July 8, 2008

This Is What’s Wrong With Apple

Yo mama's so fat when she fell over she rocked herself asleep trying to get up again.

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So let me get this straight. Apple creates a culture of limited options with this iPhone (no A2DP, no bluetooth sync, no SD slot, no cut-and-paste, among other issues) and when people in Canada get upset at Rogers for doing the same with their service plans,
Apple tries to feign disgust? Sounds verrrrry convenient to me.

Apple, disgusted with Rogers Wireless for dumping egregious service plans on would-be iPhone 3G buyers, has decided that its Canadian retail stores will have no part in helping the carrier market the new handset to customers, AppleInsider has learned.

Rogers iPhoneAs a result, Canadian Apple Retail stores won’t be selling the new 3G touchscreen phones come Friday, representatives for the Cupertino-based company said during a private conference call on Monday evening. Instead, it will be up to Rogers and its partner Fido to lock subscribers into steep 3-year contracts that require a minimum monthly payment of $60 for just 150 minutes, 75 text messages, and 400MB of data.

Calls to Canadian Apple retail stores early Tuesday confirmed the move once over. Although the majority of the of stores contacted by AppleInsider said they were still unsure whether they’d be selling the new iPhone, one representative ultimately confirmed that Rogers and its partner stores will be the only place to buy iPhone 3G come Friday. Canadian Apple retail stores will, however, have demo units on hand the same day.

Asked whether the decision not to sell the iPhone was a result of Rogers’ poor service offerings, the representative would only say that: “We have nothing to do with the service plans. Those are Rogers’ plans.”

It’s hard to believe that Apple would sign an exclusive distribution deal with Rogers and not have some inkling about what Rogers would charge for service - a very important factor in people buying Apple’s product. So you’re telling me - they had no idea and are disgusted? Gimme a break. A jailbreak.

Word of Apple’s abandonment of in-store sales comes just days after the company was reported to have sanctioned Rogers by diverting a significant amount of Canada’s iPhone 3G shipments to Europe as initial retribution. As a result, the Canadian carrier will likely receive only about 10 to 20 units per store, and therefore should “exercise caution” not to promise ample stock on launch day, people familiar with the matter have said.

Apple’s knee-jerk reaction is believed to have been further stimulated by public outrage on the part of Canadian consumers following the release of the local pricing plans. Always concerned with its image, the iPhone maker has watched nearly 50,000 of its loyal customers sign an anti-Rogers petition at ruinediphone.com, which has in turn sparked hundreds of potentially damaging reports on the matter by bloggers and members of the mainstream media.

This smacks of the whole Christian Dior/Sharon Stone issue or the Dunkin Donuts Rachel Ray kerfuffle - both of which marinated in the news cycle before the corporate benedicts turned tail and ran.

For its part, Rogers in official statements has attempted to justify the cost of its service and data plans by arguing that the “majority” of international iPhone carriers have capped data. As such, a spokesperson said Rogers believes its plans to be better than those of Orange France, for example, which include a 500MB ‘reasonable use’ limit versus the 2GB maximum on the top-tier Canadian iPhone plan that fetches $115 per month.

“Unlimited plans could end up costing customers more for what they don’t use,” the spokesperson said. “Our iPhone plans more than accommodate the vast majority of customers.”

Rogers is a convenient target because they have a long history of screwing over their customers - and given Canada’s physical and lifestyle closeness with the US - they were bound to catch flack for not being competitive with AT&T, but for Apple to say they had no idea is laughable. Apple didn’t get where it has gotten in the past 10 years by being stupid. If they really cared and knew Rogers was going to do this they would have either pushed harder for an unlimited plan (even if the rate was astronomical) or not done the deal at all and let folks do the same thing they do to get iPhones working on T-Mobile. Apple knew and this supposed rift isn’t fooling me - they’re getting a free pass on this one.

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December 3, 2007

Eastern Europe and Family Guy Funnies

Yo mama's so dumb, she thinks Johnny Cash is a pay toilet!

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A funny post about match fixing taking place in matches in certain Eastern European countries:

The majority of the teams involved come from Bulgaria, Georgia, Serbia, Croatia, Estonia, Lithuania and Latvia.

Hmm, what do these countries have in common? They all end in ‘A’? Undoubtedly. But they’re also all former territories or allies of the Soviet Union. These countries should receive a pass on these investigations. It’s been less than 2 decades since these nations could begin freely practicing capitalism, and even the smartest people have trouble grasping the subtle nuances of Adam Smith’s economics. For example, it took at least 3 visits to the VIP room before I deciphered the the cryptic language exotic dancers use to transact “special services”. Coincidentally, that lass was was from the the former Soviet Union as well.

And in a completely unrelated clip, a scene from Family Guy where Peter begs Death to go back in time to 1984 so he can party some more, and ends up screwing up the past. Totally Back To The Future-ish.

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November 27, 2007

Toronto The New Buffalo?

Yo mama's so old, she knew Burger King while he was still a prince.

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Hmm - forget about internationalizing the NFL to London, the Buffalo Bills might be taking their game to Canada, eh? - at least only one game to start:

The CFL’s new commissioner thinks the NFL wants a team in Toronto, and he wants a piece of the action. Not sure what makes Mark Cohon think the NFL will be eager to align with the CFL.

I think the NFL is interested in expanding into Canada, but it would rather wait a couple of seasons and see what type of support Bills games will draw in Toronto.

The league will only reach out to the CFL if it’s deemed absolutely necessary.

Grey CupWhat I want to know is - if the NFL expands to at least one Canadian town, will we ever see cross-league games - using CFL rules - like we do in basketball? For all the North American glory? Probably not. Probably have to settle for a flag football game between the Bills and the Argonauts. But I would like to see someone challenge the NCAA as the NFL’s official feeder league.

Anyways, congratulations to the Saskatchewan Roughriders for winning the 2007 CFL Grey Cup (the 95th edition) 23-19 over their Labour Day and Banjo Bowl opponents the Winnepeg Blue Bombers. I’m sure the MVP and the MVC (Most Valuable Canadian) will be flush with endorsement offers soon.

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