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September 18, 2009

Eyewitless News

Filed under: Hardly Newsworthy, Humor — Tags: , — webadmin @ 11:15 am


 

Toddler buys earthmover in online auction

A New Zealand mom made some online bids on toys before napping. Then her 3-year-old daughter took over and bought a bigger plaything than expected — a huge earth-moving digger for a cool $12,300. Pipi Quinlan made the winning 20,000 New Zealand dollar ($12,300) bid on the Kobelco digger with a few mouse clicks at the auction site TradeMe while her parents slept, the Rodney Times newspaper reported in northern New Zealand. “The first I knew about it was when I came down and opened up the computer,” said Pipi’s mother, Sarah Quinlan. “I saw an e-mail from TradeMe saying I had won an auction and another e-mail from the seller saying something like `I think you’ll love this digger,’” she was quoted as saying in the paper. Quinlan said she had made auction bids on several toy sets and assumed she had bought a toy digger. “It wasn’t until I went back and reread the e-mails that I saw $20,000 — and got the shock of my life.” She immediately called the auction site and the seller to explain what happened. TradeMe reimbursed the seller’s costs for the auction and the digger was relisted.

Apparently drunk man run over by own truck

TOBYHANNA – A man trying to use the gate keypad at A Pocono Country Place apparently was so intoxicated he fell out of his pickup truck, which then rolled over his leg. When Police responded, they found Raymond Vangeldren, 52, on the ground, and the truck some distance away in a group of trees. Vangeldren was run over by a rear tire and not seriously hurt. He was taken to Pocono Medical Center where he agreed to undergo a blood test. Charges of DUI are pending results of the test.

Hearse driver stops at bar, keeps dead man’s family waiting

Bogota, May 26 (EFE) A dead man’s family had to wait for hours at a cemetery in Colombia, as the hearse driver went to have a few beers, leaving the vehicle carrying the corpse outside a motel. Relatives of Tito Vasquez, who died Saturday, as well as dozens of friends, waited for several hours Sunday at the Campos de Cristo cemetery in suburban Bogota for the hearse to arrive so that they could bury him. The body originally had been picked up by a hearse so that it could be taken to the funeral home to be embalmed and prepared for burial, and after that it was placed in the establishment’s viewing room, where friends and relatives paid their last respects. “But neither Tito nor the vehicle nor the conductor arrived at the cemetery” for the burial, the daily El Tiempo reported. Vasquez had no enemies during his life, his relatives said while they waited at the cemetery, and they could not understand why his body was not being delivered for the funeral. In the face of the lack of an adequate answer from the funeral home – which apparently was just as mystified as to what had happened to the body – some of the relatives reported the body missing. Police reported Sunday night that the Vasquez’s body was found in the hearse in the parking lot of a motel in Bogota’s San Bernardo neighbourhood. The hearse driver, it seems, had parked the hearse – body and all – there while he went in to El Imperio to have a few beers. “Still, nobody knows what the conditions were under which the body was found or what will happen to the driver, and the indemnity that the (funeral home) will pay for the damage done to the family of the deceased,” the Bogota daily said. The burial was later planned for Monday.

Powerball Jackpot Winner In South Dakota – Omaha News Story – KETV Omaha

SIOUX FALLS, S.D. — The winning Powerball jackpot ticket worth $232 million sold in South Dakota has yet to come forward. State lottery officials plan to hold a news conference Thursday morning in Pierre to offer details. Out of the millions of tickets sold for Wednesday night’s drawing, only one matched all six winning numbers: five, six, twelve, 16 and 21. The Powerball was seven. A dozen players came close to the big money by matching five of the six winning numbers. Each of those tickets is worth at least $200,000 dollars. They were sold in Colorado, Florida, Indiana, Minnesota, North Carolina, Pennsylvania, South Carolina and Wisconsin. Powerball is played in 30 states, Washington, D.C. and the U.S. Virgin Islands.

Nicotine fit: Police say cigarette bandit wore Bud Light carton on his head as disguise — baltimoresun.com

LINCOLN, Neb. (AP) — Police in Nebraska are looking a man who stole cigarettes while disguising himself with a beer carton on his head. Lincoln police Capt. Bob Kawamoto said the man walked into a Kwik Shop convenience store before dawn Monday wearing an empty Bud Light box on his head as a mask. Kawamoto said the man also had wrapped something around one of his hands, suggesting he was armed. But the man never showed a weapon. Police said the bandit left with nine packs of smokes valued at nearly $50. Police spokeswoman Katie Flood said Tuesday morning that the robbery was captured on video. She said the man also dropped the empty 12-pack box as he fled, and it will be checked for fingerprints.

Nearly 200 prisoners to bicycle across France – Collegenews.

Next month, almost 200 men will bicycling across France to promote effort and teamwork. Sure, It seems like a great idea. But did I mention these men are prisoners? Before jumping to conclusions, keep in mind that the convicts will all be under the supervision of guards who are also participating in the prisoners’ first Tour de France. Participants hoping to snag an easy getaway by outracing the pack should rethink their strategies as authorities say “breakaway sprints” are not permitted. According to Reuters, the 196 prisoners will be cycling along with 124 guards and prison sports instructors. No rankings will be administered as the idea of the Tour de France is for prisoners to withhold strong teamwork ethics. One 48-year-old inmate Daniel, whose last name was not given, describes the upcoming event as an escape for him and the other prisoners saying to Reuters that was “a chance to break away from the daily reality of prison” that he endures in Nantes, France.

Missing Juice Box Leads Man To Dial 911 – Portland News Story – KPTV Portland

HILLSBORO, Ore. — A man who called 911 to complain that McDonalds left a juice box out of his drive-through order was arrested Monday. Raibin Osman appeared before a Washington County judge Tuesday on a charge of misusing emergency services. He said he called emergency dispatchers after the drive-through employee wouldnt come back to the window to give him the juice box.
“We ordered some food and we went home and our order wasnt in there,” Osman said in the 911 call. “And my little brother is crying for his orange juice and stuff.” Osmans father, Raof, said the 911 call was an innocent mistake and that it escalated when the McDonalds employee laughed at the poor English of his son-in-law. He said his son dialed 911 in hopes of having deputies help him get the food. “We came back with our receipt and said, Hey, can we have our order? We paid for it,” Osman told the emergency dispatcher in the 911 call. “And she was like, Oh, no, I cant do anything about it. And she was laughing at my brother-in-law because he ordered the food and couldnt speak English right.” Meanwhile, the McDonalds employee also called 911 after feeling threatened by the men. “I show them that everything was correct and they got mad and told me to give them more food,” the employee said in the 911 call. “And I told them, I cant give any free food away.” When deputies arrived, Raibin Osman admitted it was not an emergency call but said he didnt know what number to use, according to the sheriffs office.

Politician’s Novel Idea for Mexican Tourism – Statue of Swine Flu Survivor – NYTimes.com

MEXICO CITY — Édgar Hernández, the Mexican kindergartner who is the first person known to have contracted the swine flu now circling the globe, may soon have a statue erected in his honor in the mountain village where he lives. Gov. Fidel Herrera of the coastal state of Veracruz said the statue of Édgar, 5, could help attract tourists to La Gloria, a poor village where hundreds of residents came down with mysterious flulike symptoms beginning in late winter, in what experts say may have been the beginning of the spread of the new influenza strain. As of Monday, the World Health Organization had tabulated 12,515 confirmed cases of swine flu, with 91 deaths.

The Mexican government has been pushing the view that the flu strain originated elsewhere and was brought to Mexico, which epidemiologists say remains a possibility. Mr. Herrera, an eccentric politician from the opposition Revolutionary Institutional Party, agrees. He considers Édgar to be not “Patient Zero,” the source of a global outbreak, but rather the first person in the world known to have survived the virus. In an interview with local reporters on Sunday, the governor likened the statue, which might be made of concrete or bronze, to the Manneken Pis in Brussels, the sculpture of a little boy peeing in a fountain. Édgar, a personable boy who wears his hair slicked back with gel, suffered flulike symptoms in early March but recovered after what his mother described as a few listless days home in bed.

AFP: Jogger runs mile with rabid fox locked to arm

LOS ANGELES (AFP) – A woman jogger ran for a mile with a rabid fox clamped to her arm before locking the animal in the trunk of her car and racing to hospital for treatment, police said Thursday. Michelle Felicetta was out running on a trail at the base of Granite Mountain near Prescott, northern Arizona on Monday when she came face-to-face with the fox in a clearing, Yavapai County Sheriff’s Office said. The woman attempted to back away from the animal but as she did so the fox lunged and sunk its teeth into her feet. After grabbing the animal by the neck the fox bit Felicetta on the arm and would not release his grip. The quick-thinking jogger realized she would need to keep the animal for testing so ran back to her car where she managed to prise its jaws open before throwing it in the trunk and driving to hospital. The fox also bit an animal control officer who attempted to remove it from Felicetta’s car. Both Felicetta and the animal officer will have to now undergo a series of vaccinations for treatment. “This fox made eye contact with me and started walking towards me,” Felicetta later told KPHO local television. “That’s when I knew something was really wrong.”

Deseret News | ‘Musical’ switched for ‘Sex’ in Megaplex mix-up

SOUTH JORDAN – Some Utahns attending the weekend opening of Disney’s biggest movie of the year were exposed to a little more than they were expecting. Friday night, managers at the Megaplex Theatre at the District, 11400 South Bangerter Highway, switched one of the showings of “High School Musical 3: Senior Year” to a larger auditorium to accommodate more people. They forgot, however, to switch the movie that had previously been scheduled for the room. So rather than the family-friendly, G-rated “High School Musical 3,” the beginning of the very nonfamily-friendly R-rated “Sex Drive” came on the screen. The opening minutes of the movie include nudity.

“I could not carry my little children out before they were exposed to extremely vulgar and sexually explicit material,” one parent complained in an e-mail to the Deseret News. The film was stopped as soon as the mistake was realized. It was not known Tuesday how long the movie ran until it was turned off. Megaplex spokesman Jeff Whipple said “Sex Drive” was only on the screen briefly.

Theater managers apologized to the audience and gave everyone free movie passes and concession vouchers. For future movies. Whipple said a policy of secondary confirmation and personal supervision by a theater manager will be required before a movie is shown. The District Theatre was the 10th busiest in the nation for “High School Musical 3″ ticket sales, Whipple said.

Naked Japan major nabbed with women’s underwear | Oddly Enough | Reuters

TOKYO (Reuters) – A male Japanese air force major caught naked while shopping for women’s underwear has been suspended from his duties for 10 days, a spokeswoman at his base said on Friday. The man, on his way home from a late-night farewell party for a colleague in early September, stripped off his clothes behind a convenience store before going in and buying panties and pantyhose. “He had just his wallet and his shoes on him,” said the spokeswoman from the Matsushima air base in Miyagi, northern Japan. “He thought it would be funny if he went into the store stark naked, that it would surprise people.” There was no one else in the store but the store clerk, who called the police shortly after the man left the store. Papers were filed against him on suspicion of indecent exposure. The incident follows a series of scandals for Japan’s military. The air force’s top general was sacked last week for saying Japan was not an aggressor in World War Two, angering China and South Korea where bitter memories remain over Tokyo’s past military aggression.

Woman Killed By Husband’s Coffin In Hearse On Way To His Funeral – CityNews

A woman in the Brazilian state of Rio Grande do Sul has been killed in a tragic accident. But it wasn’t a car that struck down the 67-year-old. It was a coffin – carrying the remains of her husband. Marciana Barcelos was in the front passenger seat of a hearse on her way to her spouse’s funeral when the vehicle suddenly came to a screeching halt in a traffic mishap, hurling the coffin at high speeds into the back of her neck. It struck her with such force that the blow was instantly fatal. Barcelos was on her way to bury her 76-year-old husband, who had died on Sunday from a heart attack while dancing at a party. The driver of the hearse and the victim’s son suffered only minor injuries. There’s no word on whether the funeral took place, but now a family already mired in terrible tragedy will be planning a second one.

Nebraska fears rush to drop off kids before haven law change – CNN.com

OMAHA, Nebraska (CNN) — Nebraska officials said they’re concerned about an apparent rush by parents to drop their teenage children off at hospitals before lawmakers change the state’s troubled “safe haven” law. The latest cases came the day before the state Legislature kicked off a special session to add an age limit to the law. On Thursday, a boy, 14, and his 17-year-old sister were dropped off at an Omaha hospital; the girl ran away from the hospital, officials said. A 5-year-old boy was left by his mother at a different hospital, officials said. The day before, a father flew in from Miami, Florida, to leave his teenage son at a hospital, officials said. “Please don’t bring your teenager to Nebraska,” Gov. Dave Heineman said. “Think of what you are saying. You are saying you no longer support them. You no longer love them.”

Nebraska’s safe haven law was intended to allow parents to hand over an infant anonymously to a hospital without being prosecuted. Of the 34 children who have been dropped off at hospitals, officials said, not one has been an infant. All but six have been older than 10, according to a Nebraska Department of Health and Human Services analysis. State officials said that because of legislative procedures, it will take at least a week to change the language of the safe haven law, creating a window where more parents could try to take advantage of the loophole in the statute. “We are ready and prepared that that situation occurs,” said Todd Landry of the Nebraska Department of Health and Human Services. “We want people to understand that this is not the right way of getting the service for your child, your teenager or your family.”

Karaoke rage. – By Brian Raftery – Slate Magazine

Last November, an inebriated 24-year-old with the woefully apt name of Kyle Drinkwine was found by police in the back of a Wisconsin alley, his hands covered in blood. According to testimony compiled by the Smoking Gun, Drinkwine had spent the evening unwinding at Emma’s Bar, a local watering hole that was hosting a karaoke night. Shortly after performing an Eminem song, he allegedly became so enraged by another patron’s version of “Holy Diver” – the 1983 anthem by heavy-metal patriarch Ronnie James Dio – that he assaulted the singer and his friend and fled when police arrived. “This had started over one’s ability to sing karaoke,” notes the arrest report, which reads like a Mike Judge novella. Drinkwine’s sad, stupid plight wasn’t an isolated incident: In August 2007, a Seattle man was assaulted onstage during a karaoke rendition of Coldplay’s “Yellow,” while last December, a San Diego man encored his karaoke set by walking toward the crowd and attacking an audience member. And in Asia, there’s been a string of karaoke-bar stabbings and shootings, including a horrific incident in Bangkok in which eight amateur singers were murdered by their neighbor, reportedly due in part to his hatred of John Denver’s “Country Roads.”

AFP: Obese Canada inmate released because Big House too small

OTTAWA (AFP) – A morbidly obese Canadian inmate has been released months ahead of schedule because his prison was not adequately suited to hold a man of his girth, a parole board said Thursday. Michel “Big Mike” Lapointe, 37, had pleaded guilty to drug trafficking in February and in May was sentenced to five years in prison, less 20 months served awaiting trial. But a judge later reduced his sentence because of hardships the 430-pound (195-kilogram) man claimed to have endured in a prison designed for smaller criminals. This week, the Quebec Parole Board granted him early parole, saying in its decision he had been jailed for 25 months under “difficult conditions due to his health.” The parole board also noted that two halfway houses — residences designed to help convicts transition from jail back into society — had refused to take him in, and that he was well-behaved during his incarceration. Lapointe, a former accountant for a drug-trafficking ring, would not normally have been eligible for parole until February 2009, but according to his lawyer Clemente Monterosso, his health was deteriorating. His jail cell bed was a foot (25 centimeters) narrower than his body and he could not even sit on a chair, Monterosso said in May. “Finally it`s over,” Lapointe told the daily Journal de Montreal on Wednesday. “I want a normal life. I made some mistakes and I paid for them.” “Now, I will finally have a decent bed and a chair I can sit on,” he said.

Sexually-charged `cougar cruise` on deck for Carnival ship – Cruise Log – USATODAY.com

First a cruise for swingers. Now a voyage for . . . cougars. That`s right, a bit of naughtiness will be hitting the high seas in December as what`s billed as the first “cougar cruise” sets sail out of San Diego. Los Gatos, Calif.-based Singles Travel Company and singles group The Society of Single Professionals are co-sponsoring the three-night escapade aboard a Carnival ship, which is aimed at older woman who pursue younger men — or “cougars,” in contemporary lingo. The International Cougar Cruise, as it`s being called, kicks off Dec. 4 on the Carnival Elation and will include a single stop in Ensenada, Mexico. Prices begin at $125 per person, based on double occupancy and not including port charges and government fees. Singles Travel Company promises three days of singles meet-ups, dancing and “partying” that draws its inspiration from Valerie Gibson`s 2001 book Cougar: A Guide for Older Women Dating Younger Men — a pitch that`s filled with innuendo. As the firm notes in a press release, a cougar “knows exactly what she wants,” the book says, and “what she doesn`t want is children, cohabitation or commitment.” Singles Travel Company executive director Ann Thomas notes 2009 is “the year of the cougar,” according to a recent story in Newsweek. The term is going ever more mainstream with TV shows like Courteney Cox`s soon-to-debut Cougar Town on ABC and the Bachelor-like reality dating show The Cougar. The voyage will be headlined by Miss Cougar America 2009, Gloria Navarro, crowned at the recent National Single Cougars Convention in Palo Alto, Calif.

Weener Kleener Soap Ring (SFW) – Cleaner – Gizmodo

Thief Recognized While Applying for Job in Same Store He Robbed – International News | FOXNews.com

Justice was not blind for one would-be robber. A British man interviewing for a job at a grocery store was charged with theft after the store`s manager recognized him as the same shoplifter from a previous incident at the store, The Telegraph reported. Simon Holden, 22, applied to be a shelf stacker at a grocery store in Lancashire, Great Britain. While Holden was interviewing, the store`s manager recognized his face. The store`s manager reportedly then checked CCTV footage from earlier in the week and recognized Holden – who was stealing four boxes of lager beer from the same store. When confronted during the interview, Holden fled – but not before stealing two more boxes of beer as he ran through the front door, The Telegraph reported. British police then found Holden to be in breach of a suspended jail term for stealing a laptop during a house burglary. Holden admitted theft and an unrelated offense of resisting arrest.

Teacher accused of punching student, police say – CNN.com

An elementary school teacher was arrested for punching an 8-year-old student in the face this month, Fort Lauderdale police said Tuesday. David Adam Grant is accused of striking an 8-year-old student at a Fort Lauderdale, Florida, school. David Adam Grant, 36, an art teacher at Sunland Elementary School, turned himself in to police Tuesday in connection with the November 5 incident, authorities said in a written statement. Police responded to a report of battery at the school, and “preliminary investigations revealed that an 8-year-old student … had been battered.” Authorities allege that Grant “hit the 8-year-old student around his left eye with a loosely closed fist, causing a bruise over his right eye,” according to the police statement. Grant surrendered to police after detectives contacted him, the statement said. He faces child abuse charges. The incident remains under investigation, authorities said.

Cops: Spurned roommate urinates on dog – Criminal weirdness- msnbc.com

MANITOWOC, Wis. – A 36-year-old man took revenge on his roommate after she refused to have sex with him by allegedly urinating on her dog, police said. Police said the man was arrested early Thursday morning on tentative charges of criminal damage to property and disorderly conduct related to domestic violence. According to police reports, the man was drunk when he argued with the woman. After she resisted his advances the man went to the basement where he urinated on her dog and the floor. Police said the argument continued, and when the woman`s sister stood up in defense the man pushed her into a wall. He then allegedly stormed from the home and punched out a window.

She`s the 105-year-old virgin | World Breaking News | News.com.au

A BRITISH virgin who celebrated her 105th birthday this week said the secret to long life was celibacy, adding that she imagined sex was a “lot of hassle”. Clara Meadmore, who marked her birthday with a drop of wine at the Perran Bay nursing home in Cornwall, south-west England, also received a card from Queen Elizabeth II. “People have asked me whether I am a homosexual and the answer is no,” Ms Meadmore said. “I have just never been interested in sex. “I imagine there is a lot of hassle involved and I have always been busy doing other things.” Born in Glasgow, Scotland, in 1903, Meadmore lived in Canada and New Zealand as a child before returning to Britain in her 20s to work as a secretary and housekeeper. She served with the army in Egypt during World War II, and subsequently lived in London and New Zealand before retiring 40 years ago in Cornwall.

Stick Inducted Into Toy Hall of Fame – Fresh Greens (usnews.com)

It`s a wand, a snowman`s arm, a drawing tool for sand, or, if you`re an antagonistic little brother, a sword. Either way, it`s a simple toy for complex imaginations. CNN tells us that the ecofriendliest toy of all – the simple stick – has earned a place of honor in the National Toy Hall of Fame. The stick joins such favorites as Mr. Potato Head, the kite and Atari as a favorite toy of all time for children (and canines). “It`s very open-ended, all-natural, the perfect price — there aren`t any rules or instructions for its use,” said Christopher Bensch, the museum`s curator of collections. I`m willing to bet that a greener toy doesn`t exist. I wonder, though – how many kids still play with sticks? My vote for the next Toy Hall of Fame inductee is another green pick – the leftover washing machine box. What`s yours?

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May 26, 2009

Best People In The World

Filed under: Hardly Newsworthy, Humor — Tags: , — webadmin @ 8:15 pm


 

YouTube – Dance Off USF vs Uconn 2009 Big East Baseball Tournament as seen on PTI.

As seen on PTI. The 2009 Dance off between USF and UCONN which took place at bright house field May 21st, 2009. Filmed by the staff at Bright House Field. This dance off was a result of the two teams waiting though a 5 hour rain delay. This is the most complete video of the of the event and is largely un-editied.


video

Tennessee man fathers 21 kids – WTOL.com, Toledo’s News Leader, News 11 |

TENNESEE (CBS) – A Tennessee man who’s fathered more than 20 kids says he can’t pay all their mother’s child support. 29-year-old Desmond Hatchett works a minimum wage job. His children range in age from newborn to 11. They were born to at least 11 different women. “I had four kids in the same year. Twice,” said Hatchett. When his paycheck is split up, some get less than $2.00 in child support. “The children can’t be supported all by Desmond, so the state of Tennessee has had to step in,” Hatchett’s attorney Keith Pope said. The state says it can’t stop him from having more kids, but are working out how to pay the mothers.

Police: Shoplifting aunt used baby as weapon

MEMPHIS, TN (WMC-TV) – Memphis police are searching for a shoplifting suspect who used a tiny baby as a weapon against a security guard during an escape attempt Wednesday. The incident happened early Wednesday afternoon at Wal-Mart on Austin Peay in Raleigh, where police say a woman was caught shoplifting. While attempting to escape, the woman hurled her two-month old nephew at a security guard. The infant, seated in a carrier, fell onto the concrete floor. The suspect then threw the baby at a good samaritan who tried to tend to the infant. The suspect ran from the store and escaped in a blue Ford Escort, abandoning the baby and his mother, who was in the women’s restroom during the incident. The child’s mother tended to him as the infant was treated in the back of an ambulance. Child abuse investigators are working with the infant’s family to locate the suspect. Officials said the baby will be okay. Neither the loss prevention officer nor the good samaritan were seriously injured. All requests for comment from Wal-Mart management were referred to the retailer’s corporate office.

Passer-By Pushes Man Contemplating Suicide Off Bridge in China

BEIJING — Chen Fuchao, a man heavily in debt, had been contemplating suicide on a bridge in southern China for hours when a passer-by came up, shook his hand — and pushed him off the ledge. Chen fell 26 feet onto a partially inflated emergency air cushion laid out by authorities and survived, suffering spine and elbow injuries, the official Xinhua News Agency said Saturday. The passer-by, 66-year-old Lai Jiansheng, had been fed up with what he called Chen’s “selfish activity,” Xinhua said. Traffic around the Haizhu bridge in the city of Guangzhou had been backed up for five hours and police had cordoned off the area. “I pushed him off because jumpers like Chen are very selfish. Their action violates a lot of public interest,” Lai was quoted as saying by Xinhua. “They do not really dare to kill themselves. Instead, they just want to raise the relevant government authorities’ attention to their appeals.” Xinhua said Lai was “taken away by police” but did not elaborate. A police officer who answered the telephone Saturday at a station close to the bridge confirmed the incident and said it was under investigation. He refused to give any other details and hung up.

