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Paul Scholes brought his volleyball game to a soccer match on Friday - trying to help Man United come back from a 2-1 deficit to Dick Advocaat’s Zenit St. Petersburg. His silly decision will now cost him a game suspension in the Champions League. Oooops.

As you can expect, his manager was completely livid at him blatantly violating a fundamental law of the game:

Manchester United crashed out of the Uefa Super Cup to an efficient display by Zenit St Petersburg. The Russian side had the better run of play in the first half and deserved their lead going into the break.

United worked harder in the second half, managed to claw back one goal, but a rush of blood and a hand of God saw Paul Scholes pick up a second caution as he punched the ball into the opposition net.

Sir Alex Ferguson spoke to ITV Sport as Zenit partied on the pitch: “We played our best football when we were two-nil down, it was a warm night, we had tired players, but both teams did well.”

Regarding Scholes’ dismissal, the United manager sympathised: “When someone gets sent off by punching the ball… it’s a bit unfortunate, it was an instinctive thing,” when it was brought to the Manchester United manager’s attention that the player would receive a European suspension valid for the Champions League, his face visibly dropped, but he added: “It happens.”

Singling out specific players for praise, Ferguson said: “I thought Tevez was outstanding, he was our best player.”

Did I say livid? I meant hypocritcally rationalizing. Good thing the referee wasn’t, though unless he was Howard Webb, any referee not seeing that blatant handball needs to have his eyes checked!

Here’s some wildcat video of the incident:


Hand of Scholes
and if that doesn’t work …


Hand of Scholes

Here’s a recap of the game:


Uefa Super Cup

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What a complete idiot. How did this guy get his job? Only a myopic idiot like Sepp Blatter could have the unmitigated gall to compare a footballer making millions to a slave:

“If the player wants to play somewhere else, then a solution should be found,” said Blatter.

“Because if he stays in a club where he does not feel comfortable to play then it’s no good for the player and for the club.

“I’m always in favour to protect the player and if the player wants to leave, let him leave.”

Manchester United insists Ronaldo must stay to see out his contract and are expecting him to return to their Carrington training complex next week.

Since the landmark Bosman ruling, players are free to leave clubs when their deals are concluded.

But, says Blatter, that has inspired owners to tie footballers to long contracts so that the only way for them to leave is to pay up the remainder or get the buying club to do so.

He said: “I think in football there is too much modern slavery, transferring players or buying players here and there, and putting them somewhere. And we are trying now to intervene in such cases.”

Asked if he felt sympathy for Ronaldo’s current position, Blatter said: “Absolutely, absolutely”.

He added: “Definitely as a footballer and the Fifa president, I’m very in sympathy with the player Ronaldo.”

Has he no grasp of history? Or no respect for personal responsibility? Ronaldo hardly lives the life of a slave. He’s gallivanting off to exclusive beaches with hot women and is living the life of a king. Not a slave.

As far as sympathy for Ronaldo or others in his situation, Bosman ruling or not, here’s a bit of advice: Don’t sign the contract! If you want to pick and choose where you will play - sign a short term contract. Sure - it won’t be as lucrative, but that’s the cost of flexibility. Sure you can take the chance and sign for 5 years and think you can weasel your way out of it - but that could backfire on you. You’ve hired an agent - some would believe a smart one - make sure he’s doing right by you.

Blatter has been here in Silly Town before - he tried pushing his 6+5 plan for limiting foreign players in club sides even though it runs afoul of EU labor law. So this begs the question - who let this slanted nutter in the front door to begin with.

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It’s the Cold War Final. An English team with a Russian owner and an English team with an American owner playing in Moscow a week after a Russian fan was stabbed in Manchester and 18 months after a Russian defector at odds with Vladimir Putin was poisoned (allegedly) in London … with Polonium. Throw in an Israeli coach, a distant cousin of Mariah Carey, the no-tolerance police, rat infested jails, traditionally binge-drinking English fans and Russian hooligans bent on revenge and you have all the makings of a grand spectacle!

Dan Roan reports

Sie sind die besten, indeed!

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If you don’t believe me - look at his body language. He’s been increasingly visibly upset in recent games as Arsenal’s Premier League season has unraveled, and once again in Liverpool as their Champions League campaign fizzled. Even before Adebayor’s supposed away-goal winner went in and especially after the Toure penalty on Babel, Wenger looked like he wanted to wrestle anyone in his immediate path. Why would he be behaving like this?

My only answer is that he knows this is his last year in North London. Even before this past off-season started, David Dien left the club. Dein was Wenger’s biggest supporter and the one that brought him to Arsenal 10+ years ago. And the ensuing few months were filled with wild speculation over takeovers from Stan Kroenke and Alisher Usmanov. And even though Wenger signed an extension earlier this season, one wonders that there isn’t an easily triggered out clause.

With many apparent openings in top European sides this summer (Madrid, Barcelona, the Milans, etc.) no doubt they’d love to have Wenger’s coaching talents and his beautiful free-flowing style of football. And without an uncertain transfer budget to worry about, he could build a team with the depth that he couldn’t afford at Arsenal.

Of course, I could be reading way too much into this. Maybe he was just upset that a 5 point lead in the Premiership evaporated just as soon as Eduardo’s broke his leg and now with the domestic cups gone and the European Cup run teetering, the only thing to look forward to was a slim chance of passing both Manchester United and Chelsea in the league.

But I don’t have a good feeling about this.

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also applies to Mirko Slomka. Warm up the bus.

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