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March 21, 2010

Jim Gray is a serious fucktard saying the the coverage of Tiger at the Masters will be all about golf because there’s nothing else to talk about.

Filed under: ABC, ESPN, Golf — Tags: , , , , , , , — webadmin @ 1:43 pm


 

Jim Gray is a serious fucktard saying the the coverage of Tiger at the Masters will be all about golf because there’s nothing else to talk about. Hey dumbass – it’s the Masters. They ran commercial free for 2 years out of spite because of the Martha Burke protests! CBS won’t downplay the affairs because there’s nothing to talk about. CBS will downplay it because it will do what the Masters tells them to do. Period. And Gray as a former employee of ESPN who covers part of the Masters is being seriously disingenuous. It doesn’t take a lot of stones to corner Pete Rose on national TV about betting because Pete Rose doesn’t control your paycheck. You lowlife hack. If you want to be a real reporter, how about tackling abuses of power, not just low hanging fruit!

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January 12, 2010

Goodbye Setanta. Hello Fox Soccer Plus (via @epltalk)

Filed under: ESPN, Fox, Premiership, Soccer, TV, UEFA Champions League — Tags: , , , — webadmin @ 6:51 pm


 

Fox Soccer Plus will begin showing Premier League games on the weekend of March 6, as well as FA Cup quarter-finals and Serie A. The Premier League has yet to finalize the TV schedule, so it’s not known at press time which matches will be televised. Also, Fox Soccer Plus will be broadcast in HD.

Fox Soccer Plus will be offered to video providers across the country and be available to viewers as a premium service. No price has been specified but I wouldn’t be surprised if the monthly fee would be $15.

I still want to see how games are partitioned (I would hope that FSP isn’t just like Setanta) but it seems like I will upgrade to HD around March 1!

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October 14, 2009

Monday Night Memos to Rex Ryan and Jaws



 

Memo to New York Jets Head Coach Rex Ryan:

Calling the Wildcat (as Miami runs it) a “gimmick,” throwing your defense under the bus, saying they made Chad Henne look like Dan Marino, and saying you were embarrassed to lose must be part of your media strategy to keep those starstruck yet fickle New York sports reporters on your side while you figure out where the holes are on the S/S Gang-Green. It’s one thing for idiot beat writers to expect a Xerox copy of your 2008 Ravens with Haloti Ngata and Ray Lewis and T Sizzles and Ed Reed stopping the 2008 Dolphins Wildcat with Chad Pennington at QB and Samson Satele at Center.

But surely a defensive genius like you would have made special note of the upgrades in the 2009 Dolphins’ interior line, the arm strength of Chad “Marino” Henne and the experience of Dan Henning. Surely you know that the Miami Wildcat is no gimmick, but just a power running formation with a beast of an offensive line and 3 great running backs along with varying degrees of misdirection – no different than the Redskins counter-tray.

Surely you’re not buying into your own hype and not preparing your team for an in-division dogfight. I mean, I would understand the machismo were this the first game of the season – but surely you saw what the Dolphins did to the Colts and Bills defense from a running standpoint and were ready for THAT Wildcat and not the Mildcat from last January.

See the thing is – bigchestedness and assholery in not giving the other guy credit may be all Soprano-like while you’re winning. But when you’re 6-10 and people are expecting 10-6 it’ll just give them a wider platform to hate your guts. When Miami holds your Golden Child QB to 50% completion and 172 yards while their QB goes 20-26 for 240 yards, 2 TDs and a 130.4 passer rating, you need to accept that you got beaten by the better team that night, despite the referees assisting your cause.

Oh, and you need to recognize that Miami’s Wildcat is not a gimmick. Your 2 fake punts are gimmicks. And you can tell your loudmouth LB Calvin Pace that too. Maybe next time you guys will look at the YEAR AND 2 WEEKS WORTH OF FRIGGIN TAPE ON THE WILDCAT OFFENSE AND PAY ATTENTION TO PERSONNEL CHANGES before you call the Wildcat a gimmick. New England could have done that last year. You cannot now. Maybe you’re still mad that your dad rolled his 11-0 Bears into Miami in 1985 and got taught a lesson on “crushing the 46″ by Dan Marino himself. Maybe not. Either way, I’ll be eating popcorn watching your short career in New York.


