April 9, 2008

Testing Keywords :)

Yo mama's so stupid she thought hamburger helper came with another person

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YouTube - Hilarious Runway Fall at Charleston Fashion Week

Video seen on Oddball on Countdown. Keywords seen on Lewis Black’s Root of All Evil

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October 26, 2007

BALCO Bonds The World’s Biggest Sports Scandal? Think Again!

Yo mama's so stupid she thought she needed a token to get on soul train

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The Times attempts to list the top 50 sporting scandals of all times and surprisingly enough Barry Bonds isn’t even in the top 10. Michel Vick not in the top 20. Perhaps a bit of English bias (plainly evident in this phrase: “Diego Maradona, the cheating swine”), but their number 1 dwarfs them in terms of real world significance.

Basil D Oliveira, 1968

The Cape Coloured cricketer, one of the most gifted players of his day, emigrated to England in 1960 because he was not allowed to play for his native South Africa on the grounds of race. In 1966, he was selected for England, being named one of Wisden’s five cricketers of the year in 1967. But controversy hit the following year when he made a match-winning score of 158 – and took a crucial wicket – at the Oval against Australia and yet was still left out of the winter tour of South Africa.

Political pressure not to include him had been put on the MCC by the South African Government, yet under massive public outcry the England selectors relented and called him up, at which point South Africa cancelled the tour. This was seen as the beginning of the sporting boycott of apartheid, yet it was also a tragedy that D’Oliveira, whose international career did not begin until he was 35, was not able to fulfil his immense talent. The treatment of him is cricket - and sport’s - greatest scandal

Sports as a catalyst for social change is nothing new as we know with the desegregation of pro sports in the 1950’s and Muhammad Ali’s draft rejection, but use as a tool in world politics? 1968 saw a lot of that, as well as the following years with various Olympic boycotts (No. 34 on the list).

The funniest entry by far was #23

Rosie Ruiz, 1980

Ruiz, a Cuban émigré, apparently won the Boston Marathon with a record time, until witnesses came forward saying that she had only joined the race in the last mile. “I got up with a lot of energy this morning,” was her explanation for why she had shaved 25 minutes off the time she ran in the New York Marathon six months earlier. Then it turned out she had taken the Subway for part of that race, too

Did she really think she could get away with that one? Really?

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October 7, 2007

There’s one thing no athlete can outrun: The Feds!

Yo mama's so big when she goes to the movie theatre she sits next to everybody.

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Why do athletes take steroids? Because they work. But admitting it doesn’t work - at least not with the World Anti-Doping Agency and especially in the european-regulated endeavors such as Cycling and Track and Field. But unlike disgraced Tour de France winner Floyd Landis who failed a test, 5-time Medal Winning Track and Field athlete Marion Jones passed everything cleanly and defended her clean record in the face of overwhelming circumstantial evidence. Until now.

For years, Marion Jones angrily denied she was a drug cheat, swearing she was clean and daring anyone to prove otherwise. Seven years after her triumphs at the 2000 Olympics, the three-time gold medalist has admitted in a recent letter to family and close friends that she used steroids before the Sydney Games, The Washington Post reported Thursday.

She’s scheduled to appear in U.S. District Court in White Plains, N.Y., on Friday to plead guilty to charges in connection with her steroid use, a federal law enforcement source told The Associated Press. The official spoke on condition of anonymity because the investigation is ongoing, and would not provide specific details about the plea.

As Pete Rose and Michael Vick found out, you can deny all you want to in the press, but when the feds come calling it’s time to sing, or you’ll be wearing the orange jumpsuit and cleaning highways for a long time. Kudos to Marion’s new-found moral core.

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October 30, 2006

NFL Math

Yo mama's so dumb she sat on TV & watched the couch

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I’m floating these NFL theorem and formulas - see if you like them:

  • Philly losing their third straight game = WIP callers wanting AJ Feeley to start
  • Down 41 points at halftime = Always Leave Early from the stadium
  • Ocho Cinco + a bad offensive line = nada y nada
  • Addai + Vinnatieri = Losing Edge
  • Brett Favre not passing Marino this year = Brett Favre sticking around for another season.
  • 2 late hits on Sage Rosenfels = One slightly late hit on Mike Vick
  • Damon Huard = System QB + damn good system
  • Super Bowl curse = alive and well
  • Meshawn + dropped open passes = a bad sign for your chances to win
  • Starting a rookie QB against the Giants D in the wind = fuhgeddaboudit
  • Trying to make something of a botched FG snap = trouble everytime
  • A running back throwing into double coverage = bad things
  • Michael Vick + effective passing from the pocket = Super Bowl contender
  • 4 INTs + 2 pick 6s against the Raiders = a loss (yes - even THE Raiders)
  • 1-6 Miami against 7-0 Chicago next week = tired 85 Bears vs Marino comparisons
  • Najeh Davenport highlight = some other silly poop joke
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