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April 22, 2009

Miss California Outrage?



 

I have yet to find a credible answer as to why all the outrage over Miss California’s opinion on gay marriage in the Miss USA pageant this weekend. If you missed it – here is the video:

again – I get that gay marriage is a big issue nowadays with all the recent legislative and judicial activity in the area in Vermont, New York and Iowa. But come on – IT’S A FUCKING BEAUTY PAGEANT!!! Miss California is hardly in the thought leadership about the pros and cons of gay marriage. She is not the go-to pundit on Fox News and is just trying to get in line to get screwed by The Donald.

Moreover, what did she say that was so bad. Misspeakings aside, what she basically said was that we have choice but she doesn’t believe in gay marriage. And if you remember Miss Teen South Carolina you know misspeakings by beauty queens on world affairs are as common as curry in Mumbai. Ok so we don’t really have a choice outside of moving to one of the 4 gay marriage states. But it’s still her opinion. Has the debate on this issue gotten so toxic that an internet blogger is now dropping 4-letter C bombs on this know-nothing and we’re laughing? It’s not like she’s Joe the Plumber – a subversive political agent of the right from the very beginning who set out to torpedo the Obama campaign with illogical but catchy phrases. She’s just there to get a lifetime supply of Maybeline products and a tiara that “they can never take away” – and to become Donald Trump’s collateral damage. She probably doesn’t even fully understand the issues or the history behind marriage or even basic civics – you know – since her generation grew up with standardized tests given by automaton teachers who had to moodlight at Target. But I digress …

If gay marriage is going to get the kind of unassailable unretrenchable progress that it deserves, the ignorance of those that are uninvolved in the debate or “young and stupid” must be met with reasoned responses and thoughtful anecdotes, not “dumb bitch” blasts by vapid, soulless societal parasites. Or even derision by left-leaning pundits. Take the time to introduce this youngun and those like her to the arguments for gay marriage, not dismiss her outright as a Sean Hannity or a Glenn Beck. That’s the Israel-vs-Gaza approach. The people who won’t be swayed on this are evident and are wastes of our time. It’s the people who can be swayed that we need to focus on. And that included (I think) Miss California. Sadly, now that she’s been made into a anti-gay mascot we’ll have to settle for the other beauty contestants and impressionable young adults out there.

In the words of Chocolate News host David Allen Grier, “Have you people lost your damn mind?!?”

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November 20, 2007

Fake Blogs Rawk!!!



 

I’ve found a goldmine of humor – and it’s called Fake Blogs – or more accurately NewsGroper. It’s Stephen Colbert meets DailyKos almost. I was reading The Miami Sports Blog and found out that Miami Heat center Shaq had a blog … well, a fake blog – where I uncovered this gem about his recent divorce:

Shaunie, I am sorry that this had to happen. But when a woman tries to keep secrets from Shaq, she must pay the consequences. When you were hiding that cash in the garbage pails behind the pool, I thought it was just part of our kinky Sopranos role-playing. But it turns out that you were really hiding cash from me, and now Shaq is broke.

It’s not all your fault, Shaunie. It doesn’t help that Shaq only allowed you to address him as “#32.” It was probably wrong of me to demand that you dress as a Nubian Queen to all of our dinner parties. What probably put you over the top was when Shaq made you repeat “The Royal Penis is clean, your Highness” after every time we made oral love.

Had me ROLLING. But they have tons of other fake blogs there too! People like Hillary Clinton and Rudy Giuliani, Britney Spears, Vladimir Putin, Ann Coulter and Donald Trump. In fact MSNBC got in trouble, apparently, for taking these blogs seriously!:

IN a story that MSNBC.com ran last Friday on how the legal troubles of disgraced NFL star Michael Vick are dividing African-Americans, Web site editors apparently fell hook, line and sinker for a parody Web site that made up a quote from the Rev. Al Sharpton.

In the first version of the story that appeared on MSNBC.com, Sharpton was quoted as having written on his personal blog, “If the police caught Brett Favre (a white quarterback for the Green Bay Packers) running a dolphin-fighting ring out of his pool, where dolphins with spears attached to their foreheads fought each other, would they bust him? Of course not. They would get his autograph, complimenting him on tightly spiraled passes, then bet on one of his dolphins.”

You have to read the story to understand just how shitty a job this MSNBC reporter did. I mean there was some pretty obvious hyperbole in there. How fucked up an opinion must you have of Sharpton that you’d accept this as truth? That you can’t distill nonsense from sense. That you don’t notice the names of the other fake bloggers on the site including Vladimir Fucking Putin!?! (that’s his real middle name) So what does MSNBC call it in their retraction? A hoax. Hah! – Fake Al Sharpton had a response locked and loaded:

I can assure you, I’m no hoax. When I said that Brett Favre was probably fighting dolphins against each other to the death with swords crudely attached by duct tape, it obviously wasn’t real; it was a METAPHOR. First of all, the adhesive in the tape wouldn’t hold up in salt water, and also, how many backyard saline pools have you ever swam in?

Fake Blogs RULE!

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