October 6, 2008

Hip Hop Homemaking

Filed under: Music, TV, Celebs, Video — La Bestia @ 6:30 pm
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Yo mama's so fat a picture of her would fall off the wall!

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I managed to record and watch VH1’s Top 100 Hip Hop Songs ever today. It was OK aside from the fact that (except for Run DMC) they only had one song per artist, and in some cases (Ladies First for Queen Latifah instead of U.N.I.T.Y, Colors for Ice T instead of New Jack Hustler, Stan for Eminem instead of anything else) the wrong song IMO. Anyways one gem I found out in the Where Are They Now segment for Coolio is that he has an online cooking show! Really!

Quite Frankly, this is the stupidest (and most unexpected) thing I’ve ever seen. EVER! Which is why it’s so hilarious!!

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August 29, 2008

Jessica Simpson: Pub-Starved Arm Candy

Yo mama's so ugly when she sits in the sand the cat tries to bury her.

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So says Jim Rome. Hilarious. Apparenlty, too, “Tony Romo the New Love of My Life

And best of luck to you, Tony Now that shes confessed in the article to picking out your clothes, youre gonna need it.

She also wrote a song about him and said Tony played it in the locker room for his teammates.

No word on how long it took them to stop laughng.

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August 20, 2008

Cored Apple

Yo mama's so fat a picture of her would fall off the wall!

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Christina Applegate had a double masectomy because of her breast cancer. Apparently it ran in the family - which influenced her decision. I’ve had a crush on her since Kelly Bundy days. The sister of Grandmaster B and simpleton that created The Bundy Bounce. She’s now looking forward to having the perkiest breasts in the nursing home. But will she still be able to do the Bundy Bounce? Probably not without some sort of scooter chair.

Christina Applegate


Tribute

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December 28, 2007

Barton arrested. Which one? BOTH!

Yo mama's so ugly she made an onion cry.

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The question is - which one do you hate more. I hate Joey more. I never really watched the OC, or even knew anything about it other than geographic location. But I suppose Mischa is hate-able too. DUI and drugs ain’t like beating someone up.

Mischa Barton Arrested For DUI, Drug Possession

Mischa BartonMischa Barton was arrested early Thursday morning (December 27) in West Hollywood, California, for DUI and other charges, according to the Los Angeles County Sheriff’s Department. The English-American actress — best known for her portrayal of Marissa Cooper on Fox’s defunct teen drama “The O.C.” — was charged with three criminal counts: driving under the influence, possession of illegal narcotics and driving without a valid license.Police said Barton was being held on $10,000 bail, and TMZ.com later reported that she was released from the West Hollywood sheriff’s station shortly after 10 a.m. on Thursday morning. Reuters reports that she spent about seven hours in jail.

According to an arrest report obtained by MTV News, Barton was stopped just before 3 a.m. after police noticed her car had been weaving back and forth, crossing the traffic line that runs down the middle of North La Cienega Boulevard. Police further noticed the car’s driver failed to signal before making a turn.

Barton was taken into custody and transported to the sheriff’s West Hollywood station, where she was booked and processed. It was at that time that police learned the 21-year-old actress was an unlicensed driver, and that she was intoxicated, the sheriff’s department said. According to Reuters, Barton was also suspected to be in possession of marijuana and an unidentified controlled substance.

No further information on the arrest was available at press time.

Joey Barton arrested in assault probe

Joey BartonPremiership footballer Joey Barton is in police custody in connection with an allegation of assault.

A Merseyside Police spokesman said: “Two males aged 25 and 19 and a women aged 27 were arrested at 5.30am today on Church Street in Liverpool City Centre following an allegation of assault.

“All three remain in custody for interview and processing and I expect a decision on charges or release will be made later.”

Barton missed Newcastle’s game on Boxing Day due to an ankle injury and is believed to have travelled to Liverpool for a night out in the city.

According to reports, a complaint was made by two men who said they had been attacked by Barton and his companions.

Perhaps some other Bartons should also be arrested pre-emptively: Dick Barton. Reid Barton. Clara Barton?

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November 15, 2007

Katherine Heigl is Hawt

Filed under: skimpy, sexy, boobs, babes, Celebs — La Bestia @ 11:49 pm
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Yo mama's so fat she can't wear Dazzey Dukes. She has to wear Boss Hoggs

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I don’t know who she is, but I want her!

Katherine Heigl

More over at Barstool Sports and Perfect Bottom.

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November 3, 2007

They Tried To Make Her Take The Honors And She Said “Ummm Ummm Um”

Filed under: Celebs — La Bestia @ 2:00 am
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Yo mama's so stupid she thought BOYZ2MEN was a daycare center.

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I don’t know what her deal is but apparently she’s a messed up singer with some beautiful pipes. Just like R. Kelly - she makes beautiful music but when it comes to dealing with society she’s just as messed up as the rest of us.

Amy Winehouse was at a loss for words when she won the Artists’ Choice Award at the MTV Europe Music Awards. The 24-year-old British singer-songwriter wearing a short, cleavage-baring denim dress and her signature beehive hairdo was struck speechless while accepting the award before a cheering crowd. All she could muster was “um” and “thanks” before leaving the stage.

“She clammed up, she had a moment there and didn’t say anything (on the microphone), which is a little sad,” R.E.M. singer Michael Stipe, who presented the honor to Winehouse, told AP Television News after Thursday’s event.

Winehouse later performed “Back to Black,” a song from her acclaimed album of the same name.

Maybe she was surprised and didn’t prepare a speech? Or maybe she was drunk.

The retro soul singer ran into trouble last month when she and husband Blake Fielder-Civil were arrested in Bergen, Norway, on charges of marijuana possession. They were released after paying fines of $715 each.

Her lawyer said Thursday that Winehouse is appealing the fine because she didn’t understand that under Norwegian law, accepting a fine is the same as pleading guilty, which could have serious consequences when she seeks to enter the United States.

Winehouse canceled an appearance at the 2007 mtvU Woodie Awards, which will be presented Thursday in New York, because she cannot travel to the U.S. “due to visa issues.”

I suppose she’s got the same travel issues as Slick Rick!

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November 2, 2007

Mini Blog for 2007-11-02

Yo mama's so fat she was baptized at Marine World.

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October 29, 2007

Reggie Bush’s Kim Kardashian In All Her Glory

Filed under: neked, nude, sexy, naked, booty, babes, boobs, Celebs — La Bestia @ 4:20 pm
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Yo mama's so fat she measures 36 24 36, and the other arm is just as big

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