Given that University of Florida’s Tim Tebow won the Heisman Trophy award, this new version (from Epic Carnaval via The Big Lead) seemed appropriate:
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3:30 PM this past Saturday was an awesome opportunity to watch 3 great college football games, and since I have 3 TVs in my sports nook, I tuned into the USC-Notre Dame and Florida-Kentucky game while focusing on the Miami-Florida State rivalry game on the main screen. Then it dawned on me - Of all six of these teams, the only team ranked in the Top 10 was Kentucky. The basketball school. Have Miami and Florida State fallen that far off the map? Their games used to be the centerpiece of the first weekend in October. Typically the game of the century every year, with the rosters brimming with future NFL talent.
Twenty years ago, Miami and Florida State played in one of the most memorable college games and it eventually settled the 1987 national championship. On Saturday, they meet again with little more at stake than bragging rights. The Seminoles (4-2, 1-2 Atlantic Coast Conference) and Hurricanes (4-3, 1-2) both need a win in the regionally televised game to keep hopes alive for a respectable season by their standards. That mediocrity has many nostalgic for the 1987 game, which showcased an unprecedented cadre of rising stars in Miami’s 26-25 victory. One of the most compelling matchups was Miami wide receiver Michael Irvin and Florida State cornerback Deion Sanders. “I don’t think I have ever been in a game where there was more talent on the football field between two ballclubs,” Florida State coach Bobby Bowden said this week. “They had a lot of first-rounders and we did too.” Ten first-round picks were among the more than 60 Seminole and Hurricane athletes who played Oct. 3, 1987, and eventually made it to NFL training camps.
And it’s not just this team. Looking at the Top 10 in the 1990 AP Poll, Few of these teams have shown any kind of form as of late. And Houston has completely fallen off the map.
1990 Final Poll Final Poll released after BowlsFinal Rank Team Record 1 Colorado 11-1-1 2 Georgia Tech 11-0-1 3 Miami (FL) 10-2 4 Florida St. 10-2 5 Washington 10-2 6 Notre Dame (IN) 9-3 7 Michigan 9-3 8 Tennessee 9-2-2 9 Clemson (SC) 10-2 10 Houston (TX) 10-1
Ebb and flow, I guess. Nebraska is reeling - they just brought Tom Osborne back. Penn State and Michigan are in dire need of new coaching. We all know about Notre Dame. And all these mid-major schools like West Virginia, Kansas, Rutgers, South Florida, Fresno State and Boise State have made or are making runs at the title. Oh well, maybe after an up and down year, Miami’s comeback win at FSU will help them turn the corner.
Colin McCarthy returned a fumble 27 yards for Miami’s second touchdown in 11 seconds late in the fourth quarter and the Hurricanes beat Florida State 37-29 Saturday. For the first time since 1977, the rivalry game that helped decide so many national titles during the 1980s and 90s was played with neither team ranked. Fittingly, the Seminoles and ‘Canes combined for nine turnovers, five by FSU. Minutes before Miami’s two quick touchdowns, the Hurricanes (5-3, 2-2 Atlantic Coast Conference) appeared to have lost their best chance to get the win when Kirby Freeman was stopped for no gain on a fourth-and-1 at the Florida State 1 with 5:29 left and the ‘Canes trailing 29-24. But Freeman, who replaced injured Kyle Wright in the first half, drove Miami 83 yards in a 11/2 minutes to take the lead 30-29 on a 13-yard pass to Dedrick Epps with 1:15 left.
It wasn’t a pretty game. Both quarterbacks were seemingly trying to give the game away. And when UM’s Kyle Wright got knocked out, backup Kirby Freeman did his best to step up those efforts. And I’m no Kyle Wright fan. But Kirby calmed down and the UM defense stepped up. We’re on our way back, baby! FSU - I think you might want to prepare a nice retirement package for ol’ Bobby. It’s time for a change. We can’t let teams like Boston College be number 2 in the BCS. The ACC is supposed to be our playground.
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Note from author: As you know, there is a team up North that I dislike more than any other in the world. I thought I would share some jokes about this team. Enjoy
What do you get when you cross a Gator with a groundhog?
Six more weeks of bad football.
If you have a car containing a Gator wide receiver, a Gator linebacker, and a Gator defensive back, who is driving the car?
The cop.
What’s the difference between a Gator and a bucket of manure?
The bucket.
What’s the best thing to come out of Gainesville?
I-75
Why did the Gator grad get fired from the M&M factory?
