myopiclunacy.com

Wow - I didn’t even know she was on Nickelodeon. I wonder is she will still be there after this news:

Having only pre-shot Spears-related pregnancy segments involving scenarios in which the reliably troubled, impressively fertile Britney is knocked up by either one of her record producers, a Starbucks barista with whom she spends more quality time than her children, or a Child Services case worker lured into her sex dungeon during a routine home visit, the media found themselves scrambling to deal with the wholly unanticipated news of Jamie Lynn’s impregnation that broke late yesterday.

Defamer videographer Molly McAleer has compiled this brief sampling of how some TV outlets (such as local ABC and NBC affiliates and the always-nimble TMZ) responded to this story of unparalleled international importance, wrapping it up with today’s coverage from The View that had the advantage of an entire night’s worth of Whoopi Goldberg’s thoughtful contemplation.

Popularity: 5% [?]

I’ve found a goldmine of humor - and it’s called Fake Blogs - or more accurately NewsGroper. It’s Stephen Colbert meets DailyKos almost. I was reading The Miami Sports Blog and found out that Miami Heat center Shaq had a blog … well, a fake blog - where I uncovered this gem about his recent divorce:

Shaunie, I am sorry that this had to happen. But when a woman tries to keep secrets from Shaq, she must pay the consequences. When you were hiding that cash in the garbage pails behind the pool, I thought it was just part of our kinky Sopranos role-playing. But it turns out that you were really hiding cash from me, and now Shaq is broke.

It’s not all your fault, Shaunie. It doesn’t help that Shaq only allowed you to address him as “#32.” It was probably wrong of me to demand that you dress as a Nubian Queen to all of our dinner parties. What probably put you over the top was when Shaq made you repeat “The Royal Penis is clean, your Highness” after every time we made oral love.

Had me ROLLING. But they have tons of other fake blogs there too! People like Hillary Clinton and Rudy Giuliani, Britney Spears, Vladimir Putin, Ann Coulter and Donald Trump. In fact MSNBC got in trouble, apparently, for taking these blogs seriously!:

IN a story that MSNBC.com ran last Friday on how the legal troubles of disgraced NFL star Michael Vick are dividing African-Americans, Web site editors apparently fell hook, line and sinker for a parody Web site that made up a quote from the Rev. Al Sharpton.

In the first version of the story that appeared on MSNBC.com, Sharpton was quoted as having written on his personal blog, “If the police caught Brett Favre (a white quarterback for the Green Bay Packers) running a dolphin-fighting ring out of his pool, where dolphins with spears attached to their foreheads fought each other, would they bust him? Of course not. They would get his autograph, complimenting him on tightly spiraled passes, then bet on one of his dolphins.”

You have to read the story to understand just how shitty a job this MSNBC reporter did. I mean there was some pretty obvious hyperbole in there. How fucked up an opinion must you have of Sharpton that you’d accept this as truth? That you can’t distill nonsense from sense. That you don’t notice the names of the other fake bloggers on the site including Vladimir Fucking Putin!?! (that’s his real middle name) So what does MSNBC call it in their retraction? A hoax. Hah! - Fake Al Sharpton had a response locked and loaded:

I can assure you, I’m no hoax. When I said that Brett Favre was probably fighting dolphins against each other to the death with swords crudely attached by duct tape, it obviously wasn’t real; it was a METAPHOR. First of all, the adhesive in the tape wouldn’t hold up in salt water, and also, how many backyard saline pools have you ever swam in?

Fake Blogs RULE!

Popularity: 8% [?]