Houstonian gets 2 years for bribing IRS — with pizza | News Bizarre | Chron.com – Houston Chronicle

Moral of this story: Don’t try to bribe the IRS with pizza, officials aren’t that hungry. Ramesh G. Khilnani, 51, a native of India and a Houston-area resident, learned that lesson to the tune of the two-year prison sentence he received from a federal judge on Friday for bribing a public official. In February 2008, the restaurant owner asked the IRS agent investigating him if she wanted to “work” for him after the audit showed Khilnani owed about $49,000 in back taxes from 2004 to 2007, a release from the office of Acting U.S. Attorney Tim Johnson said. The auditor reported the suspicious incident to her supervisor and started recording her future meetings with Khilnani. That’s how the IRS got him for not only nearly $50,000 in back taxes but also for offering the agent a $2,500 bribe. He delivered $2,000 of the bribe before his arrest, the release said. Authorities said Khilnani, who is subject to deportation to India after he serves his sentence, “repeatedly offered the agent pizza from his restaurant as part of the deal.”

Police searching for “ninja biker”

SPOKANE – There is a man on a motorcycle riding around Spokane, and some police officers are calling him the “ninja biker”. Some officers and neighbors tell KREM 2 News, the rider speeds through North Spokane neighborhoods topping speeds in the triple digits. Police say they won’t even pursue the driver, because it’s too dangerous. Police say the “ninja biker” is on a bright lime green motorcycle with no license plate. He is a white man, possibly in his early 20’s. He wears a black and blue full faced helmet.

WOMAN GETS ARM STUCK AFTER DROPPING GOLD TOOTH IN CITI FIELD TOILET – New York Post

A hapless Mets fan tried to make a diving catch when her gold tooth fell into a Citi Field toilet — and got her arm stuck in the commode. The unidentified woman’s bizarre Flushing adventure happened during last Wednesday’s game against the Atlanta Braves, sources said yesterday. It’s unclear how long she was trapped screaming in the john, but stadium security guards and emergency medical personnel eventually showed up. But they could not pry her loose on their own. They called for back-up — dialing up a worker from Cardoza Plumbing, the company that installed all 646 ultra-low-flow toilets at Citi Field. He rushed to the scene from his company’s Jamaica headquarters 7.2 miles away, the sources said. The anxious victim, meanwhile, could only wait as the toilet continued to flush over her arm. At one point, she became more entertaining than the game — which the Mets lost 8-7 — as fans gathered outside the bathroom near Section 338 to see the off-field action. It’s unclear if the toilet had to be destroyed to free her. The woman did not recover her tooth, but was plenty relieved just to leave the bathroom. The Mets and Cardoza Plumbing declined to comment. Some low-flow toilets use powerful vacuum suction to minimize the amount of water needed, but it’s unlikely that contributed to the woman’s hand being stuck, a Queens plumber said. “The truth is, this kind of thing happens all the time — usually with wedding rings or cellphones,” he said. “People have probably been getting their hands stuck in toilets as long as there have been toilets.” In 2003, 41-year-old Edwin Gallart dropped his phone in the toilet on a rush-hour Metro-North train, and went in after it. Railroad employees could not pry his arm loose, and it took an army of emergency personnel 90 minutes, using Jaws of Life rescue equipment, to free Gallart and his phone. During the rescue, the track was shut down, passengers were evacuated, and dozens of other trains were delayed. Last year, a woman in China spent two days with her hand stuck down a toilet when she tried to save a pet turtle that she had accidentally flushed.

Phoenix man killed in gun-safety demo | www.azstarnet.com ®

A 26-year-old Phoenix man accidentally killed himself early Sunday while explaining gun safety to two Sierra Vista residents. Samuel Benally Jr. was at an apartment on West Tacoma Street when he said guns should be kept unloaded because people could point them at their heads, said Sierra Vista police Sgt. Brett Mitchell. Benally then demonstrated by putting his own 9mm Ruger, which he believed to be unloaded, to his head and firing it, Mitchell said. Benally was flown to University Medical Center, where he was pronounced dead, Mitchell said. An investigation is ongoing, but police do not believe alcohol or drugs were involved, Mitchell said.

Robber leaves name, address inside bank he allegedly robbed – 5/19/09 – Raleigh News – abc11.com

DURHAM (WTVD) — Police say they caught a suspected bank robber after he left identifying paperwork inside during the holdup. The suspect, 51-year-old William Richard Bullock of Cary, is charged with armed robbery. On the afternoon of May 15, Durham police say a man entered the RBC Centura Bank at 2313 E. NC Highway 54. After approaching a teller and having a conversation, the teller asked the man if he was “all set.” According to the teller, the man, who wore a gauze patch on his right eye replied, “I’ll be all set after you give me all your money.” Then the man allegedly revealed a gun and pointed it at the teller before demanding that several other employees come out of their offices. The teller said the suspect forced another teller to open the cash drawers. That’s when he grabbed money and fled the bank to a Nissan Altima that was parked outside. Employees say after the suspect got into his car, he got out, returned to the bank and tried to re-enter. The door was locked, but he eventually broke it after repeatedly and forcefully pulling on the handle. Employees told police the suspect retrieved a notebook he had dropped on the floor and then left the bank a second time. He got away with over $19,000. When officers arrived at the scene, they found papers, presumably left in the bank by the suspect. On the papers, were Bullock’s name and address. Police also used the information to search for a registered vehicle through the DMV. That search revealed a 2003 Nissan Altima registered in Bullock’s name. It was similar to the one described by witnesses at the bank. Investigators say they positively identified Bullock by taking a surveillance photo from the robbery and comparing it to Bullock’s DMV photo.

Teen John Szwalla Accused Of Using Banana In Robbery Attempt In Winston-Salem, North Carolina – cbs2.com

WINSTON-SALEM, N.C. (AP) Authorities say a North Carolina teen who was thwarted as he tried to rob a store with a banana ate it before they could arrive. Winston-Salem authorities say 17-year-old John Szwalla held the banana under his shirt when he entered the store Thursday, saying he had a gun and demanded money. Owner Bobby Ray Mabe says he and a customer jumped Szwalla, holding him until deputies arrived. While they waited, Mabe says the teen ate the banana. Mabe says deputies took pictures of the banana peel. Forsyth County Sheriff’s office spokesman Maj. Brad Stanley says deputies joked about charging Szwalla with destroying evidence. Szwalla faces a charge of attempted armed robbery. Jail officials say he doesn’t have an attorney.

Girl, 12, takes takes dad’s car on joy ride in Plantation — South Florida Sun-Sentinel.com

PLANTATION – A 12-year-old girl who took her dad’s car on a joy ride and initially refused to stop for police has been charged with grand theft auto at her father’s request, police said today. Police quickly spotted the girl Monday because she forgot a basic tenet of night driving: headlights. The child disappeared with the yellow Nissan about 10:30 p.m. while her father was visiting her ailing 19-month-old sibling at Plantation General Hospital, said police Detective Robert Rettig. The ordeal started and ended in the hospital parking lot at 401 NW 42 Ave., Rettig said. She drove south on State Road 7 and made a U-turn, but didn’t get far, hitting a police car near the hospital, Rettig said.

Daily Express | UK News :: Red faces as fireman’s college burns down

Bosses of a college which trains ­firefighters are red-faced after one of their own buildings went up in smoke – destroying 11 fire engines worth £1.3million. Workers at the National Fire Service Training College say the damage would have been much less serious if the ­building had been equipped with ­sprinklers. “We are always told that large commercial buildings should have sprinklers but it seems the fire college did not practise what it preaches,” said one worker who did not want to be named. The fire broke out in the large ­workshop at the College in Moreton-in-Marsh, Gloucestershire, early on ­Saturday. Almost 60 firefighters from Gloucestershire, Warwickshire and Worcestershire raced to the college but were unable to save 11 of the 12 elderly fire engines stored in the single storey workshops. A Gloucestershire fire service ­spokesman said: “The building was well alight but the fire was brought under control without injury and without it spreading to any other buildings. The building contained 12 fire engines, 1,200 litres of diesel fuel and 500 litres of hydraulic oil.” The college offers training courses in fire prevention and control to students from brigades all over the world. Phil Abraham, group manager at the county fire service, said: “Firefighters quickly stopped the spread of the blaze, and no one has been injured. The building which caught fire contains old equipment, the loss of which won’t impact on the day-to-day running of the college.” The college said the building was severely damaged in the fire, but that the majority of other buildings and the training fleet had been saved.

Mother-son duo charged in drive-by murder :: CHICAGO SUN-TIMES :: Chicago Crime

A mother and son are scheduled to appear in court today after being charged in a killing last week. The son is accused of pulling the trigger, and the mom is charged with driving the getaway car and hiding evidence, police said. Delfino Juarez, 18, is charged with first-degree murder. His mother, Karen Juarez, 49, is charged with obstruction of justice. Delfino Juarez allegedly shot 18-year-old Jesus Sanchez Friday in the 2000 block of West Garfield after exchanging gang signs with him. Karen Juarez allegedly was driving the van that her son fired from, police said.

Woman Dies After Using Jackhammer As Dildo « decent community

ARNDALE, OK – Sheriff’s investigators have closed the unsettling case of a 49-year-old female construction worker found dead in her driveway after a neighbor witnessed her using a high-powered jackhammer to pleasure herself. After a two-day investigation in which officials initially suspected foul play–Shirley Dent’s death on May 1 has now been ruled an accident “after severe internal distress induced by the machine was discovered,” Det.-Sgt. Karl Sprout of the Alpara County Sheriff’s Office said yesterday. On May 1, a neighbor witnessed a naked Ms. Dent in her driveway “struggling to direct a jackhammer toward her mid-section.” The alarmed neighbor notified police after hearing ear-splitting moans of distress that carried over the raucous jackhammer. Authorities arrived at the scene to an unresponsive Ms. Dent, who was then transported to West Grenier Hospital where she was pronounced dead shortly thereafter. The recently divorced Ms. Dent had been questioned by authorities three times over the past month after neighbors complained of her running a prostitution ring from her home. Records also show that Ms. Dent supplemented her income as the sole proprietor of a sex toy distributor. Ms. Dent’s alleged extracurricular activities appear to be unrelated to her death. A neighbor who declined to be identified said, “She was a horny lady, especially after her husband moved out. My family could hear moans coming from her place all the time.”

STAR TREK: The Jewish Origin of the Vulcan Salute

Back in the 1960s, hippies who watched “Amok Time” thought the salute was a variation of the two-fingered peace sign. But we Jews knew better. The Vulcan salute came not from protest marches, but from the pulpit of Nimoy’s childhood synagogue. The Vulcan greeting is based upon a blessing gesture used by the kohanim (koe-hah-NEEM) during the worship service. The kohanim are the genealogical descendants of the Jewish priests who served in the Jerusalem Temple. Modern Jews no longer have priests leading services as in ancient times, nor do we have animal sacrifices anymore. (Yes, people really do ask about that!) The sacrificial system ended with the destruction of the Temple by the Romans in the year 70. C.E. However, a remnant of the Temple service lives on in the “kohane blessing” ritual (duchenen in Yiddish) that is performed on certain holy days. The actual blessing is done with both arms held horizontally in front, at shoulder level, with hands touching, to form the Hebrew letter “shin.” This stands for the Hebrew word for “Shaddai”, meaning “Almighty [God].” Nimoy modified this gesture into one hand held upright, making it more like a salute. So, technically, the Vulcan greeting is not the same thing as the ceremonial Jewish blessing. Still, the resemblance is close enough to evoke instant recognition among knowledgeable Jews.

Belgian bodybuilding championship canceled after competitors flee doping officials – ESPN

BRUSSELS — The Belgian bodybuilding championship has been canceled after doping officials showed up and all the competitors fled. A doping official says bodybuilders just grabbed their gear and ran off when he came into the room. “I have never seen anything like it and hope never to see anything like it again,” doping official Hans Cooman said Monday. Twenty bodybuilders were entered in the weekend competition. Cooman says the sport has a history of doping “and this incident didn’t do its reputation any good.” During testing of bodybuilding events last year, doping authorities of northern Belgium’s Flanders region found that three-quarters of the competitors tested positive.

Friday Night Quickies: Bills RB Charged With Public Wanking « Style Points

Bills running back Corey McIntyre allegedly took excessive measures to practice his no-huddle offense. The journeyman back faces a misdemeanor exposure of sexual organs charge after a 59-year old woman told police that she heard a knock at her window, then witnessed McIntyre masturbating outside. There has been no report as to what he used to knock on the window. McIntyre denied the charges, described his activities as his usual bicycle routine, and says he did not actually run the waggle in front of the woman. His agent has released a statement:
Corey McIntyre is one of the highest character people around and the last guy who would do what he’s been accused of. We look forward to proving that these embarrassing accusations are completely false and that Corey is guilty of absolutely nothing.

Although McIntyre is a former Saint, at this time there seems to be no connection between this incident and the similar charges recently brought against current Saints players Biren Ealy and Kolomona Kapanui. There also appears to be no truth to rumors that McIntyre was practicing the naked bootleg in anticipation of a position switch to quarterback.

Women gives birth to twins with different fathers – Telegraph

Mia Washington, an American mother, has given birth to twins who have different fathers. Miss Washington admitted she was having an affair when she conceived, when two eggs were fertilised by the sperm of two men. “I have twins, but they’re by different fathers,” said Miss Washington told Fox News. Miss Washington and her partner James Harrison took DNA tests after noticing twins 11-month-old Justin and Jordan, had different facial features. “Out of all people in America and of all people in the world, it had to happen to me. I’m very shocked,” Miss Washington said. According to the paternity test, there’s a 99.999 percent chance Justin and Jordan do not have the same father, and zero percent chance they do. The lab claims it has never seen this type of result, nor do they expect to see it again. “It is very crazy. Most people don’t believe it can happen, but it can,” said Clear Diagnostics President Genny Thibodeaux. Only a handful of cases – of what doctors call heteropaternal superfecundation – are documented in the world.

Paris Hilton: Sex tape ruined my chance to be like Princess Diana | The Sun |Showbiz|Film

PARIS HILTON says her scandalous life has prevented her from fulfilling her dream of being like PRINCESS DIANA. The heirhead socialite makes the claims in a new documentary on her life, which debuted at the Toronto International Film Festival last September and was shown in Cannes at the weekend. You can watch the trailer below: Hilton’s bad behaviour includes her infamous sex tape with RICK SOLOMON, other leaked saucy videos and pictures, a charge for Driving Under the Influence (DUI) and a short spell behind bars. Talking about that sex vid, she says: “When I heard about it I thought: ‘Yeah right. It’s going to be a look-a-like. It’s going to be a joke.’ “But a couple of hours later it was all over online and then I saw it. “It’s the most intimate thing you can do and the whole f***ing world is watching it and laughing at you. “That’s not what I wanted when I was a little girl. It’s not what I planned. I always looked up to people like Princess Diana and now I can never be like that.” The documentary Paris, Not France – shot in London, New York, Tokyo, LA and Las Vegas – explores the empire the millionaire has created for herself and the girl that lies beneath the public persona. She says: “People see me as a Barbie with a perfect life, a fantasy… maybe that’s what they like.” “There’s a mystery about me because how I am in public is completely different to how I am in private.”

URINATED INTO OLD FAITHFUL

CHEYENNE, Wyo. –Two seasonal Yellowstone National Park concession workers have been fired after a live webcam caught them urinating into the Old Faithful geyser. Park spokesman Al Nash says a 23-year-old man was fined $750 and placed on three years of unsupervised probation for urinating, being off-trail in a restricted area and taking items from the area. The man also was banned from Yellowstone for two years. The second employee’s case is pending. The park’s dispatch centre was called after someone watching a webcam on the geyser saw six employees leaving the trail and walking on Old Faithful on May 4. The geyser was not erupting at the time.

43 stun-gunned at prisons’ Take Your Kids to Work Day | McClatchy

A total of 43 children were directly and indirectly shocked by electric stun guns during simultaneous ”Take Your Sons and Daughters to Work Day” events gone wrong at three state prisons, according to new information provided Friday by the Florida Department of Corrections. Also, a group of kids was exposed to tear gas during a demonstration at another lockup. Three prison guards have been fired, two have resigned and 16 more employees — from corrections officers to a warden — will be disciplined due to the incidents that unfolded April 23, said DOC Secretary Walt McNeil. An investigation is ongoing. None of the children in any of the incidents required medical attention or was notably harmed, McNeil said. He said the children, who ranged in age from 5 to 17, were all children of prison officials. In nearly every case, the guards had permission from parents or grandparents to administer the ”electronic immobilization devices,” McNeil said. ”I can’t imagine what these officers were thinking to administer this device to children, nor can I imagine why any parent would allow them to do so,” McNeil said. “This must not happen again.” McNeil called the episode ”embarrassing” for the nation’s fourth-largest prison system. It has been rocked by far more serious scandal.

Mentally Disabled Forced Into ‘Fight Club’

May 12, 2009— Terrified residents at a Corpus Christi, Texas, state school for the mentally disabled were forced to be part of a brutal “fight club” operated by night shift employees, who made videos of the sessions with their cell phones, the newly released videos show. On the videos employees can be seen and heard laughing and prodding the residents to fight. One resident is seen on the video trying to run away from his attacker and a large group of employees and residents tracking him through the halls. When cornered, he wails and moans and tells the employees, “I will behave.” The videos were discovered by police in March when one of the school employees left his phone at a hospital and it was turned over to police. In an effort to find its owner, officers saw the disturbing videos. A judge ordered the tapes released to an attorney suing the state on behalf of a former resident also forced into the “fight club.” “It happened for over a year and it happened for many nights out of the week,” said the attorney, Bob Hilliard. Hilliard’s client, Armando Hernandez, says he was told he would “go to prison” if he did not fight. Hernandez, who is mentally disabled, says he was fearful to even tell his mother of what was happening inside at night. “They say ’snitches get stitches,’” Hernandez told ABC News. A judge ordered police to provide the tapes to Hilliard on Friday for use in his lawsuit against the state, without any restriction on their use. They were played twice in open court. “There are no words as strong as the faces of these residents,” Hilliard said. “It’s a place past fear. It’s a place where they have almost accepted that the school where they’re locked into could very well end up being a coffin for them.” A spokesperson for the Texas Department of Aging and Disability Services, which oversees the state schools, says the agency was “shocked and disgusted by the unconscionable actions of a few employees.” Spokesperson Cecilia Fedorov said the department has taken a number of steps to “stop this kind of abuse again,” including hiring additional security and increased supervision of night shifts.

Bring Your Gun, Get Free Brats and Burgers

TOWN OF ONALASKA, Wis. (AP) — A picnic open to the public at a park in La Crosse County will offer free brats and hamburgers and an invitation to bring your gun. Organizer Hubert Hoffman says Sunday’s picnic at Marvin Gardens Park in the Town of Onalaska celebrates a recent opinion from state Attorney General J.B. Van Hollen that citizens who openly carry firearms should not be cited for disorderly conduct. Hoffman says the picnic is open to everyone, including children and those who don’t want to bring a gun. The gun rights advocate says it’s a way to let the public know that openly carrying a firearm isn’t dangerous or risky. La Crosse County sheriff’s Capt. Mike Horstman says Hoffman is “legally entitled” to host the open carry picnic.

Police: Man Wanted 1 Last Burrito Before Jail – Indiana News Story – WRTV Indianapolis

FORT WAYNE, Ind. — A suspected drug dealer who led police on a high-speed chase was arrested after he got a case of the munchies, police said. Several officers were chasing Jermaine Cooper, 36, Tuesday when he suddenly pulled into a Taco Bell parking lot. Fort Wayne police Sgt. Mark Walters said Cooper told them he “knew he was going to jail for a while” and wanted to get one last burrito. Cooper was held without bail on four counts of dealing cocaine and other charges, and he never got the burrito he craved. A voicemail mailbox for a listing for a Jermaine Cooper in Fort Wayne was full and not accepting messages. Police said the chase began Tuesday after Fort Wayne officers spotted Cooper, who was wanted on other charges, and started the chase that ended in the nearby city of Decatur.

Police: Bank robber nabs $3K, leaves wallet behind

KANSAS CITY, Mo. – Police didn’t have to dust for fingerprints to find this suspect — they just rifled through the wallet he left behind at the scene. Albert Vincent Perkins was charged with robbing First Federal Bank in Kansas City on Thursday. Police said he walked into the bank, handed the teller a plastic bag and ordered her to give him all of the $100 bills. Then he walked out of the bank — but left his wallet sitting on the counter. The U.S. attorney’s office said the teller and a customer in the bank identified the photo on the driver’s license and another photo in the wallet as the robber. Perkins was arrested Thursday night. Police say he took about $3,100.

Raffle ticket helps nab liquor thief, police say – JSOnline

Hartford – A 20-year-old shoplifter with a bottle of whiskey in his pants delayed his escape from a liquor store this week just long enough to write his name and address on a raffle ticket before running out the door, a criminal complaint says. Authorities say Shawn M. Piering of Hartford can be seen on security camera video stuffing the bottle of Jack Daniel’s into his clothing. Then he decided to try his luck at winning a ticket to a Slinger Speedway race through the store’s weekly raffle drawing, B&S Liquor owner Steve Jost said Friday. After filling out the form at the store’s counter, Piering snatched two more whiskey bottles before he fled the store, the complaint says. A store clerk working Wednesday evening watched Piering fill out the raffle ticket, Jost said. “So she wasn’t going to chase him after he ran out the door,” he said. The box for tickets had been emptied the previous day, so the clerk simply opened the box after calling police. Officers recognized the man’s name from other incidents and drove to his home on E. Monroe Ave. “This is one of the stupidest crimes I’ve ever seen,” Jost said. Police and the store owner could watch the crime unfold: More than a dozen security cameras, inside and outside the store at 696 Grand Ave., captured the thief’s every move. When officers confronted Piering at his home Wednesday, he appeared to be intoxicated, the complaint says. Though Piering turned over the store’s missing liquor bottles, he struggled with an officer attempting to arrest him. Thursday, Piering was charged in Washington County Circuit Court with misdemeanor retail theft, resisting an officer and disorderly conduct. Judge Patrick Faragher set a May 28 hearing on the charges. Faragher prohibited Piering from entering B&S Liquor and ordered him to maintain absolute sobriety as conditions of his release from the County Jail on a $750 signature bond.

Reports Claim Man Has Not Bathed, Brushed Teeth in 35 Years – Incredible Health – FOXNews.com

An Indian man with seven daughters has not bathed or brushed his teeth in 35 years, Agence France-Presse reported. Kailash “Kalau” Singh, 63, told the Hindustan Times he will bathe when his nation’s troubles are over, but not everyone is buying that story. According to one person, Singh’s ritual is an attempt to guarantee his next offspring will be a male heir. “A seer once told Kalau that if he does not take a bath, he would be blessed with a male child,” a man named Madhusudan told the newspaper. Each evening, Singh takes a “fire bath” to rid himself of germs. A fire bath consists of praying to the Lord Shiva next to a bonfire and smoking marijuana.

Port Orange man calls 9-1-1 to report robbery of drug money

Instead of scoring 20 pounds of pot, two men were robbed at gunpoint of the $12,000 they were carrying to make the purchase, the Volusia County Sheriff’s Office said. The men even called 9-1-1 to have deputies help them recover the money. “Yeah I was scared,” said Wesley Fehl of Port Orange. “I had two guns pointed at my head.” Fehl, 22, said Tuesday by phone that he and Kenneth Jones, 20, South Daytona, drove to a house on Sunset Boulevard near Holly Hill about 6:30 p.m. Monday to buy marijuana from two acquaintances of Jones. “They invited me inside the house so they could do this,” he said. “They both jumped me. My buddy had walked outside. When he came back in they threw him to the ground.” By then, Fehl had already been relieved of the $12,000, his wallet, and cell phone. Jones’ acquaintances ran out of the house and drove off. Fehl and Jones jumped into their own vehicle, drove after their assailants and called 9-1-1 to report the robbery, sheriff’s spokesman Gary Davidson said in a written report. “I was just held at gunpoint trying to buy drugs. We’re following the dude right now,” the caller told a Sheriff’s Office dispatcher. The dispatcher urged the men not to follow the car and put themselves in further danger, Davidson said. “But he’s got my money,” the caller said. “I don’t want him to get away with my money.” Fehl still feels that way. “I don’t think police have gone back to the house yet,” he said. “As far as they know, they aren’t in trouble. And, I want my money back.” But investigators followed up, Davidson said. Suspects were identified and after warrants were issued for their arrest, the home was raided. Craig Anthony Williams, 34, who lives in the house, was arrested charged with one count of armed robbery. He was being held at the Volusia County Branch Jail with no bail allowed Tuesday night. Investigators continue to look for Lavarus Peterkin, 29, Daytona Beach. He is described as about 6-foot-1, 175 pounds, with black hair, brown eyes and a tattoo on his right hand. Because the investigation is ongoing, Davidson would not say if deputies found marijuana in the house when it was searched. He didn’t know if the guns had been recovered. While all of the men have criminal records, Fehl’s is the longest and includes drug-related arrests, according to court records. Pending the completion of the investigation, charges could be filed against the victims — including a third man, Patrick Marsh, 22, Lake Helen, who was not with Fehl and Jones but reportedly supplied the money, Davidson said. “We’re still evaluating everyone’s actions,” he said Tuesday.

