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Yo mama's so fat when she wears a red dress people yell "Hey Kool Aid .."

• Oh my - an Auburn DB was just bitten in the hand by a police dog after he defended a play in the end zone. Then they took the dog away! #
• Kansas Jayhawks, Exposed by Missouri in Kansas City, Missouri! If they win out - it’ll be West Virginia - Mizzou for the BCS title. Yuck! #
• Callahan, Orgeron and Franchione fired. OK - Fran resigned but same thing. Along with Carr that leaves a lot of head coach posts available #
• WaSU wins Apple Cup on last minute bomb - capitalizing on a blitz and blown coverage. OSU’s clock cleaned by OU. Clemson beat Spurrier #
• VTech (errr. VPI) beat UVa. BC beat Miami for the first time since Hail Flutie, Canes finish 5-7 :(. No bowl for you. Kyle Wright: abysmal. #
• Kent State lost to Buffalo. UNC beat Duke. UCLA beat Oregon and BYU beat Utah. How does Stanford win at USC and lose at home to Notre Dame? #
• Wow - Celtics beat Charlotte on buzzer beating 3 by Ray Allen. Is this post Laker game hangover? Apparently their gym was rocking. #
• Mizzou KU game running time: 226 minutes. ABC is reeeeally milking it for ad money, isn’t it. #
• Just to reiterate: Nick “The Dick” Saban lost. That’s 6 straight Iron Bowls to Auburn. War Eagle #
• Arsenal, Man City, Chelsea, Pompy, Liverpool win. Man United lose to Bolton! Arsenal: 3 points clear and a game in hand! #
• Fight On … College Football’s Top Franchises http://tinyurl.com/2ecc9k I still don’t get why Notre Dame is so popular. Oh well. #
• Owen: Pressure got to England http://tinyurl.com/28sp6w “99% … takes place in your head and that puts a big onus in coping mentally.” #
• “When fear takes over, you start to do things wrong and take the easy option which in our case is lumping the ball forward to the front men” #
• “I’m not absolving myself from blame… What must be addressed as much as anything is our psychological preparations.” #
• http://tinyurl.com/ytz32g England Play Croatia again in World Cup Qualifying. N. Korea play S. Korea and US could play Cuba. Spicy! #
• Browns, Jags, Saints on the rise. Giants come back to the pack. With Detroit losing, NFC will be tough to call. AFC looks like CLE & JAX. #
• Mizzou is BCS #1 and WV are #2. For Now. Mizzou plays Oklahoma - their only loss. WV has a layup with Pitt. Ohio State is waiting at #3. #
• BCS gets what they deserve. Mizzou vs West Virginia? Worst. Title game. Ever. #
• East Lower http://tinyurl.com/286lhf On Arsenal: “we have secured 13 of our 33 points in the last ten minutes of our games.” #

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Yo mama's so ugly when she was born she was put in an incubator with tinted windows

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doug christie is practicing for his new role in the drama crying while eating.

rodman got banned from the chatroom, so he ditched smegmonkey and now he’s posting as coughing anus. bannination is 3…2….1..

the world’s most popular last name is wang. the most popular first name in the world is mohammed. but there isn’t anyone named mohammed wang. go figure. the wangs are holding steady, but hell is reporting a recent up-tick in new membership named mohammed. overheard: satan is apparently half french. le bwahahaha. more recruits are coming soon: new blazers prefer new coke.

mel gibson confuses me. first he’s scottish patriot. then he’s an american patriot. then he’s on the wrong end of a railroad tie, trying to start-up an aramaic masochism cult. dude. pick a team.

robert parish named chairman of the joint chiefs.

coach nate is reluctant to follow the blazer tradition of using ouija board and blow-darts to choose starters.

predrag stojakovic and brad miller. peaches and gravy.

they say the only mammal that can’t jump is an elephant. they ain’t seen webber lately. they also say that reno is west, not east of los angeles, which completely evades the reality that reno is north of los angeles, not east nor west.

the league substance abuse policy doesn’t include viagra for coaches, so all the bladder/prostrate fellas can stay on the sidelines without retribution.


oliver miller strains stomach muscle, vitals critical, priest contacted.

like shaq said of the lakers back in 1998, “right now, the popcorn is still a little brown seed.” welcome to 2005-2006, where the brown seed looks pretty small again.

lakers will allow kwamme to sing the national anthem, just so he can have a highlight.

a decade ago, derrick coleman was asked why he declined an invitation to go hunting with teammate jayson williams: “i'm not going hunting with anyone who plays the same position as me.” … fast-forward to the present and a limo driver is dead from shotgun wounds and williams is in pound-my-anus prison for splattering dude’s guts. wow. the next time you see derrick coleman, ask him to pick lotto numbers for you. dude sees into the future.

solved!! karl malone owns-up that he was such a poor ft shooter as a rookie that he starting taking to the ball — to put some english on it.

celtics miss parquet dead spots, hire oliver miller to dent new floor.

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