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March 5, 2010

The Quants: How a New Breed of Math Whizzes Conquered Wall Street and Nearly Destroyed It – by Scott Patterson



 
“Beware of geeks bearing formulas.”
–Warren Buffett
 
In March of 2006, the world’s richest men sipped champagne in an opulent New York hotel.  They were preparing to compete in a poker tournament with million-dollar stakes, but those numbers meant nothing to them.  They were accustomed to risking billions.  
 
At the card table that night was Peter Muller, an eccentric, whip-smart whiz kid who’d studied theoretical mathematics at Princeton and now managed a fabulously successful hedge fund called PDT…when he wasn’t playing his keyboard for morning commuters on the New York subway.  With him was Ken Griffin, who as an undergraduate trading convertible bonds out of his Harvard dorm room had outsmarted the Wall Street pros and made money in one of the worst bear markets of all time.  Now he was the tough-as-nails head of Citadel Investment Group, one of the most powerful money machines on earth. There too were Cliff Asness, the sharp-tongued, mercurial founder of the hedge fund AQR, a man as famous for his computer-smashing rages as for his brilliance, and Boaz Weinstein, chess life-master and king of the credit default swap, who while juggling $30 billion worth of positions for Deutsche Bank found time for frequent visits to Las Vegas with the famed MIT card-counting team.  
 
On that night in 2006, these four men and their cohorts were the new kings of Wall Street.  Muller, Griffin, Asness, and Weinstein were among the best and brightest of a  new breed, the quants.  Over the prior twenty years, this species of math whiz –technocrats who make billions not with gut calls or fundamental analysis but with formulas and high-speed computers– had usurped the testosterone-fueled, kill-or-be-killed risk-takers who’d long been the alpha males the world’s largest casino.  The quants believed that a dizzying, indecipherable-to-mere-mortals cocktail of differential calculus, quantum physics, and advanced geometry held the key to reaping riches from the financial markets.  And they helped create a digitized money-trading machine that could shift billions around the globe with the click of a mouse.  
 
Few realized that night, though, that in creating this unprecedented machine, men like Muller, Griffin, Asness and Weinstein had sowed the seeds for history’s greatest financial disaster.  
 
Drawing on unprecedented access to these four number-crunching titans, The Quants tells the inside story of what they thought and felt in the days and weeks when they helplessly watched much of their net worth vaporize – and wondered just how their mind-bending formulas and genius-level IQ’s had led them so wrong, so fast.  Had their years of success been dumb luck, fool’s gold, a good run that could come to an end on any given day?  What if The Truth they sought — the secret of the markets — wasn’t knowable? Worse, what if there wasn’t any Truth?
 
In The Quants, Scott Patterson tells the story not just of these men, but of Jim Simons, the reclusive founder of the most successful hedge fund in history; Aaron Brown, the quant who used his math skills to humiliate Wall Street’s old guard at their trademark game of Liar’s Poker, and years later found himself with a front-row seat to the rapid emergence of mortgage-backed securities; and gadflies and dissenters such as Paul Wilmott, Nassim Taleb, and Benoit Mandelbrot.  
 
With the immediacy of today’s NASDAQ close and the timeless power of a Greek tragedy, The Quants is at once a masterpiece of explanatory journalism, a gripping tale of ambition and hubris…and an ominous warning about Wall Street’s future.

sigh

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March 4, 2010

The plot thickens in the “Mysterious Death of Carol Wayne”



 

Mexican authorities wondered how Carol Wayne came to drown in waters four feet deep, fully clothed. There were no cuts or abrasions, so a fall from the nearby rocks was ruled out. The coroner stated that death occurred 3 – 4 days earlier and the body tested negative for drugs and alcohol.

Suspicions were raised: Carol Wayne had to be identified by workers at the Las Hadas resort where the couple had been staying earlier in the week. When locals went to look for Wayne’s traveling companion, they discovered that Edward Durston checked out three days earlier – leaving Wayne’s luggage at the airport with a message that she would pick up her bags in the morning.

Carol Wayne could not swim, and reportedly did not like to go too near the water. So how did she happen to be found dead in calm and shallow waters?

“Carol Wayne’s death is unsolved, certainly,” the U.S. Consular William LaCoque was quoted as saying in 1990. “But I don’t think it was a drowning. A drowning, yes, of course, but there is much more to it than that.” What more, we may never know.

As an aside, many readers may remember the (alleged) LSD related death of Art Linkletter’s daughter Diane. She jumped (or fell) from a sixth floor apartment building in 1969.

Art Linkletter basically ended his successful television career when he started crusading against drugs with a fervor that made it hard for middle America to find the afternoon talk show host funny anymore.

Not that it necessarily means anything, but Diane Linkletter’s companion the night she was killed was Edward Durston.