Maryland man sentenced after riding bike 180 miles here for teen sex – News – The Times-Tribune

A man who rode his bicycle 180 miles to have sex with a Scranton teen he met on the Internet will serve one to four years in prison, a judge ruled Wednesday. William Wagner, 26, 414 Battery Drive, Havre de Grace, Md., met the 15-year-old girl through the social networking Web site MySpace. In June, he biked to Scranton to meet the teen. In February, Mr. Wagner pleaded guilty to unlawful contact with a minor. He slept at Pine Brook baseball field, Sanderson Avenue and Green Place, while he was in Scranton. He took the teen to the baseball field and had intercourse with her there several times, police said. After he left Scranton, the girl told her parents she had sex with Mr. Wagner, who reported it to police. The Times-Tribune does not identify sexual assault victims. The teen told police she considered herself to be “in a relationship” with Mr. Wagner at one time. He knew she was only 15, she told police. “It was a peculiar set of circumstances, including that he rode his bike to meet her,” said Deputy District Attorney Michelle Olshefski. “I think the sentence is very fitting. He acknowledged that he knew her age and what he did was wrong.” After serving his prison sentence, Mr. Wagner will have to register as a sex offender under the state’s Megan’s Law requirements for 10 years.

Man Smoking Pot Sets Fire To Parents’ Garage – San Diego News Story – KGTV San Diego

SAN DIEGO — A 23-year-old man smoking marijuana in his parents’ garage sparked a fire at a Rancho Peñasquitos home, injuring himself and a firefighter and causing $100,000 in damage, authorities said Friday. It took firefighters about 20 minutes to extinguish the blaze, which broke out at a two-story home in the 8800 block of Adobe Bluffs Drive shortly after 6:30 p.m. Thursday, according to a San Diego fire-rescue dispatcher. The young man blamed for the blaze was using some sort of torch device to smoke marijuana and apparently left the torch on, setting fire to a couch in the garage, San Diego police Sgt. Alan Hayward said. He went to get water from another room and returned to find the garage and its contents ablaze, including his Jeep, which he tried to push out of the structure, according to the sergeant. As flames continued to spread, the young man scrambled to alert his family members, who were in other parts of the house, Hayward said. Paramedics later took the man and a firefighter to the hospital, the fire dispatcher said. The man was treated for second-degree burns to two fingers, while the firefighter was treated for second-degree burns to his face and later released, The San Diego Union-Tribune reported. San Diego fire Battalion Chief John Thomson told the newspaper that firefighters found a large hookah pipe, bongs and other pipes in the garage. Damage was estimated at $80,000 to the structure and $20,000 to its contents, according to the fire dispatcher.

Father who asked prostitute to take 14-year-old son’s virginity as a present is spared jail | Mail Online

A man who tried to hire a prostitute to take his 14-year-old son’s virginity as a present was spared jail today. The Polish national drove the boy to a red-light district in Nottingham, suggesting he pick a woman they saw standing at the roadside. But the 42-year-old father was arrested because the teenager had chosen an undercover police officer, Nottingham Crown Court heard. Today, the man, who cannot be named for legal reasons, was handed a ten-month prison sentence, suspended for a year. The full-time carer, from Bulwell, Nottingham, earlier admitted a charge of trying to solicit a woman to have sex with a child. The court heard that the father was arrested in the Mapperley area of the city at 11.30pm on July 26 last year during an undercover vice squad operation. Adrian Harris, prosecuting, told the court how the officer kept up the pretence until a deal had been struck. ‘An undercover police officer whose codename was Sarah said a car drove up to her,’ he said. ‘It was driven by the defendant who beckoned her over. ‘He was not alone in the car and in the passenger seat was a boy. The defendant said: “Hello baby, how much?” ‘She said, “It depends what you want.” He replied, “Come on baby, what is it that you do? How much for a proper sh*g for him?” And then he pointed to his son.’ Mr Harris said the undercover officer gave a price of £25 which was negotiated down to £20. ‘The defendant said he would pull over and at this point he was arrested by plainclothes police officers and both he and the boy were interviewed separately.’ Mr Harris added: ‘The boy said that they had driven past the girl and his dad pointed to her and said “Will she do?” ‘He said yes and they had turned round. He said his dad did this because he was still a virgin and he was taking care of that for him.’ Judge Jonathan Teare said he was sparing the man from jail because of his otherwise excellent character. The judge told him: ‘You have a duty of care to your son and that is to look after his moral welfare, not as you might think to break him in to the ways of sex through a prostitute.’ The father listened with the help of an interpreter as his barrister Matthew Smith said: ‘There is a thorough sense of shame the defendant feels – it’s completely at odds with every other part of his character.’ The court heard the two arrived from Poland eight years ago following the death of the boy’s mother. The father had remarried but his new wife suffered from schizophrenia. The boy will be allowed to stay with his father, who must sign the sex offenders register for five years.

Woman Dies After Using Jackhammer As Dildo « decent community

ARNDALE, OK – Sheriff’s investigators have closed the unsettling case of a 49-year-old female construction worker found dead in her driveway after a neighbor witnessed her using a high-powered jackhammer to pleasure herself. After a two-day investigation in which officials initially suspected foul play–Shirley Dent’s death on May 1 has now been ruled an accident “after severe internal distress induced by the machine was discovered,” Det.-Sgt. Karl Sprout of the Alpara County Sheriff’s Office said yesterday. On May 1, a neighbor witnessed a naked Ms. Dent in her driveway “struggling to direct a jackhammer toward her mid-section.” The alarmed neighbor notified police after hearing ear-splitting moans of distress that carried over the raucous jackhammer. Authorities arrived at the scene to an unresponsive Ms. Dent, who was then transported to West Grenier Hospital where she was pronounced dead shortly thereafter. The recently divorced Ms. Dent had been questioned by authorities three times over the past month after neighbors complained of her running a prostitution ring from her home. Records also show that Ms. Dent supplemented her income as the sole proprietor of a sex toy distributor. Ms. Dent’s alleged extracurricular activities appear to be unrelated to her death. A neighbor who declined to be identified said, “She was a horny lady, especially after her husband moved out. My family could hear moans coming from her place all the time.”

Lowell man and his daughter, 16, badly burned – Lowell Sun Online

LOWELL — A 49-year-old man and his 16-year-old daughter were flown to Boston hospitals last night after they were badly burned when a pipe they had filled with gunpowder exploded inside the garage of a home on Riverside Street, authorities said. Exactly what they were up to, and why, remains under investigation. Deputy Fire Chief Jeffrey Winward said firefighters were called to the rear of 447-449 Riverside St., at 6:53 p.m., for a report of a structure fire in which a girl had been burned. They soon learned that the girl and her father had filled a pipe with gunpowder and ignited it, apparently without incident. But then they went into a garage behind the tan duplex home on Riverside Street and began filling the pipe with more gunpowder. The gunpowder ignited this time, causing a flash fire that also ignited a can of gasoline nearby.

globeandmail.com: Woman cuffed for not holding escalator handrail

MONTREAL — Anyone who has ridden an escalator and bothered to pay attention has seen – and likely ignored – little signs suggesting riders hold the grimy handrail. In Montreal’s subway system, the friendly advice seems to have taken on the force of law, backed by a $100 fine. Bela Kosoian, a 38-year-old mother of two, says when she didn’t hold the handrail Wednesday she was cuffed, dragged into a small holding cell and fined. “It was horrible, disgusting behaviour [by police],” said Ms. Kosoian, a 38-year-old student of international law. “I did nothing wrong. They should go find the guys who stole my tires off the balcony.”

NBA star Corie Blount jailed over Cheech and Chong size stash

Former NBA player and University of Cincinnati basketball star Corie Blount has been sentenced to one year in prison on two charges of marijuana possession. Forty-year-old Blount pleaded guilty in Butler County Common Pleas Court last month to two felony possession charges as part of a plea bargain which saw prosecutors withdraw two trafficking charges. Bount was arrested on December 4, 2008 after sheriffs deputies intercepted 11 pounds (4.99kg) of marijuana sent to him at a relatives house through the US Postal Service. A search of Blount’s home later unearthed an additional 18 pounds (8.16kg) of marijuana. Facing a maximum 10-year sentence, Blount’s claim that the marijuana was for personal use was rejected by Judge Craig Hedric, who told Blount at todays sentencing hearing, “Cheech and Chong would have had a hard time smoking that much,”

Study: Only 58.5% of Houston freshmen graduate | Chronicle | Chron.com – Houston Chronicle

As thousands of Houston-area high school seniors prepare to accept their diplomas in the coming weeks, a study released Friday shows that only 58.5 percent of the region’s freshmen make it to graduation day. Children at Risk, a Houston-based advocacy group, commissioned the Texas Education Agency to conduct study of six-year graduation rates for the region’s 130 high schools. They learned that 53 percent of the students who begin as ninth-graders in the Houston Independent School District had not graduated from any Texas high school in six years. The combined graduation rate for the entire region’s high schools is 58.5 percent.

New Zealand couple who benefited from bank mistake take $2.3 million and run

WELLINGTON, New Zealand – The bank that mistakenly handed a New Zealand couple a $6.1 million credit limit said Friday it had recovered less than a third of the money from the pair, who have disappeared. An international police search is under way for the couple, who are believed to have gone on the run to avoid having to give the money back. Police have not identified the couple. Detective Senior Sgt. David Harvey said Interpol was investigating in Hong Kong and was also working with officials in Beijing. Westpac Bank on Friday offered more details of its mistake. The bank said in a statement that the couple, who ran a gas station in the city of Rotorua, had a bank overdraft of New Zealand $100,000 ($61,000). Westpac had said on Thursday that the couple’s overdraft was worth NZ$10,000. The bank “sought to formalize that limit, at which stage an error occurred, the consequence of which was opening up that limit to” NZ$10 million ($6.1 million), the statement said. The account holder had tried to transfer about NZ$6.7 million ($4 million) out of the account, but the bank had been able recover NZ$2.8 million ($1.7 million) of it. The statement did not specify just how it got the money back. “Westpac is continuing to vigorously pursue the outstanding amount,” of NZ$3.8 million ($2.3 million), the bank said. Westpac says it considers the money to have been stolen but conceded it was human error at the bank that made the couple accidental millionaires.

Liverpool Echo.co.uk – News – Liverpool Local News – Liverpool Chinatown sword battle: karaoke gang link

TWO Chinese gangs involved in a bloody straightener at a Liverpool restaurant were rival karaoke performers. Prominent members of Liverpool’s Chinese community said a turf war over cockle picking was behind the violent brawl. Detectives were today investigating the mass fight which saw meat cleavers, machetes, hammers and a Samurai sword wielded in Chinatown’s Chilli Chilli. Up to 40 men sat at a table in the Nelson Street restaurant enjoying drinks together before a signal was given for a mass brawl to begin. Mob members drew out their weapons and began hacking at each other. Today it emerged the two gangs were well known karaoke singers who frequent bars and restaurants in the city. Detectives from Merseyside Police are probing the cockle picking allegations – but dismissed suggestions that Triad gangs were behind the violence. A source told the ECHO: “Everyone knows these people like to sing karaoke in Liverpool and it’s a big deal in the community. They aren’t established members of the Chinese community here and are comparatively new groups. They are dangerous. It’s incredible that after the fighting they walked out of the restaurant arm in arm.”

World Briefing – The Americas – Mexico – Drug Cartel’s Code of Ethics – NYTimes.com

The reputed leader of a Mexican drug cartel arrested over the weekend told authorities that he trained his members in ethics and personal development and that he urged them to avoid drugs and alcohol, the federal police said Monday. Rafael Cedeño, 47, whom authorities consider a leader of the criminal group known as “The Family,” was arrested Saturday. The federal police said that the training Mr. Cedeño provided was intended to keep “better motivational and emotional control over the members.”

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May 12, 2009

You Can’t Make These Up

Filed under: Hardly Newsworthy, Humor — Tags: , — webadmin @ 3:41 am


 

Jewelry store employee, Teresa Tambunting, arrested for stealing gold in purse lining over six years

A Scarsdale mom was busted for stealing $12 million in gold from a posh Queens jewelry store by slipping it out piece-by-piece in her purse lining, prosecutors said. For at least the past six years, Teresa Tambunting, a vault manager at Jacmel Jewelry, stole 500 pounds of fine gold jewelry and raw gold, which she hid in the suburban home she shared with her husband and three children, prosecutors said. The 50-year-old Tambunting hoarded her growing treasure trove in 5-gallon buckets in their basement, law enforcement sources said. The theft began to unravel in January, when the company audited its Long Island City headquarters vault and discovered $12 million in inventory missing, Queens District Attorney Richard Brown said. They had grown suspicious that their losses were more than the normal 3% annual rate, law enforcement sources said. When Tambunting got wind of the audit, she decided to fess up. She arrived at work in early February dragging rolling luggage bags filled with some of the booty, her boss said.

Alabama man sleeps with a 40-caliber pistol and accidentally shoots himself in the shoulder

NORTHPORT, Ala. – A 24-year-old man likely will rethink his habit of sleeping with a gun after police said his 40-caliber pistol discharged and hit him in the shoulder on Wednesday. A police detective said the wound was not life threatening. The shooting at his apartment complex was ruled an accident.

The Associated Press: Girl beats off muggers with marching band baton

QUARTZ HILL, Calif. (AP) — Don’t mess with the marching band. That’s what California authorities are saying after a 17-year-old girl used her marching band baton to beat back two would-be muggers. Los Angeles County sheriff’s Deputy Michael Rust says the Quartz Hill girl was walking to school April 24 when two men approached her from behind, tried to grab her coat and demanded money. Instead, one got a punch in the nose and the other a kick to the groin. Rust says the girl then beat both of them with her band baton before she ran away. The men had not been caught. But Rust says there’s a clear message to take from the encounter: “The moral to this story is don’t mess with the marching band girls, or you just might get what you deserve. Final score: marching band 2, thugs 0.”

The Gaggle : Holy Moly Is Right: Palin on American Chopper

Sarah Palin is a guest on TLC’s American Chopper tonight. The guys meet up with Palin to talk about a motorcycle they are building to commemorate the 50th anniversary of Alaska’s statehood. The preview, up on YouTube, shows Palin cozying up against a HUGE bear rug that’s about, oh, three times her size. We’d seen it in pictures before, but for some reason, it just looks bigger this time. Wow.


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‘Can A Brotha Get A Break’ Florida License Plate? | Firstcoastnews.com | Florida

TALLAHASSEE, FL — Fighting a Republican move to approve religiously oriented specialty license tags, and bitter about proposed salary cuts for state workers, Senate Democratic Leader Al Lawson has a specialty tag idea of his own. Worried about the separation of church and state, Democratic critics are incensed about one proposed tag that would feature an image of Christ on the cross. Lawson’s amendment to SB 2326 is called, “Can A Brotha Get a Break License Plate.” “The plate must prominently display an image of state Senator Alfred ‘Al’ Lawson, Jr. The phrase ‘Can a Brotha Get a Break?’ shall appear in bold letters on the bottom of the plate.” Proceeds from the plate would go to, “Employees Relief Fund for the purpose of offsetting salary and benefit cuts by the Legislature and providing grief counseling.” The amendment doesn’t mention that Lawson is running for Congress next year.

YouTube – Anderson Cooper & The Bus Driver Texting – Then Crashing



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The Irony of Satire: Political Ideology and the Motivation to See What You Want to See in The Colbert Report — LaMarre et al. 14 (2): 212 — The International Journal of Press/Politics

This study investigated biased message processing of political satire in The Colbert Report and the influence of political ideology on perceptions of Stephen Colbert. Results indicate that political ideology influences biased processing of ambiguous political messages and source in late-night comedy. Using data from an experiment (N = 332), we found that individual-level political ideology significantly predicted perceptions of Colbert’s political ideology. Additionally, there was no significant difference between the groups in thinking Colbert was funny, but conservatives were more likely to report that Colbert only pretends to be joking and genuinely meant what he said while liberals were more likely to report that Colbert used satire and was not serious when offering political statements. Conservatism also significantly predicted perceptions that Colbert disliked liberalism. Finally, a post hoc analysis revealed that perceptions of Colbert’s political opinions fully mediated the relationship between political ideology and individual-level opinion.

io9 – Robot Beats Man In Sweden, Grabbing His Head and Shaking Him – Robots

A Swedish industrial worker was attacked by a malfunctioning robot two years ago in Sweden, and has this week won a lawsuit against the company that owned the vicious bot. Apparently, the man tried to fix the robot, which was designed to lift rocks. But he failed to turn the robot off first, and it grabbed him by the head and lifted him up. Could this be the beginning of the robot revolution? Here is the story, translated from a Swedish newspaper:
A company must pay fines of 25,000 kronar because it has been deemed responsible for the [robot attack]. “I have never heard of a robot who beat a man in this way,” said prosecutor Leif Johansson. In June 2007, a man who is employed at a factory in Bålsta north of Stockholm took a look at a malfunctioning robotized machine. The machine was used for lifting heavy stones. When the man went into the building he thought that he had cut the power to the machine but he had not. Instead, the robot was activated and forcibly grabbed the man’s head. He managed to defend himself, but received serious injuries on the body. “The man was very lucky. He had four broken ribs and was almost killed,” said Leif Johansson

via SvD (thanks, Lars!)

Olmsted Township Police Chief Charles McNeeley arrested on sex charges – News Sun – Cleveland.com

OLMSTED TWP. Police Chief Charles McNeeley was arrested Tuesday morning on sex charges. According to Cleveland Metroparks Capt. Jack Hall, McNeeley was apprehended for public indecency, a third-degree misdemeanor, at the Memphis picnic area in Brooklyn at 8:30 a.m. Hall said a Metroparks ranger was on foot patrol in the area when she noticed two cars side-by-side. She saw two men adjacent to the car engaged in sexual conduct and masturbation.

According to a report issued by the Metroparks police, the ranger approached the cars and McNeeley looked in her direction and appeared startled. He then entered his car and was repeatedly ordered to stop. McNeeley asked the ranger to give him a warning saying, “Can’t you just warn me. I’ll never come back to the park again, please just give me a warning.” He admitted he was going to perform a sexual act on 61-year-old Daniel Crown of Brooklyn, but didn’t. McNeeley later denied being employed in law enforcement and claimed officers were confusing him with his brother.

It was unknown at press time what disciplinary action would be taken by the township. “I want to make sure all the facts are there before I say anything,” Township Trustee Jim Carroll said. McNeeley, who is married and lives in Olmsted Falls, retired from the Cleveland Police Department as a Commander of the First District in 2002 before being hired as the township’s police chief. Both McNeeley and Crown were released on a $1,000 personal bond. They will appear at 1:30 p.m. Tuesday at the Parma Municipal Court.

Man caught having sex with table gets 6 months : News : WNWO NBC24

BELLEVUE, OH — Police say a man was arrested after admitting to, and being caught on DVD having sex with his picnic table repeatedly. Investigators say they received a tip that Art Price Jr., 40, of 146 Brinker St. in Bellevue was having sex with a picnic table while outside on the deck. The incidents occurred between January and March 2008. Police say on March 13, the tipster dropped off three DVDs which showed Price in the act. On four occasions, Price is seen naked and masturbating in the rear room near the open doorway; he then comes out to the deck. He tilts the metal round picnic table on its side and lays up against it and has sexual intercourse with the table. Afterwards he cleans the table and the deck. Police say the the incidents occurred close to Ridge Elementary School. On March 20 Huron County prosecutors met with investigating officers and were shown the DVDs. Later that day, Price was brought in for questioning. Police say that during questioning, Price admitted he had sex with the picnic table. He also confirmed the incidents caught on the DVD and admitted to having sex with the table inside his home. On June 18, 2008, Price pleaded ‘no contest’ to disseminating harmful material to juveniles and public indecency. According the the Huron County Department of Corrections, he was sentenced to six months in jail.

Repossessed home missing $150,000 in fixtures | 10connects.com | Tampa, St. Petersburg, Clearwater

Bradenton, Florida — A bank agent checking a house that was just foreclosed discovered a Big Empty Sunday – all the interior fixtures were gone. The Manatee County Sheriff’s Office said the property was a $3-million residence at 6959 Westchester Circle, recently repossessed from Mark P. Riley, 48, of Sarasota by First Bank of Florida. When bank agent Ted Allen went to inspect the property, he found a lot of things had been removed. “Items missing include the fireplace, granite counter tops, cabinets, carpets, plumbing and light fixtures, window treatments, interior doors, and appliances,” the sheriff’s office said. The fixtures had an estimated value of $150,000. Allen told deputies he found the home locked up, with no signs of forced entry. The sheriff’s office said its investigation is continuing.

Iceland tries to flush crisis away | FP Passport

A man urinates on April 25, 2009 in the toilets of the Sodoma bar in central Reykjavik where photographs of the former bankers who left their country after the financial crash have been stuck on the urinals. AFP PHOTO OLIVIER MORIN.

YouTube – Bull in shop, bullinrobe, county mayo Ireland

Ballinrobe Co. Mayo.Ireland – A bull filmed rampaging around a supermarket after escaping from a cattle in the west of Ireland. It was market day when the bull jumped out of the ring at the catle mart and headed off up the main street of ballinrobe. John Cummins(Supermarket owner ) said: “He got out of the mart about a kilometre away and galloped right up the town, past Tesco and then turned left, then right and came straight into the front door.



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“He went straight through the shop, out into the store, had a good look about, turned around and went straight out again. I could not believe my eyes.” While Mr Cummins is laughing about it now, he said it could have been a very different story. “It is a good news story but it could have been a bad news story, a pregnant woman could have been hurt, a child could have been hurt, anyone in the store. There could have been a lot of damage or there could have been damage to cars, thank goodness no one was injured.” The film footage, put together from various CCTV camera’s in the store, shows the bull entering through the electrically operated double doors and racing to the rear store and – appropriately – a butcher trying to corral it with a shopping trolley.

Federal convicts travel unescorted from prison to prison

DALLAS – Among the hundreds of bus passengers arriving everyday in downtown Dallas, there are some the government doesn’t want the public to know about. “It’s an inherent safety and security risk for the industry as a whole,” said Kim Plaskett, a spokeswoman with Greyhound Bus Lines. German Cruz is one of the passengers at issue. With a record of felony assault in New York ten years ago, a federal judge recently sentenced him to 41 months in prison for repeatedly sneaking into the United States.

Cruz is now serving that sentence in federal prison. But, he was recently discovered at a bus stop – ticket in hand – transferring himself from one federal prison in Minnesota to another in Texas. There wasn’t a guard in sight. “We don’t want our bus system to turn into Con Air, but you would think there would be some safety measures that could be put into place here, which doesn’t seem to be the case,” said Sen. Amy Klobuchar, (D) Minn., who is also a member of the U.S. Senate Transportation Committee and was unaware of the practice of unescorted prisoners. Our affiliate in Minneapolis tracked Cruz from Rochester, Minn. to Dallas on his way to Houston. The reporter was the only one watching the convict as he made a 1,400 mile journey – alone.

