August 13, 2008

Bush: Terrorist Slapper or Ass Slapper?

Yo mama's so stupid, I saw her in the frozen food section with a fishing rod.

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Bush slaps Misty May assA cool article from my foreign affairs mancrush - Fareed Zakaria. He talks about what Bush got right, and surprisingly filled 4 web pages. Probably because he had to start with the littany of things he got wrong to begin a comparison:

Zakaria: What Bush Got Right | Newsweek Politics | Newsweek.com

A broad shift in America’s approach to the world is justified and overdue. Bush’s basic conception of a “global War on Terror,” to take but the most obvious example, has been poorly thought-through, badly implemented, and has produced many unintended costs that will linger for years if not decades. But blanket criticism of Bush misses an important reality. The administration that became the target of so much passion and anger—from Democrats, Republicans, independents, foreigners, Martians, everyone—is not quite the one in place today. The foreign policies that aroused the greatest anger and opposition were mostly pursued in Bush’s first term: the invasion of Iraq, the rejection of treaties, diplomacy and multilateralism. In the past few years, many of these policies have been modified, abandoned or reversed. This has happened without acknowledgment—which is partly what drives critics crazy—and it’s often been done surreptitiously. It doesn’t reflect a change of heart so much as an admission of failure; the old way simply wasn’t working. But for whatever reasons and through whichever path, the foreign policies in place now are more sensible, moderate and mainstream. In many cases the next president should follow rather than reverse them.

Consider as a symbol of this shift Bush’s appointment of the World Bank’s president. His first choice for the job was Paul Wolfowitz, an arch neoconservative with little background in economics. But by the time Wolfowitz was forced to resign and the post opened up again, Bush realized that he needed a less ideological choice, and he picked the highly qualified and respected Robert Zoellick. Where Dick Cheney was once the poster child for the administration, today policy is being run by Condoleezza Rice, Robert Gates, Stephen Hadley and Hank Paulson—all pragmatists. Change has not extended to all areas, and in many places it’s been too little, too late. But that there has been a shift to the center in many crucial areas of foreign policy is simply undeniable.

The most obvious case is Iraq. For many people—a clear majority of those polled—the decision to go to war is now seen as a mistake. But wherever one stands on that issue, it is overwhelmingly clear that the administration made a series of massive blunders in Iraq in 2003 and 2004. It went in with too few troops, dismantled Iraq’s Army, bureaucracy and state-owned factories, arrested tens of thousands of Iraqis, mistreated and tortured some of them, and used overwhelming military force against all perceived threats. The outcome? Chaos; an angry, dispossessed and armed Sunni community; a sullen and restless Shiite population; an insurgency; a jihadist terrorist movement, and spreading sectarian violence. In addition, foreign forces were destabilizing the country because both the invasion and the occupation were undertaken without first gaining support from neighboring Arab states or winning international legitimacy. The result was a perfect storm in international affairs, a failure that kept getting worse.

he goes on to explain how Bush moderated on Iraq by getting rid of Rummy and hiring someone who could think, engaged China, North Korea and Iran and the Israeli/Palestinian conflct in contrast to his earlier hardline stance, and even bettered Clinton by bettering our relationship with India. A good read, especially the part about how it relates to the next administration:

All this is not meant as a defense of George W. Bush. The administration made monumental errors in its first few years, ones that have cost the United States enormously. The shift in impressions about America’s intentions across important sections of the globe, the sense in much of the Islamic world that America is anti-Muslim, the vast and counterproductive apparatus of homeland security—visa restrictions, arrests and interrogations—are lasting legacies of the Bush administration. Its dysfunction and incompetence have left a trail of misery in countries like Iraq and Lebanon, which have been destabilized for decades. The embrace of torture and other extralegal methods has violated America’s noblest traditions and provided little in return.

And then there is the administration’s record outside of foreign policy. Bush 43 has surely been the most fiscally irresponsible president in American history, taking surpluses that equaled 2.5 percent of GDP and turning them into deficits that are 3 percent. This is a $4 trillion hit on the country’s balance sheet. On the central issue of energy policy—the greatest economic challenge and opportunity of our times—Bush has been utterly obstructionist, recycling the self-serving arguments of industry lobbyists. On the whole, Bush’s record remains one of failure and missed opportunities.