Memo to Monday Night Football “Analyst” Ron Jaworski:

I understand that MNF will never be what it was – the cultural touchstone that told us that John Lennon died and the must-see vehicle that was America’s only source of video highlights for the week’s NFL action. The spectacular boneheadedness of thinking that Dennis “Carrot Top” Miller and Tony “Kornholer” Kornheiser could replace the failures of Dan Dierdorf and Boomer Esiason are evidence of that. So I was glad that ESPN chose to go to a booth of you and Jon Gruden alongside Mike Tirico this season. I could finally unmute my TV when I chose to tune in.

But after listening to your commentary on the Miami offense, I am very disappointed. In 2 Dolphin broadcasts now you’ve completely discounted the personnel moves Miami has made (namely getting rid of Samson Satele and getting Justin Smiley and Donald Thomas back and getting Jake Grove from Oakland) wrt the effectiveness of their running game. As an X&O guy I would expect you to see past your “dynamic passing game” biases and give the Dolphins some credit. Not only did you not do that, you seemed intent on ignoring all the Jets’ deficiencies and even assisting the poor refereeing – namely agreeing with the phantom 43-yard PI call on Will Allen that got Braylon Edwards off the hook for dropping a sure touchdown, and insisting that Edwards’ second leg was down on his first touchdown. It wasn’t. Not a blade of grass was disturbed. I could tell and Jon Gruden could tell. But to you it was as invisible as the poor to Ronald Reagan. What I saw was not an objective analyst – it was a dude bent on looking for every opportunity to discredit an offense that didn’t fit his world view.

Now I expect that from those blackberry warriors like Mort and Schefter who take opinion polls from their “league sources, or from Stuya Booya and that idiot Chris Berman who read off their marketing-approved northeast-biased scripts. I also expect to hear as much from those ex-player “pundits” like Steve Young and Matt Millen who don’t look at too much film themselves but rather consume the analysis of others (I include Marshall Faulk from NFL Network here). I mean, for the Worldwide Leader, who better to hire to analyze the league than the brains behind Detroit’s 0-16 season!

But Jaws, you were different. On Edge NFL Matchup and on Monday Night Countdown you were always the port in the storm of the maniacal ESPN monarchy that increasingly told us what to believe (on every platform imaginable) instead of why we should believe it (see Jason Whitlock). You were the guy who I would pay attention to. Until this season, that is. It’s only CBS, Fox and NBC I’ll listen to from now on, as well as the radio.

With NBC, despite their abysmal pregame show (awful highlight packages, Peter King’s Namedrop Theatre, and the no-value-add analysis of Tiki “my team won a ring once I left them” Barber and Jerome “I’m from Detroit” Bettis), at least I know I can count on Al Michaels to be unbiased and Collinsworth to only annoy the shit out of me once in a while. But if the Dolphins ever head back to MNF, it’ll be back on mute for me.

The Four-letter network has done it again. As it is I only consume the Jim Rome show and the few dwindling soccer offerings and maybe a bit of ATH, and I already swore off Sportscenter (the regular version and the TRL version). But after this week ain’t no way I’m watching MNF off mute again.

Maybe Rod Martin will be around to intercept your biased takes next time.


now i’m done

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May 29, 2009

Proof that ESPN Hates the Beautiful Game



 

John Anderson, the typical Sportscenter knob who stumbles through Champions League highlights and names and terms, finally admits – ON ABC’S YOUTUBE CHANNEL – that he hates footy. Are you kidding me? And you want ME to support watching any soccer on ESPN?!? Or any Disney properties?

Fuck That! Come on FSC and Fox!



YouTube – Hating the Beautiful Game

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April 17, 2009

We’ll Only Sorta Miss You, Tommy Smyth.



 

Since FSC won the Champions League rights away from ESPN recently, everyone’s been speculating on the futures of Derek Rae and Tommy Smyth as commentators. I really hope to still hear Derek Rae around as he’s been the voice of the Champions League for me, even if he’s been shackled by ESPN’s constraints.