Tennessee House makes time for congrats | www.tennessean.com | The Tennessean

One out of every five minutes on the floor of the Tennessee House this year has been spent honoring and congratulating constituents or greeting visitors. Out of a total of about 37 hours spent in session, nearly eight hours have been consumed by what are known in the House as “personal orders.” Representatives are now meeting an hour earlier than usual on Monday afternoons to accommodate the ceremonies.

House Republican Leader Jason Mumpower of Bristol, who often escapes to the balcony outside the chamber while the clerk reads out honoring resolutions, explained to members last week that the 4 p.m. start time was necessary “so we can more thoroughly enjoy the personal orders.” Many lawmakers read newspapers, chat or work on laptops while the presentations are made. They often offer only tepid applause. Recent groups honored on the House floor range from the Soddy-Daisy cheerleading team to the Mule Day queen and her court.

Sex-Doll Threesome Man Gets Off – News- msnbc.com

George Bartusek, who got freaky with two blow-up sex dolls in a grocery store parking lot, wont do jail time, a judge has ruled. Bartusek was let off with six months probation for his open-air synthetic threesome in a Publix Parking Lot in Cape Coral in February. Stunned onlookers had seen the 51-year-old inappropriately touching his — ahem — companions in plain sight. “As I walk by I saw this guy with two blow up dolls kissing them and bouncing them and trying to get peoples attention,” a female witness told WPBF after the incident. “Its just crazy, you know, and Im with my daughter and she couldnt believe what we were seeing,” added another witness, Arthur Castro.

Bartusek, like his blow-up friends, stayed silent as he left court after the sentencing yesterday, refusing to answer any reporters questions. Charged with breach of peace and trespassing, Bartusek was facing a year in jail for his escapade. Now hell likely have to go to Winn-Dixie for groceries — the judge told him he isnt welcome back at Publix.

The Daily Dish | By Andrew Sullivan

One imagines that this 1973 design for the Catholic Church’s Archdiocesan Youth Commission would not make the cut today.

Indian business students snap up copies of Mein Kampf – Telegraph

Booksellers told The Daily Telegraph that while it is regarded in most countries as a ‘Nazi Bible’, in India it is considered a management guide in the mould of Spencer Johnson’s “Who Moved My Cheese”. Sales of the book over the last six months topped 10,000 in New Delhi alone, according to leading stores, who said it appeared to be becoming more popular with every year. Several said the surge in sales was due to demand from students who see it as a self-improvement and management strategy guide for aspiring business leaders, and who were happy to cite it as an inspiration. “Students are increasingly coming in asking for it and we’re happy to sell it to them,” said Sohin Lakhani, owner of Mumbai-based Embassy books who reprints Mein Kampf every quarter and shrugs off any moral issues in publishing the book. “They see it as a kind of success story where one man can have a vision, work out a plan on how to implement it and then successfully complete it”.

Man bits snake after attack_English_Xinhua

BEIJING, April 20 (Xinhuanet) — A Kenyan man survived a Python attack, partly because he bit the snake after it tried to drag him into a tree. According to local media Wednesday, Ben Nyaumbe, a local farmer, was attacked by the 13-foot snake and fought him for several hours. The enormous reptile wrapped him in its coils and hauled him up a tree, but Nyaumbe was able to cover the snake’s head with his shirt, and reach his cell phone, where he called police for help. The man’s employer arrived with police and local villagers who tied the python with a rope and pulled them both down from the tree with a thud. They found that Nyaumbe had also bitten the python on the tail, causing his lip to split open where it came in contact with the sharp tip. When asked why he bit the python, the man explained: “I stepped on a spongy thing on the ground and suddenly my leg was entangled with the body of a huge python. I had to bite it.”

Suspect flees from police station while officer dozes – The Mainichi Daily News

NISHINOMIYA, Hyogo — A man being questioned over a car break-in escaped from a police station while a 19-year-old officer dozed, sparking a search involving 170 officers before the suspect turned himself in. Nishinomiya Police Station officials said the 32-year-old suspect, Takami Yonezawa, a resident of Osaka, escaped from the police station at about 4:30 p.m. on Monday. The station quickly deployed a search team with about 170 officers looking for the 32-year-old, who turned himself in at the same police station on Tuesday afternoon. Officials said that Yonezawa was arrested on suspicion of stealing a bag from a vehicle in a coin-operated parking lot in Nishinomiya at about 3 a.m. on Monday. A 34-year-old sergeant and a 19-year-old officer began questioning Yonezawa in an investigation room at the police station at about 3:30 p.m. on Monday. However, when the sergeant left the room for about 10 minutes to print out a report, the suspect fled. The younger officer was dozing at the time and reportedly did not notice Yonezawa escaping.

Police said Yonezawa’s handcuffs had been removed in the investigation room, but he was tied to a chair with a leash. The door to the room was unlocked, and Yonezawa apparently untied the leash and escaped through the corridor. “It’s extremely unfortunate that he escaped while we were questioning him,” police station head Chiaki Yoneda said. The 19-year-old officer had emerged from a police academy at the end of January, and was assigned to the police station, where he was undergoing criminal investigation training.

Police: Dad beat son over video game | Cincinnati Enquirer | Cincinnati.Com

EAST PRICE HILL – An East Price Hill father beat his 6-year-old son for playing a video game poorly, Cincinnati police say. Advertisement Terry Taulbee, 50, was held Tuesday on a domestic violence charge at the Hamilton County jail. Taulbee is accused of hitting the boy on his lower back and buttocks, leaving a large red hand mark, court records state. The area swelled and caused pain for the child. The victim’s mother told police Taulbee became upset when the boy didn’t play a video game well. The boy is with his mother, while Taulbee has been put under a safety plan which forbids him from having contact, said Brian Gregg, a spokesman for the Hamilton County Job and Family Services. “We are investigating these allegations and looking into it, whether everyone is safe and healthy,” he said. The safety plan will continue until Family Services makes sure everything is OK in the home, Gregg said. “It is going to take some time to investigate and see what kinds of services are needed for the family,” he said.

Longest place name in US spelt wrongly – Telegraph

The lake in Webster, Massachusetts – known as Webster Lake for short – was always going to be a challenge for sign writers. But after researching historical spelling combinations, the local newspaper the Telegram & Gazette of Worcester said local Chamber of Commerce officials agreed that some signs at the lake were wrong. There was an “o” at letter 20 where a “u” should have been, and an “h” at letter 38 where an “n” should go. The name comes from the language of the local Nipmuck tribe and translates to “Englishmen at Manchaug at the fishing place at the boundary although” and was applied in the 19th century when White people built factories in the area. One debunked myth suggested the actual words were “You fish on your side, I fish on my side, and nobody fish in the middle.” It is believed the latter was a hoax believed to have been concocted by the late Larry Daly, the editor of The Webster Times. The stretch of water has several alternative names is also shortened to Lake Chaubunagungamaug to avoid the 45 letter tongue twister. Lake Chargoggagoggmanchauggagoggchaubunagungamaugg, the full-length version of the name, is the longest place name in the United States and 6th longest in the world. Its 17 uses of “g” are the most instances of any letter in a word. The name also contains 10 instances of the letter “a” (not including the “a” in “lake”), more than any word in the English language.

Daily Times – Leading News Resource of Pakistan – Net protects Modi against shoe attacks

ISLAMABAD: Leader of Hindu nationalist Bharatiya Janata Party (BJP) Narendra Modi on Tuesday addressed a public rally surrounded by a protective net in Naroda Patiya region of Gujarat. After a series of shoe attacks on Indian politicians by disgruntled individuals in the past few days, authorities have deemed it worthwhile to take extra measures to protect leaders, a private TV channel reported. The shoe-hurling bug has gained popularity in India after an Iraqi journalist hurled shoes at former US president George W Bush. The first Indian politician to face the footware assault was Indian Interior Minister Palaniappan Chidambaram during a news conference. Soon afterwards, a slipper was lobbed at BJP’s prime ministerial candidate Lal Krishna Advani while he was addressing a public rally.

Woman burnt to death after setting her own car alight in road-rage incident – Times Online

It was the ultimate expression of road rage. A furious woman driver died after ramming another vehicle and spinning her wheels so fast that her own car burst into flames. Serena Sutton-Smith, 54, burnt to death after refusing to get out of her Vauxhall Nova as she sat with her foot flat on the accelerator. She spun the wheels so fast that her tyres disintegrated and the metal rims sent a shower of sparks into the engine, igniting the brake fluid and setting the car on fire. Appalled onlookers urged her to get out of the car as the flames licked around her but she told them to “F*** off”, an inquest in Gloucester was told.

Sun girl gets drunk on air

HAVE I mist something? When I found out there was a new bar opening that didn’t serve a single drink, I wasn’t sure it was worth the look in. But Alcoholic Architecture near Carnaby Street in London is not about drinking booze – it’s about breathing the stuff. Fumes of gin and tonic are billowed out through a giant vaporiser to create a kind of hazy Glade plug-in effect. Paying a credit-crunch busting five pounds, partygoers stuff themselves into a white body suit, head down into the basement and let the boozy steam room take effect. The concept is the brainchild of wild and wacky duo Sam Bompass and Harry Parr. Advertisement As it was a Thursday, and the weekend wasn’t far off, I bobbed down there for a few breaths to see what all the fuss is about. While I definitely felt a little tiddly on the way home, I don’t think I’ll be swapping my Cosmopolitans for Eau de G & T too quickly. The white suit did nothing for my fash credentials either and all that boozy fog in an underground space just made my head spin.

Taser Sues Second Life Virtual World Creator Over Gun Sales – Bloomberg.com

April 20 (Bloomberg) — Taser International Inc. filed a trademark-infringement lawsuit against the Second Life online virtual world creator over claims it sells unauthorized virtual versions of its electric stun guns. Taser, the world’s biggest maker of stun guns, claims San Francisco-based Linden Research Inc. is damaging the company’s reputation and hurting its sales by allowing virtual weapons to be sold online under the Taser brand name, according to a 102- page complaint filed April 17 in federal court in Phoenix. Linden and third-party companies such as Virtualtrade LLC, which also was sued, are “selling virtual weaponry in a fully fledged copy of plaintiff’s real ones for use in the Second Life computer simulation,” Taser, based in Scottsdale, Arizona, said in the complaint. In the virtual world, participants create alter egos known as avatars that use real money to buy property, open businesses, dance at clubs, engage in combat or have sex. Companies including International Business Machines Corp. and Xerox Inc. have established presences in Second Life. The complaint also names Linden founder and Chairman Philip Rosedale, as well as its chief executive officer, Mark Kingdon, and chief financial officer, John Zdanowski. Linden was founded in 1999 and has more than 250 employees. Taser says the alleged infringement is especially harmful because the online stores include pornographic content.

Man jailed for urinating on woman during flight

HONOLULU – A 28-year-old man has been sentenced to three weeks in jail for urinating on a 66-year-old woman during a Continental Airlines flight last month from Los Angeles to Honolulu. Jerome Kenneth Kingzio, a resident of the U.S. Commonwealth of the Northern Mariana Islands, was sentenced after pleading guilty Tuesday to assault charges in federal court in Honolulu. The victim was headed to Hawaii on March 21 for a scuba diving vacation and was watching an in-flight movie when Kingzio stood up and began urinating on her. He had been drinking on the flight. U.S. Attorney Edward Kubo Jr. said the woman reported that not only was her entire vacation ruined, but she continues to suffer emotionally from the incident. The case was investigated by the FBI.

Golfer with one arm and one eye gets hole in one – mirror.co.uk

Brave bomb blast victim Alan Perrin has notched up his first hole-in-one despite being nearly blind and having only one arm. Alan, now 45, had to quit the Royal Marines in 1992 after suffering the horrific injuries in a training exercise explosion. But he fell in love with golf, despite being left partially blind in his remaining eye. And he defied the odds to hit the amazing 160-yard shot at his local club.

After hitting the one-handed drive at Exminster Golf Club near Exeter, Devon, Alan and his partner thought the ball was lost after there was so sign of it on the green. He explained: “We spent five minutes looking but didn’t want to hold up the next group so we moved on. When those behind us saw the ball in the hole. I was stunned.” Alan, who has a handicap of 28, said: “I took up golf because it is one sport where the rules are the same if you are disabled.” And sheer guts is no handicap…

The Associated Press: Israeli official: Swine flu name offensive

JERUSALEM (AP) — The outbreak of swine flu should be renamed “Mexican” influenza in deference to Muslim and Jewish sensitivities over pork, said an Israeli health official Monday. Deputy Health Minister Yakov Litzman said the reference to pigs is offensive to both religions and “we should call this Mexican flu and not swine flu,” he told a news conference at a hospital in central Israel. Both Judaism and Islam consider pigs unclean and forbid the eating of pork products. Scientists are unsure where the new swine flu virus originally emerged, though it was identifed first in the United States. They say there is nothing about the virus that makes it “Mexican” and worry such a label would be atigmatizing.

Deadspin – Feds Seize Brandi Chastain’s Bra, Demand Ransom – Brandi chastain must pay back bra support

If you want to see the bra alive again, leave $250 in unmarked bills at the enclosed location. No tricks. Bra will be shipped within 5-7 business days.

From The Wall Street Journal:

The black sports undergarment that Brandi Chastain famously exposed to the world after a game-winning goal in the 1999 World Cup had been taken into custody by U.S. bankruptcy court. To secure its release from a storage facility in Newark, N.J., Ms. Chastain would have to pay $250 — plus shipping. “Thank goodness I have another one,” she jokes.

Several celebrity sports items were grabbed in the bankruptcy case, among them Tony Hawk’s childhood skateboard and Richard Petty’s sunglasses. They had all been on loan to New York’s Sports Museum of America, which recently declared Chapter 7 bankruptcy. If the celebrities don’t claim them, they’ll be auctioned. Hawk is not amused. And he ain’t getting his board back like this.

Chinese students learn English by imitating PTI with Kornheiser and Wilbon.



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How we got Swine Flu

Baby dies after breastfeeding on drunk mother’s milk / MosNews.com

The Russian Prosecutor’s Office is investigating the death of a four-month-old baby that allegedly died after being poisoned by the alcohol-loaded milk of his drunk mother in Saransk, Siberia. The 28-year-old mother, who has a severe drinking problem, reportedly drank half a liter of pure alcohol mixed with water, and then breastfed her baby son three times before sobering up. The next morning, the child was found dead in his bed, RIA Novosti reports.

Russian man survives drinking 8 bottles of vodka / MosNews.com

A Russian man has miraculously survived drinking eight bottles of vodka. The percentage of alcohol in his blood was at least twice the lethal dose. Pavel Kondratyev, 39, was found unconscious in the street of Yekaterinburg city in Russia’s Ural Mountains and taken to hospital, Life.ru website reports Friday. The doctors suspected a head trauma, but the test proved different. The man’s blood tests showed that he had drunk at least four liters, or eight bottles of vodka.

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Breaking News … Broken News

Filed under: Hardly Newsworthy, Humor — Tags: , — webadmin @ 3:39 am


 

Benton County jailer accused of impersonating deputy

William J. Reese, 58, of Newhall, was charged Monday with impersonating a police officer and two counts of disorderly conduct. Reese is a civilian jailer employed by the Benton County Sheriff’s Office and was on-duty in that capacity when the incident took place. Vinton police say that about 3:25 p.m. May 1, while operating a fully marked Benton County Sheriff’s Office patrol vehicle, Reese attempted to initiate a traffic stop on another vehicle just south of Vinton on Hwy 218. The other vehicle was operated by an off-duty full-time Benton County Sheriff’s deputy who was aware that Reese had no lawful authority to act as a peace officer. The full-time deputy proceeded to his home and called 911 while Reese pursued at high rates of speed in the marked Benton County Sheriff’s Office vehicle, passing through school zones as Vinton-Shellsburg schools were dismissing. When the full-time deputy arrived at his residence, Reese exited the patrol vehicle and began using loud and profane language and threatening gestures directed at the full-time deputy, as school children passed by. The entire incident was captured on the in-car video system inside the vehicle Reese was operating. In addition to the three criminal charges, Reese also will be cited for unauthorized use of emergency lighting and three counts of speeding as much as 35 miles per hour over the posted speed limit. Vinton police want to assure the public that at this point, this appears to involve a single individual and the public should not have any concerns about stopping for any law enforcement vehicle as a result of this incident. Reese is scheduled to make his initial appearance in Benton County Magistrate Court on Wednesday.

Inmate On Cigarette Run, Caught Sneaking Back Into Jail

CAMDEN COUNTY, GA — Officials say an inmate sneaked out of confinement early Saturday for a cigarette run at a nearby convenience store, and got caught as he was sneaking back into the jail. Camden County Sheriff Tommy Gregory tells First Coast News 25-year-old Harry Jackson of St. Marys broke out of the Camden County jail at 1:55 a.m. The sheriff says Jackson got help from other inmates to use a bent wire from a broom to bypass electronic locks on a back door. Jail officials had spotted suspicious activity on surveillance video, prompting an emergency headcount, so they immediately set out on Jackson’s trail. Shortly thereafter, a burglary alarm went off at a nearby convenience store. Shirtless after taking off part of his uniform Jackson smashed the front door at Snappy Foods store and grabbed 14 packs of cigarettes, then took off. Around 3 a.m. blood hounds spotted Jackson trying to get back into the jail. “He must have done it because he really wanted to smoke …I’ve never had an inmate try to sneak back into the jail.” Sheriff Gregory says he hasn’t seen anything like it. He adds that his new no-smoking policy may have had something to do with it. “They say smoking is a hard habit to kick, well if they’re willing to break out of jail and back in jail for fourteen packs of cigarettes, I tend to believe them,” says Gregory. Gregory says jail officials had heard rumors that inmates were sneaking out this way, but Jackson was the first person they caught. The sheriff says a county engineer was already on schedule to come out Monday, to weld plates over the locks. Jackson’s prior convictions include cocaine charges, violation of probation, and obstruction of an officer. He will face further charges of Escape and Burglary.

Gong’an county government tells officials ’smoke or be fined’ | The Australian

OFFICIALS in a county in central China have been told to smoke nearly a quarter million packs of locally made cigarettes annually or risk being fined, state media reports. The Gong’an county government in Hubei province has ordered its staff to puff their way through 230,000 packs of Hubei-produced cigarette brands a year, the Global Times said. Departments that fail to meet their targets will be fined, according to the report. “The regulation will boost the local economy via the cigarette tax,” said Chen Nianzu, a member of the Gong’an cigarette market supervision team, according to the paper. The measure could also be a ploy to aid local cigarette brands such as Huanghelou, which are under severe pressure from competitors in neighbouring Hunan province, according to the paper. China has 350 million smokers, of whom a million die of smoking-related diseases every year. More than half of all male doctors in China smoke, but the government is now trying harder to get them to kick the habit in order to set an example for others, state media reported recently.

Proof is in the pudding after messy vandal arrested | Metro.co.uk

A man is suspected of being behind a series of burglaries in which apartments were vandalised with chocolate pudding and spray paint, after he was caught by police covered in silver paint and chocolate syrup. Authorities say that Hipolito Junior Vasquez broke into three apartments occupied by students at Lehigh University in Bethlehem, Pennsylvania. He allegedly stole a variety of items, including a crate of beer and some frozen chicken breasts, then spread chocolate pudding over the floor. He also sprayed insulting graffiti on the walls, including – according to the website of the local Express-Times newspaper – the oddly Chaucerian phrase ‘LHU Suckes’.

Girl allegedly finds condom in ‘Happy Meal’ – Weird news- msnbc.com

FRIBOURG, Switzerland – Swiss police said they are investigating a 7-year-old girl’s discovery of a condom in her McDonald’s Happy Meal. Fribourg state police said the mother called them after the girl discovered the condom among her French fries. Police said Monday they were investigating where the condom came from and how it got into the Happy Meal. They said an analysis was being done to determine if the condom posed a health risk. Story continues below ?advertisement | your ad here McDonald’s in Switzerland declined to comment because of the ongoing investigation.

Asked to leave, man urinates on bar

Oh, classy guy. Graham Brunson, 21 was causing a disturbance at the Naple’s Bayfront Inn. He was doing the usual obnoxious drunk routine –yelling obscenities and disturbing customers at the bar, according to an arrest report. When security asked him to leave, reports say Brunson unzipped his pants and urinated at the bar, reports the Naples Daily News. Guess he really wanted a pissing match.

Except when cops arrived, Brunson ran. Four cops searching for him found Brunson hiding in the bushes about a quarter-mile from the bar. Brunson then attempted to punch and kick a cop. Judging from his mug shot that was a BIG mistake.

Afghanistan’s only pig

KABUL (Reuters) – Afghanistan’s only known pig has been locked in a room, away from visitors to Kabul zoo where it normally grazes beside deer and goats, because people are worried it could infect them with the virus popularly known as swine flu. The pig is a curiosity in Muslim Afghanistan, where pork and pig products are illegal because they are considered irreligious, and has been in quarantine since Sunday after visitors expressed alarm it could spread the new flu strain. “For now the pig is under quarantine, we built it a room because of swine influenza,” Aziz Gul Saqib, director of Kabul Zoo, told Reuters. “We’ve done this because people are worried about getting the flu.” Worldwide, more than 1,000 people have been infected with the virus, according to the World Health Organization, which also says 26 people have so far died from the strain. All but one of the deaths were in Mexico, the epicenter of the outbreak.

There are no pig farms in Afghanistan and no direct civilian flights between Kabul and Mexico. “We understand that, but most people don’t have enough knowledge. When they see the pig in the cage they get worried and think that they could get ill,” Saqib said. The pig was a gift to the zoo from China, which itself quarantined some 70 Mexicans, 26 Canadians and four Americans in the past week, but later released them. Some visitors were not concerned about the fate of the pig and said locking it away was probably for the best. “Influenza is quite contagious and if it passes between people and animals then there’s no need for the pig to be here,” zoo visitor Farzana said.

Shabby and rundown, Kabul Zoo is a far cry from zoos in the developed world, but has nevertheless come a long way since it suffered on the front line of Afghanistan’s 1992-4 civil war. Mujahideen fighters then ate the deer and rabbits and shot dead the zoo’s sole elephant. Shells shattered the aquarium. One fighter climbed into the lion enclosure but was immediately killed by Marjan, the zoo’s most famous inhabitant. The man’s brother returned the next day and lobbed a hand grenade at the lion leaving him toothless and blind. The zoo now holds two lions who replaced Marjan who died of old age in 2002 as well as endangered local leopards. In all, it houses 42 species of birds and mammals and 36 types of fish and attracts up to 10,000 visitors on weekends.

Stormy Daniels visits Baton Rouge – WAFB Channel 9, Baton Rouge, LA |

BATON ROUGE, LA (WAFB) -Adult film star Stormy Daniels kicked off her bid to unseat U.S. Senator David Vitter Wednesday in Baton Rouge. Daniels handled multiple questions from the media during her “listening tour”. Daniels stopped short of saying she was definitely running against Vitter, saying only that she was “drafted” to do so. Daniels is one of the biggest adult movie stars. She says if she runs she will no longer be in adult films. “I’ve worked very hard to become at the top of my industry and becoming as successful as I can. Um I am stopping performing because I am at the age that I said I was gonna stop. The two things are not related and I just feel like with all the encouragement and support I have to sound cheesy but maybe its my duty. ” The draft Stormy group says they have been labeled as a “cheap political stunt” by the old Louisiana status quo. She will be in New Orleans Wednesday for a similar appearence.

Pilot’s miracle escape as plane crash lands … on a pile of Portaloos | Mail Online

With his plane stalling at 150 feet, and no time to return to the runway, the pilot of a Cessna 182 was probably in need of the toilet. Luckily, he found a whole pile of them, and the crash landing on top of piles of portable loos probably saved his life. The Cessna 182 crashed on Friday afternoon in Washington state after taking off from Thun Field, an airfield owned by Pierce County southeast of Tacoma. The plane was about 150 feet (45 meters) in the air when the engine quit. Sheriff’s spokesman Ed Troyer said the pilot tried to turn around to land but didn’t quite make it. The plane hit a fence, flipped over and landed upside down on top of the portable toilets standing in a storage yard. The pilot, whose identity has not been released, was able to walk away apparently unharmed.