So why offer this corrective? Because we cannot go back to 2001. The next president will inherit the world as it is in 2009. He will have to examine the Bush administration’s policies as they stand in January 2009—not as they were in 2001 or 2002 or 2003—and decide how to accept, modify and alter them. There was a U.S. president who came into office convinced that everything his predecessor had done was feckless, stupid, ill-informed and venal. He rejected and tried to reverse everything that he could, almost as an article of faith. Before he had even examined the policies carefully, he knew that they had to be changed. The base of his party was delighted by his clarity and fighting spirit.

That president, of course, was George W. Bush. His decision to blindly repudiate anything associated with Bill Clinton is what got us into this mess in the first place. Let’s hope that the next president, no matter how much he despises Bush, will take a careful look at his administration’s policies, America’s interests, and the world beyond and do the right thing for the country and its future.

Bush Misty Mayespecially important considering that Putin looks like he continues to flex his neo-communist muscles. McCain has jumped all over this like a pig in slop (3am phone call slop), Obama is on vacation, and Bush apparently is a bit late to the party on his Russia strategy - trying to duck interviews from Bob Costas before his talking points were refined. And slapping volleyball players
Bush slaps Misty May ass

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November 20, 2007

Fake Blogs Rawk!!!

Yo mama's so ugly when she sits in the sand the cat tries to bury her.

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I’ve found a goldmine of humor - and it’s called Fake Blogs - or more accurately NewsGroper. It’s Stephen Colbert meets DailyKos almost. I was reading The Miami Sports Blog and found out that Miami Heat center Shaq had a blog … well, a fake blog - where I uncovered this gem about his recent divorce:

Shaunie, I am sorry that this had to happen. But when a woman tries to keep secrets from Shaq, she must pay the consequences. When you were hiding that cash in the garbage pails behind the pool, I thought it was just part of our kinky Sopranos role-playing. But it turns out that you were really hiding cash from me, and now Shaq is broke.

It’s not all your fault, Shaunie. It doesn’t help that Shaq only allowed you to address him as “#32.” It was probably wrong of me to demand that you dress as a Nubian Queen to all of our dinner parties. What probably put you over the top was when Shaq made you repeat “The Royal Penis is clean, your Highness” after every time we made oral love.

Had me ROLLING. But they have tons of other fake blogs there too! People like Hillary Clinton and Rudy Giuliani, Britney Spears, Vladimir Putin, Ann Coulter and Donald Trump. In fact MSNBC got in trouble, apparently, for taking these blogs seriously!:

IN a story that MSNBC.com ran last Friday on how the legal troubles of disgraced NFL star Michael Vick are dividing African-Americans, Web site editors apparently fell hook, line and sinker for a parody Web site that made up a quote from the Rev. Al Sharpton.

In the first version of the story that appeared on MSNBC.com, Sharpton was quoted as having written on his personal blog, “If the police caught Brett Favre (a white quarterback for the Green Bay Packers) running a dolphin-fighting ring out of his pool, where dolphins with spears attached to their foreheads fought each other, would they bust him? Of course not. They would get his autograph, complimenting him on tightly spiraled passes, then bet on one of his dolphins.”

You have to read the story to understand just how shitty a job this MSNBC reporter did. I mean there was some pretty obvious hyperbole in there. How fucked up an opinion must you have of Sharpton that you’d accept this as truth? That you can’t distill nonsense from sense. That you don’t notice the names of the other fake bloggers on the site including Vladimir Fucking Putin!?! (that’s his real middle name) So what does MSNBC call it in their retraction? A hoax. Hah! - Fake Al Sharpton had a response locked and loaded:

I can assure you, I’m no hoax. When I said that Brett Favre was probably fighting dolphins against each other to the death with swords crudely attached by duct tape, it obviously wasn’t real; it was a METAPHOR. First of all, the adhesive in the tape wouldn’t hold up in salt water, and also, how many backyard saline pools have you ever swam in?

Fake Blogs RULE!

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