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January 15, 2010

Spicy! [Late Night Wars: Jay Leno Goes After Conan O'Brien, Jimmy Kimmel Decimates Leno to His Face, O'Brien Still Going Rogue - TV - Gawker.TV]

Filed under: Primetime, TV — Tags: , , , , , , , , , — webadmin @ 1:09 am


 

man this is getting good!

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January 14, 2010

Conan out. Leno back. It’s official. Officially the death knell for NBC.



 

Jay Leno has made a new deal with NBC, which gives him “The Tonight Show” from 11:35 – 12:35 … sources tell TMZ.

As we first reported, under the contract Jay had been working under, he was guaranteed the 10 PM hour. By moving him to 11:35, NBC was in breach of his contract and needed to negotiate a new deal. That is now done, sources tell TMZ.

So Conan O’Brien is out, and Jay is restored.

so how did we get here? Well, it all started with a letter:Conan O’Brien Says He Won’t Host ‘Tonight Show’ After Leno – Media Decoder Blog – NYTimes.com

People of Earth:

In the last few days, I’ve been getting a lot of sympathy calls, and I want to start by making it clear that no one should waste a second feeling sorry for me. For 17 years, I’ve been getting paid to do what I love most and, in a world with real problems, I’ve been absurdly lucky. That said, I’ve been suddenly put in a very public predicament and my bosses are demanding an immediate decision.

Six years ago, I signed a contract with NBC to take over “The Tonight Show” in June of 2009. Like a lot of us, I grew up watching Johnny Carson every night and the chance to one day sit in that chair has meant everything to me. I worked long and hard to get that opportunity, passed up far more lucrative offers, and since 2004, I have spent literally hundreds of hours thinking of ways to extend the franchise long into the future. It was my mistaken belief that, like my predecessor, I would have the benefit of some time and, just as important, some degree of ratings support from the prime-time schedule. Building a lasting audience at 11:30 is impossible without both.

But sadly, we were never given that chance. After only seven months, with my “Tonight Show” in its infancy, NBC has decided to react to their terrible difficulties in prime time by making a change in their long-established late night schedule.

Last Thursday, NBC executives told me they intended to move the “Tonight Show” to 12:05 to accommodate the “Jay Leno Show” at 11:35. For 60 years, the “Tonight Show” has aired immediately following the late local news. I sincerely believe that delaying the “Tonight Show” into the next day to accommodate another comedy program will seriously damage what I consider to be the greatest franchise in the history of broadcasting. The “Tonight Show” at 12:05 simply isn’t the “Tonight Show.” Also, if I accept this move I will be knocking the “Late Night” show, which I inherited from David Letterman and passed on to Jimmy Fallon, out of its long-held time slot. That would hurt the other NBC franchise that I love, and it would be unfair to Jimmy.

So it has come to this: I cannot express in words how much I enjoy hosting this program and what an enormous personal disappointment it is for me to consider losing it. My staff and I have worked unbelievably hard, and we are very proud of our contribution to the legacy of “The Tonight Show.” But I cannot participate in what I honestly believe is its destruction. Some people will make the argument that with DVRs and the Internet, a time slot doesn’t matter. But with the “Tonight Show,” I believe nothing could matter more.

There has been speculation about my going to another network but, to set the record straight, I currently have no other offer and honestly have no idea what happens next. My hope is that NBC and I can resolve this quickly so that my staff, crew, and I can do a show we can be proud of, for a company that values our work.

Have a great day and, for the record, I am truly sorry about my hair; it’s always been that way.

Yours,

Conan

Why Do Comedians Love Conan? | Columnists | Mediaite

It’s pretty obvious that the comedy world is Team Conan. David Letterman, yes, but also Jimmy Kimmel, Patton Oswalt, NBC stars, the Internet — and few have come out in support for Jay Leno (Paul Reiser, Kevin Smith, weakly from Jerry Seinfeld). But this may be the most earnest response yet: A song written by Upright Citizen’s Brigade co-founder Matt Besser, called “King Zucker & the Soldier” (really).
I don’t see any divided loyalties in the comedy community. All comedians who care about comedy love and respect Conan. Not only are Conan and his staff comedic geniuses, they are also students of the art form of comedy. That’s why Conan respects the tonight show too much to ruin it. Leno obviously doesn’t give a shit. The only good bits he does, he stole from Howard Stern. Leno defines hack. And he’s also an asshole for not knowing when to walk away.