Aussie burglar stuck on roof, rescued by police

SYDNEY (Reuters) – A man trying to rob a factory in Sydney got stuck on its slippery, steep roof in pouring rain, triggering a three-hour rescue operation by police and firefighters in the early hours of Sunday. New South Wales state police said in a statement a rescue unit tried to reach the man, three storeys above ground, but it was too risky to climb onto the roof in the rain. Firefighters then tried to get to the man with a ladder, but couldn’t reach him. Another truck with a longer ladder was brought in while a police helicopter was used to light the area. After his rescue the man was found to be carrying items including a helmet with a light, bolt cutters, a small ladder, backpack, tarpaulin, ropes and harnesses, police said. The 53-year-old has been charged with an attempted break-in. He was refused bail.

Porn scandal shakes Swedish airport agency – The Local

Sweden’s airport authority is reeling after an investigation into computer network problems revealed that several employees were surfing pornographic websites while on the job. Seven workers from the LFV Group have been fired, while another worker has quit after being reported to police for suspected violations of Sweden’s anti-child pornography laws. “This is an awful story and I’m both shocked and disappointed,” said LFV Group head Lars Rekke to the TT news agency. The porn site surfing was uncovered following an LFV investigation into why the agency’s computer network seemed to be so slow. As a part of the probe, LFV performed a more detailed analysis of internet traffic on the agency’s computers and found a large amount of traffic directed toward pornographic websites, including at least one site featuring child pornography.

According to Rekke, the employees’ porn surfing habits don’t appear to be a part of any organized activity. “They worked in different facilities throughout the country, from Luleå in the north and southwards. We’re talking about various islands of activity,” he said. According to LFV’s investigation, the employees had spent sizeable portions of their workdays visiting various pornographic websites. “It was between 25 and 75 percent of the workday,” said LFV spokesperson Lars Röhne to the Aftonbladet newspaper. He said it’s not possible to discern whether the LFV employees were actively surfing the entire time or if they were downloading material while completing other, work-related tasks.

The Associated Press: Calif. men accused of smuggling songbirds

LOS ANGELES (AP) — A man was charged Tuesday with smuggling songbirds into the United States by hiding more than a dozen of them in an elaborate, custom-tailored pair of leggings during a flight from Vietnam to Los Angeles. Sony Dong, 46, was arrested at Los Angeles International Airport in March after an inspector spotted bird feathers and droppings on his socks and tail feathers peeking out from under his pants, prosecutors said. “He had fashioned these special cloth devices to hold the birds,” said U.S. attorney spokesman Thom Mrozek. “They were secured by cloth wrappings and attached to his calves with buttons.” Authorities later linked Dong’s scheme to Duc Le, who was arrested after investigators searched his Orange County home and found 51 songbirds in an outdoor aviary. Both are charged with conspiracy in an eight-count federal indictment. The songbirds sell for $10 to $30 in Vietnam and are sold to collectors in the United States for about $400, Mrozek said. “They’re rare and there are collectors who are willing to pay top dollar for these things,” he said. U.S. Fish and Wildlife inspectors flagged Dong for inspection because he had abandoned a suitcase containing 18 birds at the Los Angeles airport in December, Mrozek said. Five of the birds died in transit. Dong returned to Vietnam in February to pick up more birds and returned a month later with three red-whiskered bul-buls, four magpie robins and six shama thrush under his pants, prosecutors said. The birds are now in quarantine and could be donated to a zoo if they are healthy.

Dad accused of using dog shock collar on his kids | Stuff.co.nz

An Oregon father has been accused of using a dog shock collar on his four children. Salem Police Lieutenant Dave Okada said the 41-year-old man was jailed Tuesday on charges of criminal mistreatment. He said the father acknowledged putting the electronic dog collar on his four children and shocking all of them at least once. According to Okada, the father didn’t do it as a punishment. Rather, he thought it was funny. The children, all younger than 10, are in the custody of their mother. The case has been referred to state Department of Human Services.

Man accidently kills wife with chainsaw

OTSEGO, Mich. (WOOD) – Investigators say Deb Daniels was likely trying to help her husband roll a log out of the way when the chainsaw he was using accidentally cut her neck. “Autopsy results and the husband’s story are consistent,” says Allegan County Sheriff’s Lt. Frank Baker. Baker says Jerry Daniels was cutting a log at the couple’s Otsego home, 765 Woodlea Drive in Otsego, Sunday afternoon when his wife came up behind him. Lt. Baker says Jerry would not have heard his wife, who likely kneeled down to help him roll the cut log away. When he pulled the saw from the log it came back and caught Deb in the neck, according to Baker. “I heard a cry for help, so I came outside and at that time I saw what was going on, and I rendered as much aid as I possibly could,” said David Labonte, a neighbor and deputy for the Allegan County Sheriff’s Department. “I’m glad that based on my position that I was the one that was the first to respond.” But nothing could help the 39-year-old woman. She bled to death at the scene. Investigators have ruled the incident as accidental. The tragedy is being felt throughout the Allegan County government. Deb Daniels was the county’s human resource director. “Deb was clearly committed to working and living in the community she served,” said Allegan County Administrator Rob Sarro. “Deb’s warm friendly personality touched those around her,” Sarro said in an e-mail to county employees. “And she will be sorely missed.” Daniels joined the county in 2003. She was promoted the HR director in 2006. “Deb built a very close team here at the County,” says Sarro. “She will be forever missed, but her contributions will not be forgotten.” Funeral arrangements are still pending.

Gun vs. sword standoff ends with neighbor slain | KATU.com – Portland, Oregon | News

ST. HELENS, Ore. – A confrontation in St. Helens between two friends – one armed with a handgun and the other armed with a sword – ended Saturday night with the sword-wielding man suffering from what turned out to be a lethal gunshot wound, authorities said. The two men, who were next-door neighbors, had golfed together during the day, but investigators were not sure what sparked an argument in the evening, according to St. Helens police Sgt. Rick Graham. About 11:30 p.m., Graham said 43-year-old Todd Edward Marchant brought a 9mm handgun over to the home of 28-year-old Everett Briley and started threatening his friend. Briley then grabbed a sword, and the two confronted each other in Briley’s front yard, located near the intersection of North 2nd and Lemont streets, Graham said. Marchant fired before Briley ever swung the sword, Graham said. The bullet entered the man’s chest and passed through him. He was taken to a Portland hospital, where he later died, Graham said. Police said two neighbors held Marchant while someone called police. Marchant was taken to the Columbia County jail, where he was being held without bond on a criminal homicide charge on Sunday. Investigators believe alcohol played a factor in the incident. Marchant was convicted of DUII last month, his second such conviction, KATU has learned. The two families had no past history of fights, practically shared their yards and even attended the same church. Rick Snider, a St. Helens resident, said his niece was engaged with Briley and was raising two little boys with him. “Everett is a super nice guy,” Snider said. “I mean, not a very angry person, just down to earth. Got two little boys. And it’s just sad to see. The kids are really gonna take it hard.” He said his niece is no longer living in the home and doesn’t know if she can ever return.

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April 21, 2009

Har Har Hardy Har Har

Filed under: Hardly Newsworthy, Humor — Tags: , — webadmin @ 6:40 pm


 

Omaha.com Metro/Region Section

LINCOLN — University of Nebraska-Lincoln police began investigating hazing at Sigma Chi fraternity after a pledge alleged he was anally penetrated with a vibrator at an initiation event, according to court documents unsealed Tuesday in Lancaster County District Court. The act allegedly was performed by a stripper at the instigation of active members of the fraternity during a party at a house located off-campus. The pledge told police he was handcuffed and blindfolded at the time. UNL police on Monday cited eight members of the Sigma Chi fraternity on misdemeanor charges alleging hazing and procuring alcohol to minors. The misdemeanor charges did not include sexual assault allegations. However, Police Capt. Carl Oestmann said the investigation continues. According to documents relating to a search warrant and a sworn statement, police found evidence corroborating at least part of the pledge’s account, including a letter to a national fraternity official explaining the incident.

Half-naked driver arrested nine months after crash | year, fort, report – News – Northwest Florida Daily News

FORT WALTON BEACH — A 57-year-old Fort Walton Beach man was arrested nearly a year after he drove off of a dead end road and rolled his vehicle into the perimeter security fence for Hurlburt Field, according to his arrest report. He was charged with DUI property damage, driving with a suspended licence and financial responsiblity for property damage for the June 3, 2008 crash. He was extremely intoxicated and was going in and out of consciousness when rescue workers arrived on scene. He was also naked from the waist down and had defecated in the drivers seat, according to his Okaloosa County Sheriffs Office arrest report. The deputy obtained his medical records from the hospital and learned that his blood alcohol content was .443, more than four times the legal limit.

Suspected bank robber burned by dye packs exploding in his pants – 4/20/09 – Houston News – abc13.com

Last Thursday, a man walked into the Wachovia Bank in the 2700 block of Smith and reportedly told the teller he had a gun and ordered her to give him money. Fearing for her life, the teller gave the man some cash bundles with exploding dye packs in them. The suspect stuffed the money down his pants and ran out of the bank. Police arrested Daniel Duran a short time later, after the dye packs exploded while still allegedly down his pants. Duran was taken to an area hospital with second degree burns to his genital area. No weapon was found.

Trial told of escort’s deadly rage – Front Page – Top Stories – NZ Herald News

A jealous prostitute killed her lover in a “deliberate and brutal” knife attack after he admitted cheating on her with other escorts, a court has heard. Dionne Liza Neale, 39, is accused of murdering 38-year-old advertising executive Reece John Shadbolt in his Parnell apartment on Waitangi Day two years ago. In the High Court at Auckland yesterday, prosecutor Kevin Glubb said Neale stabbed Mr Shadbolt nine times with a carving knife in an assault that began in the shower.

BBC NEWS | Asia-Pacific | Snakes escape on Qantas flight

An Australian airliner was grounded after four baby pythons escaped from their container in the aircraft’s hold. The snakes, just six inches long, were among 12 Stimson’s pythons being flown from Alice Springs to Melbourne. At first it was thought the reptiles may have been eaten by the other snakes, but this was discounted after they were weighed on landing. Passengers were transferred to other aircraft. The jet was fumigated but the snakes’ bodies are yet to be found. “They’re not endangered so a decision was made to fumigate…if these snakes turn up they will be very much dead snakes,” David Epstein of Qantas said. It is not known how the snakes – which can grow up to a metre in length – escaped from their container. They were being transported in the cargo hold of the aircraft in a bag inside a plastic foam box with air holes. The passenger aircraft returned to service on Wednesday.

Lotto winner seeks to open nude ranch

BROOKSVILLE, Fla. – You’ve heard of nude beaches, but how about a nude dude ranch? Tim Clements hit a $3.3 million jackpot in 2004, and wants to return to the farm life he grew up in. Clements and David Jennings, co-owner of the ranch, said the farm is secluded enough to be in the buff. But they have two big problems — local zoning laws and a nudity ban in Hernando County. Clements said they’ll try to get the necessary paperwork, but if they can’t get approval he’ll close the CJ Ranch again to all but friends. Though their Web site says clothing is optional, there is a caveat: Everyone “must wear pants and boots to ride the horses.”

Mom leaves child alone in car to have sex :: CHICAGO SUN-TIMES :: Metro & Tri-State

(SOUTH HOLLAND) A Florida woman is charged with endangering the life of a child for allegedly leaving her 4-year-old son alone in a car so she could have sex in south suburban South Holland. Leslie Foster, 18, of Jacksonville, Fla., was arrested on the 14700 block of West Riverside Drive in South Holland just before 2 a.m. Monday, according to South Holland police. Foster allegedly left her 4-year-old son in one car while she went to have sex in another car, police said. The boy wanted his mother, so he got out of the car and walked down the street knocking on doors until the resident of one home let him in and called 911, police said. The boy was not harmed. Foster was able to post bail and is scheduled to appear in court May 29 at the Markham Courthouse.

Dallas – Unfair Park – Local Creationists Create Mammoth Lawsuit Over State’s Refusal to Allow Grad Degrees

For those with a little free time this morning, the Institute for Creation Research filed an 80-page complaint in Dallas federal court at the end of last week claiming that the Texas Higher Education Coordinating Board has done violated its constitutional rights, including freedom of speech, freedom of the press and freedom of religious exercise. For starters. Why come? Says the suit, when the THECB — of which Raymund Paredes, Ph.D. serves as commish — decided last year not to let the Royal Lane-based joint hand out master’s degrees in science, they “perpetrated viewpoint discrimination and censorship.”

High School Cheer Coach Fired After Posing Nude – cbs13.com

ORANGEVALE, Calif. (CBS13) ? She posed nude and now she is out of a job. CBS13 went to Casa Robles High School to find out about the cheerleading coach turned Playboy centerfold. “The girls are supposed to look up their coaches,” says one concerned parent. She bared all, all over the internet. Casa Robles High School officials in Orangevale confirm with CBS13 that their girl’s cheerleading coach, Carlie Christine, was the one who posed nude in a playboy centerfold. Christine is also Playboy’s ‘cyber girl of the week.’ (NSFW)

For obvious reasons we can only show a few of many provocative poses from Playboy. Parents and some students, who did not want to be identified, exposed the coach to school officials after rumors started slowly getting out that she had posed nude. “I think it’s unacceptable. It’s not fair,” says Jamye Curtis. What apparently uncovered the coach was when some girls didn’t make the cheerleading squad because they had a few unexcused absences from school. Their parents then made copies of Christine and dropped the pictures on the principal’s desk.

Christine was then fired from her position at Casa Robles High School. “And I was in shock that I knew the girls had seen it and knew about it,” a parent told CBS13. A lot of parents and faculty are talking and looking. “The whole football team has seen it,” says one parent.

Woman bares chest to deputy during DUI stop

SPRING HILL – Authorities made several DUI arrests over the weekend, including a woman who bared her chest to a deputy and a suspect who crashed head-on into a parked car. The weekend started around 9 p.m. Friday when a deputy was sent to the intersection of Cortez Boulevard and Commercial Way to investigate multiple reports of a reckless driver. On arrival, the deputy saw traffic driving around a black Mercedes stopped at the intersection. The car was pulled over at Commercial Way and Country Lane and as the deputy stepped out of his cruiser, he noticed the Mercedes was in reverse gear.

Despite the deputy’s shouts to “stop,” the Mercedes continued its path into the cruiser’s front bumper. As the car’s driver, Tina Lopez, 49, stepped out of the car, she grabbed the deputy’s arm multiple times to keep her balance, according to a report. Lopez showed other signs of intoxication, so she was asked to perform field sobriety tests, which she reportedly failed. The suspect was arrested on suspicion of DUI and, while the deputy waited for backup, “felt it necessary” to expose her chest, a report states. She was taken to the county jail on charges of DUI and DUI with property damage, where she reportedly supplied a blood alcohol level of .111 and .108. Florida law presumes intoxication at .08.

I fathered child when still Catholic bishop, president confesses – Scotsman.com News

PARAGUAY’S president, Fernando Lugo, admitted yesterday he is the father of a child conceived while he was still a Roman Catholic bishop. Mr Lugo surprised journalists by acknowledging that he had an intimate relationship with Viviana Carrillo, the child’s mother, just five days after lawyers for Ms Carrillo announced they were filing a paternity suit against him.”Here and now, before my people and my conscience, I declare with absolute honesty and a sense of duty and transparency in relation to the controversy provoked by the paternity suit, that there was a relationship with Viviana Carrillo,” he said. “I assume all responsibilities… and recognise the paternity of the child,” Mr Lugo said, promising to protect the boy’s privacy. The president said he would not comment further, but would instead focus on his presidency.

Ms Carrillo’s lawyer, Claudio Kostinchok, said he was pleased at the announcement. “By recognising that he is the father of the child, he proves us right,” Mr Kostinchok said. “We didn’t invent anything.” Mr Lugo, 57, resigned in 2004 as bishop of San Pedro, capital of San Pedro province, the poorest region in the country. Ms Carrillo is from the province. In December 2006, he said he was renouncing the status of bishop to run for president. But it was not until 31 July last year that Pope Benedict XVI gave him permission to resign, relieving him of his chastity vows. The Vatican had insisted during the 2008 presidential campaign that Mr Lugo would always be a bishop under Church law. Mr Kostinchok says the boy was born on 4 May, 2007, and was named after Mr Lugo’s grandfather, Guillermo Armindo. Ms Carrillo is now 26, but her intimate relationship with Mr Lugo reportedly began when she was just 16.

Library finds urine saturating 41 books | Fox10tv.com

BAY MINETTE, Ala. – Disgusting is the best way to describe what library workers found on Wednesday. “This is a filthy and despicable act of vandalism,” said Mayor Jamie Tillery. Empty shelves show where the books were located in the Bay Minette Public Library. Workers say someone urinated on 41 books. Mayor Tillery says the incident is sickening. “It is criminal in nature and it shows a disrespect towards the city, the library, and the citizens of this community,” said Tillery.

It was three hours before closing when the discovery was made. The library worker was straightening books when she realized they were stuck together. When she pulled them apart, she immediately smelled the scent. She recognized the smell and went straight for her gloves. Pictures taken just after the discovery show workers attempting to use alcohol to salvage the books, but that didn’t work. It appears all of the books are ruined.

P.J. Ikner goes to the library often to read the Bible. He also likes to visit the religion section for other material and that’s the same place where the incident happened. “It’s filthy. It’s real filthy of them. Even them doing it in the religious section, so its real filthy,” said Ikner. “The perpetrator will be found and will be prosecuted,” Tillery added. Prosecuted for a crime that is totally unacceptable. The library is working to upgrade its security system, so incidents like this will be caught on video.

Monkey, missing for 6 weeks, captured in Fla.

FRUITLAND PARK, Fla. – He spent six weeks on the lam from the circus, but Reggie the spider monkey has been captured with the help of junk food. Reggie had performed for the Liebel Family Circus for years, but he escaped on March 13 when the troupe did a show at a central Florida flea market. A search for the monkey came up empty-handed. He was spotted a few weeks ago in a nearby neighborhood, looking lonely and scared but otherwise healthy. But a dog frightened him away before residents there could attract him with some food. Then on Monday, Reggie was seen hanging from a tree at a mobile home park. Neighbors fed him Coke, potato chips and Twinkies until the circus owner Tom Liebel came to grab him.

Young girls walk in on four people having sex in restaurant bathroom

The parents of two young girls say their daughters walked into a downtown restaurant bathroom and saw four people having sex. Their parents are so disturbed, they want all parents to be aware. “They saw two women servicing two men in the restroom,” Robert Schumann says. “Eleven years old is still not old enough to learn about such things as that.” “My 11-year-old asked me, ‘How come two women were coming out of the bathroom and why were two guys in there?” Melissa Schumann, the girls’ mother, says. “And they were making funny noises.’”

The Schumann’s contacted the managers at Taco Bell and suggested they lock the doors. “She turned around and told me they used to lock the bathrooms because of this very issue but she was told to keep them unlocked because of all the complaints they got about the doors being locked,” Robert says. Taco Bell Spokesperson, Rob Poetsch, sent a statement that reads: “The safety of our customers is our number one priority, and although this is an isolated incident, we’re having self-locking doors installed as a precautionary measure.”

Newscenter 16 went into the Taco Bell Thursday and found a note on the bathroom doors asking customers to get a key from the counter and lock the door behind them. But we were able to walk into the women’s room without a key. Once we spoke to a manager, she locked the doors right in front of us. “It’s scary because now I don’t want to send my children to the bathroom by themselves and my 11-year-old doesn’t want to be treated like a child,” Melissa explains. “She wants to feel grown up. I can’t do that now.”

“I was fuming. I was angry. I was upset. I was concerned,” Robert says. He is pleased now the restaurant is taking action and installing locks to prevent people from wandering in. South Bend police say public sex happens very often and in many places. They say they’ve gotten calls from this Taco Bell before, as well as other fast food restaurants, bars, cars, parks and almost any public place. But police say by the time they arrive, those having sex are either gone or not committing the act anymore. Still, the Schumanns never thought having lunch at noon on a Saturday would turn so disturbing. “We see police there all the time…eating there. And I figure, all right, police have made themselves known there so it should be relatively safe,” Melissa explains. “Nothing can really happen here. Oh, I was so wrong. I was so wrong.”

Reverend accused of taping minors’ sex acts

BELLE GLADE, FL — A Belle Glade minister is facing four felony counts after pornographic DVDs were obtained by the Palm Beach County Sheriff’s Office identifying him and several minors on video. According to a probable cause affidavit by the Palm Beach County Sheriff’s Office, Reverend James Richard Harris is accused of videotaping juveniles performing sexual acts with one another on several occasions at Harris’s home in Belle Glade.

POW Benefits Exceed POWs

El Paso, TX. – Prisoners of war suffer in ways most veterans don’t, enduring humiliating forced marches, torture or other trauma that may haunt them long afterward. In partial recompense, the government extends them special benefits, from free parking and tax breaks to priority in medical treatment. Trouble is, some of the much-admired recipients of these benefits apparently don’t deserve them. There are only 21 surviving POWs from the first Gulf War in 1991, the Department of Defense says. Yet the Department of Veterans Affairs is paying disability benefits to 286 service members it says were taken prisoner during that conflict, according to data released by VA to The Associated Press. A similar discrepancy arises with Vietnam POWs. Only 661 officially recognized prisoners returned from that war alive – and about 100 of those have since died, according to Defense figures. But 966 purported Vietnam POWs are getting disability payments, the VA told AP.

Pop Tarts fight leads to stabbing

An argument about Pop Tarts led a woman to stab her boyfriend in the chest with a steak knife today, Lakeland police say. Officers arrived today at 210 Lake Hollingsworth Road, No. 4, and saw 18-year-old Catheline Marie Colon cleaning blood from the floor. Investigators said Colon had lived with her boyfriend, 19-year-old Shawn Andrews, for about three months. Colon had moved out but returned to collect belongings. “She wanted to get a Pop Tart, and he said she couldn’t have anything,” police spokesman Jack Gillen said. Gillen said Andrews pushed and hit Colon, and she stabbed him in the chest, causing a severe wound. Andrews’ friend took him to a Lakeland hospital. His condition wasn’t immediately known. “At this time, he hasn’t been charged, and he did suffer a severe chest wound, and she apparently did not have any marks on her body,” Gillen said. “He refused to give us a witness statement, and he said he did not want her arrested. But we obviously arrested her.” Colon was charged with aggravated battery with a deadly weapon and tampering with evidence. Her bail hadn’t been set today.

School: Ohio teacher took students to strip club

HAMILTON, Ohio (AP) — A school spokesman said a southwest Ohio teacher has resigned after acknowledging she accompanied four female students to a male strip club. Butler Tech school district spokesman Bill Solazzo said the 47-year-old teacher resigned Thursday. He said the teacher told Edgewood High School administrators that the students, all cheerleaders, asked her to take them to the bar in February. The teacher told school officials in an e-mail that she got permission from the parents of the 17- and 18-year-olds to bring them to the club. The teacher taught marketing at the school and previously served as a coach for the district’s eighth-grade cheerleaders.

Man, 62, Sues for $125G Saying Ohio Police Made Him Walk Home in Polar Bear Pajamas

CINCINNATI — A Cincinnati-area man is suing two suburban police departments, saying he was falsely arrested and then humiliated when he had to walk through his neighborhood in pajamas with polar bears on them. In a suit filed Wednesday in Hamilton County, 62-year-old James Williams says he was getting a document from his pickup truck in his driveway when he was arrested and forced to the ground. The former firefighter says he was an innocent bystander in the investigation of a man who had crashed his car nearby. The lawsuit says Williams was taken to a gas station where a man had stolen gasoline and that he was held in a police cruiser for about 20 minutes. Williams says he had to walk home in his pajamas when he was released. He’s asking at least $125,000 from the departments and officers involved.

Man Gets DWI on Steamroller

steamrollerPFLUGERVILLE, Texas – A Pflugerville man is arrested for driving home a piece of construction equipment, police say while intoxicated. FOX 7 News first reported this in October, now Pflugerville Police are releasing the video. A patrol officer spotted the road roller at four in the morning, driving down Immanuel Street. “The vehicle was actually weaving. There were no flagmen, no lights on it. It was dark and it was a dangerous situation,” Asst. Chief Jim McLean said. The officer put on his lights, and pulled the driver the equipment over. The driver– 32 year old Ronald Howell– told the officer he was walking from Players Night Club and Tuffs Tavern. He took the Dynapac Vibrator Roller from a construction site at F.M. 1825, and started driving it home. “The officer smelled alcohol on his person,” McLean said. Howell was given a series of sobriety tests, which police say he failed. He was arrested for DWI, driving with an invalid license and felony theft, for stealing the roller valued at $180,000. “When the officer was talking to him, the only explanation he could get was that it was cold outside, he’s driving it because it was cold, trying to get home. During an officer’s career, I would say that’s a normal contact they would have,” McLean said. A judge ordered Howell deferred adjudication on the criminal charges.