Tommy Smyth, on the other hand? He does grate on you after a while. Seemingly the quintessential ESPN buffoon in the vein of Dick Vitale or Lou Holtz. This piece in the Guardian explores Smyth’s haters, his catchphrase and why he is possibly the most hated football commentator in history. But the takeaway for me was this admittedly guffaw-inducing line from the 2002 World Cup in Korea/Japan about the naturalized black Polish player Emmanuel Olisadebe – a.k.a. the sore thumb!

“Like my mother said to me: ‘If your cat had kittens inside an oven, would you call them scones?’”

BRILLIANT!

Even if it described half the US team in the 90’s.

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April 5, 2009

Why I’m glad that FSC won the UEFA Champions League rights away from ESPN



 

Details of FOX Sports/ Setanta UEFA Champions League Packages | Major League Soccer Talk

# Fox Sports Net will air 16 Tuesday matches from the qualifying rounds in August until the semifinal. Areas without an FSN owned station will probably see the matches on an FSN affiliate like CSN or Sun Sports, for example.
# Fox Soccer Channel will show two live games per week and three games on tape delay during the group stages.
# Setanta will have two live games each week during the group stages.
# FOX is looking into the possibility of using on site commentators from the international feed.
# FSC will have live pre and post game shows as well as a daily 30 minute wrap up show.
# The final for each of the three seasons of this package will be shown on Fx in HD. Fx is in as many homes nationally than ESPN 2
# Setanta will be re-launching its broadband product next month with enhanced video quality.

Despite the fact that ESPN2 is in more households, is on the analog/lower tier of most cable offerings, and is in more hotels, The detail overlooked here is that as an overall broadcasting strategy we need to look at this more as ESPN, ESPN Classic, and ESPN Deportes vs FX, FSN, Fox Soccer Channel and Fox Sports en Espanol. FSN will be used much like ESPN2 is used now – to show the first choice live game and is available is just as many homes as ESPN2, though not as many hotels. And FSC’s distribution is comparable to ESPN Classic, and better than ESPN Deportes – which has to be purchased with a Spanish Pack on most systems. Plus FX (where the CL Final will be shown) and some of the regional FSNs have HD channels – and FSC is supposed to be accelerating their HD timetable to the end of this year, not next.

I think this is a net positive for soccer fans. It’s yet to be determined whether or not it helps the popularity of the sport. But I do know that all those people who bought ESPN Deportes for Champions League coverage will soon be cancelling. After all the talk about ESPN raising their profile in the sport and even chasing the European market, they ended up lowbidding on the UK Prem rights and apparently on the US and Latin American CL rights. I expect similar with the US Prem rights. Which means they’d be out of the soccer business in the US with the exception of the World Cup and USMNT. ESPN Deportes suddenly becomes worthless for footy-crazy english-speaking viewers.

If Fox Sports as a collective does this right, they could do something for the sport which ESPN couldn’t because of all their other commitments. Given the fact that there are not a lot of competing live programming at 19:45 GMT on weekdays across the FSN network, there’ll be no danger of losing games because of the World Baseball Classic or the Masters or some other sport this demographic cares about. FSN has a lot of pre-produced content that can be moved around easily. The same goes for FX – so no worries about other programming running over and interfering with the start – esp for that Saturday CL final. Can you imagine if there’s a college baseball game that pinches the start of the CL final!?!?

Also, I doubt the Fox brains will homogenize and ruin production (or that UEFA will let them) with overly NFL/MLB-ized graphics and features and crap – something ESPN seemed ready and willing to do (remember the Beckham cam?). If indeed they take the CL International feeds instead of having Max Bretos call the games then we would only have to suffer through a pregame show – which I doubt will be that bad. The other good thing is that Derek Rae would be a spectacular get for FSC to call games wherever games need to be called. No more distracting ticker with Brett Favre and Alex Rodriguez nonsense. No more ruining the upcoming taped game with ill-timed highlights. And no more chopping off time from tape-delayed airings.

On top of it, who’s to say that grabbing these rights wouldn’t mean that FSC/Fox Sports Intl. couldn’t be an exporter of content to other countries (Caribbean, Australia, South Africa) in the future? Who says that Presspass-type show couldn’t be “acquired” and produced by Fox and run given exposure in one of those various timeslots on the FSN networks – like before Best Damned and after The [insert college football coach name here] Show? I’m sure Bobby McMahon and Fox Football Fone-in segments could be packaged together into something creative.

