August 19, 2008

NBC Knows NOTHING About Soccer

Yo mama's so fat and old that when God said "Let there be Light", he told her to move her fat butt out of the way.

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How do you leave in the middle of a game to run commercials … while the game is still going on? NBC has been doing that on their coverage of Olympic soccer and they finally got burned. This morning during the Nigeria - Belgium match, Nigeria scored their second goal while NBC was on a commercial break. Thank goodness for the Telemundo coverage - they know how to treat a soccer game.

They’re doing the same with the marquee Brazil vs Argentina game. C’mon! I mean … if you’re going to commit to broadcast the game live … broadcast the game live. Otherwise - tape delay it and squeeze the commercials in without disturbing game action. Or just leave it to the Spanish stations.

The other thing is the color commentary is atrocious. Marcelo Balboa may sound coherent (which is a plus for most athletes) but his insight is laughable. He wonders why Belgium sat back and tried to defend against Nigeria while they didn’t against a powerhouse like Italy. I’ll tell you why - Nigeria is fast as shit. They counter-attack in seconds - not from long passes but from dribbling fast. Italy isn’t as fast and IMO shouldn’t be mistaken for their much more accomplished (and experiences) senior team.

Marcelo Balboa did all the US games for ESPN during the 2006 World Cup and he was just as bad there. He talks like he’s a coach and we’re the team, yelling and cajoling to try to make his point. Almost like he’s pissed. Dude - there’ no airplane passing by, and you’re doing the games from studio in New York. Talk to us like a normal analyst.

NBC - they suck at football and they suck at futbol. But they’re great at showing tape-delayed gymnastics and swimming!

UPDATE: it happened AGAIN - Argentina’s second goal - during commercial.

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November 7, 2007

Matchday 4 Thoughts, Premiership Foreigners

Yo mama's so dumb she thought St Ides was a Catholic church.

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Arsenal, fresh from their 2-2 draw at the Emirates vs Manchester United, travel to the Czech Republic to play Slavia Prague today. The last time these two met in London, Slavia were on the wrong end of a 7-0 beatdown, a Champions League record (tied) until Liverpool’s 8-0 thrashing of Besiktas yesterday. And apparently some of those Besiktas players WILL be walking alone soon.

Meanwhile ol’ inaudible SAF is at it again, plugging down the tired old road about too many foreigners in the premiership and that causing the decline in quality of the English national team. Of course Wenger and the arseblog hits it right on the head:

I always felt that sport rewards quality and does not hide behind artificial rules. If you put the level of the class down, it does not necessarily make the bad students better. It makes them worse. The real question is how can England take the opportunity to produce world-class players?

And that’s spot on, in my opinion. It’s too easy for people to say that the lack of England’s quality players is down to foreigners. There’s no question that some local players don’t get the chances they should but that is almost entirely to do with the inflated transfer market for English players. Simple economics dictates that a manager who can buy a Frenchman or a Spaniard or a German for 1/4 of the price of an English player of the same quality is going to shop abroad.

FIFA’s ideas about limiting the number of foreign players are not designed to improve the game. Not one bit. As I’ve always said they’re designed to lower the quality of the club game so the decline in quality of international football becomes less obvious. Septic Bladder won’t be happy with the EU’s comments that such a rule is unenforceable and would be a restriction of free movement of workers within the community. What did he expect though? Still, the charade will go on. The next time England fail to qualify for a tournament or get knocked out in the 1/4 finals the bleating about foreigners will start again and the real issues will be ignored again and again.

Becks BuddlePerhaps SAF and the others who are upset at the quality of English football would do well to look at the quality of their current head coach. Instead of looking at some of the players coming off injuries or otherwise playing in England like Lampard, Wright Phillips and Hargraves, he decided to fly to LA to check out David Beckham practicing with the Galaxy and playing in a charity game against Hollywood United - a team made up of, among other wannabe athletes, Drew Carey and a guy from Def Leppard. Allegedly:

Since LA Galaxy coach Frank Yallop had just quit rather than continue with the Beckham circus, we might presume the real cause being helped here is McClaren’s job appeal. I hope the FA made him pay for his ticket.