Conan Slams NBC — Again — And, This Time, Leno | TV | Mediaite

Tonight, again, his monologue was laced with jokes sticking it to NBC — plus the first salvos that seemed intentionally aimed at Jay Leno. Until tonight, Conan’s mentions of Leno himself were benign, instead focusing on NBC’s plans with respect to both their shows — which Leno has echoed emphatically on his own show. Tonight, that ended.

Was This Conan O’Brien’s Final Tonight Show? | Online | Mediaite

“My name is Conan O’Brien and I may soon be available for children’s parties,” said O’Brien to start the monologue. He hit NBC hard immediately, saying they are “no longer just screwing up prime time,” and “When I was a little boy, I remember watching the Tonight Show with Johnny Carson and thinking, ‘Someday I’m going to host that show for seven months.’” His first bit was about how the rest of the world somehow cared about the “programming changes at NBC.” Clips of Qaddafi, Ahmadinejad, Castro aired, with related subtitles (apparently Qaddafi didn’t think Leno at 10pm was working for him). There were also the asides. Mentions of NBC ended with O’Brien muttering sarcastically “they’re good people, they’re very good people.” Then came a surprise cameo – Howie Mandel. What did NBC Entertainment think of one of its biggest stars coming on to explore Conan’s options through a mock Deal Or No Deal segment (video below)? “This makes about as much sense as anything else these days,” said O’Brien. Models came out with six different briefcases for O’Brien to chose (although as Mandel noted, NBC must have fired the real models), and he selected one. What was in his briefcase? “Two tickets to see Jay Leno perform stand-up at the Luxor Casino in Las Vegas.”

Even ‘Team Leno’ Is For Conan? | Online | Mediaite

Yes – the URL “teamleno.com” leads to a site that exists, not only drive traffic to the TeamConan.com, but to somehow question the sense of humor for anyone who deigns to classify themself as a fan of Jay Leno.

Everyone Hates Jay Leno? Kimmel Mocks With Scathing Impersonation | Online | Mediaite

As we pointed out yesterday, Jay Leno would like you to know that this is not his fault. But judging by the reactions of his fellow comedians, there is no love lost between Leno and his late-night peers. Given the histories between Leno, David Letterman and of course, Conan O’Brien, it makes sense that there would be some tension in the evening monologues. But when innocent bystander Jimmy Kimmel gets in the act, and goes out of his way to crap on Leno? It might signal that, in fact, Leno doesn’t really have many pals in Hollywood.

Letterman Goes To War Against Leno, NBC Over Late Night Woes | TV | Mediaite

last night David Letterman seemed to relish pounding his former network more than others who had taken on the subject before – complete with a Jay Leno impression and a Top 10 list. When Letterman made his very public announcement about having sexual relations with former staffers, other comedians made a few jokes. But Leno went with a full court press – and now it was payback for Letterman. He started with a breakdown of what happened at NBC. He told his audience that “Jay ‘Big Jaw’ Leno” told NBC “I’m having trouble staying up this late,” so was moved to 10pm. To drive the point home further, he described “our friend” Conan O’Brien and “likable young person” Jimmy Fallon. This was an attack on Jay Leno and NBC, only. O’Brien and Fallon were spared. (Not so for Carson Daly, who people haven’t been talking about much. Letterman: “He’s like the Pluto of talk shows. It’s like, is it really a show?”)

Jay Leno Would Like You To Know That This Is Not His Fault | Columnists | Mediaite

Everyone has spent the past few days wondering, what does Conan want? But the other question that no one has asked is, what does Leno want? He has made the point repeatedly that he left late night at number one — does he really want to come back like this?