KSTP TV – Minneapolis and St. Paul – Man injured after falling off Cedar Ave Bridge

BLOOMINGTON, Minn. (AP) – Police in Bloomington say a 23-year-old man is in stable condition after he pretended that he was falling off a bridge over the Minnesota River, then actually fell off the bridge. Police got a call just before 5 a.m. Sunday from a 21-year-old man who said his friend fell off the Highway 77 bridge and into a marshy area about 30 feet below. The caller said he was driving north when his friend, who he said had been drinking, told him to pull into the bridge’s emergency lane so he could urinate.

The 23-year-old eventually climbed to the ledge of the bridge, then looked at his friend and pretended to fall. “He then in fact fell,” reads a press release from the Bloomington Police Department. Police from Bloomington and Eagan responded, and the Eagan Fire Department used a chair lift to retrieve the man. He was transported to Hennepin County Medical Center where he’s being treated for serious injuries.

Man charged for inciting pillow fight

BURLINGTON, Vt. – A pillow fight organized as a “flash mob” event drew about 50 participants, and police charged one of them with disorderly conduct. The incident Friday outside Burlington Town Center mall lasted about two minutes, part of a fad in which people – after organizing online – suddenly materialize in a public place and do something strange. Twenty-one-year-old Darin Cassler, of Burlington, who helped plan the event, blew a whistle to start the pillow fight and blew it again to signal the end. He’s been charged with disorderly conduct and could get 60 days in jail and a $500 fine. But county prosecutor T.J. Donovan told the Burlington Free Press the arrest may be much ado about nothing.

Mom Arrested After Kicking Bickering Kids To Curb – wcbstv.com

SCARSDALE, N.Y. (CBS) ? Did a Westchester mother go too far when she kicked her kids to the curb and drove away? No doubt many parents have threatened it. But few actually do it. “Sometimes you say you’re going to kick them out of the car, but you don’t do it,” said Scarsdale mother Elinor Gutierrez. But police said 45-year-old Madlyn Primoff did. She’s accused of kicking her fighting daughters out of her car in White Plains and driving off Sunday evening. She allegedly circled the block a few times, lost sight of the 100 and 12-year-olds, but then drove to her multi-million dollar home in Scarsdale. “They’re lovely people, it sounds extraordinarily out of character,” said neighbor Seth Greenberg. According to the police report, the 10-year-old was emotional as she described her mom demanding both youths exit the vehicle when they wouldn’t stop fighting. The 12-year-old was found walking home. A good Samaritan took the distraught 10-year-old to an ice cream store and called police.

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April 14, 2009

Ironically Hilarious News

Filed under: Hardly Newsworthy, Humor — Tags: , — webadmin @ 8:39 pm


 

Indianapolis woman dies trying to stop sword fight | LOCAL NEWS | WHAS11.com | News for Louisville, Kentucky

INDIANAPOLIS (AP) — A 77-year-old woman suffered a fatal stab wound while trying to break up a sword fight Thursday between her grandson and brother-in-law, police said. An autopsy determined Franziska Stegbauer died after being stabbed with one of the swords, police Sgt. Matthew Mount said. Both men were hospitalized with stab wounds. Investigators were working to find out which man’s sword caused the fatal wound, Mount said. “We’re unsure yet who started this fight, how the swordplay got involved,” Mount said. “We’re not sure who it was who stabbed the woman. We’ll have to do some testing on the swords and figure out who had which sword, whose blood is on which sword.” One of the weapons was a World War II-era Japanese officer’s sword with a thin blade, and the other had a thicker blade, Mount said. Police placed Stegbauer’s grandson, 39-year-old Chris Rondeau, under arrest on a preliminary charge of attempted murder. Stegbauer’s brother-in-law, 69-year-old Adolf Stegbauer, suffered several serious stab wounds, police said. Franziska Stegbauer was not breathing when officers arrived about 1 a.m. at the home on the city’s northwest side and she was later pronounced dead at a hospital, police said. Adolf Stegbauer was listed in critical condition at Wishard Hospital, a spokesman said. Rondeau also was taken with stab wounds to Wishard. Police said he was alert at the scene, but a condition update was not immediately available. He was being held in the hospital’s detention unit.

2nd person dies from Indianapolis sword fight | JUST POSTED | WHAS11.com | News for Louisville, Kentucky

INDIANAPOLIS (AP) — Indianapolis police say a 69-year-old man has become the second person to die from a sword fight with a younger relative. Adolf Stegbauer died Monday, four days after authorities say he was seriously injured when an argument escalated into the sword battle with 39-year-old Christopher Rondeau. Police say an autopsy determined Stegbauer died of complications from a stab wound and that his death was ruled a homicide. Authorities said Stegbauer’s sister-in-law, 77-year-old Franziska Stegbauer, was fatally stabbed while trying to break up the fight. Rondeau, who is her grandson, also was wounded. Rondeau was being held in a jail medical unit on preliminary charges of attempted murder. Police Lt. Dawn Snyder said amended charges against him were being prepared.

Wild turkey crashes Easter gathering – UPI.com

OTTAWA, April 13 (UPI) — A Canadian family gathered for Easter weekend outside the capital, Ottawa, had an unexpected guest when a 25-pound wild turkey smashed through a window. Gerry Moore told the Ottawa Sun a neighbor called to say there was a female wild turkey strutting through his backyard midday Saturday. He said he and the crowd of family rushed from the family room to a back window to watch the bird. Meanwhile, a male wild turkey, apparently seeking the female, was approaching the family room window when it saw its reflection in the window and did the typical thing courting toms do — attacked. The bird smashed through the picture window and began running flapping around the room as the family chased it, the Sun said. Eventually, it came to rest on a reclining chair and was captured, Moore said. The turkey was released into the back yard and appeared uninjured, Moore said. His wife told the Sun the decision was made to serve ham instead of turkey for the big Easter meal.

Police: Mom shot up, tried to drive with baby — themorningcall.com

A Montgomery woman apparently shot up two bags of heroin and passed out trying to drive off with her 6-month-old infant on Route 378 in Lower Saucon, police said. Police said Cori Lynn Wagner, 23, never made it out of an Exxon parking lot Thursday afternoon — or even back into her car. Wagner was found sprawled on the ground by the driver’s side, said Lower Saucon officer Timothy Schoenenberger. ”She was barely breathing,” Schoenenberger said. He said he found a needle near her body. Wagner was taken to St. Luke’s Hospital-Fountain Hill, where hospital personnel found five packets of heroin in her clothes and one-and-a-half pills of Vicodin, a painkiller, tucked under her armpit, Schoenenberger said. After she was treated and released, Wagner was arrested on drug charges. She also was charged with endangering the welfare of a child and reckless endangerment, Schoenenberger said. Wagner was sent to Northampton County Prison under $20,000 bail by District Judge Patricia Romig-Passaro.

Woman calls 911 over lack of shrimp in fried rice

HALTOM CITY, Texas – A woman called 911 to report she didn’t get as much shrimp as she wanted in her fried rice at a Texas restaurant. Haltom City police on Tuesday released the taped emergency call, in which the customer is heard telling the dispatcher, “to get a police officer up here, what has to happen?” The customer also says: “He didn’t even put extra shrimp in there.” The upset customer had left the Fort Worth-area restaurant when an officer arrived Monday afternoon. Restaurant workers say the woman had been denied a refund after leaving with her order, then returning to complain. Cook June Lee says nothing was wrong with the meal, and that “some customers are happy. Some are not.”

Trumpeting city’s elephantine error – Scotsman.com News

A POLISH politician has criticised his local zoo after a male elephant it bought turned out to prefer male company. Michal Grzes, a councillor in Poznan, said yesterday: “We didn’t pay 37 million zlotys (£7.5 million] for the largest elephant house in Europe to have a gay elephant live there.”

Colo. rejects ‘ILVTOFU’ license plate – UPI.com

DENVER, April 8 (UPI) — The Colorado Department of Revenue rejected a woman’s request for a license plate professing her love of tofu over concerns that it could be seen as obscene. Officials said Kelley Coffman-Lee’s request for a personalized plate with the phrase “ILVTOFU” was rejected due to concerns that it could be misread as “I-LV-TO-F-U,” KMGH-TV, Denver, reported Wednesday. Coffman-Lee said she has been a vegetarian for 13 years and a vegan for the past four. “I love tofu; it doesn’t mean anything bad,” Coffman-Lee said of her license plate request. “I’m very expressive, I’m anti-fur, anti-rodeo, anti-circus when they come to Denver and I thought here’s a chance to be positive and say I love something.” “Tofu is a word, I haven’t said anything bad. I think it’s crazy they denied it,” she said. “It’s not a dirty, evil food. It’s very wholesome.” Mark Couch, spokesman for Colorado Department of Motor Vehicles, defended the decision to reject the plate. “We have nothing bad to say about (Coffman-Lee’s) love of tofu,” he said. “We’re concerned about others who may misread the plate.”

Milwaukee Green Living Examiner: Mannequins for Climate Justice shut down Bank of America

A member of the group Mannequins For Climate Justice shut down a branch of bank of America before the office was scheduled to open on March 31, 2009. It only took one protester to close the Boston Kenmore Square Bank of America Branch. The protester chained a mannequin to the doors before the bank was scheduled to open. The action was interpreted as a dangerous bomb threat. Guy Fox who carried out the demonstration, is reported to have said “Even a dummy like me can see that Bank of America’s massive loans to coal companies and support for the epidemic of foreclosures and evictions has to stop now.”
Fox says he is getting an early start on Fossil Fools Day, an international day of action that uses April 1st to ask activists to “pull a prank that packs a punch. “

Man, 114, caught with huge marijuana haul | Stuff.co.nz

Nigeria’s anti-narcotics agency confiscated 6.5 tonnes of marijuana from the home of a man who claimed to be 114 years old. The National Drug Law Enforcement Agency (NDLEA) said it had found 254 sacks of cannabis at the home of Sulaiman Adebayo in Ogun state, north of the commercial capital Lagos. “The quantity of drugs suggests a large scale involvement. . . There is more to the case than Pa Sulaiman,” NDLEA chairman Ahmadu Giade said in a statement.

Adebayo, who said he had been a farmer all his life, told police he thought the sacks contained rice. The agency said he claimed to have attended the inauguration of a famous hall in Abeokuta, the capital of Ogun state, in 1895 as a small boy and said he was 114 years old. There was no independent confirmation of his age. Marijuana is grown illegally on large-scale farms in many parts of Nigeria and is smuggled across its porous borders to neighbouring countries. Lax customs control and corruption have also made Africa’s top oil and gas producer a conduit for hard drugs from Asia and Latin America into Western markets.

Gouverneur prison worker admits sex with inmate – Newswatch50.com… We’re Always On!

The former laundry supervisor at Gouverneur Correctional Facility admits to having sex with an inmate. In St. Lawrence County Court on Monday, 42 year old Lisa Vaughn pleaded guilty to 3rd degree rape, a class E felony. She’s expected to get a sentence of probation when she’s sentenced in May. The charge was rape because prison inmates are, by law, incapable of consensual sex. Authorities said Vaughn, of Carthage, seduced a male inmate and eventually had sex with at least four male inmates between 2006 and her arrest last year. The ensuing investigation also led to the arrests of 32 year old Rachael Paterson of Ogdensburg for allegedly having oral sex with inmates; and 38 year old Laura Douglass, for alleged sex with an inmate and with passing prison contraband.

Unleashed: Seder for dogs – A blog for animal lovers on pets, dogs, cats, shelters and animal rescue – baltimoresun.com

dog sederAn Illinois-based pet food company is sponsoring a seder for dogs in a Chicago suburb to promote its line of kosher pet foods. Evanger’s Dog and Cat Food Co. of Wheeling, Ill., has been sponsoring seders around the country for the last several years, says owner Holly Sher. This Saturday the event will be held in a Lakeview, Ill., pet store with prizes given for the dog that can best sing the four questions and the dog that finds the hidden matzoh. However, in the past there has been trouble finding a winner in that contest. “None of the dogs like matzoh,” Sher says. Sher says she has never had a problem with critics saying the event is in poor taste. “If they want to criticize, don’t come,” she says. While Evanger’s Dog and Cat Food is sold in pet stores in the Baltimore area, Sher says Baltimore has never hosted a seder for dogs. Maybe next year? Photo by Joshua Lott, courtesy of Evanger’s Dog and Cat Food.

Dad hammers Wyo. teen’s phone after mega-bill – The Denver Post

CHEYENNE — In one month, a Cheyenne teenager sent 10,000 text messages and received about the same — all while her family’s plan did not include texting. That means the family’s provider — Verizon — charged them for each incoming and outgoing text message. The girl’s parents, Gregg and Jaylene Christoffersen, thought texting had been disabled, so one can imagine their surprise when they got the monthly phone bill and it asked for $4,756.25. “It just hit us like a rock, like you’re stepping into a bus,” Gregg Christoffersen said.

The bill was legit. Dena Christoffersen, 13, had apparently been sending most of these messages at school. That’s more than 300 texts within an eight-hour period every day for the whole month. Needless to say, it drew attention away from what she should have been doing: paying attention in class. “She went from A’s and B’s one semester to F’s in two months,” Dena’s dad said. Hours after the enormous bill arrived, Gregg Christoffersen took a hammer to his daughter’s phone. He and Jaylene also grounded Dena until the end of school. “I felt really bad, and I have learned my lesson,” Dena said, with her head down.

Since she lost her phone, Dena’s grades have gone up, and the texting is down to zero. As for the phone bill, the family says Verizon has been willing to knock it down to a reasonable level. The Christoffersens are asking school administrators at Johnson Junior High School to crack down on cellphone use during school.

Drunken cops harass prostitutes by throwing eggs

After some heavy drinking, three Gainesville cops late last year decided to cruise through a high-crime area and “harass the prostitutes and drug dealers.” The November incident wasn’t the first, but it was the last because they were pulled over by the on-duty officer and asked to leave the area. Now they’ve been formally warned to not do it again, according to gainesville.com.

After 2 a.m. on Nov. 9, they acquired four cartons of eggs and drove through a neighborhood throwing eggs out of their truck. According to the investigative report, a woman who is not a law enforcement officer was driving the truck. The report says the woman, as “the least intoxicated,” had offered to drive. All four officers (a University of Florida officer also was involved) acknowledged “consuming copious amounts of alcohol,” the report states.

PETA to Pet Shop Boys: Rescue Shelter Boys, perhaps? – CNN.com

LONDON, England (CNN) — Just because they named their new CD “Yes,” does not mean that British electro-pop duo, the Pet Shop Boys, will agree to just about anything. PETA has asked the Pet Shop Boys to change the band’s name to Rescue Shelter Boys. The organization, the People for the Ethical Treatment for Animals (PETA), sent a letter to Neil Tennant and Chris Lowe acknowledging that its request, at first blush, might appear “bizarre.” But, by changing its name, the band could raise awareness at every tour stop of the “cramped, filthy conditions” that breeders keep animals in before selling them to pet stores, PETA said in its letter.

The duo, which has performed under its current name for more than 20 years, reproduced PETA’s written request in full on its Web site. The musicians said they were “unable to agree” to the request “but nonetheless think (it) raises an issue worth thinking about.” The animal rights group said it was pleased the Pet Shop Boys had drawn attention to the issue by posting its letter so prominently on the band’s site. Talking about its campaign on a blog entry, a PETA staffer wrote:

“I think I may have to stick “West End Girls” on my iPod right now to celebrate.”

“West End Girls” is one of the many hits the group has had in its long career. PETA is no stranger to oddball campaigns. A recent one was aimed to re-christen fish as “sea kittens” because “who could possibly want to put a hook through a sea kitten?”

Spokane parks to detonate squirrels | KOMO News – Seattle, Washington | Local & Regional

SPOKANE, Wash. (AP) – The Finch Arboretum is being overrun by ground squirrels, and Spokane Parks and Recreation is bringing in some special artillery. The agency is using a special machine called the Rodenator Pro to detonate some of the estimated 100 to 150 squirrels tearing up the grounds. Shades of Carl Spackler, the gopher-hating groundskeeper from “Caddyshack.” The Rodenator Pro pumps propane and oxygen into the tunnels of squirrels, then sends an electric spark that causes an explosion. The shock waves kill the squirrels and collapse their tunnels – but in a humane way, the agency said.



YouTube – Rodenator Pro, bunker buster

Spokanimal, which is the local animal shelter and Humane Society chapter, was caught by surprise by Monday’s announcement. “You’re kidding,” Director Gail Mackie said when she learned the news. “That borders on cruelty.” Mackie said she would investigate the practice. The parks department is warning area residents that it plans to blast squirrels all week, and to not be alarmed by noises that sound like gun shots. Parks officials said police have already been called to the arboretum by people who heard the explosions. Timing is crucial. Parks officials said they want to detonate their prey before the animals start reproducing. Parks officials said ground squirrels have been a minor problem for years, but their population is, well, exploding. The squirrels dig tunnels and holes that people can trip on or fall into, the agency said. They eat new tree roots, can spread disease and are spreading to neighboring yards. Gas bombs were tried in the past, but were not effective, the agency said. Enter the Rodenator, a product whose workings have been captured on numerous YouTube videos. The company is based in Midvale, Idaho, and promises on its Web site that its product is effective against the “saber-toothed gopher.”

Miss Universe says had lot of fun in Guantanamo

MIAMI (Reuters) – A “relaxing, calm, beautiful place” may not be everyone’s description of Guantanamo Bay, Cuba, where the United States holds about 240 prisoners in a detention center that has drawn condemnation from around the world. But this was the opinion of reigning Miss Universe Dayana Mendoza of Venezuela, who visited the U.S. naval facility in eastern Cuba this month on a trip organized by the United Service Organizations (USO) which supports U.S. troops. The Guantanamo Bay base, whose presence Cuba’s government has contested as illegal for years, is used by U.S. authorities as a prison camp for foreign terrorism suspects. Critics have condemned it as a symbol of abuses in Washington’s war on terrorism launched after the September 11, 2001, attacks.

Caracas-born Mendoza, 22, who visited the facility March 20-25 along with Miss USA Crystle Stewart, 27, enthused about her Guantanamo trip as an “incredible experience” in a blog entry posted on the Miss Universe website dated March 27, 2009. “It was a loooot of fun!,” Mendoza wrote, describing how she and Stewart met U.S. military personnel and took rides around the camp, which is encircled by a barbed-wire fenced, minefields and watchtowers. She said they also visited a bar on the base and the “unbelievable” beach there. “We visited the Detainees camps and we saw the jails, where they shower, how the(y) recreate themselves with movies, classes of art, books. It was very interesting,” she wrote. “I didn’t want to leave, it was such a relaxing place, so calm and beautiful,” she added.

Former detainees and human rights groups have alleged the use of torture, including “waterboarding” (simulated drowning) and other physical abuses, at the Guantanamo prison. In a statement, the Miss Universe Organization said Mendoza and Stewart’s trip to Guantanamo was part of a longstanding relationship with the USO and its entertainment program “which boosts the morale of U.S. troops.”

“Dayana Mendoza’s comments on her blog were in reference to the hospitality she received while meeting the members of the U.S. military and their families who are stationed in Guantanamo,” Miss Universe Organization President Paula M. Shugart said in the statement. “We will continue to show our appreciation and express our gratitude to the military personnel who serve our nation,” Shugart said. Recounting her “memorable” trip, Mendoza, who was crowned Miss Universe 2008 in Vietnam, said: “We also met the Military dogs, and they did a very nice demonstration of their skills. All the guys from the Army were amazing with us.”

Britain announced last week it would investigate whether members of its secret services were complicit in the torture of a British resident released from Guantanamo Bay last month. Spanish prosecutors may decide this week whether to start an investigation of six former officials from George W. Bush’s administration in connection with the torture of Guantanamo detainees. In one of his first acts in office, U.S. President Barack Obama set a one-year deadline for shutting the prison. The Pentagon said last month it had received renewed reports of prisoner abuse during a recent review of conditions at Guantanamo, but had concluded that all prisoners were being kept in accordance with the Geneva Conventions.

Man who fell 300ft to his death from cliff-top was posing for a photograph | Mail Online

A man fell to his death after he posed for a photograph holding on to a cliff edge by a tuft of grass, coastguards said yesterday. The 39-year-old Polish man tumbled 300ft down the sheer cliff face, landing in the bushes below at Seaton, Devon, on Sunday. A coastguard helicopter and team were called to rescue him but paramedics declared him dead at the scene. Maddy Davey, Portland coastguard watch manager, said: ‘The 39-year-old Polish man was posing for a photograph whilst holding on to a tuft of grass at the top of the cliffs. ‘The grass gave way and he was seen by some tourists on the scene to fall down the sheer face of the cliffs and land in bushes at the bottom.

‘It was the middle of the day. All the tourists were there, people along the cliff path, who witnessed it.’ A police spokesman said the man, whose family in Poland has yet to be informed of his death, had been travelling with a group of Polish tourists. His death follows that of another man, thought to be Russian, who fell from a clifftop as he walked with friends at Capelle-Ferne near Folkestone, Kent, on the same day. Dover Coastguard said the cliff where the Russian man fell was a sheer drop of around 300ft, in an area that is popular with walkers. A Kent Police spokesman said the death was being treated as an accident and the coroner had been informed. The coastguard issued a warning about the dangers of cliffs after the two deaths. A spokesman said: ‘Please do not stray away from cliff paths and do not go near the edges of cliffs. ‘Often, despite appearances, they can be unstable and crumbly, as well as being slippery when wet.’

13-year-old robs Peoria bank with handgun — chicagotribune.com

PEORIA, Ill. – A 13-year-old boy used a handgun to rob a Peoria bank before police caught him hiding in a nearby garage after a foot chase. Police say the teen used the gun to rob South Side Bank on Monday. They say he fled the bank with the weapon and a bag of money wearing a black hooded sweatshirt, black pants and a red bandana on his face. Police apprehended him 36 minutes after the robbery was reported. They say the money bag contained a red dye package that had exploded. Police say the teen’s sweatshirt was covered with red dye. Authorities found the gun and money near where they arrested the boy.

YouTube trend: Kids snorting Smarties powder

Could your kid grow maggots in their nose? It could happen, according to the Arizona Department of Health. Remember those chalky round candies called Smarties? Kids across the nation are crushing them and snorting them. It’s a new fad all over YouTube. Health officials said the Smarties powder may cause irritation to throats noses and even lungs if inhaled or infections. And in rare cases, maggots can develop in the nose and feed on the sugary dust wedged inside the nose. “Putting things up your nose that are contaminated with fly eggs, then yes, that is a rare but possible complication,” said Dr. Karen Lewis with state health department. Kids are putting the powder it into their mouths and pretending to exhale. Lewis said it promotes smoking. “Fortunately, it doesn’t usually have a lot of complications, but it’s not even good to pretend.”

BBC NEWS | Middle East | Saudis ban ‘lewd’ number plates

Saudi Arabia has banned vehicle number plates which are seen as “offensive” in English when Arabic letters are given in the Latin alphabet, reports say. Saudi newspaper al-Watan said the banned words included “sex” and “ass”, but the list was topped by “USA”. Al-Watan said 90,000 existing plates were to be replaced. Personalised plates are popular with wealthy young Saudis. One plate recently sold at auction for 6m riyals ($1.2m), the newspaper reported. Newer Saudi plates include three Arabic letters that are also shown in the Latin alphabet. The growing fashion is for car owners to buy personalised “vanity” plates that deliberately read “nut”, “but”, “bad”, or “bar” in English. The latter presumably has been deemed offensive as it relates to alcohol, which is banned in the Islamic kingdom, the AFP news agency reports. The first on the list, for unexplained reasons, is the combination “USA”.