To say the whole thing is Mickey Mouse would be an insult to cartoon characters everywhere.

As the boys on Fox Football Fone-In mention - if Russia manage to beat Israel next Saturday and knock England out of Euro 2008, England will be the last place Stevie will want to be. Even worse if Russia draws and England drop the ball against Croatia.

Finally Barcelona prepare for a rematch against Rangers at the Camp Nou. Despite the abundance of talent in Ronaldinho, Thierry Henry and Lionel Messi, Rangers were able to hold them at Ibrox to a draw, with American Damarcus Beasly even warning beforehand, “We Wont Stand Back To Admire.” And they didn’t, but this is a whole different ballgame. Rangers actually have a decent chance of making the Knockout round!
DMB2DMB1

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September 30, 2006

Matchday 2 Thoughts

Yo mama's so fat she uses a hula hoop to hold up her socks

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Due to some unfortunate blunders with my cable provider I ended up having to “watch” yesterday’s Barca-Bremen game online (thanks, UEFA). Needless to say it was looking bleak down 1-0 and Eto’o carted off (he’s out 5 months!!) but my namesake and future mancrush Lionel Messi came on, mixed it up, attacked the back line and levelled in the 89th minute! YES!!!

Arsenal are back, baby!! Henry 2 headers in 4 days. He hasn’t headed a goal since 2004.

Again, I say Sheva who? Didier Drogba is continuing his assault - with 3 against Levki Sofia. Hats, please.

Wayne Rooney in the midfield? That’s what Louis Saha’s great start to this season has meant to England’s next big thing. Both Saha and Drogba are looking every bit as dangerous now as before they made the move to their respective high profile clubs.

Paul Scholes? Homophobic remarks? Ohh, Paulie …

Crouchaldinho aka The Pipe Cleaner probably scored the goal of the week with his inverted, half-pipe, 135 degree bicycle kick. I swear, his playing footy defies physics.

Valencia did a number on poor Roma who could only manage a penalty kick from the birthday boy Francesco Totti.

Inter is bottom of it’s group after 2 games. and worse - they ammassed 2 red cards yesterday, one to Zlatan Ibrahimovic. Italy’s not doing that well in this tournament.

In 3 weeks, the world will grind to a halt as Chelsea and Barcelona renew their rivalry on Halloween (right?) and Estrella Bucharest try to hold off a hungry Real Madrid. Celtic and Benfica have a pivotal game at Parkhead.

As an American and a student of Beavis and Butthead, the word BUNG is just hilarious to me.

and OH YEAH…

READING ARE INTERESTED IN FREDDIE ADU!!!

Major League Soccer team DC United have cooled speculation linking teenage midfielder Freddy Adu with a move to Reading, insisting he is going nowhere. The regular MLS season ends in the United States in October and Reading were reportedly set to sign the 17-year-old on loan in January. However, a DC United spokesman told BBC Sport: “We expect Freddy to be in our uniform for the foreseeable future. “He is the focal point of the team and a very popular figure at the club.” Adu’s agent Richard Motzkin revealed in February that Manchester United and Chelsea had both mooted their interest in the teenager. In 2004, Adu became the youngest professional MLS player when he signed a deal with DC United - at the age of 14.The Ghana-born midfielder also became the youngest player to compete for the USA when he was handed his senior debut against Canada in March. However, he was left out of their World Cup squad this summer. Reading are thought to be keen for Adu to line up with fellow Americans Bobby Convey, a winger who also played for DC, and goalkeeper Marcus Hahnemann. Adu’s registration with DC United, who have won the championship four times, means he is playing for the most successful club in the 10-year history of the MLS. “DC United have always been a big draw and Adu is also a big draw,” said the spokesman. “We are pleased with the way he has developed.”

Freddy - GO NOW! MLS - Send Him!! He is our future! He needs proper training! Send Him! Look what the EPL did for McBride, Reyna, and Friedel!! Look what staying in MLS did for Donovan.

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