madden I have to mute the damn TV. Now I have to listen to him shoot the shit with Bob Costas and offer his two cents on the Olympic events. YOU WERE A FUCKING FOOTBALL PLAYER! What the hell do you know about luge, bobsledding or alpine skiing? It’s like the perfect shit storm. You can’t watch the Olympics live and then you get audibly raped by that douche bag!

Hilarious!

It’s Day 4 and I’m ready to call it. This Olympics sucks.

NBC boasted about their 800 hours of television coverage for Vancouver 2010, which sure sounds like a lot until you realize what they are actually broadcasting. Take today’s schedule for instance. Five of their six Olympics networks were dark this afternoon. The one actually showing sports didn’t start until 1 p.m. and then dazzled us with … cross-country skiing. Not the cool kind with guns, but the lame kind that isn’t even a race because the start times are staggered and one woman finishes then has to wait and see if someone can beat her, which they usually don’t. Also snowboard cross qualifying—which again is basically the most exiting, thrill-packed racing event minus the actual racing.

Oh well, I thought. It’s probably the best they can do for a Monday morning in Vancouver. That must have been all that was happening out there on this particular day. Until I turned over to MSNBC and saw … downhill medals! Bode Miller got a bronze! Was there any mention of that during the mind-numbing conversation between Brian Williams and Zombie Al Michaels on NBC TV? You bet your ass there wasn’t.

So NBC’s web properties are perfectly willing to live in the 21st Century, but the TV is still going to pretend that tape delay is just as exciting as live. (And it is, as long as you don’t go online to find out what’s on NBC tonight.) It’s an old complaint, but one that I’m still amazed we have to make. Why not let the people who want to watch events live, watch them live and let people who have day jobs choose whether they want spoilers or not? Are we animals?

Plus! The snow still sucks (it was colder in Dallas yesterday than it was in B.C.), skaters are getting death threats, billionaire internet scam artists are actually making judges look shady, and finely tuned elite athletes are being rewarded for their heroics with celebratory couches? Brainstorm! How about Olympic medals made out of double cheeseburgers! Your ribs are showing through those jump suits, beanpole!

Oh, and a guy died. This whole thing is pretty depressing, if you ask me.

Kumartishvili’s death? his fault. The weather? God’s fault. Not wanting to watch events live? Our fault. NBC and the Olympic committee are just doing what they do – i.e. spinning every story so we unconsciously lower our expectations of what the games should be about – namely collateral damage and restricted video highlights.