‘Miracle’ on a maple leaf : Woman finds an uplifting image – Framingham, MA – The MetroWest Daily News

SUDBURY — Mimi DiMauro was doing yard work with her family in the fall of 2007 when her 24-year-old daughter, visiting from New York City, made a discovery that could be described as beyond beleaf. She was off to one side of the lawn, raking and singing to herself, said her mother, when she make a stroke with the rake and noticed what looked like a face looking up at her. She leaned over to get a closer look. There, etched in black on the edge of a fallen maple leaf, was what looked to her like an image of Jesus. DiMauro’s daughter ran over to show the leaf to her mother who also saw the face of Jesus in the design. They put the leaf away, but showed it to other family members who recognized the well-known religious figure.

DiMauro, a Sudbury Realtor, brought the leaf to her office and took an informal survey. “Three-quarters of the people I showed it too immediately saw the face of Jesus Christ. The other quarter saw Bob Marley or John Lennon,” said DiMauro. “But when I asked that quarter if they were religious, right away they said, ‘It’s Jesus Christ.”‘ The image of Jesus, said DiMauro, “seemed to be a symbol of hope in a world where everything seems to be negative.” “It’s like finding a four-leaf clover,” she said. The family began discussing what they should do with the leaf and decided it was “a blessing in nature,” DiMaura said.

DiMauro has read about religious images on a cheese sandwich and a potato chip that have sold on the Internet, and considered posting a photograph of the leaf online, but instead put the leaf away. “I put it aside and haven’t done anything with it, but I check it regularly and it hasn’t changed,” said DiMauro. “Every time I look at it I see the same image. I feel like it was something that was brought to us.” She said the leaf came up in conversation this week, and she thought that, with the arrival of spring and Easter it was time to share the story of the maple leaf with the public. “I thought, maybe this is something that could be uplifting,” said DiMauro. “At a time of so much negative news, it makes a little good news.”

Pete Waterman: ‘I was exploited by Google’ – Telegraph

The 62-year-old said the Rick Astley classic Never Gonna Give You Up, which he co-wrote and which was the subject of a YouTube craze last year, had earned him just £11 from Google, despite being viewed 154 million times. Waterman, whose fortune was estimated at £47 million by The Times in 2004, compared this treatment to the “exploitation” of migrant workers in the Middle East.

At a press conference to mark the launch of a website campaigning for a fairer deal for songwriters whose work is featured on YouTube – which is owned by Google – Waterman said local radio was more profitable for him than the internet. “There was I sitting at Christmas thinking, ‘I must have made a few bob this year with the old Rickrolling’,” he said. “I rang my publisher and they said ‘You’ll be all right’, until I saw the royalty statement. £11. “If 154 million plays means £11, I get more from Radio Stoke playing Never Gonna Give You Up than I do from YouTube.”

The Rickrolling phenomenon involved internet users sending each other web links that appeared to be relevant to something they were discussing, but were in fact disguised links to the Astley song on YouTube. “Panorama did a documentary on the exploitation of foreign workers in Dubai,” he said. “I feel like one of those workers, because I earned less for a year’s work off Google or YouTube than they did off the Bahrain government.” The PRS For Music organisation wants Google and YouTube to pay higher royalties to songwriters for use of their work online. A YouTube spokesman said: “We absolutely believe that artists and songwriters should make money from the use of their material. “We previously had a licence with the PRS to enable this to happen and we are very committed to reaching terms so that we can renew our licence. “The more music videos YouTube streams, and the more popular those music videos are, the more money YouTube will generate to share with the PRS and its songwriters.”

5 cm. fir tree removed from patient’s lung / MosNews.com

A five-centimeter fir tree has been found in the lung of a man who complained he had a strong pain in his chest and was coughing blood. The 28-year-old patient, Artyom Sidorkin, came to a hospital in the city of Izhevsk in Central Russia last week, Komsomolskaya Pravda daily reports. Doctors x-rayed his chest and found a tumor in one of the lungs. Suspecting cancer, they made a decision to perform biopsy, but when they cut the tissue, they were amazed to see green needles in the cut.

“I blinked three times, and thought I was seeing things. Then I called the assistant to have a look,” says Vladimir Kamashev, doctor at the Udmurtian Cancer Center. The five-centimeter branch was removed from the patient’s body. “They told me my coughing blood was not caused by any disease,” Sidorkin says. “It was the needles poking the capillaries. It really hurt a lot. But I never felt like I had an alien object inside of me.” It is obvious that a five-centimeter branch is too large to be inhaled or swallowed, doctors say. They suggest that the patient might have inhaled a small bud, which then started to grow inside his body. Meanwhile, the piece of lung with the little fir tree has been preserved for further study.

What’s a nice girl like you doing with an arsenal like this? Police seize 20-year-old guarding vast weapons cache… including anti-aircraft gun | Mail Online

Smirking for the camera, this is the 20-year-old woman Mexican police caught guarding an extraordinary arsenal of weapons. Anahi Beltran Cabrera was seized during a routine patrol in Sonora state, near the U.S. border. Officers recovered a vast cache of weapons including an anti-aircraft gun capable of firing 800 shots per minute, a number of rifles and an array of ammunition.

They believe the haul belongs to a group allegedly linked to the powerful Beltan Leyva drug cartel. Cabrera was paraded before the media – along with the weapons she was caught guarding. Large swathes of Mexico have been ravaged by violence with drugs gangs battling for territory. Last month, 2,000 soldiers and armed federal police were deployed into the border town of Ciudad Juarez to restore order to the country’s most violent city. In one month, 250 people were killed by hitmen fighting for lucrative smuggling routes.

YouTube – Career Criminial Anthony Walkins 231st arrest



YouTube – Career Criminial Anthony Walkins 231st arrest

NJ Man Shot In The Face While Turkey Hunting Cheney??

WEST MILFORD, N.J (WPIX) — A Pompton Lakes man who was turkey hunting early Tuesday, was rushed to the hospital after being shot in the face, according to police. Keith Snowden, 31, was reportedly in the woods off of Van Orden Road after 7 a.m. at the time of the incident. Responding officers say Snowden suffered non-life threatening injuries when he was struck in the face by several pellets fired by fellow hunter, Donald Einreinhofer, 40, of Stockholm. The two apparently did not know each other and had been hunting separately. Einreinhofer stayed with Snowden until emergency crews arrived, according to police. Snowden was rushed to Morristown Memorial hospital where he was treated for his injuries. So far, no criminal charges are being filed because police believe the shooting was an accident. An investigation into the incident is currently underway by West Milford police and the New Jersey Division of Fish and Wildlife.

Masters Diary: Lightweight Daly ready to get on the road to Europe

The John Daly Roadshow has parked itself across the street from the Augusta National this week and is selling autographed shirts for $20 a pop as the man himself desperately tries to avoid bankruptcy. In many respects it is an ignominious sight, but at least this time The Wild Thing really does seem to be getting his life together. And the intriguing news is that Britain is set to play a role in his latest rehabilitation. The Independent understands that next month the two-time major winner is being lined up to play at the European Open in Kent, the Wales Open in Newport and maybe even the BMW PGA Championship at Wentworth (although Daly has also been invited to the Colonial tournament in Texas and has a decision to make). If this run of events goes well, and indeed a couple he is also due to play in Spain, Italy and Ireland, then Daly may well relocate from America.

The 42-year-old is currently serving a six-month suspension from the PGA Tour after spending the night in jail when found incapacitated outside a North Carolina bar and for the first time in 17 years he has no sponsors, as he has slumped to 783rd in the world. Hence the motor home from which he is frantically selling merchandise. The many fans queuing there have been surprised by Daly’s appearance. Since doing a “Fern Britton” and having a gastric-band fitted in February, he has lost three stones and gone down from an XXXL to an XL. What he does eat has to be chewed until it is soft enough to digest. Furthermore, it has blessedly affected Daly’s legendary consumption. “It takes me about an hour to drink one beer,” he said. Two things he has never done slowly is swing a golf club and drink beer. It has never been a case of grip it and sip it for big John. But it is now.

He has been practising with Rick Smith, Phil Mickelson’s former coach, and apparently these sessions have gone well. The game has seen it all before, of course, and many will simply roll their eyes as they hear all the good intentions. Yet this time Daly insists it will be different. “This time it’s for me,” said Daly. “I don’t have to really prove a lot anymore. I’ve just got to prove some stuff to myself.” Who knows, perhaps he will even be able to drive his RV up Magnolia Lane next year. Without all the tasteless Wild Thing merchandise, naturally.

Now I’m Mr QPR | The Sun |News

SUPERFAN Darren Rolph has paid the ultimate tribute to his football team — by changing his name to Queens Park Rangers. Double-glazer Darren, 36, is using his new monicker on his bank account, driving licence, passport and credit cards, one of which now reads Mr Queens P Rangers. Dad-of-four Darren, of Rochester, Kent, has been watching the West London club for ten years. He said: “I love the club. I’m proud to share their name.” His wife Claire wasn’t happy with the change and has vowed not to become Mrs Queen Park Rangers, even though she is a Hoops fan herself.

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April 7, 2009

Yeehaw That’s Good News

Filed under: Hardly Newsworthy, Humor — Tags: , — webadmin @ 11:09 pm


 

Thief nabbed with 68 tubes of toothpaste

BERLIN (Reuters) – Police in northern Germany are searching for a man who tried to walk out of a supermarket with 68 tubes of toothpaste stuffed into his clothing.

“We don’t know if he had bad teeth,” a police spokeswoman in Rostock said Friday.”

Noticing his bulging jacket, a store worker grabbed the man when he refused to stop and the tubes of toothpaste spilt all over the floor, police said.

The thief struck the woman in the face and ran out.

Cereal box typo sends callers to phone sex line

HALFWAY, Md. – An Oregon company has ordered new packaging for its Peace Cereal after a typo on the box sent callers to a phone sex line instead of the cereal maker’s 800 number. Instead of reaching Golden Temple of Oregon, callers were greeted by a recorded voice asking, “Do you love sex? … Isn’t that why you called?”
Spokeswoman Elissa Brown said Eugene, Ore.-based Golden Temple ordered new packaging when the mistake was discovered in December and new boxes have been shipping out for weeks.
However, 13 varieties of the cereal were on shelves Wednesday at one Halfway, Md., grocery store, including seven varieties in boxes bearing the incorrect telephone number.

Journalists get shock with ’sexy’ White House call

WASHINGTON (AFP) – Journalists based in the United States got a shock Thursday when they dialed a toll-free number to join a conference call with senior officials accompanying US President Barack Obama in London.
The number turned out to be a sex chat line inviting callers to use their credit card numbers.
“Do you have any hidden desires?” a sultry voiced woman asked.
“Well, do you feel like getting nasty? Then you came to the right place — brought to you by the girls of Swank magazine,” she said.
Reporters finally got through to the two officials in London — National Security Advisor James Jones and Secretary of State Hillary Clinton — when they gave up on the US “800″ number and instead dialed an international number.

Girl, 9, watched as dad robbed store, police say – CNN.com

(CNN) — A 9-year-old girl who stood by as a man identified as her father pulled a gun and robbed an Ellensburg, Washington, convenience store has been found in California, police said Thursday. Police said the girl was unharmed and was being returned to Washington state in protective custody. Authorities said the suspect, identified as Robert Daniel Webb of Everett, Washington, is being sought. Authorities said the robber took about $200 from the store. Surveillance video from the AM/PM Mini Mart in Ellensburg caught the Tuesday morning robbery on tape and showed a man pointing a gun directly at the store clerk as the child stood nearby. The clerk, Eric Owens, said the gunman told him he had lost his job and his daughter needed medical care. In the surveillance footage, the suspect can be heard saying the “economy sucks.” The clerk told CNN affiliate KING that he has experienced economic hardship himself — he and his son were homeless at one point. “I know what hard is, but resorting to crime is not the solution,” Owens told KING.

Police in Ellensburg, about 100 miles southeast of Seattle, later said a Washington woman confirmed that it was her daughter in the video, and that the man was the girl’s father. Owens said he was concerned about the child’s safety during the robbery, and that he feared that if another customer had walked in, the situation might have escalated. “What’s he going to do? Grab the kid and use her as a hostage?” Owens said. Police in the northern California town of Fortuna said they located the girl Wednesday night after receiving information about a possible kidnapping. They found a man and girl, ran a check on the man’s identification and came up with a Washington state warrant for armed robbery, and some apparently unrelated warrants from California. When police tried to take the man into custody, he eluded them, got back into his vehicle and sped away — without the girl, Fortuna authorities said.

Mass. Department of Public Health report details Beth Israel surgery in which doctor fell asleep – The Boston Globe

When Dr. Loren J. Borud began his first case at about 8 a.m., an operating room nurse noticed he looked tired and wobbly. She was so concerned, according to one account of the Friday last June, that she suggested Borud postpone his next patient. Borud said he had been up all night working on a book, but he kept operating, starting a second case, during which he briefly fell asleep, according to a report from state investigators. The nurse again called him aside and suggested “maybe he should take a break,” according to her interviews with investigators, but he continued the surgery. These findings are part of a report in which state Department of Public Health investigators found that Beth Israel Deaconess Medical Center provided poor care to Borud’s second patient that day. They also faulted the hospital’s response to Bo rud’s apparent impairment. The patient, Michael K. Hicks of Quincy, has said he suffered complications after liposuction surgery and repair of a scar on his chest, and in July he sued the hospital, six doctors including Borud, and two nurses. He has settled his case; the terms are confidential.

Proposed bill would tax prostitution at $5 per session – Las Vegas Sun

CARSON CITY – Sen. Bob Coffin, D-Las Vegas, proposed a tax on prostitution today that he says could raise $2 million a year for the state. Patrons of prostitutes – both legal and illegal – would pay an extra $5 tax per session under the bill, which Coffin said was his idea alone. In the runup to the legislative session, a lobbyist for the state’s legal brothels volunteered to be taxed, an effort that some said would guarantee their continued survival. Assembly Speaker Barbara Buckley turned down the industry, effectively killing the effort. “I think we will support it,” George Flint, a spokesman for the state’s brothel industry, said of Coffin’s bill. There are eight “major” brothels in the rural counties, where they are legal, and 17 smaller houses of prostitution, said Flint. The minimum charges range from $100 to $200.

Coffin said he had considered applying the state’s live entertainment tax to prostitution, but encountered some constitutional questions. Information received by the state Department of Taxation in collecting the proposed tax would be confidential, he said. The department could publish how much it took in, so long as it didn’t identify an individual business. Part of the receipts would be used to finance an “ombudsman for sex workers” who would help prostitutes who have complaints or want to leave prostitution and enter another profession. Asked how the state could collect the tax from the independent street walkers, Coffin said that the business tax, when first imposed, wasn’t collected from all of those who were required to pay it. As a new tax, the bill would require a two-thirds vote for passage.

Angry Residents Block, Turn Back Car Taking Photos Of Village For Google Online Street Map | AHN | April 7, 2009

London, U.K. (AHN) – Residents of a southern English village have blocked and turned back a car taking photos of their homes for the purpose of showing them in Google’s online map Street View. One resident of Broughton in Buckinghamshire, England saw and flagged the black Opel Astra with a rotating camera mounted on its roof and driven by a Google contractor on Wednesday. The villager named Paul Jacobs then called neighbors, who formed a human chain to prevent the car from moving further and taking more pictures. Jacobs, 43, also called the police but the car drove away and was gone when a squad car arrived at 10:20 a.m.

Jacobs told the Daily Mail he felt angry when he saw the Google car because it was invading their privacy and making their homes targets of burglars when these are shown on the Street View website. Google has been photographing cities, towns and large villages in Britain for its online mapping service. It said the activity is legal because it is being done on public roads and Street View blurs out faces and plate numbers captured on camera. “Householders are entitled to request their property is removed from the site but only after the picture has appeared,” a spokesman of the U.S. search engine giant also said, according to Daily Mail.

Obama tells country “Serve Satan” (or not?) – Boing Boing

Right-wing foolish person connects Obama to Satan:

Plus there is this stupefying wingnut YouTube channel, Antichrist Obamanation, with various videos relating to things like is Obama the Antichrist, how you can prove Obama is the Antichrist using the “Bible Code,” and how Obama is the head of the Illuminati/New World Order and a stealth Muslim. Tons of this stuff out there, “Obama = Antichrist” is practically a YouTube genre already.

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March 27, 2009

HA! Now THAT’S Funny!

Filed under: Hardly Newsworthy, Humor — Tags: , , — webadmin @ 9:48 am


 

Clothed Tourist at Nudist Swingers Party Sparks ‘Mini-Riot’

A tourist who refused to take his clothes off at a swinger sex party has been blamed for “a mini-riot” at a north Queensland, Australia, nudist colony. Police were called amid threats of violence and lewd behavior and ordered the Brisbane man and his wife from the adults-only “anything goes” sex party. The White Cockatoo resort at Mossman, near Port Douglas, is promoting swingers and sex parties in a month of hedonism for March in a bid to boost sagging tourism figures.

Once billed as the nation’s top group-sex hotspot for swingers, the resort made international headlines last year when The Courier-Mail first reported plans to lift a self-imposed swinger ban. Owner Tony Fox said the “mini-riot” erupted when four naked female guests protested when confronted by the fully-clothed man. “They felt uncomfortable with him eyeing them off and I asked him to show some respect and take his clothes off,” said the nudist colony manager. “He then threatened to bash me, there was some argy-bargy and I ordered him off the premises and police were called.”

Subtle Butt to be handed out at minor league baseball games

Yesterday we told you about the efforts of some Minor League baseball teams to attract fans to the ballpark in these tough economic times with heart-attack inducing food items. Not to be outdone, the Lake Elsinore Storm will see your greasy burgers, onion-laden bratwurst and goopy gop and raise you some free fart neutralizers.

A recent press release from the team reads:

“You can probably deduce that All-You-Can-Eat ballpark food might lead to substantial gas, which is where corporate sponsor, Subtle Butt, enters the picture. Made of activated carbon fabric, each disposable 3.25″ square shield is held onto the inside of the underwear with two self-adhesive strips. Subtle Butt effectively filters flatulence, absorbing and neutralizing its odor.”

We’re sad to report that Subtle Butt is an actual product. Here’s some YouTube evidence:

Ben’s Biz Blog went above and beyond the call of duty and actually talked to the maker of Subtle Butt:

‘Our office is full of girls, and all we do all day long is talk about [flatulence] and sweat,” said Kim Olenicoff, Garment Guard’s founder. ‘We’ve never partnered with anyone before, but in Minor League Baseball we might have found the perfect niche.’

“This ideal pairing came about through the wonders of social networking.

“‘I grew up with one of the guys [assistant gm Allan Benavides] who works at the Storm,’ she said. ‘Through the magic of Facebook he found me and saw what it is I do. He called me up and explained that he thought this would be a good fit.’”

So, there you have it. Further reason to blame the scourge of social networking as the downfall of Western civilization.

Natalie Dylan Auctions Off Virginity For Offers Of Up To $3.7 Million

Bidding in the auction for the virginity of Natalie Dylan, a 22-year-old student from San Diego, Calif., has reached absurd new highs. The Daily Telegraph has the story, saying that the price has now hit $3.7 million:
Last September, when her auction came to light, she had received bids up to £162,000 ($243,000) but since then interest in her has rocketed. The student who has a degree in Women’s Studies insisted she was not demeaning herself.

Natalie Dylan has appeared on the Howard Stern show and is conducting this transaction through Nevada’s Bunny Ranch brothel. Natalie Dylan photos are readily available online and are, unsurprisingly, a popular search term.

Senators Get Nasty: “You’re Good” … “Your Wife Said The Same Thing” (VIDEO)

Marking up budget legislation can be a brutal affair, often beginning early and lasting long into the night. But buried within the hours of debate in the Senate on Thursday is an exchange you’d be more likely to hear in a locker room than a congressional hearing. Budget Committee Chairman Kent Conrad (D-N.D.) was on the receiving end of this one, after telling Sen. Charles Grassley (R-Iowa), “Oh, you are good.” “Well, your wife said the same thing,” Grassley responded.

MI man arrested for sex act with car wash vacuum

Thomas Township, MI (NBC) – A Saginaw man faces the next three months behind bars for having relations with a car wash vacuum. Authorities say the man was discovered at a car wash last October performing a sex act with a vacuum cleaner. A resident called police to complain about suspicious activity at the self serve car wash. Jason Savage, 29, was arrested and taken into police custody. Savage was charged with indecent exposure and now faces 90 days in the county jail. There has been no comment from Savage or his attorney on the incident.

Man Punches Attacker With His Severed Hand | AHN | March 28, 2009

Dublin, Ireland (AHN) – A man who just saw his hand chopped off with a samurai sword punched his attacker in the face with the bloody stump, an Irish court heard yesterday. Charles Russell plead guilty to intentionally or recklessly causing serious harm to Peter Rogers at The Deputy Mayor Pub Jan. 13, 2008. Detective Garda Tony Gleeson told the Dublin Circuit Criminal Court that Russell severed Rogers’ hand at the wrist with the first swing of a samurai sword, and the hand fell to the ground, the Independent reported. In shock, Rogers didn’t notice the loss of his hand, and at one point in the struggle punched Russell in the face with the stump of his arm. Doctors have concluded that Rogers has made some progress but that it is unlikely he will make a full recovery, the Independent reported.

ShamWow Guy In Slap, Chop Bust – March 27, 2009

MARCH 27–Meet Vince Shlomi. He’s probably better known to you as the ShamWow Guy, the ubiquitous television pitchman who has been phenomenally successful peddling absorbent towels and food choppers. Shlomi, 44, was arrested last month on a felony battery charge following a violent confrontation with a prostitute in his South Beach hotel room. According to an arrest affidavit, Shlomi met Sasha Harris, 26, at a Miami Beach nightclub on February 7 and subsequently retired with her to his $750 room at the lavish Setai hotel. Shlomi told cops he paid Harris about $1000 in cash after she “propositioned him for straight sex.” Shlomi said that when he kissed Harris, she suddenly “bit his tongue and would not let go.” Shlomi then punched Harris several times until she released his tongue.

The affidavit, a copy of which you’ll find here, notes that during the 4 AM fight Harris sustained facial fractures and lacerations all over her face (she is pictured here in mug shots snapped following busts in 2008 and 2005). After freeing his tongue, a bleeding Shlomi ran to the Setai lobby, where security summoned cops. Harris refused to cooperate with officers, who recovered $930 from her purse. “Both parties had a strong odor of an alcoholic beverage emitting from their persons,” police reported. In a brief telephone interview, Harris declined to answer TSG questions about her run-in with Shlomi, though she did say she is considering a lawsuit against the pitchman. Asked if she worked as a hooker, Harris declined comment.

As seen in the below mug shot, Shlomi was also injured during the fracas and, court records show, was treated at Mount Sinai Medical Center. While Shlomi and Harris were both arrested for felony aggravated battery, prosecutors this month declined to file formal charges against the combatants. Police records list Shlomi’s occupation as “Marketing,” but make no mention of his affiliation with the ShamWow or the Slap Chop, both of which sell for $19.95 (plus shipping and handling).

The Associated Press: Idaho teacher sells advertising space on tests

POCATELLO, Idaho (AP) — Good morning, class, and welcome to U.S. history, brought to you by Molto Caldo Pizzeria. In a cash-strapped Idaho high school where signs taped near every light switch remind the staff to save electricity, an enterprising teacher has struck a sponsorship deal with a local pizza shop: Every test, handout and worksheet he passes out to his students reads MOLTO’S PIZZA 14″ 1 TOPPING JUST $5 in bright red, inch-high letters printed along the bottom of every page. “I just wanted to find a way to save money,” said Jeb Harrison, who teaches history and economics.

“We have to sell ads for our yearbook, for our school newspaper. I don’t think this small amount of advertising will change my classroom.” School officials were not wild about the idea, but Pocatello High School Principal Don Cotant relented after Harrison explained the advertisements could help illuminate such topics as the Great Depression. “I had concerns. I didn’t know what this would open up for us,” Cotant said. “But we’ve let this happen because it makes a point about what economic hard times can force people to do.” As school districts across the country face the worst economic outlook in decades, educators who have long reached into their own pockets to buy classroom supplies are finding creative ways to cover expenses. But selling ads on schoolwork is practically unheard of.

