August 20, 2008

It’s a Man, Man

Filed under: Olympics, Baseball — La Bestia @ 2:28 am
Tags: , , , , , , ,
Yo mama's so ugly Yo dad first met her at the pound

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Just saw an interview with US Softball cleanup hitter Crystl Bustos:

BEIJING – Pitchers who fool Crystal Bustos once should consider themselves lucky.

Trying to do it a second time is just plain stupid.

Bustos is called the Babe Ruth of softball for her home run prowess. She also draws comparisons to the Babe for being a character and for being slightly rotund, to put it mildly.

Sure she’s big and strong and a power hitter. But if you listen to her - she sounds like a he. A deeper voice than Mike Piazza. And her dad! And I’m not the only one to notice.

Sad thing is, at this point she’s probably a better power hitter than Piazza!

Just saying!

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July 15, 2008

Only In Alabama

Filed under: Randomness — La Bestia @ 7:32 pm
Tags: , , ,
Yo mama's so fat she gets clothes in three sizes: extra large, jumbo, and oh-my-god-it's-coming-towards-us!

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Hilarious story - heard on Fox Sports Radio:

Teacher accused of having sex with eight pupils on school baseball team faces 20 years in jail | Mail Online

sex teacher

Julie Pritchett

A teacher has been accused of having sex with eight members of a school baseball team.

Julie Pritchett began a relationship with a 15-year-old boy in February. The 34-year-old married teacher later approached other members of the team for sex.

The incidents allegedly took place both on school premises and at the boys’ homes while their parents were out.

She was discovered when one of the 15-year-old boys at the school, in the town of Trussville, Alabama, told his parents. They alerted the police.

Pritchett, who taught at Clay-Chalkville Middle School, has been charged with two counts of sodomy and one count of sexual abuse.

Some of the boys involved are over the age of consent and are not co-operating with police.

Police spokesman Sgt Christian said: ‘It sounds like she has some serious issues to work through, but that will never excuse what she has done.’

He described her as a ’sexual predator’.

‘When you have eight victims, all young people, all students, that she had great influence on, I don’t think it’s wrong to characterise her that way,’ he said.

Christian said Pritchett, who was a special education teacher and a sponsor of the Fellowship of Christian Athletes club at the middle school, resigned from her tenured teaching position last month after she learned an investigation was under way.

The investigation began May 2 when a parent filed a complaint with the sheriff’s office claiming his son was sexually abused by one of the school’s teachers.

Jefferson County school board lawyer Burgin Kent said Pritchett was placed on leave as soon as school officials heard the allegations. They launched their own investigation and then notified the sheriff’s office and the Department of Human Resources.

Kent said school officials also assured parents of those involved that they were doing everything they could to get to the bottom of the allegations.

sex teacher

Scandal-hit: Clay-Chalkville Middle School in Trussville, Alabama

“It was an unfortunate situation,” Kent said.

Sheriff’s investigators identified eight male students who attend Clay-Chalkville High School with whom Pritchett is alleged to have had sexual relations, Christian said.

Pritchett was the sponsor for the high school’s Diamond Dolls, the hostesses for the baseball team. It was through that position, Christian said, that she came into contact with some of her former students who were involved in the high school sports program.

Christian said Pritchett started a sexual relationship with a 15-year-old former student. That relationship led to sex acts with his friends, Christian said.

The sex acts were initiated by Pritchett, who used several methods of approaching the boys, Christian said. Some of the acts took place on the school’s campus and others at the homes of the victims.

Phone records were subpoenaed and support the statements of the victims and witnesses, authorities said.

She faces 20 years in jail if convicted of the sex abuse offences.

If it were to be made into a porn movie, some posters on Deadspin suggested the following names:

  • The Bad News Bears Go To The Free Clinic
  • Angels In My Backfield
  • The Fatural
  • The Nookie
  • 8 Men In

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May 3, 2008

The Rocket’s Red Glare

Yo mama's so big her belly button's got an echo.

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HAHAHAHA Brutus The Barber Beefcake’s wife? Oh this is hilarious now. Especially after almost every myopian baseball reporter tried to paint Barry Bonds as the next Charles Manson and how his testimony in Congress broke down into partisan bullshit with some Republican congressmen calling him a hero. Put this in your hypocritic family values pipe and smoke it!

Roger Clemens Can’t Keep The Rocket in his Pants

Roger Clemens is going to need to come up with a better defense to accusations that he lied about using steroids than, “I am a consummate family man who doesn’t lie or cheat about anything.” From the way things are shaking out, it’s unclear if Roger has any female friends he didn’t try to fly around the country on his private jet and sleep with at one point. In addition to country singer Mindy McCready, real estate agent Angela Moyers, some yet-unnamed ladies, and the wife of ex-pro wrestler Brutus ‘the Barber’ Beefcake (she actually shot him down), the Daily News is now reporting that Clemens had a relationship with Paulette Dean Daly, the ex-wife of drunk golfer John Daly

Daly didn’t deny the allegations, other than to say, “I’m really uncomfortable talking about this.” Probably because Clemens and her husband, a talented golfer who has long battled an alcohol problem, are good friends. Paulette actually left Daly two weeks after he checked into a rehab program in 1997; her relationship with Clemens supposedly started sometime after that.

