October 7, 2007

There’s one thing no athlete can outrun: The Feds!

Yo mama's so ugly when she passes by a bathoom the toilet flushes.

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Why do athletes take steroids? Because they work. But admitting it doesn’t work - at least not with the World Anti-Doping Agency and especially in the european-regulated endeavors such as Cycling and Track and Field. But unlike disgraced Tour de France winner Floyd Landis who failed a test, 5-time Medal Winning Track and Field athlete Marion Jones passed everything cleanly and defended her clean record in the face of overwhelming circumstantial evidence. Until now.

For years, Marion Jones angrily denied she was a drug cheat, swearing she was clean and daring anyone to prove otherwise. Seven years after her triumphs at the 2000 Olympics, the three-time gold medalist has admitted in a recent letter to family and close friends that she used steroids before the Sydney Games, The Washington Post reported Thursday.

She’s scheduled to appear in U.S. District Court in White Plains, N.Y., on Friday to plead guilty to charges in connection with her steroid use, a federal law enforcement source told The Associated Press. The official spoke on condition of anonymity because the investigation is ongoing, and would not provide specific details about the plea.

As Pete Rose and Michael Vick found out, you can deny all you want to in the press, but when the feds come calling it’s time to sing, or you’ll be wearing the orange jumpsuit and cleaning highways for a long time. Kudos to Marion’s new-found moral core.

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