Of course Rae could also go to GolTV and improve their rag tag bunch. And he could still work for ESPN for the World Cup. What else is he going to do in Bristol? I bet he won’t even broadcast the CL Final on-site like he did last year. OK – I understand he has other work for ESPN Intl, but still.

But the thing I’m most salivating over is possibly being able to, in the group stages and round of 16, going 4-wide with the TVs in the man-cave with different simultaneous LIVE matches on FSE (w/SAP), FSC, FSN and Setanta!! IN ENGLISH!!!

THAT would not suck.

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January 14, 2009

The Roundup from 2009-01-14



 
  • ESPN Insider Confirms UK Premier League TV Bid http://tr.im/6uxz “Out goes HO-LY SHIT! [FSC]. In comes ESPN for U.S. TV rights” #

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September 9, 2008

College Football Handjob?

Filed under: ESPN, NCAA Football — Tags: , , , , , — webadmin @ 1:10 pm


 

This is fucking classic – especially the breakdown by the ESPN announcer!!

Caught On Tape: Co-eds Giving Hand Jobs In Public? What Is This World Coming To?

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February 20, 2008

DirecTV – The Fine Print



 

dtvAs Champions League knockout season rolls around, I’m considering purchasing DirecTV (or Dish) so that I can get ESPN Deportes and Setanta as well as have access to NFL Sunday Ticket or March Madness (if I decide to). What I like about DirecTV over Dish is that they have a separate sports tier that I can get without having to order the most expensive plan just so I can get Fox Soccer Channel.

Reason being is that Comcast sucks and their digital cable channels keep going out at the most inopportune times (like right before games). It’s amazing how many times I have to call their customer service and hear the recorded message “We are aware of an outage in your area” – what kind of service is that? And their sports tier forces me to get a bunch of channels I don’t want. I don’t usually like bundling, but I don’t mind it if it makes sense.

DirecTV has a compelling offer going on: $39.99 for all the channels I’ll need, $12 for the Sports pack and $15 for Setanta (still not sure about ESPN Deportes yet, but I may not need it with Setanta), free standard installation, one free receiver, and a $50 Visa Gift Card to boot. Unfortunately – like any good deal – there’s always the fine print:

Full Offer Details
†Eligibility based on service address.

††After instant online rebate. Programming, DVR and/or HD Access fee committment required.

**To access DIRECTV HD programming, HD Access fee ($9.99/mo.), a 5-LNB Multi-Satellite Dish, HD receiver, and HD television equipment are required.

$50 VISA GIFT CARD OFFER: Offer available to new residential customers who sign up for and maintain Auto Bill Pay (with a valid credit card) for at least sixty (60) days. Within 30 days of fulfilling Auto Bill Pay requirement DIRECTV will ship one (1) $50 Visa® Gift Card to the name and address used to activate DIRECTV account. Qualifying customers should receive the gift card in approximately six to eight weeks after completion of commitment. One gift card per customer for the life of the program. DIRECTV is not responsible for late, lost, illegible, mutilated, incomplete, misdirected or postage due mail. Offer expires 2/26/08.

BILL CREDIT/PROGRAMMING OFFER: Upon DIRECTV System activation, customer must complete and sign redemption form (included in customer’s first DIRECTV bill, a separate mailing or, in the state of New York, from retailer) and comply with the terms of the form. Account must be in “good standing,” as determined by DIRECTV in its sole discretion, to remain eligible. DIRECTV not responsible for late, lost, illegible, mutilated, incomplete, misdirected or postage–due mail. Limit one bill credit offer per account. IF, AFTER 12 CONSECUTIVE MONTHS (3 MONTHS FOR HBO, STARZ, SHOWTIME and CINEMAX), CUSTOMER DOES NOT CONTACT DIRECTV TO CHANGE SERVICE, THEN ALL SERVICES TO WHICH CUSTOMER IS SUBSCRIBING WILL AUTOMATICALLY CONTINUE ON THE 13TH MONTH (4TH MONTH FOR HBO, STARZ, SHOWTIME and CINEMAX) AT THE THEN–PREVAILING RATES, INCLUDING THE $4.99/MO. LEASE FEE FOR THE 2ND AND EACH ADDITIONAL RECEIVER. In certain markets, programming/pricing may vary. Package pricing at directv.com/packages. DIRECTV System has a feature which restricts access to channels.

