November 17, 2007

0-9 Lives Here

Yo mama's so fat she uses a mattress for a tampon.

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Ricky “What urine test” Williams gets reinstated and put back on the team in the same week that rookie John Beck is put in as the starter. Now I’m confident … that we have a great chance to go 0-16. Cam Cameron has made so many mistakes this season (dumping Daunte AND trading for Trent Green, signing Joey Porter to play in a 4-3 defense for $20M, picking Lorenzo Booker in the 3rd round and not using him all season, …) it’s almost comical. The defense is in shambles, the passing game has shown a severe lack of talent or stability and now, by waiting for Cleo Lemon to completely fuck up a winnable game and by welcoming back Ricky Williams, we’ve finally added a third ring to this circus. The Sun Sentinel’s Dave Hyde seems to think that Cam is swallowing his pride:

That John Beck is starting Sunday in Philadelphia is welcome and overdue and says Cameron’s first two hopes at quarterback failed. He’s down to playing the rookie he carefully plotted never to play this year. This is a coach whose expertise is quarterbacks, too.

That Ricky Williams is invited back says the Dolphins still have a dependency problem on him as much as he does on marijuana. Cameron talked tough in the spring about winning with “character” players. He talked about judging people’s future actions by their past actions.

It sounded swell in theory. Only now it’s November, the Dolphins are 0-9, their top running back is hurt, they need every trading chip for the future and need a win even more than that.

Linebacker Joey Porter, another “character” guy, put it best and most honestly: “I don’t care who you get. If you get bin Laden and he could run the ball like Ricky, I’d do anything for a victory.”

I, on the other hand, think he’s in over his head, doesn’t know what he’s doing and is grasping at straws. If it was indeed his intention to not start Beck at all this year, a 26 year old graduate of BYU who spent his early-20s on a Mormon mission and one would think the maturity to lead a team that averages 5.2 yards per rush, then he’s either a bad judge of talent or coaching scared. Rookie Trent Edwards’ contribution in Buffalo proves that any imaginative OC could design an offense that can minimize the risks around a rooke QB.

If indeed this isn’t just a case of the rookie oops (and I’ll discount his career losing college head coaching record) then it proves once again that Wayne Huizenga, while providing unlimited resources to his credit, cannot form the correct organizational structure or hire accordingly to save his life. 4 head coaches in 3 seasons and they all suck. I hope I’m proven wrong next year.

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October 9, 2007

Dude, Just Pack It Up Already

Yo mama's so fat when she fell over she rocked herself asleep trying to get up again.

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When Dolphins new head coach Cam Cameron decided to trade a valuable 5th round conditional pick for Trent Green the season after he was knocked out for 8 games with a vicious concussion, many thought he was mad. When he decided to cut ties with Daunte Culpepper, himself recovering from coming back too soon on a surgically repaired knee - it smacked of nepotism. Even Jason Taylor said in an interview that he hoped Trent would become “scrambled eggs” after just one hit. Now it appears Taylor was spot on.

Green’s concussion was diagnosed as grade three, the most severe, and he’ll undergo further tests to determine his future. He has been ruled out of Sunday’s game at Cleveland, and Cameron declined to discuss the possibility the injury will force the 37-year-old Green to retire.

“I don’t think we really know the full extent, because there are some ongoing tests,” Cameron said. “Right now I just think there are too many unknowns.”

Culpepper, now with the Raiders, had his revenge last week sending the Fins to 0-4 after running for 3 TDs and throwing for 2 more. And while Cleo Lemon performed well in relief, his backup now is rookie John Beck - who only benefitted from Green’s mentoring for 3 months. Hindsight is 20/20 I guess.

As far as Trent Green goes, dude - if your wife hasn’t already told you, I will. RETIRE. You’re 37 and have been knocked out 2 seasons in a row with a severe concussion. Once you have one, the next one comes along a lot easier. Not to go Dr. Phil here but you’re shortening your life with each hit. And for who? For what? An 0-5 team? C’mon. Let it go. Take your wife to the Olympics next year. Go to the Grand Canyon. Coach High School ball. But this is not for you.

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