So much for the “I was young and stupid” A-Fraud story. So much for being given an opportunity to come clean and be accountable for the first time in baseball’s roid era. Apparently when Alex Roidriguez said he bought the Boli OTC in the DR, he was either lying or he was stupid:

SANTO DOMINGO, Dominican Republic — According to the official in charge of the agency which regulates pharmaceutical drugs in the Dominican Republic, Primobolan was not available for legal purchase, over-the-counter or with a prescription in his country between 2001 and 2003.

Dr. Pia Veras, who oversees the regulatory agency, told ESPNdeportes.com that Primobolan is known as “boli” in the streets of Dominican Republic, and was not legal for purchase during the aforementioned years.

ooooops

Rodriguez, who tested positive to Primobolan and testosterone, as reported by SI, said Tuesday at Yankees spring training that his cousin, Yuri Sucart, repeatedly injected him from 2001 to ‘03 with a mysterious substance from the Dominican Republic. Rodriguez explained that they bought the over-the-counter drug, which he termed “boli,” from a pharmacy in the Dominican Republic.
…
“No pharmacy carries this product; no pharmacy has this product as registered in its inventory,” sadi Pinedo, who oversees the anti-doping testing of Dominican athletes at Olympic level prior to international competitions. “You can get this but you have to go to the underground market.”

2001-2003, huh? And then there’s this:

A trainer banned from Major League Baseball clubhouses for an incident involving performance-enhancing drugs has been a close associate of Yankees superstar Alex Rodriguez for several years, so close that a source said he accompanied Rodriguez most of his 2007 MVP season, according to a report in the New York Daily News.

The report quoted sources saying Angel Presinal, banned from MLB clubhouses ever since an unmarked bag of steroids was linked to him in October 2001, spent much of 2007 traveling with the third baseman, even staying in the same room as Yuri Sucart — the cousin identified as the one Rodriguez claimed acquired and injected him with steroids in 2001-03 while he was with the Rangers.

“[Presinal] was around Alex in 2007,” a source told the Daily News. “Every hotel they went to, he stayed in the same room with Yuri. You would never see Alex with [Presinal]. They would meet in one of their rooms.”

MLB has warned players to stay away from Presinal, the Daily News reported, but sources told the paper he and Rodriguez had been seen together in New York and Miami as recently as this past fall.

He’s done. The dream is over. Crocodile tears won’t help. Crocodile-filled lakes may.

At least now we know Madonna’s ageless secret. I bet their affair was more about “ka-Boli” and less about kaballah!

Just saw an interview with US Softball cleanup hitter Crystl Bustos:

BEIJING – Pitchers who fool Crystal Bustos once should consider themselves lucky.

Trying to do it a second time is just plain stupid.

Bustos is called the Babe Ruth of softball for her home run prowess. She also draws comparisons to the Babe for being a character and for being slightly rotund, to put it mildly.

Sure she’s big and strong and a power hitter. But if you listen to her – she sounds like a he. A deeper voice than Mike Piazza. And her dad! And I’m not the only one to notice.

Sad thing is, at this point she’s probably a better power hitter than Piazza!

Just saying!

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HAHAHAHA Brutus The Barber Beefcake’s wife? Oh this is hilarious now. Especially after almost every myopian baseball reporter tried to paint Barry Bonds as the next Charles Manson and how his testimony in Congress broke down into partisan bullshit with some Republican congressmen calling him a hero. Put this in your hypocritic family values pipe and smoke it!

Roger Clemens Can’t Keep The Rocket in his Pants

Roger Clemens is going to need to come up with a better defense to accusations that he lied about using steroids than, “I am a consummate family man who doesn’t lie or cheat about anything.” From the way things are shaking out, it’s unclear if Roger has any female friends he didn’t try to fly around the country on his private jet and sleep with at one point. In addition to country singer Mindy McCready, real estate agent Angela Moyers, some yet-unnamed ladies, and the wife of ex-pro wrestler Brutus ‘the Barber’ Beefcake (she actually shot him down), the Daily News is now reporting that Clemens had a relationship with Paulette Dean Daly, the ex-wife of drunk golfer John Daly. 

Daly didn’t deny the allegations, other than to say, “I’m really uncomfortable talking about this.” Probably because Clemens and her husband, a talented golfer who has long battled an alcohol problem, are good friends. Paulette actually left Daly two weeks after he checked into a rehab program in 1997; her relationship with Clemens supposedly started sometime after that.

