DABR Twitter Web Client Mini Blog Yo Mama Jokes Sports Bookmarklets About Us

January 30, 2010

John Terry Wayne Bridge Jokes



 

The Press Association: Terry refuses to comment on claims

England football captain John Terry turned out to skipper Chelsea after refusing to comment on allegations that he had an affair with the girlfriend of a team-mate. Terry cheated on his wife Toni with French underwear model Vanessa Perroncel, then the girlfriend of former Chelsea defender Wayne Bridge, it was alleged in newspaper reports.

oh dear – well – here goes:

Wayne Bridge’s wife must be a goalpost in Moscow because John Terry hit it.

Wayne Bridge sent his missus a replica of his cock made from Cadburys chocolate. She said that she prefers Terrys

Capello is expected to name Gary Neville as the new England Captain since he hasn’t got a chance of sleeping with anyone’s wife.

John Terry has scored away from home again – this time it wasn’t Wayne Bridge’s girl.

Well, Wayne Bridge is always injured, someone had to step in and do it.

I don’t know why everyone is giving John Terry such a hard time.
As a footballer, getting a girl to consent is a rarity, he should be commended.

BREAKING: John Terry is set to appear before the Iraq inquiry after alleged secret meetings with Bush

John Terry has “vowed to give everything to the team”. Yeah, syphilis… chlamydia… warts… herpes…

I knew JT liked scoring at The Bridge, but this is just ridiculous.

“Hi, I’m John Terry and sneaking out Windows was my idea.”

John Terry to star in new TV program “Other Footballers Wives”

After Wayne Bridge refused to play for England while John Terry remains captain, fans want Terry to try it on with Emile Heskey’s wife.

At the end of February, Chelsea are playing away from home between two European legs. Something John Terry will be more than familiar with.

Same old Terry, always cheating.

Q: What do Wayne Bridge and the Titanic have in common?
A: They both should’ve stayed at Southampton.

Ashley Cole was stopped for speeding in London. When the police ask him to explain, he says: “I just heard that John Terry’s parked outside my house!”

What’s Wayne Bridge’s wife got in common with a Champions League final goalpost? They’ve both been banged by John Terry…

Pity, Wayne Bridge wasn’t even first choice with his wife!

Somebody bought me some terry’s all gold today. was suprised to find new chocolates called ‘bigamy’ and ‘coward’

Gag order lifted in Terry case? That’s what SHE said!

JT said he didn’t mean to have sex with Vanessa Perroncel – he just slipped while he was showing her how to take a penalty.

Songs: To the tune of Simple Gifts (Lord of the Dance)

Chelsea, wherever you may be,
Don’t leave your wife with John Terry,
He’ll take her to a clinic in a back alley,
And then he’ll fuck off to the UAE

Chelsea, wherever you may be,
Don’t leave your wife with John Terry,
He’ll whinge and he’ll cry, and he’ll piss off to Dubai
While the captaincy decision is nigh

Chelsea, Wherever you may be,
Don’t leave your wife with John Terry.
Cuz he likes a shag, he likes a bit of fluff,
And he’ll get your missus up the duff

Terry … his whole family
can’t stay away from the scrutiny
whether selling dust or nicking groceries
now it’s fratricide with adultery

Chelsea wherever you may be,
Don’t trust your wives with John Terry,
His dad sells crack, his mum is a thief
He cries when he misses a penalty!

Another song to The Addams Family:
They say his mum’s a stealer,
They say his dad’s a dealer,
He’s screwing his mate’s Sheila,
The Terry Family”.

To sum it all up: John Terry cheats, can’t keep a clean sheet and scores away from home.

Bookmark and Share Email This Print This PDF This Blog This Facebook Twiit Google Google Yahoo! Buzz Ping StumbleUpon LinkedIn MySpace

Popularity: 76% [?]

September 2, 2008

Foreigners Killing The Premier League



 

I used to think people were crazy to complain that foreigners in the Premier League were killing the England national team. But now I think they’re right – only it’s not the foreign players, it’s the foreign owners that are to blame. The massive influx in money (highlighted by the recent madness at Manchester City) has created a culture in the Premier League where winning and staying in all competitions is important not just for the fans and players, but also to the long-term financial health of the club. Meaning that trivial things like World Cup qualifiers and even cup games are given second-class status to Premier League weekend games and European competition.

Take the example of Steven Gerrard’s latest injury. It seems that Gerrard has been playing on a groin injury for a while, even after further aggravating it in a midweek Champion’s League qualifier that Liverpool had to win. So what does Manager Rafa Benitez do? Asks him to gut it out for the weekend Premier League game and then schedule surgery for the international break – which, as you can imagine, did not initially sit well with England Manager Fabio Capello.

Rafa Benitez insisted he had made his peace with England coach Fabio Capello yesterday and dismissed claims of a breakdown in communication over Steven Gerrard’s latest injury absence.

Gerrard will have the second of two minor groin operations today and will miss Capello’s first two competitive games in charge, as England begin their World Cup campaign against Andorra next Saturday and Croatia four days later.

Capello was reportedly unhappy at being kept in the dark over Liverpool’s decision to arrange surgery for their skipper in the immediate aftermath of Wednesday night’s Champions League qualifying round win over Standard Liege.

Now it seems that captain John Terry, Frank Lampard, Owen Hargreaves, Wes Brown, and Ashley Cole will also miss one or both international games – which leaves me wondering how England is expected to get a result against Croatia – the team that will most likely be their toughest competition in the group – in a competition where, unlike Euro 2008 qualifying, winning the group is paramount to qualification. I know it happens on-and-off already, but is this going to get to the point where clubs will start to come up with all kinds of excuses to keep their best players out of all international games?

I suppose the good thing is that some non-regulars like Fulham’s Jimmy Bullard will get a chance to impress Capello. But without some kind of continuity in Capello’s system, how can the team be expected to play as a unit? Some would say Capello should drop the overpaid regulars and give the young England stars more consideration. But Capello seems to have a fondness for a more grizzled England team (see:David Beckham) with Michael Owen the only notable exception.

I say instead of picking an England All-Star team, just send Aston Villa. They seem to be the only Premier League team stockpiling young England talent (Ashley Young, Gabby Agbonlahor, Gareth Barry, Steve Sidwell, Luke Young, Curtis Davies, etc.) and there’ll be no worries about not playing together. I suppose they need to find someone to replace Carew, Laursen, Friedel and a few others, but it would certainly have saved them from paying both Shteve McClaren and Fabio Capello all that money when they could get the guy (Martin O’Neill) they probably should have hired after Sven left. Of course we’ll look past the fact that Villa’s owners are American and their manager is Irish!

Bookmark and Share Email This Print This PDF This Blog This Facebook Twiit Google Google Yahoo! Buzz Ping StumbleUpon LinkedIn MySpace

Popularity: unranked [?]

Powered by WordPress

Blog Information