February 10, 2008

City - United was not City Divided …

Yo mama's so fat she can't wear Dazzey Dukes. She has to wear Boss Hoggs

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… until the final score. City went up 2-0 at Old Trafford at halftime. One would think that the pressure of the occasion was too much for United. They did manage a consolation goal in stoppage time, but the result gives City the double over their cross-town rivals and gives Arsenal a chance to go 5 points clear when they play Blackburn tomorrow.

Munich Air Disaster Manchester United City

But the big talking point, the fear that agitating Manchester City fans ruining the minute of silence in remembrance of the 50 year anniversary of the Munich Air Disaster, those fears were not realized.

A capacity crowd at Old Trafford today impeccably respected the minute’s silence in memory of the Munich disaster.

Munich Air Disaster Manchester United CityUnited and City fans raised their commemorative scarves around the ground and stood in tribute to the 23 people, including eight of the famed ‘Busby Babes’, who died in the air crash 50 years ago last Wednesday.

But during the minute’s silence, what appeared to be loud bangs were heard coming from outside the stadium.

Injured United captain Gary Neville, watching from the stands, appeared visibly shocked at the intrusion.

The silence was not respected at the England national team game in midweek as team loyalty trumped respect. But today, the only disrespect was shown by firecrackers heard outside the grounds. All in all, a decent outcome.

Munich Air Disaster Manchester United City Dorias Vassell Manchester United City

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December 18, 2007

Don Fabio Unveiled

Yo mama's so fat when she wears a red dress people yell "Hey Kool Aid .."

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The new England manager is introduced to the press - and he doesn’t speak English. Surely a sore spot for the proud English football supporters.

And the newspapers were right on target with the derision. The Sun:

So what did we learn yesterday? Precious little to add to what we already knew.

The mountain of information made available to us had included his love of philosophy, classical music and art.

He is even rumoured to have a £5million Chagall hanging on his wall. Which made a change from Sven, whose own taste was more along the lines of Shag-all.

He also likes hiking in Tibet and visiting archaeological sites.

Well, he’s come to a classic one here.

England, the country whose football is in a similar state of disrepair to the Foro Romano, the ancient Roman ruins he knows so well from his time in the Italian capital.

The Daily Mail seemed a little more perturbed:

But when the formalities were completed, it was clear it was not Capello being welcomed into this New England, it was us.

We are now outsiders. We wait for some translated banality to be passed on like grateful tourists in our own national game. All thanks to a governing body that has so completely lost sight of its duty that the country’s team has merely a passing acquaintance with England.

In fact, the only evidence of a meaningful English presence in this entire charade is on the banknotes bearing The Queen’s face currently being whisked away to an Italian bank by Capello and his legion of coaching staff.

But The Telegraph gave him the respect his experience and presence commanded:

Fabio Capello swept into an auditorium at the Royal Lancaster Hotel in London yesterday like a distinguished emeritus professor from Italy intent on educating a bunch of unruly English undergraduates. His audience was swiftly captivated, spell-bound by the presence of a managerial heavyweight now in the Football Association’s employ.

The FA have been involved in some momentous calamities in recent years -building the white elephant that is Wembley, dithering over the much-needed National Football Centre, and appointing Steve McClaren - but yesterday they displayed a fitness to govern by asking Capello to bring some method to the madness of English football.

From McClaren to Capello, from the Wally with the Brolly to the Man with the Plan, in 26 days: even by England’s surreal, switchback standards, this has been a staggering turnaround. The game’s maturing process from penalty-missing, tournament-missing adolescence to trophy-chasing adulthood has only just begun.

It’s going to be an interesting and fun four years. Expect Becks to get his 100th and play some part on the bench in a leadership and experience role. At least for 2008.

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December 11, 2007

No Mo. Fabio’s Next

Yo mama's so ugly when she passes by a bathoom the toilet flushes.

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The “Jose Mourinho to England” dream is dead. I’m guessing they didn’t like what he was selling (or more likely what he wanted to control). But apparently he won’t be without work for long:

The ex-Chelsea boss has been out of work since leaving Stamford Bridge by mutual consent in September.