He was throwing away too many W’s.
How many Gators does it take to tackle Ken Dorsey?
Good question, no one knows.
What did the UF graduate say to the UM graduate?
“You want fries with that?”
Why is UF changing their mascot to the possum?
Because they play dead at home and get killed on the road.
How do you sell out a UF home game?
Invite the Miami Hurricanes!
What should you do if you find three Gators buried up to their necks in cement?
Get more cement!
Good uses for a UF diploma:
How many Gators does it take to tackle a UM running back?
I don’t know, but it’s more than eleven!
What do you call an UF grad wearing a suit and tie?
The defendant!
What does the average UF student get on their SAT’s?
Drool.
Why did Forrest Gump choose ‘Bama over UF?
He wanted an academic challenge!
A Miami grad, A Harvard grad, and a Florida grad are waiting to be executed by firing squad. The Miami grad is first, and as he is waiting to be executed, he yells, “Earthquake!” The firing squad panics and runs away, allowing the Miami grad to jump over the wall and escape. The Harvard grad is next, and as he is waiting to be executed, he yells, “Flood!” The firing squad again panics and runs away, so the Harvard grad also jumps over the wall and escapes. The Florida grad is last. As he is waiting to be executed, he remembers what the Miami and Harvard grads had done, so he yells, “Fire!”
What do a Miami student and a UF student have in common?
They were both accepted to UF.
A guy is in a bar with his dog, watching the UM vs. UF game. The Gators surprisingly manage to get a field goal and the dog barks repeatedly. The bartender looks at the dog in awe. After a while the Gators score a touchdown and the dog does flips and dances across the bar. Then, the bartender looks at the guy and says, “Man, that’s amazing. What does your dog do if UF beats Miami?” The guy replied, “I dunno, I’ve only had him 17 years.”
What do tornadoes and UF grads have in common?
They both always end up in trailer parks!
A man walks into a store and says, “I would like a orange hat, blue pants, green sweater, and white shoes.” The clerk says, “Are you a Gator fan?” “Yes,” replies the man, “How did you guess-by the color combination?” “No,” answers the clerk, “because this is a hardware store.”
There was a couple who were getting divorced, so the judge said to the child, “Who do you want to live with? Do you want to live with your Dad?” “No,” said the child, “he beats me.” “Do you want to live with your Mom?” “No, she beats me too.” “Well who do you want to live with?” “I want to live with a Gator Fan.” Confused, the judge asked, “Why?” The child replied, “Because they never beat anybody that’s good!”
One day in a bus station, one man approached another and said, “I bet your from the University of Florida.” “Why yes I am” answered the other. “How could you tell, was it my good looks, my debonair charm, my taste in clothing?” “No,” replied the first, “I saw your class ring as you were picking your nose.”
Did you hear about the big power outage at the UF student union?
Forty Gators were stuck on the escalator for 3 hours.
What is the difference between a Gator fan’s car and a Porcupine?
The Porcupine has the pricks on the outside.
There’s a guy from UF driving from Gainesville to Coral Gables, and a UM student driving from Coral Gables to Gainesville. In the middle of the night with no other cars on the road, they hit each other head on and both cars go flying off in different directions. The Gator manages to climb out of his car and survey the damage. He looks at his twisted car and says, “Man, I am really lucky to be alive!!!”
Likewise, the Cane scrambles out of his car and looks at his wreckage. He too says to himself, “I can’t believe I survived this wreck!” The Gator walks over to the Cane student and says, “Hey man, I think this is a sign from God that we should put away our petty differences and live as friends instead of arch rivals.” The Canes Student thinks for a moment and says, “You know, you’re absolutely right! We should be friends. Now I’m going to see what else survived this wreck.” So the UM Student pops open his trunk and finds a full unopened bottle of Jack Daniels. He says to the Gator, “I think this is another sign from God that we should toast to our new found understanding and friendship.” The Gator says, “You’re right!”, and he grabs the bottle and starts sucking down Jack Daniels. After putting away nearly half the bottle the Gator hands it back to the UM Student and says, “Your turn!” The UM Student twists the cap back on the bottle and says, “Nahh, I think I’ll wait for the cops to show up.”
Why do UF grads hang their diplomas in the rear windows of their cars?
So they can park in “handicapped” spaces.
How do you get a UF graduate off your front porch?
Pay him for the pizza!!!!