Paul Reiser: A Teachable Leno Moment

“You know, the extra amazing thing about Jay is — whenever they ask him to try something, he almost always says ‘Sure.’ They asked him to step down and make room for the other funny guy, he said, ‘Sure.’ They asked him to put his show on earlier at night and he said, ‘Sure.’ Then they said, ‘Oh, boy, I think we made a mistake — would you mind going back to where we had you in the first place? That would really help us.’ And you know what he says? ‘Sure.’”

Jerry Seinfeld Toes NBC Company Line; On Team Leno? | Online | Mediaite

What did the network do to Conan? I don’t think anyone’s preventing people from watching Conan….Once they give you the cameras it’s on you. So, I can’t blame NBC for having to move things around. Conan has a chance to destroy everybody. Go ahead. You’re out there. Take it. I don’t think anyone’s done anything to Conan.



Perhaps Conan can now take over as coach of Tennessee!

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September 25, 2008

Letterman Kneecaps McCain For Cancelling



 

Holy Frijoles. Dave Letterman was apparently RED HOT about John McCain suspending his campaign to race back to Washington to deal with the “cratering” economy and cancelling his scheduled appearance on the show last night. Dave spent literally THE ENTIRE SHOW just railing on McCain. It was BRU-TAL.

In addition to repeatedly mocking McCain for skipping out on his scheduled appearance Wednesday, Letterman also devoted, fittingly, his nightly top 10 list to the subject of “Questions People Are Asking The McCain Campaign.” Number Five: “Are You Doing All This Just To Get Out Of Going On Letterman?”

Brutal ESPECIALLY after they found out he was indeed not racing back to Washington, but taping an interview with Katie Couric – a fellow CBS employee!!

“In the middle of the taping Dave got word that McCain was, in fact just down the street being interviewed by Katie Couric. Dave even cut over to the live video of the interview, and said, “Hey Senator, can I give you a ride home?”

Earlier in the show, Dave kept saying, “You don’t suspend your campaign. This doesn’t smell right. This isn’t the way a tested hero behaves.” And he joked: “I think someone’s putting something in his metamucil.”

“He can’t run the campaign because the economy is cratering? Fine, put in your second string quarterback, Sarah Palin. Where is she?”

“What are you going to do if you’re elected and things get tough? Suspend being president? We’ve got a guy like that now!”

It was EPIC. Video below

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March 11, 2008

Eliot Mess? Spitzer Swallows? The Jokes Are In



 

The Spitzer Scandal was only a few hours old and the Late Night TV writers were hard at work on the Spitzer Jokes:
Daily Show/Colbert News One Liners

Spitzer Swallows
Eliott Mess

Stephen Colbert

Now, the governor was supposed to give a press conference today at 2:15 p.m. but a whole hour passed before he spoke. To be fair, it is daylight savings time and the governor usually has a prostitute change his clocks.

David Letterman

Do you think it’s too soon to be hitting on Mrs. Eliot Spitzer?

Right about now, Spitzer is huddling with his advisers to develop a drinking problem.He even He had yellow crime scene tape draped around his pants.

The thinking now is that the governor may step down now to spend less time with his family.

Letterman’s Top 10 Spitzer Excuses

10. “Oh come on, like you were never involved in a prostitution ring.”
9. “Hookers is fun.”
8. “Just trying to help the economy.”
7. “Have you ever been to Albany?”
6. “It’s part of my new MTV prank show, ‘Spitz’d.’”
5. “Haven’t been myself since Roy Scheider died.”
4. “Uh, tainted beef?”
3. “Whether it’s a hooker or your wife, you’re always paying for – you married fellas know what I’m talking about.”
2. “Wanted to be known as the Charlie Sheen of politics.”
1. “I thought Bill Clinton legalized this years ago.”