Pipe War! Plumbers Union Rips Joe The Plumber For Campaigning Against EFCA | The Plum Line

The Plumbers Union is steaming over the news that Joe the Plumber has been enlisted by groups opposed to the Employee Free Choice Act to campaign at a number of Pennsylvania rallies against the measure. A Plumbers Union official tells me that Joe is “selling out real plumbers. ”I checked in with Rick Terven, the political and legislative director for The United Association of Journeymen and Apprentices of the Plumbing and Pipe Fitting Industry of the United States and Canada. (Sorry, I couldn’t resist sharing the full name.) He tore into his high-profile plumber colleague as follows:
Joe the plumber is selling out real plumbers. Right now, labor law is stacked against real plumbers. Real plumbers want and need the Employee Free Choice Act as a way to empower themselves to join a union, without fear of intimidation or losing their jobs. Joe the Plumber doesn’t speak for real plumbers.

Terven claimed that the Plumbers Union, which says it has over 300,000 members, had done a survey of non-union plumbers finding that 70% of them wanted to join a union if they could do so without fear of retribution, though I couldn’t immediately get the details of their survey. The larger story here is the battle over who really speaks for working people on this issue — the unions, or the groups against EFCA, some of which are bankrolled by business, who claim that they oppose EFCA because it’s bad for workers.Today the AFL-CIO slammed the Joe the Plumber events as proof that the anti-EFCA groups are whipping up “faux grassroots” opposition to the measure.On that score, the organizers of the event, the anti-EFCA group Americans for Prosperity, still has yet to tell me whether Joe the Plumber is getting paid for his appearances.

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March 25, 2009

When News Breaks, I Fix It

Filed under: Hardly Newsworthy, Humor — Tags: , — webadmin @ 5:39 pm


 

Brazilian footballer forced to wear dress in training

BRAZILIAN club Figueirense have incorporated cross-dressing into their training sessions. Coach Roberto Fernandes makes out-of-form players train in a skimpy frock (see photo). What would Brian Clough have made of it? Not much, we imagine.The dress is credited with an upturn in the form of midfielder Jairo, who is the man in the picture to your left.Fernandes claims Jairo put in his best performance for the second-division club in the next match after wearing the dress in training.

Japanese space underwear set to invade Earth? | Crave – CNET

For some reason, every time high-tech underwear news hits the Internet, my editors think it’s something I need to cover (pun intended). This time, though, it’s underwear from space. And it’s Japanese underwear from space that lasts up to a week before you have to change it–for better or worse.

According to Reuters, the clothing called J-ware is currently being tested aboard the International Space Station, perhaps to the dismay of Koichi Wakata’s fellow astronauts.

The skivvies, developed by textile specialists at Japan Women’s University in Tokyo, are meant to absorb moisture, kill bacteria, and generally be comfortable in situations where there are no laundry facilities and you really can’t be as freshly dressed as you’d like.

Thankfully, so far the tests have been successful. Wakata has been quoted as saying, “Nobody has complained, so I think it’s so far, so good.” The question is, if the tests are fully successful, will the general, non-space-going world buy into the idea? There are plans for Earth-bound mass marketing of the week-long underwear. I for one am not into the idea, even if it works fine.

reportonbusiness.com: Even Santa feels the economic chill

The global recession is forcing even Santa Claus to cut back.

Santapark Ltd. in Rovaniemi, Finland, which is billed as Santa’s hometown, has seen a 12-per-cent drop in visitors and slumping profits because of the economic slowdown. The situation is so dire the Finnish government, which owned 35 per cent of the park, has brought in new owners to overhaul the operation.

There will “definitely be a very tight handling of expenses,” said Ilkka Lankinen, who bought the government’s stake yesterday and now owns 56 per cent of Santapark. “The government was more concerned about the future and they wanted to have professional Christmas people to run it.”

Santa Claus is big business in Rovaniemi, a city of about 60,000 located just outside the Arctic Circle. More than 280,000 tourists arrive every Christmas season to visit various Santa-related enterprises. There’s a Santa Claus Hotel, Rudolf Hotel and the city has even trademarked its airport as the “Official Airport of Santa Claus.” The city is also home to Santa’s office, located in the Santa Claus Village, and Mr. Lankinen owns Joulukka, another area theme park where visitors can learn about “Santa’s hidden Command Centre.”

Santa isn’t alone in struggling to attract visitors. Theme parks everywhere, from Six Flags to Disney World and Universal Studios, are cutting costs, laying off staff and offering steep discounts in a bid to combat falling attendance.

BERNARD MADOFF Prison number wins lottery – Bild.de

A man from New York has won the lottery – after using Bernard Madoff’s prison numbers as inspiration! According to the ‘New York Daily News’, Ralph Amendolaro, a construction worker from Queens, noticed the numbers on the disgraced financial fraudster’s prison mugshot, and decided to have a punt. He said: “I’m going to be a winner with this guy even though everyone lost money with him. Somebody had to get a little lucky with him.” He went on to win $1,500, and is planning to splash out: “I’m not going to invest it, put it that way!”

Porn Sting Goes To The Dogs – March 18, 2009

MARCH 18–Meet Michelle Owen. Concerned that an ex-boyfriend had used her laptop to search for child pornography, the Indiana woman asked police to search the computer for illegal images, but had her plan backfire when cops discovered two videos of her engaged in illicit acts with a dog. Owen, 24, was charged last week with two felony bestiality counts in connection with the video files, which a detective found in the laptop’s “recycle bin.” At the time Owen asked cops to search the computer, she was locked up in the Johnson County Jail on a public intoxication charge (which violated the terms of her release in a prior drunk driving case). According to a police affidavit, a copy of which you’ll find here, a cop told Owen that he had found videos of her on the laptop and asked if she “knew what those files might be.” Owen, pictured in the below mug shot, replied, “The one with the dog.” Cops believe that the dog in question, Toby, is a beagle. After asking if she was “going to be charged with this,” Owen said that the videos “were just something she did when she was drunk and barely remembers it,” adding that she tried to “delete them the next day when she was sober.”

Bus Driver Suspended After Circling With Children On Board (5 Hours)

NEW YORK — The driver of a school bus that circled Brooklyn for nearly five hours while carrying about a dozen kindergartners and first-graders has been suspended. Authorities say the 53-year-old driver claimed he had gotten lost Wednesday while ferrying the children from the Achievement First Brownsville Charter School to their homes. Parents say their children were shaken by the ordeal that ended when police were called and were finally able to reach the driver. Though he was arrested, the Brooklyn district attorney’s office has decided not to prosecute the driver.

Talking Points Memo | Wow, I Needed That

As part of their efforts to make the scale and scope of Bernie Madoff’s crimes clear to Judge Denny Chin in deciding the terms of his plea, confinement and eventual sentencing, the folks at the US Attorney’s Office for the Southern District of New York submitted emails from Madoff’s victims describing the injury they had suffered and the punishment they believed Madoff deserved.

When you read through the emails, though, you do sort of wonder what level of vetting was applied to these emails or who some of those people even are. And when you get to the email on page 36 you get the sense that the quality control on which emails they threw on the pile maybe wasn’t all that high.

Here’s the text of that email …

From: [redacted]
Sent: Saturday, March 07, 2009 6:38 PM
Subject: REPLY ME

My Name is Mr. [redacted] but my origin is from Republic of Congo. I have an inherited fund I want to invest in a business in your country with a help of a local. I don’t know about what business but I found it wise to invest the funds in your country with your collaboration with me.

Ever since I move to Dubai due to the problem in my country, I have not been able to invest the funds in Dubai due to security reasons. Now I am seeking foreign assistance to transfer the funds in your country based on the news of their development.

If you can assist, I am willing to give you 10% of the funds that is US$3.5Million. You will understand that my entire life and future depend on this money and I shall be very grateful if you can assist me. The major thing I demand from you is the absolute assurance that the funds will be safe and you will not sit on it when it is transferred into your account.

I will be willing to coming to your country once everything has been done and the funds are in your bank to discuss on lucrative investment in your country.

I hope to hear from you so that we might get to talk better on this issue. Please do give me your contact information in order for me to call you ASAP.

If this email offends your moral value, do accept my apology.

Hope to hear from you soon.

Best Regards,

[redacted]

I have to confess I couldn’t stop laughing for maybe 10 or 15 minutes after I read this. Really a bang on this one, guys. How many of the rest of these ‘victim’ emails are just crank emails?

Prostitution Tax Pitched for Nevada | News10.net | Sacramento, California | Entertainment News

CARSON CITY, Nev. (AP) — Talk about a sin tax! A Nevada lawmaker wants a five-buck tax on hookers’ services. State Senate Taxation Chairman Bob Coffin says his tax proposal would bring in at least $2 million a year from sex acts in Nevada’s legal bordellos. He says even the brothel owners support the tax. But the hooker tax may not get past the governor, if legislators pass it. A spokesman for Nevada Gov. Jim Gibbons says as a rule, the governor opposes tax increases.

US comedian Stephen Colbert reaches for the stars after Nasa contest win | Science | guardian.co.uk

An American comedian has embarrassed Nasa, the US space agency, by winning a competition to have part of the International Space Station named after him.Space scientists had urged the public to select Serenity as the name of the third new “living room” aboard the orbiting outpost to match the existing Unity and Harmony modules.But Nasa may have to name it Colbert instead after almost a quarter of a million fans voted to give the satirist Stephen Colbert a giant leap into space.The comedian’s name beat the agency’s preferred choice by more than 40,000 votes in a total ballot of 1.2m.

Other Nasa recommendations included Venture, Earthrise and Legacy, while Myyearbook and Socialvibe were among the public’s suggestions.Colbert’s trip to the stars, however, may yet be grounded when the final decision is made next month. John Yembrick, a Nasa spokesman, said his bosses would give the winning suggestion “the most consideration” but reserved the right to give the new module an “appropriate” name when it is launched aboard the space shuttle Endeavour next spring.

Among the hi-tech equipment due to occupy the extra room aboard the 10-year-old space station is a unit that will convert astronauts’ urine into drinking water.Entering Colbert’s name in competitions has become something of a tradition for fans of his late-night TV show, The Colbert Report. Also named after him are a peregrine falcon in California and a flavour of Ben and Jerry’s ice-cream, Stephen Colbert’s Americone Dream.

funniest comment on that story:

A hi-tech method of converting urine into drinking water? Pfft. Just pee in a cup and add a spoonful of Tang to it. We’re in a budget crisis here people!

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March 19, 2009

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Filed under: Hardly Newsworthy, Humor — Tags: , — webadmin @ 12:39 pm


 

The bill eventually passed, but this was still funny

Bill to Outlaw Child Selling in Mississippi Dies – WREG

(Yalobusha County, MS 3/4/2009) A measure that would make it illegal to sell a child in Mississippi will NOT become law. The bill from a DeSoto County Senator had overwhelming support… or so it seemed, until it got stalled in the legislative process.  You’d think a law to ban the sale of children would be a no-brainer, an easy law to pass.  Well this one sailed through the Mississippi Senate with only five minutes of discussion and a unanimous vote.  Then the Mississippi House got ahold of it, and somehow, they allowed this bill, making it illegal to buy and sell children, to die. 

Paula Best never understood how a woman could offer to sell her child and not end up in jail. “It’s very strange and hard to understand how a person can just get pregnant, get rid of the baby either sell it or swap it for drugs, or a car, whatever. It doesn’t make any sense.” she said.  But Best got such an offer. It ended when police got involved and then realized there’s no law in Mississippi against selling babies, children or even adults.  It seemed natural for state lawmakers to put a stop to it, and a DeSoto Senator tried to do just that with a bill in the Mississippi Legislature.  When Senator Doug Davis of Hernando introduced the bill it consisted of just two paragraphs. Then lawmakers added language calling for the licensing of agencies that place children in adoptive homes and regulating the fees they can charge. 

Bills can often fail when things get added on, but the lawman who investigated the baby selling case says the additional language shouldn’t have mattered. “I looked at the bill on the internet after I talked to you and I didn’t see any thing difficult about it so I don’t know what happened to it.” explained Yalobusha County Sheriff Lance Humphries.  Neither does Senator Davis who came up with it in the first place. All he could tell us was the bill died in the house Judiciary Committee for lack of action.  Representative John Mayo whose district includes part of Western DeSoto, sits on that committee and asked Chairman Willie Bailey of Greenville why the bill died. Mayo said Bailey told him he didn’t act on the bill because the house had its own version.  But a search of bills from this session didn’t turn up any baby selling legislation from the house.

Drug denial letter covered in drugs | Metro.co.uk

A nightclub boss who wrote a letter to police denying that drug use was rife in her club has lost her license, after cops found that the letter itself was covered in cocaine. Pauline Terry wrote the letter in January, denying that Club Compass in Ramsgate, Kent was a haven for drug taking. A police raid on the venue had found ‘huge’ traces of various Class A drugs in the bar and toilets, including cocaine, heroin and ecstasy. A police source said: ‘ It does us a lot of favours when the licencee, in defending her nightclub on drug allegations, sends in a letter covered in cocaine.’

Police licensing officer Nigel Cruttenden said: ‘When we did a swab in the toilets we found traces of cocaine, heroin and ecstasy at the highest level ever recorded in Thanet. A level of four is sufficient for magistrates to order a crack house closure and we found 8.3.’ And about Terry’s letter, he added: ‘When I did a swab I found a reading of 1.1 for cocaine inside the envelope.’ Terry – who was fined £1,000 for a number of license breaches last month – failed to turn up for the licensing hearing last week, at which Thanet council revoked her license. Police are recommending that the club be closed permanently.

Chef’s ‘new life’ lasted one day – News – Manchester Evening News

AN illegal immigrant who claimed to be visiting a friend in north west England was sent back home after border guards found a good luck card for his ‘new life in the UK’ in his baggage.  The Mexican man, a chef, arrived on a flight from Los Angeles to Manchester Airport and told officials he was planning a short stay to visit a friend who was opening a Mexican restaurant.  But when Border Agency officers looked into his baggage, they found a huge collection of Mexican food recipes – and a good luck card from his church wishing him well for his ‘new life in the UK’.  Under further questioning, the 40-year-old admitted he had intended to work at the restaurant illegally and planned to bring his family over from the States if the move worked out.  The man was detained and removed from the UK the next day, after his arrival last Friday.  A UK Border Agency spokesman said: “We will not tolerate people coming here to work illegally. People wanting to visit the UK must play by the rules. Those who do not are sent back.”

Tim Goodman. The Bastard Machine : Machine Parts: Syfy, Obama on Leno, Obama’s March Madness, new comment style, etc.

Rebranding is serious business in the world of television. There used to be the Romance Channel, which was actually Romance Classics Channel, which was then changed to its current iteration, WE: Women’s Entertainment. What people thought was the Outdoor Channel was actually OLN – Outdoor Life Network, which changed its name to vs – lowercase – that is better known now as Versus. The Nashville Network (TNN) was changed to Spike TV and then just to Spike. And now, a real head scratcher. The Sci-Fi Channel, home to “Battlestar Galactica” is going to be called Syfy. Yep. This happened yesterday. I was just hoping it was a joke and I’d wake up and it would be over, but no. It goes into effect on July 7. And the new slogan is “Imagine Greater.” I think some people who love words are going to take issue with that. 

Syfy. Why? In short, because it doesn’t want to be pigeonholed as, you know, a science fiction channel, and it wants to present all kinds of programming. Or, as only people who dream up rebranding campaigns can put it, here’s the official corporate reasoning: “By changing the name to Syfy, which remains phonetically identical, the new brand broadens perceptions and embraces a wider and more diverse range of imagination-based entertainment including fantasy, paranormal, reality, mystery, action and adventure, as well as science fiction. It also positions the brand for future growth by creating an ownable trademark that can travel easily with consumers across new media and non-linear digital platforms, new international channels and extend into new business ventures.”

New Paltz police seek man who put ‘spy camera’ in bathroom – The Daily Freeman News)

NEW PALTZ — The New Paltz Police Department is seeking a man who put surveillance a camera in a unisex bathroom inside a coffee shop and apparently left an image of himself on the camera.  Police said Tuesday that the “spy camera” was installed in the bathroom of Starbucks Coffee at 1 Plattekill Ave. It was discovered by an employee shortly after it was placed there on March 10 at about 7 p.m., police said.  Police have recovered a video they believe shows the suspect and released frames from the video. They described him as a white male of thin build, 35 to 40 years old, and about 6-foot tall. The suspect has a beard with a mustache and was wearing circular wire-rimmed glasses, police said. He has a ponytail that goes midway down his back. He appears to be wearing an Army green military jacket with a shoulder sling-style backpack. Police said the suspect appears to be right-handed.  The man is wanted for felony unlawful surveillance.

Financial Crisis Puts Cigar Nubs in Fashion

You know the market’s tough when cigar smokers talk about cutting back. The crisis is real when they actually do so. With the sale of boxes, humidors and high-end cigar accessories dropping (I have anecdotally) – not to mention a cigar tax increase that has moved quickly from specter to materialization – retailers are scrambling for ways to keep customers in their stores.  When I met with Don Pepin Garcia back in November to discuss his new release, My Father’s Cigar, he mentioned the need to keep prices reasonable, citing long-term relationships with his customers as taking priority over short-term measures. But, it looks like this may not be enough – as evidenced by the “nub club.” 

Discount cigar retailer Famous Smoke Shop has put together a selection of six-cigar samplers, consisting of “nubs,” and is pricing them favorably to keep cigar smokers engaged. This new program is intended to allow customers to try nubs without requiring them to shell out for full boxes. Each sampler has three pairs of cigars, each with different wrappers: Habano, Connecticut and Cameroon. Prices range from $27 to $34.50 per pack.  Promotions like this one drive home the fact that we’re all in it together. The manufacturers and retailers don’t want to see us curtail our smoking experiences or trade down to “lesser” cigars. They want us to smoke what we know we enjoy. At the same time, smokers realize that we have to do our part and continue to buy the sticks we like.  Cooperation is better than any bailout program.

Sir Paul Stephenson raids home of suspect who had already been nicked | The Sun |News

MET Police chief Sir Paul Stephenson leads a huge team of cops in a swoop on a suspect’s home — only to find he’d already been nicked. Officers armed with stun guns and battering rams crashed into the house as a police chopper hovered above them during yesterday’s dawn raid. EIGHTY cops took part in a series of raids to smash a burglary gang. Sir Paul fronted the operation to nab the suspected ringleader in Purley, South London. But the man, in his mid-twenties, had been arrested hours earlier after a break-in at a shop a few miles away in Kingston.

Sir Paul, 55 — appointed Commissioner in February — insisted: “This is good news and a good result, we have got our man after all. The operation was very professional. The suspect was not there but that’s the nature of police work.” An Aston Martin DB7 and £15,000 in cash were seized. Eight other homes were also raided as part of Operation Calderwood. Cops arrested a man for possession of CS spray and found a magnetic device to remove car keys through a letterbox. The gang are suspected of a string of burglaries and car robberies in the London area. Nine people have already been arrested since December. One man has been convicted and five await trial.

Brothel fights recession, offers flat rate – UPI.com

BERLIN, March 16 (UPI) — A brothel in Berlin says it is trying to lure recession-wary customers by offering a flat rate for prostitutes with unlimited food and drinks. The brothel said $90 can now purchase time with any of the establishment’s women plus all the food and drinks a customer can consume, during off-peak times, between 10 a.m. and 4 p.m. weekdays, and 10 a.m. until 5 p.m. weekends, Der Spiegel reported Monday. “Seventy euros ($90), that includes everything — ladies, drinks and food,” a brothel employee said. The brothel’s bosses said that as a further measure to attract business, the establishment is now allowing men to bring along their wives to share in the paid-sex experience.

Twitter: Juror Johnathan Powell Allegedly Sent Tweets During Court Case In Arkansas, Appeal Claims | World News | Sky News

Stoam Holdings, which makes building materials, lost a multi-million dollar case brought by two investors.  It has filed a motion asking for a new trial, claiming juror Johnathan Powell “tweeted” during the case and was not impartial.  He allegedly posted comments such as: “Oh and nobody buy Stoam. It’s bad mojo and they’ll probably cease to exist, now that their wallet is 12m lighter.”  Another post on his profile reads: “‘So, Johnathan, what did you do today?’ Oh, nothing really. I just gave away 12 million dollars of somebody else’s money!” 

Lawyer Drew Ledbetter argues the messages show Mr Powell was “predisposed toward giving a verdict that would impress his audience”.  The motion on behalf of Russell Wright and his firm, Stoam Holdings, claims the juror sent eight Twitter updates during the trial.  Stoam had been fighting a case over whether investors’ money was mishandled. 

Mr Powell’s profile appears to show updates on the media attention he has received since the motion was filed in Fayetteville, Arkansas.  “Twitter got me into this mess, maybe it can get me out. Do I need a lawyer?” one message states.  Mr Powell denies any wrongdoing and insists all his tweets were sent after the verdict.  Twitter is a micro-blogging site which allows users to send 140-character messages, or “tweets” from a phone or computer.

For the new faux poor, flaunting wealth is a no-no | theage.com.au

BEING rich can be such a bore. Choice, that most precious of things, is taken away when you can have it all. The hotels, restaurants and bars you frequent are restricted to the accepted few, the designers you wear prescribed with the same rigid authority as the way you wear your hair, the expressions you use and the company you keep.  Also, the things you are (decently) allowed to complain about are lamentably few. Then along comes the credit crunch, knocking you off the Forbes’ 2009 billionaires list, which reveals that even Bill Gates is $A26 billion the poorer.  You wait and wait to feel the hit to your daily life — and nothing happens. First comes the euphoria, then the disappointment: no delicious commiseration sessions over apple martinis at Cecconis, no enforced eBay shopping to pride yourself on, and no travelling on the bus to find aubergines for five pence less. 

As Britain unites in Blitz spirit, you stand alone, a blushing figure with a disgracefully expensive It-bag. Unless, of course, you pretend …  That, according to this month’s Tatler, is what the tribe christened the New Faux Poor do. They tell lies too, about being forced to downsize their houses, bonuses and expense accounts, while exaggerating the amount of money they’ve lost, chance of redundancy and the number of times they use public transport.  They sack members of their household staff, just because everyone else is doing it; develop a utilities conscience (”even Gates tells his wife to turn the bathroom light off these days”); wander, shuddering but brave, through the aisles of discount supermarket Aldi and back out again, empty-handed (but resolved to tell everyone just how marvellous it was). 

Such fraudulence is our default position, says Peter York, co-author of The Official Sloane Ranger Handbook. “Humble and threadbare is what the English do best. This recession has given us a lovely excuse to behave in a way that comes quite naturally to us. The boom times went against the grain of our national character. Now there is a delight in rediscovering poverty … the rich are throwing themselves into it and loving every minute.”

Sesame Street’s word of the day is layoffs

Bert and Ernie’s jobs are likely safe, but Sesame Workshop, the non-profit organization that produces Sesame Street, is cutting 20 per cent of its workforce because of the recession.  “After careful review, we have concluded that we will have to operate with fewer resources in order to achieve our strategic priorities,” New York-based Sesame Workshop said today in an e-mailed statement. The company said it eliminated 67 of 355 staff positions.  Sesame Street, featuring characters such as Big Bird and Oscar the Grouch, has been on the air since 1969 and is the most widely viewed children’s TV show in the world, according to the producers.

Three months ago, Sesame Workshop chief executive Gary Knell told Bloomberg Radio that while the company was “able to withstand” recessions, it was not “immune.”  And while the layoffs are more bad economic news in an era full of it, bloggers around the world can’t help but have a little fun with the news. Several have cheekily suggested including the character Elmo among the job losses because they’ve grown tired of his annoying voice. BankerGoneBroke.com featured a photo of Cookie Monster surrounded by the words “Brother, can you spare a dime?”  “Oscar the Grouch never lived outside his means,” joked one submitter at SF-Gate.com. And TMZ.com, the web’s snarkiest celebrity website, couldn’t resist. “When not asked to weigh in on the situation, Kermit the Frog responded by throwing up his hands, and screaming the following statement: ‘Ahhhhhhhh.”  That one, however, drew a quick rebuke from a reader: “People losing their jobs is not very funny.”

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