Mourinho had been the favourite to replace the sacked Steve McClaren as manager of the English national team, however the Portuguese tactician is believed to have turned down the Football Association’s job offer.

According to the Gazzetta dello Sport and a number of English tabloids, the reason for this rejection is AC Milan.

Jose In A Skirt

The Daily Express apparently have a hilarious take on the fact that Jose used England to generate interest from other clubs.

Fabio Cabbage CapelloAnd it now looks like Fabio Capello is the next in line. He’s considered too old for club jobs and he’s had success, winning titles at every club he’s been with. And he was the one who motivated Beckham’s return to form with Real Madrid. TheDaily Express has a take on that too - warning that Fabio Cabbage will have eventually trouble with the media such as the picture on the left.

UPDATE: It’s Official - FABIO’S THE MAN

Fabio in a TuTu

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November 26, 2007

Croatian Penis?

Yo mama's so stupid at bottom of application where it says Sign Here - she put Sagitarius.

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Funniest thing to come out of the game. Apparently, in the Croatian tongue, it’s real easy to confuse love and penis:

Tony Henry, the opera singer tasked with singing the national anthems before England’s game with Croatia earlier this week, has become an unlikely hero of the Croatian game after appearing to make a somewhat risque slip of the tongue while belting out the nation’s tune.

The singer, from St Albans, Hertfordshire, should have sung “Mila kuda si planina”, which translates roughly as “You know my dear how we love your mountains”. Instead, he appears to have sung “Mila kura si planina”, which, although moderately nonsensical, can be interpreted as “My dear, my penis is a mountain”.

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Reaction To The Problems With English Football

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Lots of interesting articles questioning the qualifications of Steve McClaren and the skill level of English footballers in a culture that perhaps doesn’t value the right qualities. Simon Barnes of the Times writes about McClaren’s desire to please the press rather than find his own way.:

It is not that the job is impossible. Eriksson took England to three successive quarter-finals and through three successful qualification campaigns. Of course the pressure is intense, that’s why the job needs a man of remarkable strength, one who is certain of what he wants, equally contemptuous of critics and flatterers, with the nerves of a burglar and a deep understanding of international football.

Such men exist. They are rare, which is why they command high salaries. The pressure is absurd, the criticism hysterical in many countries: we need not plume ourselves on being especially awful, save in our fascination with the sexual lives of footballing men. But what the job demands above all else is a self-confidence devoid of vanity. McClaren had the exact opposite.

This has been a woeful 17 months for English football. It looked like a disaster from day one and so it turned out. I don’t think any of us is in the least bit surprised about that. McClaren never had it: you could see it in the cut of his jib; above all, you could see it in his smile.

Michael Owen, who was injured and watched the game on TV, thinks that England succumbed to the pressure of the moment:

‘It came down to the pressure of making a mistake when it really mattered. If we’d won the games we should have, we wouldn’t have ended up putting that kind of pressure on ourselves. It was our own fault.

‘The best sportsman can deal with it, someone like Tiger Woods thrives on it.

‘When you play at this high level, 99% of your performance level takes place in your head and that puts a big onus in coping mentally.

‘When fear takes over, you start to do things wrong and take the easy option which in our case is lumping the ball forward to the front men.

‘I’m not absolving myself from blame just because I was not playing. What must be addressed as much as anything is our psychological preparations.’

Martin Samuel thinks that there’s a culture of fear in English Football:

Brooking talks up his skills programme, but there is little point in teaching a ten-year-old the Cruyff turn if he is expected to put it into practice on a full-sized pitch with his coach screaming at him to clear his lines. The whole process requires reform, not one executive aspect of it.

It is almost as if English footballers are out of practice in thinking about the game. Gareth Barry was required to anchor England’s midfield against Croatia, yet the statistics show that his touches of the ball were generally in more advanced positions than Frank Lampard and Steven Gerrard, thus negating the plan to have them breaking forward to latch on to Peter Crouch’s knock-downs. Other countries, the Netherlands in particular, give the sport an intellectual centre. Yet in both games, Croatia’s midfield looked brighter than ours. Better educated. Better prepared. They knew what they wanted to achieve and had paid attention in class.