Jay Leno

They found the source of all global warming in America: Eliot Spitzer’s pants

Hillary Clinton is now only the second angriest woman in the State of New York

Conan O’Brien

Governor Spitzer — this is the latest — responded just a few hours ago by saying, ‘I violated my obligations to my family and I violated my sense of right and wrong.’ Yes, Spitzer also admitted violating someone named Amber.

More to come, surely!


UPDATED Mar 11 9:30 GMT

Videos



Letterman monologue



Letterman’s Top 10



The Daily Show



The Colbert Report

More jokes and one-liners from FreeRepublic

Engine Engine #9 Parodies
Mr. Spitzer, Number Nine,
Going down the Northeast Line,
If the whore is on some crack,
Do you want your money back?

Client, client number 9,
Running down the hooker line.
If she knocks you off the track,
Do you want your money back?



Q: What was Governor Spitzer working on with those young ladies?
A:: The State of his Union.

Pictures

“Eliot — PHONE HO”

NJ: At least your govenor is straight.

Spitzer takes a “Wide Stance” on Ethics Issues….

There once was a Govn’r named Spitzer,
Who couldn’t control his own spritzer.
He used his account
For Kristen to mount,
Got caught and it’s too late to diss her.

“Mr. Spitzer left a deposit.”
Will it leave a stain on has career?

PROSTITUTIN’ SPITZ
Tune: Puttin’ on the Ritz

If you’re guv
And wish you knew
Where to get love
Why don’t you do
Like hypocrites
Prostitutin’ Spitz

Girls with names
You find out after
Play their games
And soon you hafta
Call it quits
Prostitutin’ Spitz

Hooked up with a thousand-dollar hooker
Now you’re stuck inside the pressure cooker
Lookin’ snookered

Call-girl tricks
Of pure excitement
Pay for kicks
With your indictment
Paging Fitz
Prosecutin’ Spitz



Unrelated One Liners
You know why Chelsea Clinton is so Ugly? Because Janet Reno is her Father!

I want to “Buy American” but the only things for sale made in the USA are politicians


More from Conan:

New York’s Governor Eliot Spitzer resigned today and to make things official, Governor Spitzer had to write a letter of resignation to New York’s Secretary of State. Out of habit, Spitzer addressed the letter, “Dear Penthouse.”

Because Eliot Spitzer is resigning as Governor of New York, that means Hillary Clinton has lost another superdelegate. On the bright side: Bill Clinton has gained a super wing man.



Conan and Snoop – in the Year 2000


More Top Tens from David Letterman:

Top Ten Surprises During Eliot Spitzer’s Resignation

10. Entered to the sounds of Jay-Z’s “Big Pimpin’”

9. Opening line: “Are you a cop?”

8. Spent two minutes seductively stroking the microphone

7. Reaffirmed his policy of “Bro’s before Ho’s”

6. His decision not to wear pants

5. Admitted he also once made out with former Governor Pataki

4. Credited downfall to fast-paced lifestyle of Albany

3. He was kinda pitchy, dawg

2. Said he thought the Emperor’s Club was a Chinese restaurant

1. When reporters asked how much he paid per hour, his wife said, “Believe me, he doesn’t need an hour”

Top Ten Messages Left on Eliot Spitzer’s Answering Machine

10. Hey, what’s new?

9. It’s Barack Obama. Remember our conversation about being my running mate? Nevermind.

8. Ralph Nader here, glad to hear I’m not the only politician who has to pay for it

7. I’m calling from the ‘New York Post.’ Would you rather be known as ‘Disgraced Gov Perv’ or ‘Humiliated Whore Fiend’?

6. This is John McCain, if it makes you feel better, I once got caught having sex with Lincoln’s wife

5. It’s Dr. Phil, call me if you need any horse**** advice

4. This is Senator Larry Craig. Do you ever go through the Minneapolis airport?

3. It’s Wolf Blitzer. Call me if you ever want a hot Spitzer-Blitzer three-way

2. Paris Hilton here. I would have done it for free

1. It’s Arnold Schwarzenegger. Thanks, I’m no longer America’s creepiest governor

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