Edward Durston has been a companion of 2 Hollywood starlets’ deaths? I’m surprised he wasn’t hanging with Anna Nicole too!

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March 3, 2010

CNN’s Rick Sanchez at his apoplectic best [Video: The Uninformant | The Daily Show | Comedy Central]



 

Haven’t seen him this good since the taser!

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February 19, 2010

I was wrong. THIS is the best Deadspin #nbchate comment EVER!

Filed under: MSNBC, Olympics, Randomness, TV — Tags: , , , , , — webadmin @ 3:43 pm


 

From: Maureen W.
Date: Thu, Feb 18, 2010 at 1:39 AM
Subject: I hate you bald fat fuck
To: dick.ebersol@nbcuni.com
Cc: ajd@deadspin.com

Dear dickface,

I lost my job several months ago. My mother just died. I had a fucking tumor removed from my fucking lady business recently. and do you know what’s worse than all that? YOUR TOTAL FUCKING DISREGARD FOR SPORT. My husband & I both love the Olympics, and you have absolutely mother fucking ruined them for us (both of us being smack dab in the center of your target demographic, by the way. Just a couple of white people with money to burn, looking to enjoy the world’s greatest sports competition and find out what we should purchase next with all of our disposable income). We live two goddamned hours from Vancouver, imagine our surprise when we discovered that people in fucking brooklyn would be watching events live, while we poor idiots on the ENTIRE WEST COAST could all just suck what I assume is your non-functional cock until you felt like showing them to us. Guess what Dick? ITS NOT 1963!! FUCK YOU and the shit “job” that you do there. NBC fucked me on Conan, and now you are fucking me on the Olympics. I’m all fucked out Dick – I’m done with you and your whole shitty crew. Enjoy the total irrelevance your stupidty and incompetence has guaranteed you and your “industry.”

If you have anything to say in your defense, please feel more than free to email a reply. Just ask your assistant how to turn on your computer. You do have a computer right? You totally should, its a really good place to get live coverage of the Olympics.

Fuck you,
Maureen Whitney

p.s. we remember the turd you laid called the XFL, Dick. Everyone remembers.

Ahhh the Olympics brings out the best in all of us!

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best Deadspin #nbchate comment EVER!

Filed under: MSNBC, Olympics, Randomness, TV — Tags: , , , , , — webadmin @ 12:59 am


 

myotherrideisyourmom:

Ok, it’s bad enough that NBC’s Olympic coverage makes me want to gouge out my fucking eyeballs. However, the bigger issue is here that no one warned me that I would also have to listen to Cris ass face fucking Collinsworth in addition to dealing with NBC’s bullshit. It’s like some bizarre form of torture. This ass pirate has already completely ruined Sunday night football and let’s not forget that every time I want to play Madden I have to mute the damn TV. Now I have to listen to him shoot the shit with Bob Costas and offer his two cents on the Olympic events. YOU WERE A FUCKING FOOTBALL PLAYER! What the hell do you know about luge, bobsledding or alpine skiing? It’s like the perfect shit storm. You can’t watch the Olympics live and then you get audibly raped by that douche bag!

Hilarious!

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February 18, 2010

Exposing the MURDER of Carol Wayne



 
E! Mysteries & Scandals did an episode on Carol Wayne – 60s game show and sitcom star.

All that was discovered by producers is that in 1985, Carol Wayne and her companion Ed Durston had to leave their posh resort Las Hadas hotel in Manzanillo (they wanted to extend stay but hotel was booked— or they ran out of money?) and when Carol was not happy with the nearby hotel option (2 star) she stormed off in a huff.

Ed went to airport with her luggage – hoping she would show up for their planned flight. She never did. She turned up days later – dead – floating in the shallow bay.

Supposedly Ed Durston came home to LA very shook up (according to his ex wife) and had no idea where Carol had gone. Ed Durston was never questioned in her death as a potential murderer. His ex-wife told E! producers (off camera) that she knew in her heart Ed did not harm Carol – and he had been genuinely worried for her safety (Ed Durston was the guy with Dianne Linkletter the night she jumped out the window).

Carol was supposedly terrified of water (even refusing baths) according to her “personal assistant” interviewed by E! in 1999 — So how did she get in the water?
Did she score drugs and pass out — get abducted and raped ?
It’s not hard to imagine — a buxom blonde by herself – getting grabbed/raped and murdered in Mexico and murderer going free.

Mexican officials performed an autopsy and said she was clear of drugs or alcohol (but was this accurate or just shoddy medical techniques?) and they also ruled out foul play. It was called an accidental drowning.

Regardless of how she drowned— her body was cremated at the request of Barry Feinstein – her ex-husband and the father of her only son, Alex.

Her look-a-like sister Nina Wayne (a 60s actress — and mother of a daughter named Jessica with John Drew Barrymore) apparently had no say in the matter of her sister’s body.