Whoever follows McClaren will need to be a strong personality. Some of the malaise within the English game, specifically at grass roots, is not his to change, so all that can be done is to work on removing the fear from the elite players. It requires a psychologist — José Mourinho or Martin O’Neill, thinking men who may approach the problem from a fresh angle, single-minded and unafraid.

And finally, Bobby McMahon confronts the idea that passion is the number one quality to look for in a player:

Passion - England (and often Scotland’s) answer to any football problem. Could someone please explain to me why so many British fans seem to believe that passion is some sort of differentiator between British sides and foreign teams?

How does that square with the foreign (particularly Latin) stereotype of being hot tempered and dare I say overly “passionate”? Isn’t the constant use of the word “passion” just another way of saying technically inferior and the only way that it can be covered up is running around more and trying harder? It may work in the short term but it has a limited shelf life.

Doesn’t it strike everyone as a bit odd that while British fans worship at the altar of passion that it is other countries - who apparently are not so passionate - produce teams that win the WC and European championships?

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November 25, 2007

Scattered Thoughts on 2007-11-25

Yo mama's so old, she co-wrote one of the ten commandments.

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  • Oh my - an Auburn DB was just bitten in the hand by a police dog after he defended a play in the end zone. Then they took the dog away! #
  • Kansas Jayhawks, Exposed by Missouri in Kansas City, Missouri! If they win out - it’ll be West Virginia - Mizzou for the BCS title. Yuck! #
  • Callahan, Orgeron and Franchione fired. OK - Fran resigned but same thing. Along with Carr that leaves a lot of head coach posts available #
  • WaSU wins Apple Cup on last minute bomb - capitalizing on a blitz and blown coverage. OSU’s clock cleaned by OU. Clemson beat Spurrier #
  • VTech (errr. VPI) beat UVa. BC beat Miami for the first time since Hail Flutie, Canes finish 5-7 :(. No bowl for you. Kyle Wright: abysmal. #
  • Kent State lost to Buffalo. UNC beat Duke. UCLA beat Oregon and BYU beat Utah. How does Stanford win at USC and lose at home to Notre Dame? #
  • Wow - Celtics beat Charlotte on buzzer beating 3 by Ray Allen. Is this post Laker game hangover? Apparently their gym was rocking. #
  • Mizzou KU game running time: 226 minutes. ABC is reeeeally milking it for ad money, isn’t it. #
  • Just to reiterate: Nick “The Dick” Saban lost. That’s 6 straight Iron Bowls to Auburn. War Eagle #
  • Arsenal, Man City, Chelsea, Pompy, Liverpool win. Man United lose to Bolton! Arsenal: 3 points clear and a game in hand! #
  • Fight On … College Football’s Top Franchises http://tinyurl.com/2ecc9k I still don’t get why Notre Dame is so popular. Oh well. #
  • Owen: Pressure got to England http://tinyurl.com/28sp6w “99% … takes place in your head and that puts a big onus in coping mentally.” #
  • “When fear takes over, you start to do things wrong and take the easy option which in our case is lumping the ball forward to the front men” #
  • “I’m not absolving myself from blame… What must be addressed as much as anything is our psychological preparations.” #
  • http://tinyurl.com/ytz32g England Play Croatia again in World Cup Qualifying. N. Korea play S. Korea and US could play Cuba. Spicy! #
  • Browns, Jags, Saints on the rise. Giants come back to the pack. With Detroit losing, NFC will be tough to call. AFC looks like CLE & JAX. #
  • Mizzou is BCS #1 and WV are #2. For Now. Mizzou plays Oklahoma - their only loss. WV has a layup with Pitt. Ohio State is waiting at #3. #
  • BCS gets what they deserve. Mizzou vs West Virginia? Worst. Title game. Ever. #
  • East Lower http://tinyurl.com/286lhf On Arsenal: “we have secured 13 of our 33 points in the last ten minutes of our games.” #

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