A guy walks into a bar and says, “Hey barkeep- did you ever hear the one about the Florida Gators?” Four huge men stand up and approach the man. One of them says, “We play football at UF- you sure you wanna tell that joke?” The guy replies, “What? and have to explain it four times?”
What is the difference between a Gator and Rice Crispies?
Rice Crispies know what to do in a bowl.
Where was O.J. hiding right before the famous white Bronco Chase?
On the UF campus, because that’s the last place you’ll find a football player.
What’s the difference between a Gator and a dollar bill?
You only get three quarters out of a Gator.
Four alumni were climbing a mountain one day. Each was from a different Florida school and each proclaimed to be the most loyal of all fans. As they climbed higher, they argued as to which one of them was the most loyal of all. They continued to argue all the way up the mountain, and finally as they reached the top, the FSU grad hurled himself off the mountain, shouting, “This is for FSU! Go Noles!” as he fell to his doom. Not wanting to be outdone, the UCF grad threw himself off the mountain proclaiming, “This is for Central Florida! Let’s Go Knights!” Seeing this, the UM grad walked over and shouted, “This is for everyone!” and pushed the Gator off the side of the mountain.
Just when you thought there could be no more jokes about UF…
Top 10 Classes at UF:
They’ve hired a new waitress at the coffee shop on north Monroe. She’s a robot. A man walked in and she greeted him at the door. Dinner for one? Yes he replied. She said, tell me sir, what is your IQ? 150 he said. So they talked for a few minutes about global current events. She said excuse me for a minute as another man came in. Dinner for one? Yes the man replied. Tell me she said, what is your IQ? The man said 120. So they sat for a few minutes talking about the possibility of a comet striking the earth and other natural disasters. Another man came in the restaurant and she greeting him at the door. Dinner for one she asks? Yes, replied the man. If you don’t mind sir, would you tell me your IQ? 50 the man said. To which the robot replied, GO Gators!
What are the toughest 6 years in a Gator’s life?
3rd grade.
What do you call a Gator with half a brain?
“Gifted”
What job do they assign Gators at the M&M factory?
Proofreading.
How many UF freshmen does it take to change a lightbulb?
Zero, it is a sophomore course.
Why don’t Gators use 911 in an emergency?
They can’t find 11 on the dial.
Did you hear about the Gators found frozen in a car at the drive-in movie in January?
They went to see “Closed for Winter”.
What do you call 12 Gators in a basement?
A “Whine” Cellar
Three students went to the Olympics in Atlanta. One was a Cane, one was a Duke student and one was a Gator. They had almost no money to start with so by the time they got to Atlanta they had no money for tickets to the events. The Cane put a pair of track shoes around his neck, went up to the track venue and said “Smith, University of Miami, track.” So the security guard let him in. The Duke student got the message. He put a pair of sneakers around his neck, went up to the basketball venue and said “Johnson, Duke basketball.” The security guard let him in. The gator thought he had it. He saw a roll of barb wire by the side of the road, picked it up and threw it over his shoulder. He went up to the nearest venue and said “Miller, University of Florida, fencing.”
A first grade teacher explains to her class that she is a Florida Gator. She asks her students to raise their hands if they are Gators too. No one really knowing what a Florida Gator is but wanting to be like their teacher, their hands explode into the air like fleshy fireworks. There is, however, one exception. A girl named Kristen has not gone along with the crowd. The teacher asks her why she has decided to be different. “Because I’m not a Gator.” Then, asks the teacher, what are you? “Why, I’m a proud Miami Hurricane,” boasts the little girl. The teacher is a little perturbed now, her face slightly red. She asks Kristen why she is a Hurricane. “Well, my mom and dad are Hurricanes, so I’m a Hurricane too.” The teacher is now angry. “That’s no reason,” she says loudly. “What if your mom was a moron, and your dad was a moron. What would you be then?” After a pause, and a smile. “Then,” says Kristen, “I’d be a Gator.”
Popularity: 6% [?]
‘Canes spank post-Spurrier Gators at Swamp
GAINESVILLE, Fla. — Fifteen years of buildup during which Miami and Florida garnered five national championships and two Heismans, and the best arm in the joint belonged to a strong safety. The best legs belonged to a former backup tailback. Florida’s best chance to overcome all that was to place a Bat-phone-like emergency call to the nation’s capital. And that ain’t happening. Not now. Not ever. In case Gator Nation didn’t get the memo, the Spurrier era is over. No. 1 Miami made it official with a 41-16 victory that laid waste to the record book and the immediate hopes of those wishing that somehow Ron Zook would make it all better again.