It’s pretty clear that at this point, Clemens would be wise to drop the defamation of character suit he filed in January against his former trainer Brian McNamee. There’s really not much character left to, you know, defend, but there’s a whole lot more left to defame. The Daily News‘ legal expert Ernest Nargi offers up this advice to the Rocket’s attorney: “If Roger was my client, I’d say, ‘Look, let’s sit down and find out what’s out there. How many women are there? A girl a day? Every 15 minutes is one going to materialize from a bar or a trailer?’ Hardin needs to find out what’s out there.”

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I must admit – I was surprised at the long list of names:

Brady Anderson, Manny Alexander, Rick Ankiel, Jeff Bagwell, Barry Bonds, Aaron Boone, Rafael Betancourt, Bret Boone, Milton Bradley, David Bell, Dante Bichette, Albert Belle, Paul Byrd, Wil Cordero, Ken Caminiti, Mike Cameron, Ramon Castro, Jose Canseco, Ozzie Canseco, Roger Clemens, Paxton Crawford, Wilson Delgado, Lenny Dykstra, Johnny Damon…

…Carl Everett, Kyle Farnsworth, Ryan Franklin, Troy Glaus, Rich Garces, Jason Grimsley, Juan Gonzalez, Eric Gagne, Nomar Garciaparra, Jason Giambi, Jeremy Giambi, Jose Guillen, Jay Gibbons, Juan Gonzalez, Clay Hensley, Jerry Hairston, Felix Heredia, Jr., Darren Holmes, Wally Joyner, Darryl Kile, Matt Lawton, Raul Mondesi, Mark McGwire, Guillermo Mota, Robert Machado, Damian Moss, Abraham Nunez…

…Trot Nixon, Jose Offerman, Andy Pettitte, Mark Prior, Neifi Perez, Rafael Palmiero, Albert Pujols, Brian Roberts, Juan Rincon, John Rocker, Pudge Rodriguez, Sammy Sosa, Scott Schoenweiss, David Segui, Alex Sanchez, Gary Sheffield, Miguel Tejada, Julian Tavarez, Fernando Tatis, Maurice Vaughn, Jason Varitek, Ismael Valdez, Matt Williams, Kerry Wood.

But I’m glad someone finally exposed Roger Clemens for the testosterone-shooting roider that he is.

Maybe now these myopic baseball fans who want to string up and asterisk Barry Bonds as the lone gunman will now see that the entire sport is on roids and that it’s the era that needs exposing, not just one guy. I’ve already heard people criticizing the report for being too light on specific situations or not taking into account the people who slipped through the cracks. Hello?? The union prevented the players from talking! Way to go guys – continue to circle the wagons and drive the sport into the ground. Real baseball fans should see this as a positive and should thank Jose Canseco (a Hall of Famer in my eyes) for exposing the truth because if it weren’t for his book, nothing would have been done.

BTW – I heard that Canseco tried to get into the press conference where they revealed the report, but was turned away. C’mon – let the father see his baby! Now – I’m going to read the only Mitchell Report I care about.

Good Reading over at SVP Style on what should happen, why nothing will happen, and other random thoughts.

Ever since I saw this guy at that contrived World Cup of Baseball offseason tournament that MLB tried I knew we had to have him. Not for his talent per say (because I never actually saw him play) – but for his name. Fukudome. Has there ever been a more aesthetically pleasing name to the immature wise cracker? Not in this country. We’ve had to get by on the weird-but-strange names like God Shamgod and Craphonso Thorpe while all the other countries got all the awesome names like Kaka, Dean Windass, Dick Trickle, and Danny Shittu. Well no more!

NAGOYA, Japan — Japanese outfielder Kosuke Fukudome told the Chunichi Dragons he will not return next season, saying he wants to make a move to the major leagues.

Fukudome, who became a free agent last month, informed the Central League club of his decision Tuesday.

“I won’t be playing for a Japanese club next season, I’ll play in the majors,” Fukudome said. “I appreciate the fans who supported me for nine years. I hope that the fans continue to root for me when they see me playing in the United States.”

Fukudome is regarded as one of the best outfielders in Japanese professional baseball. The 30-year-old was a key member of the Japan team that won the inaugural World Baseball Classic in March 2006.

He had surgery on his right elbow in August and sat out the Japan Series, but has 192 homers and a .305 batting average over nine seasons with the Dragons, who won their first championship in 53 years on Nov. 2.

Fukudome has drawn interest from the Chicago Cubs, the San Diego Padres and the Chicago White Sox.

The Padres have made an offer to Fukudome, calling it “one of the two or three biggest offers” in team history.

It seems he’ll be playing for the Cubs which should prove awesome when the South Siders get a crack at them in interleague play. We know what they’re capable of when they get all liquored up.

BEST. NAME. EVER!!!!

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