Yo mama's so fat she has to buy two airline tickets.
So Steve McClaren, given a second chance after Israel’s defeat of Russia, decided to shake things up a bit for their crucial game at Wembley to get them into the Euro 2008 tournament next summer. And what did he do? He eschewed the experience of veterans like David Beckham and David James for newcomer Scott Carson and winger Shaun Wright-Phillips. He then decided to play a 4-5-1 formation with only Peter Crouch up front. After 14 minutes England were down 2-0 thanks to a horrendous blunder by Carson and poor defending. Needless to say Mac’s strategy backfired on him.
On a night when a point would do for England, their first half showing was that of a side who were intent on getting their manager sacked, with their so-called ‘world class performers’ such as Steven Gerrard and Frank Lampard looking more like non-league players having an off-day.
Indeed, it was not until the chief marketing icon of the aforementioned and much lambasted competition made his belated entry at half-time that England began to rally and David Beckham was the only player who deserved better than this embarrassing demise.
Those who have written that this brilliant footballer is merely a walking advertisement in a generation of plastic celebrities fail to appreciate just what he has brought to the English game in the last decade. His mere presence lifted the crowd and his energy and delivery on the right flank was of a quality McClaren’s first pick, Shaun Wright-Phillips, can only produce on a PlayStation game.
Beckham’s pinpoint pass to set-up Crouch for the equaliser that should have sealed England’s qualification was a touch of pure class and it was a shame for the LA Galaxy star that the rest of his team mates were not good enough to capitalise on his enthusiasm and brilliance.
This was Becks’ 99th international cap and as he took a bow to all four corners of Wembley at the end, he knew it would probably be his last. England will not be lucky enough to see his like again for some time and the FA should put on a game that ensures he collects the century.
If only the same tribute could be paid to McClaren, whose decision to change his goalkeeper and stick Scott Carson between the sticks for his competitive debut, not to mention his shock move to pick Wright-Phillips ahead of Beckham, ensuring this would be his final game as England coach unless he got the result he needed.
Some argue that the 4-5-1 formation was unfamiliar to the players who usually play a 4-4-2 in club football. Arsene Wenger suggested the 4-5-1 formation but with Beckham instead of Wright-Phillips.
Arsene Wenger, interviewed prior to the 3-2 loss to Croatia, suggested that Stevie boy play 4-5-1 just as he did but with David Beckham on the wing rather than Shaun Wright Philips. Looking solely at Beckham’s predictable blood-and-guts effort and his beautiful cross for Crouch’s goal you’d have a minor hindsight argument to make.
But, more importantly, it made sense. The pitch was always going to be a pile of crap with the weather coming and the mud would mean that England wouldn’t be able to pass it on the ground easily, or dribble it effectively (at least for England’s somewhat technically inept players) which means - all together now - a reliance on high/long passes and set pieces. Hmm, if only there was a player in the squad who was still among the best in the world at said skill.
So we’re left to wonder, what if Beckham - fueled by being given the chance to save his country yet again - had been able to supply crosses to Peter Crouch all game long? What odds that McClaren changed his team just to stick it to Wenger and avoid anyone say he copied him?
Hindsight is a beautiful thing, but so is not being a cocky idiot.
Playing the single striker was music to the Croatians though. On the way out the door, their manager let the English press know that England needed to look deeper than just the formation.
Croatia boss Slaven Bilic claimed England had lost to a better team tonight as a 3-2 defeat at Wembley eliminated Steve McClaren’s side from Euro 2008.
Bilic believes the pressure got to the England players and insisted McClaren’s tactics played right into his hands.
‘We didn’t feel that kind of negative pressure,’ he told Sky Sports News.
‘It’s a bit hard, although they are world-class players and should cope with it, it is hard to cope with that kind of negative pressure.’
Bilic admitted he was overjoyed when he discovered McClaren was playing just Crouch in attack - to the point where he was happy for an impotent England to have the ball.
‘We let their two centre-halves take the ball,’ he said.
‘Of course Crouch is a great player but he is not that quick.
‘It is much easier to play against a team with just one up front.’
Bilic added: ‘Wake up. You didn’t lose the game tonight because of the tactics.
‘We are simply a better team. I admire your team and your players but my team is a much better team.’
The FA have an emergency meeting set up for the morning where it’s expected that McClaren, who has refused to resign, will be given his walking papers. Meanwhile and more long-term, there have been calls from all over for the FA to address the state of the game from all levels, from the youth level all the way up. And more than just the xenophobic idea of removing foreign players from the Premiership. Perhaps missing out on this prestigious and lucrative tournament (estimated GBP1,000,000 economic impact for missing) is in fact the wake up call that England will need to ensure that World Cup 2010 sees the best team that England can muster. Perhaps led by a certain Special One?
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