Then again…her body was horribly bloated and cremation was quick and easy — but the cremation also destroyed her remains for any future examinations in the United States.

E! Producers supposedly found out (and this was not in the episode but was told to me) that her ex-husband Barry Feinstein had an accidental death insurance policy out on Carol — and he was able to collect the double-indemnity money due to the Mexican Gov’t findings that it was an accidental drowning and not drug/booze/murder related.

Carol had declared bankruptcy a year earlier and posed for Playboy for $$ and her drug use was escalating (she looked high as a kite as celeb judge on the Cable TV pageant “Best Chest in the West”).

Carol chose the now familiar “Britney / Lohan” cure of vacationing instead of serious rehab.

It was a tragic end to a lady that brought a lot of laughs via her TV appearances.

With the cocaine addicted / over-the-hill actress dead, and the insurance money collected (on her son’s behalf?) nobody asked another question about it — until E! went around asking colleagues and friends and relatives in 1999.

Barry Feinstein would not be interviewed, and Nina Wayne refused to be filmed for the show – wanting to leave it all in the past.

I smell a cover-up.

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The Art Fern Appreciation Page? Greatest. Website. Ever.

Filed under: Randomness, TV — Tags: , , , , , — webadmin @ 2:04 am


 

Films Shown On The Tea Time Movie!

This is not a complete list, but a random sampling of some of the more memorable classic movies screened by Art Fern!

ABBOTT AND COSTELLO VISIT A LEPER COLONY, with Marty Allen, Allen Dale, Dale Carnegie, and Erecto the Wonder Eel!

BAMBI GOES ALL THE WAY FOR A BUCK, with Ronald Coleman, Eric Coleman, Jerry Coleman, Coleman Stove, and Yutz the Wonder Buffalo!

BEULAH VACUUMS DIRTY HARRY, with Charles Laughton, Charles Ruggles, Ray Charles, Charles Finlay, Prince Charles, and Suck the Wonder Bat!

CHARLIE CHAN SPITS UP ON A COOLIE, with Ginger Rogers, Roy Rogers, Judy Rogers, Adelah Rogers Saint John, Al Fuzzy Saint John, and Strafe the Wonder Pigeon!

DRACULA GETS BOMBED ON A WINO, with Jack Lemon, Jack Haley, Haley Mills, The Mills Brothers, Dr. Joyce Brothers, and Spawn the Wonder Carp!

FLASH GORDON ZIPS OPEN HIS SPACE SUIT, with Nelson Eddy, Ed Barbar, Ozzie Nelson, Ozzie Davis, Betty Davis, and Schmuck the Wonder Pig!

KING ARTHUR HURTS HIMSELF ON A CHASTITY BELT, with Mama Cass, Fatha Hines, Brother Theodore, Sister George, and Splotch the Wonder Seagull!

ROSEMARY’S BABY EATS A PAMPER, with Tennessee Williams, Minnesotta Fats, Portland Hoffman, Nevada Smith, Simon Oakland, and Annette Funicello!

SABU BUYS A LEISURE LOIN-CLOTH, with Danny Kaye, Turhan Bey, Martha Raye, Faye Wray, Marvin Gaye, and Pellets the Nervous Rabbit!

TUGBOAT ANNIE GETS HER POOPDECK SWABBED, with Turhan Bey, Dennis Day, Stubby Kaye, Faye Wray, and Lick the Lap Dog!

THE WALTONS RIP OFF A WELFARE OFFICE, with Ryan O’Neal, Nolan Ryan, Lloyd Nolan, Lloyd Bridges, and Upchuck the Nosey Tapeworm!

WILBER MILLS WEARS A PARTY HAT TO THE UNITED NATIONS, with Valerie Perrine, Martin Sheen, Mean Joe Green, and Yutz the Dancing Buffalo!


[5] Pictures of Art Fern & the Matinée Lady (Johnny & Carol Wayne)!

All images are 266×200 in JPEG format.

Pic.  - Art Fern makes (another) saucy remark.   [ 21 KB ]

Pic.  - The Matinée Lady (with dark hair!) warms up to Art.   [ 21 KB ]

Pic.  - The Fun-Filled Twosome abuse Peter the pig.   [ 19 KB ]

Pic.  - Art & the Mystery Matinée Lady (Lee Meredith) having fun!   [ 16 KB ]


[6] Art Fern Speaks!  ( wave files )

Snd.  - Art Fern says Hello!   [ 47 KB ]

Snd.  - Art Fern says We Don’t Care!   [ 70 KB ]

Snd.  - Art Tells You How to Get There!   [ 152 KB ]

Snd.  - The Matinée Lady Speaks!   [ 76 KB ]

Snd.  - The Matinée Lady Talks About Beauty!   [ 59 KB ]

