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* Yo mama’s so ugly they put her face on box of Ex-Lax and sold it empty

* Yo mama’s so fat she was baptized at Marine World.

* Yo mama’s so big, it takes her 2 hours just to haul ass.

* Yo mama’s so fat she’s on both sides of the family

* Yo mama’s so stupid she thought meow mix was a record for cats

* Yo mama’s so ugly I took her to haunted house and she came out with a job application

* Yo mama’s so ugly when she joined an ugly contest, they said “sorry, no professionals.”

* Yo mama’s so dumb, when asked on an application, “Sex?”, she marked, “M, F and sometimes Wednesday too.”

* Yo mama’s so old when she reads the bible she reminisces

* Yo mama’s so fat she influences the tides.

Want to hear more about yo mama? or Chuck Norris?

Popularity: 5% [?]

So I’m browsing The Consumerist looking for rip-off alerts and I come across these two excellent posts that prove that 2008 is going to be a bang up year:

Woman Asked To Leave After Shopping At Walmart For 72 Hours

Police escorted a woman home after she was shopping, eating, and sleeping in a Georgia Walmart for three days straight. She blended in with the general Christmas madness and sustained herself by eating at the on-site Blimpie. When asked by employees at the end why she stayed for so long, she said, “I’m shopping.”

Woman Stays At Gwinnett Wal-Mart For Three Days [WSBTV2 via BoingBoing]

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Chuck Norris: “I Can’t Do All That Stuff”

Chuck Norris is suing publisher Penguin and author Ian Spector over the book “The Truth About Chuck Norris: 400 facts about the World’s Greatest Human”. Among other claims, the suit states that the “book’s title would mislead readers into thinking the facts were true.” This means that apparently Chuck Norris cannot cure your cancer with his tears, he did not create a giraffe by uppercutting a horse, and he cannot speak braille. If only Kevin Trudeau could be so honest.

“Chuck Norris sues, says his tears no cancer cure” [Reuters]

Popularity: 6% [?]