myopiclunacy.com

One of the benefits of being sick all weekend was getting to watch a whole slate of college, NFL, and european football as well as sneaknig 5-10 minutes of the WNBA’s decisive game 5. The NFL never disappoints – especially on opening weekend – the biggest gambling crapshoot of the year. 9 of the 14 road teams won. Should have been 10 if JP Losman weren’t such an arrogant idiot. Anyways – to the games!

Atlanta came right out of the blocks against Carolina and proved that they are a force to be reckoned with not only on offense but also on defense. Warrick Dunn seems to be running more confident with Ducket gone and despite all the offseason talk, Vick is looking more to make plays downfield – like the TD pass to Jenkins at halftime. Oh Carolina. Go send a masseuse to rub Steve Smith’s hammy – cuz you need him badly. Atlanta wins 20-6.

WHOA!! Where did the Ravens come from? Mac9 is the best QB they’ve had since the team was in Cleveland – probably since Kosar. And Ray Ray looks energized this year – he had a couple of nice de-cleating tackles. Chris Simms – living up to my expectations from when he was at Texas and couldn’t beat out Major Applewhite. I bet they’re sorry they didn’t keep Griese now. Baltimore wins 27-0.

Buffalo had this game. Takeo Spikes nearly decappitated Tom Brady on their first play and Buffalo was up 17-7, but the roaches that are the Pats came back to tie and JP Losman remembered he was JP Losman and got sacked for the game winning safety. Oooooooooooooooooooops. Buffalo loses 19-17

Trent Green got concussed and Damon Huard is no Trent Green. Or maybe it was Herm Edwards. Either way Cincy is back with Carson Palmer still one of the best QBs in the league. I guess Larry Johnson won’t be threatening Eric Dickerson’s record this season. Cincinnati wins 23-10.

So much for the Greatest Show on Turf. St Louis scored 6 field goals and Denver looked unimpressive. Leonard Little had a big game – so watch out for weaving cars this morning if you live in St. Louise. Jake Plummer is on the hot seat ans Denver loses 18-10.

Reggie Bush debuted with 141 rushing and receiving yards and some nice plays – pretty strong. K2 got on the board with his first NFL touchdown. Soldiers everywhere are cheering. So are Saints fans – they win 19-14.

One of the things that sucks about living in Miami is that we have 3 local teams. The Dolphins, Jets and Giants – thanks to all the New York transplants. So invariably all three teams will be on TV on Sunday afternoon, no matter if it’s a dog of a game like this one. But the Jets actually looked decent. Pennington had 300 yards and 2 TDs and even Vince Young got to play a little. I can see the steam rising from beneath Billy Volek’s helmet. Jets win 23-16.

Philly is back with a vengeance this season. Donte Stallworth looks like a worthy replacement for TO, McNabb had big numbers, and the defense got after David Carr. But who doesn’t? I heard he doesn’t want to go to the food store because he’s afraid of being sacked there too. Iggles win 24-10.

Mister stat sheet Shaun Alexander and the powerful Seattle Seahawks beat the powerful Mike Martz offense of the Lions 3 field goals to 2. What a joke.

How about Rex Grossman and my man from the U Devin Hester. So much for Brian Griese’s chance to start, huh? Then again – it WAS the Packers. Bears win 26-0 – Brett’s first shutout in Lambeau. Brett – give it up.

Dallas looked great early. TO was catching balls all over the place. Then Dallas seemingly turned it off and Jacksonville took over. And Drew Bledsoe started throwing horrible passes as he is wont to do. Lord Byron and Fred Taylor show up late as Dallas loses 24-17

In the battle of Canes backs, Edgerrin James beat Frank Gore. Vernon Davis looks like a horse, and Alex Smith seems to be progressing (as predicted) but the Kurt Warner to Larry Fitzgerald express could not be derailed. 9ers lose 34-27.

The battle of the brothers – Peyton vs Eli. Eli looked horrible early, but picked it up. The Colts didn’t look impressive, but did what they had to win. Let’s see what happens when they have to play a 3-4 defense like Jacksonville. Indy wins 26-21.

Pittsburgh showed why they’re World Champs. No Big Ben, No Problem. Daunte was pretty bad, but he’ll get better. He better get better! I hate Joey Porter. Can’t wait until someone adjusts his attitude – without involving bullets. Miami loses 28-17.

Tonight it’s Minnesota vs Washington and San Diego vs Oakland. Brad Johnson takes on the team that gave up on him, and the battle of the horrible management teams – Davis vs Spanos. And to think – these coaches faced each other all the way back in 1990!

And In College Football…

I guess Penn State and Texas suck again. Chuck Amato – you’d better dust off that resume. Same for Coker if he loses to Loserville. Ol’ Ball Coach gets handed his first shutout since his days coaching Duke. Temple needs to end their football program NOW. Nice to see Nebraska and Florida beating up on the Little Sisters of the Poor U.

And in true Buckeye tradition, the rouges in Columbus took to the streets and went Thessaloniki on downtown. I hear lighting a couch on fire is just behind bowling as a recreation. I guess there’s one thing left to do – find out who Jim Tressel REALLY voted for on Sunday.

This week coming up it’s Miami vs Louisville, LSU at Auburn, UF vs Tennessee, Nebraska vs USC, OU vs U of O, and Michigan vs Notre Dame. Hail, Hail to the Victors!

In Other News…

Liverpool get blasted by Everton as American keeper Tim Howard keeps the clean sheet. Friedel did the same, but against lesser competition. And B McB scores the winner for Fulham. Let’s go Reyna and Beasley today! And Champions League on Tuesday/Wednesday!!

Tony Stewart’s out of NASCAR’s Chase for the Championships. Karma works, baby.

Schumy (Michael Schumacher) is retiring from F1 at the end of the season. Finally – someone else can win. I’m sure Qalbi is upset tho.

Nice of Roger Federer to let Roddick get a set against him before putting him away at the US Open. Tiger was at the match – no doubt checking out his competiton for greatest athlete of the decade. Athlete? Sharapova screamed in her second major – and nearly topples the prize. You knew she’d win when she beat Mauresmo. And 49 year old Martina Navratilova won her 59th Grand Slam title before retiring again. She won mixed doubles.

The Detroit Shock won the WNBA title. Coach Bill Laimbeer now has 2 women’s rings to match his 2 mens rings. And Dominique Wilkins FINALLY gets into the basketball hall of fame. He was one of the best Celtics ever )

---

Popularity: unranked [?]