Snd.  - The Matinée Lady’s Beauty Tips!   [ 93 KB ]

Snd.  - Art Fern’s Xmas Message!   [ 123 KB ]

Snd.  - Art Fern’s Theme Music!   [ 48 KB ]

… take the San Bernadino Freeway to the San Diego Freeway until you get to the Slausson Cutoff. Then get out of your car and cut off your slausson! Then drive 8 more miles to the giant neon sign …

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February 16, 2010

FUNBC – [Afternoon Olympic Update: Worst Olympics Ever - Vancouver 2010 - Deadspin]

Filed under: MSNBC, Olympics, Randomness, TV — Tags: , , , , , — webadmin @ 1:06 pm


 

It’s Day 4 and I’m ready to call it. This Olympics sucks.

NBC boasted about their 800 hours of television coverage for Vancouver 2010, which sure sounds like a lot until you realize what they are actually broadcasting. Take today’s schedule for instance. Five of their six Olympics networks were dark this afternoon. The one actually showing sports didn’t start until 1 p.m. and then dazzled us with … cross-country skiing. Not the cool kind with guns, but the lame kind that isn’t even a race because the start times are staggered and one woman finishes then has to wait and see if someone can beat her, which they usually don’t. Also snowboard cross qualifying—which again is basically the most exiting, thrill-packed racing event minus the actual racing.

Oh well, I thought. It’s probably the best they can do for a Monday morning in Vancouver. That must have been all that was happening out there on this particular day. Until I turned over to MSNBC and saw … downhill medals! Bode Miller got a bronze! Was there any mention of that during the mind-numbing conversation between Brian Williams and Zombie Al Michaels on NBC TV? You bet your ass there wasn’t.

So NBC’s web properties are perfectly willing to live in the 21st Century, but the TV is still going to pretend that tape delay is just as exciting as live. (And it is, as long as you don’t go online to find out what’s on NBC tonight.) It’s an old complaint, but one that I’m still amazed we have to make. Why not let the people who want to watch events live, watch them live and let people who have day jobs choose whether they want spoilers or not? Are we animals?

Plus! The snow still sucks (it was colder in Dallas yesterday than it was in B.C.), skaters are getting death threats, billionaire internet scam artists are actually making judges look shady, and finely tuned elite athletes are being rewarded for their heroics with celebratory couches? Brainstorm! How about Olympic medals made out of double cheeseburgers! Your ribs are showing through those jump suits, beanpole!

Oh, and a guy died. This whole thing is pretty depressing, if you ask me.

Kumartishvili’s death? his fault. The weather? God’s fault. Not wanting to watch events live? Our fault. NBC and the Olympic committee are just doing what they do – i.e. spinning every story so we unconsciously lower our expectations of what the games should be about – namely collateral damage and restricted video highlights.

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January 15, 2010

Straight up Late Night Gangsterism: Kimmel on Leno

Filed under: Primetime, TV — Tags: , , , , , , , — webadmin @ 1:30 am


 

Never seen this before – Kimmel went right into Jay’s house (via satellite) and knifed him whie Jay sat there and took it:

11:00 PM ET: Here is the promised video of Kimmel on Leno’s show, participating in the 10@10 segment. And if you thought Kimmel’s impersonation of Leno on Tuesday was nasty, just wait until you watch this.

Some choice quotes, courtesy Kimmel:

  • [Asked by Leno what the best prank he ever pulled was] “The best prank I ever pulled was I told a guy that—five years from now—I’m gonna give you my show. And then when the five years came, I gave it to him, and then I took it back almost instantly.”
  • [Asked by Leno if he ever orders anything off of the TV] “Like NBC ordered your show off the TV?”
  • [Asked by Leno what the record is for number of lap dances he's received in one night] “Strippers, I don’t like in general. Because you have this phony relationship with them for money, similar to that of when you and Conan were on The Tonight Show together, passing the torch… you know what I’m saying.”
  • [Asked by Leno what he hasn't yet hosted, but would like to] “Oh, this is a trick, right? Where you get me to host The Tonight Show and then take it back from me?”
  • [Asked why he came on to do the segment] “Listen, Jay, Conan and I have children—all you have to take care of is cars. I mean, we have lives to lead here. You’ve got $800 million, for God’s sakes—leave our shows alone.”

awk warrrrrrd! I guess we now know that Kimmel’s on Team Coco! I’m sure they’re loving the ratings boost tho!

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Spicy! [Late Night Wars: Jay Leno Goes After Conan O'Brien, Jimmy Kimmel Decimates Leno to His Face, O'Brien Still Going Rogue - TV - Gawker.TV]

Filed under: Primetime, TV — Tags: , , , , , , , , , — webadmin @ 1:09 am


 

man this is getting good!

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