myopiclunacy.com

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Man, perhaps he could have waited a day or two for the Favre love-in to die down so he could get his proper due rather than being a footnote in the NFL Notebook:

Brett Favre’s retirement naturally overshadowed a bunch of other moves in the NFL on Tuesday, including one of his nemeses leaving the game.

The iconic Green Bay quarterback’s decision to stop playing after 17 seasons, an unprecedented three MVP awards and a slew of passing records sent the official retirement of Warren Sapp to the back burner.

Sapp’s 13-year NFL career officially ended when his retirement was posted on the Oakland Raiders’ Web site. Sapp said immediately after last season that he was through playing, but did not file the paperwork.

The posting on the team’s site was the first official word that the star defensive tackle was done.

In January, Sapp, 35, posted a two-word message on his Web site: “I’M DONE!” He had told teammates and coaches his plans after the season finale against San Diego.

Although a nasty personal disposition and questionable press relation skills, he was still one of the nastiest defenders to come from The U and in the hey day of the Tampa Defensive domination, was one of their big 3, along with John Lynch and Derrick Brooks. The quintessential 3-technique defensive tackle. His Raiders teams left a lot to be desired, but their defenses were nothing to sneeze at. Besides, Oakland is now the NFL’s arm pit, where good careers go to die.

QB Killa, Indeed.

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The 80’s were a wonderful time of growth for both the NFL and rap music. And like anyone who looks back on their time growing up, there are bound to be some embarrassing moments. With the Super Bowl 3 days away I thought this article on Terrible NFL Rap Songs was just the piece of overlooked analysis that can make a 4 hour pre-game show palatable.

Of course everyone knows about the Bears Super Bowl Shuffle video, but did you know that the Rams and 49ers also made videos? In fact the Rams video was clearly the best of this bunch:

LA Rams - Rammin’ It
Okay, when a bearded man in stretch pants sings, “I like to ram it as you can see, no one likes to ram it more than me,” you potentially leave yourself open to ridicule. The only thing missing in this video is a backdrop of two dudes 69ing.

Talk about your catchy tunes. I’m sure it’ll be stuck in my head and at the most inappropriate of times, I’ll start singing “Let’s Ram it. Weeee’re gonna Ram it. Let’s Ram it.” Of course, not lost in the double entendre humor is where Eric Dickerson says that his nickname is Dick. Now (no lie) people call him E.D. Oh, the humor just writes itself.

The Raiders’ video looked like the most polished of the bunch. I mean - when you can get Howie Long, Matt Millen, and Head Coach Tom Flores to rap in your video, you almost think that this was an official Team project! I also think there may have been a little Milli Vanilli action going on on all these videos as I really doubt that a bunch of football players, including Lester Hayes, could really rap at that speed without mistakes. They would have run out of film!

Notable for his non-appearance in the Dolphins video especially in clips of the Dolphins’ games was Dan Marino. I’m sure it had something to do with a likeness licensing deal. Also of note, Walter Payton’s dance part in the video had to be dubbed in later via green screen because he couldn’t make the original shoot.

Let’s Ram it!

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I’m floating these NFL theorem and formulas - see if you like them:

• Philly losing their third straight game = WIP callers wanting AJ Feeley to start
• Down 41 points at halftime = Always Leave Early from the stadium
• Ocho Cinco + a bad offensive line = nada y nada
• Addai + Vinnatieri = Losing Edge
• Brett Favre not passing Marino this year = Brett Favre sticking around for another season.
• 2 late hits on Sage Rosenfels = One slightly late hit on Mike Vick
• Damon Huard = System QB + damn good system
• Super Bowl curse = alive and well
• Meshawn + dropped open passes = a bad sign for your chances to win
• Starting a rookie QB against the Giants D in the wind = fuhgeddaboudit
• Trying to make something of a botched FG snap = trouble everytime
• A running back throwing into double coverage = bad things
• Michael Vick + effective passing from the pocket = Super Bowl contender
• 4 INTs + 2 pick 6s against the Raiders = a loss (yes - even THE Raiders)
• 1-6 Miami against 7-0 Chicago next week = tired 85 Bears vs Marino comparisons
• Najeh Davenport highlight = some other silly poop joke

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