Ken Dorsey (left) outduels fellow Heisman candidate Rex Grossman despite three interceptions.(AP)
CANES BLOW THROUGH SWAMP, TROUNCE GATORS 41-16
The top ranked University of Miami beat #6 Florida 41-16 in front of a packed house in The Swamp. Led by tailback Willis McGahee, the Hurricanes ran for 306 yards on 46 carries. There is no question that at this point of the 2002 season, Miami is the best team in the country.
Trivial pursuit before ‘Canes-Gators showdown
True or False? Florida lost a one-point game to UM when a blocked PAT was scooped up by a guy named Inky, who then lateraled back to the kicker, who carried the ball into the end zone for the decisive point. True or False? Miami stunned the Gators despite starting a QB who had been a team manager at the start of the season. True or False? In 1965, the original stud Miami QB, George Mira (a righty) beat Florida by throwing a TD pass left-handed when a rusher pinned his right arm. True or False? Florida’s defense once intentionally flopped to the field, allowing Miami to score a late touchdown, so that John Reaves would have time for one final series in which to break an NCAA passing record. True or False? Miami won a game when a 55-yard field goal caromed off an upright and through. True or False? Miami was a Steve Spurrier nemesis. True or False? The ‘Canes clobbered Florida in ‘84 when Bernie Kosar sprinted 97 yards for a TD, as a jubilant Jimmy Johnson tossed his visor in the air. True or False? Howard Schnellenberger ordered a field goal kicked on the final play, with the ‘Canes up 28-7 in Gainesville. True or False? The Gators once celebrated a win by jumping into a pool behind the Orange Bowl’s end zone. Answers: true, true, true, true, true, true, true and true — they’re all true, except for the one about Kosar running 97 yards. Some weird stuff has happened, but not that preposterous. Plus, Jimmy never let a visor (or anything else) touch his hair dome.
Popularity: 5% [?]
We had to do it One Mo’gain.Turn up the volume in the headphones. This is based on the verse of The Great One (Biggie) in All About The Benjamins
We been had skills, NFL still
Dropped bills at will, about a mil for each kill
It be hard to get like us, serious! Envious?
Call us assholes? We’ll still run right past those.
Football for the south east just can’t be beat
But west coast shorty’s like to surf and drink forty’s
Rocking Creed instead of Naughty. Flipping the Dodger cap. (Uh uh)
Tailgates and gridiron. That’s where the party’s at
Ever since the spring we wait for these dates
F— the U of F and F— Florida State
Listen close - is it Kansas? Incorrect answer.
Attack the D-backs. The back field’s split. Dorsey’s grip
Doesn’t slip. Johnson’s break - clean away
Opposing players GET AWAY! cuz the Canes can play
Squeeze off 50 TD’s, don’t tempt me
The loss column we send thee, on the way to Tempe
What??
Copyright (C) 2002, Gatorhater Productions, Inc. (Delaware)
Popularity: 5% [?]
Lionel’s Place: 2001 SUGAR BOWL | New Orleans, La. | Jan. 2, 2001
‘Canes Stir Up a Storm: Miami 37 Florida
20
They wanted to play in the national title game, and Tuesday night the Miami Hurricanes made their point that they deserved to be there. Miami handled Florida 37-20 in the Sugar Bowl and finish the season with an 11-1 record. Still, the national title will belong to Oklahoma if it beats Florida State in the Orange Bowl on Wednesday.• Frozen moment: Davenport makes catch that counts
• In the crosshairs: Miami’s Santana Moss | BCS site
• ‘Canes mascot in doghouse | Sugar Bowl notebook
• Sugar Bowl photo galleryMiami and Florida resurrect a sleeping rivalry Back in the day, Miami-Florida was the dominant rivalry in the Sunshine State before Florida opted out of it 13 years ago.Sugar Bowl has its ties to national title The No. 2 team in the writers’ poll is in New Orleans and has title hopes of its own.Butch Davis says he’s staying put with Hurricanes
Florida, Miami players clash in
Bourbon Street brawl
Hurricanes arrive for Sugar Bowl — in an assortment of ways
Reserve Florida DT declared ineligible
Florida’s top rusher Gillespie
undergoes knee surgery
Bowl picture complete: OU vs. FSU in Orange Bowl
Sooners finish regular season as No. 1 teamAP Top 25: Oklahoma, Miami finish 1-2
with Bill Curry
After 13 years the two heavyweight