INSTANT ONLINE REBATE DETAILS: Valid only for new customers between 1/1/08 and 6/30/08. For customers who purchase 24 consecutive months (without interruption) of any DIRECTV base programming package ($29.99/mo. or above) or qualifying international services bundle within 30 days of equipment lease. Offer valid for leased equipment only. DVR service commitment ($5.99/mo.) for DVR and HD DVR lease; HD Access fee ($9.99/mo.) required for HD and HD DVR lease. LIMIT ONE ADVANCED EQUIOMENT REBATE PER DIRECTV ACCOUNT. In certain markets, programming and pricing may vary. May not be substituted for cash or credit, and cannot be transferred or exchanged. May not be combined with any other offer. Refurbished/reconditioned equipment purchases and/or exchanges through DIRECTV do not qualify. Not valid for purchases by groups, clubs or organizations. Offer void where prohibited, taxed or restricted.

INSTALLATION: Standard professional installation only. Custom installation extra.

SYSTEM LEASE: Purchase of 18 consecutive months (24 months for advanced receivers) of any DIRECTV base programming package ($29.99/mo. or above) or qualifying international services bundle required. FAILURE TO ACTIVATE ALL DIRECTV SYSTEM EQUIPMENT IN ACCORDANCE WITH THE EQUIPMENT LEASE ADDENDUM MAY RESULT IN A CHARGE OF $150 PER RECEIVER NOT ACTIVATED. IF YOU FAIL TO MAINTAIN YOUR PROGRAMMING COMMITMENT, DIRECTV MAY CHARGE A PRORATED FEE OF UP TO $480. RECEIVERS ARE AT ALL TIMES PROPERTY OF DIRECTV AND MUST BE RETURNED UPON CANCELLATION OF SERVICE OR ADDITIONAL FEES MAY APPLY. VISIT directv.com OR CALL 1–800–DIRECTV FOR DETAILS. Programming, pricing, terms and conditions subject to change at any time. Pricing residential. Taxes not included. Receipt of DIRECTV programming subject to DIRECTV Customer Agreement; copy provided at directv.com/legal and in first bill. DIRECTV, Inc. DIRECTV and the Cyclone Design logo are registered trademarks of DIRECTV, Inc. All other trademarks and service marks are the property of their respective owners.

WTF?!? Looks like I’ll be buying my receiver and doing the details myself! Unless there’s a better solution.

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November 17, 2007

Sick Of The 72 Dolphins Hate



 

I posted most of this over at WithLeather’s 72 Dolphins Hate-a-thon. Mercury Morris turned up the volume (and rightfully so, I believe) about the whole “Are you scared the Patriots wil beat your record” crap:

And of course the common refrain when bashing the 72 Dolphins is: they didn’t play anyone. They played all teams with losing records. Like this is college football. Everyone seems to forget that the 72 Fins:

* Had 2 1000 yard rushers with Csonka and Morris

* Lost their Hall Of Fame starting QB for more than half the season and into the playoffs.

* Played the AFC title game ON THE ROAD

* Were the hump year of 3 consecutive Super Bowl trips

* Won the Super Bowl again the next year

Everyone wants to talk about winning percentage whenever they talk about the 72 Dolphins but every other great team before Rozelle’s and free agency’s parity had a chance to go undefeated – going back to the days when they played both ways and no one did it. Why do you have to hate this team for taking pride in it?

Is it because Chris Berman and all these shitty reporters perpetuate the myth of champagne celebrations that probably happened one time back in 85? Or is it because they are an easy target to make the enemies of the anti-asterisk Patriot fans. Come on – like someone said – they don’t seek out the cameras everytime a team goes 7-0. The cameras seek them out.

I’m sick of the anti-72 Dolphins vibe out there and I applaud Mercury for saying a big FU to all those people looking to hate others’ accomplishments.

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