It’s pretty clear that at this point, Clemens would be wise to drop the defamation of character suit he filed in January against his former trainer Brian McNamee. There’s really not much character left to, you know, defend, but there’s a whole lot more left to defame. The Daily News‘ legal expert Ernest Nargi offers up this advice to the Rocket’s attorney: “If Roger was my client, I’d say, ‘Look, let’s sit down and find out what’s out there. How many women are there? A girl a day? Every 15 minutes is one going to materialize from a bar or a trailer?’ Hardin needs to find out what’s out there.”

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December 20, 2007

Scattered Thoughts on 2007-12-20

Yo mama's so stupid when she saw "under 17 not admitted" sign, she went home and got 16 friends

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Powered by Twitter Tools.

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December 13, 2007

Put An Asterisk On The Whole Damn Sport

Yo mama's so fat she put on her lipstick with a paint-roller

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I must admit - I was surprised at the long list of names:

Brady Anderson, Manny Alexander, Rick Ankiel, Jeff Bagwell, Barry Bonds, Aaron Boone, Rafael Betancourt, Bret Boone, Milton Bradley, David Bell, Dante Bichette, Albert Belle, Paul Byrd, Wil Cordero, Ken Caminiti, Mike Cameron, Ramon Castro, Jose Canseco, Ozzie Canseco, Roger Clemens, Paxton Crawford, Wilson Delgado, Lenny Dykstra, Johnny Damon…

…Carl Everett, Kyle Farnsworth, Ryan Franklin, Troy Glaus, Rich Garces, Jason Grimsley, Juan Gonzalez, Eric Gagne, Nomar Garciaparra, Jason Giambi, Jeremy Giambi, Jose Guillen, Jay Gibbons, Juan Gonzalez, Clay Hensley, Jerry Hairston, Felix Heredia, Jr., Darren Holmes, Wally Joyner, Darryl Kile, Matt Lawton, Raul Mondesi, Mark McGwire, Guillermo Mota, Robert Machado, Damian Moss, Abraham Nunez…

…Trot Nixon, Jose Offerman, Andy Pettitte, Mark Prior, Neifi Perez, Rafael Palmiero, Albert Pujols, Brian Roberts, Juan Rincon, John Rocker, Pudge Rodriguez, Sammy Sosa, Scott Schoenweiss, David Segui, Alex Sanchez, Gary Sheffield, Miguel Tejada, Julian Tavarez, Fernando Tatis, Maurice Vaughn, Jason Varitek, Ismael Valdez, Matt Williams, Kerry Wood.

But I’m glad someone finally exposed Roger Clemens for the testosterone-shooting roider that he is.
Roger Clemens Steroids Use In The Mitchell Report Roger Clemens Steroids Use In The Mitchell Report Roger Clemens Steroids Use In The Mitchell Report Roger Clemens Steroids Use In The Mitchell Report Roger Clemens Steroids Use In The Mitchell Report Roger Clemens Steroids Use In The Mitchell Report Roger Clemens Steroids Use In The Mitchell Report Roger Clemens Steroids Use In The Mitchell Report
Maybe now these myopic baseball fans who want to string up and asterisk Barry Bonds as the lone gunman will now see that the entire sport is on roids and that it’s the era that needs exposing, not just one guy. I’ve already heard people criticizing the report for being too light on specific situations or not taking into account the people who slipped through the cracks. Hello?? The union prevented the players from talking! Way to go guys - continue to circle the wagons and drive the sport into the ground. Real baseball fans should see this as a positive and should thank Jose Canseco (a Hall of Famer in my eyes) for exposing the truth because if it weren’t for his book, nothing would have been done.

BTW - I heard that Canseco tried to get into the press conference where they revealed the report, but was turned away. C’mon - let the father see his baby! Now - I’m going to read the only Mitchell Report I care about.

Good Reading over at SVP Style on what should happen, why nothing will happen, and other random thoughts.

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YES!! YES!! WE GOT FUKUDOME!!

Filed under: Kosuke Fukudome, Alex Rodriguez, Baseball — La Bestia @ 12:46 am
Tags: , ,
Yo mama's so fat she fell in love and broke it.

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Kosuke FukudomeEver since I saw this guy at that contrived World Cup of Baseball offseason tournament that MLB tried I knew we had to have him. Not for his talent per say (because I never actually saw him play) - but for his name. Fukudome. Has there ever been a more aesthetically pleasing name to the immature wise cracker? Not in this country. We’ve had to get by on the weird-but-strange names like God Shamgod and Craphonso Thorpe while all the other countries got all the awesome names like Kaka, Dean Windass, Dick Trickle, and Danny Shittu. Well no more!

NAGOYA, Japan — Japanese outfielder Kosuke Fukudome told the Chunichi Dragons he will not return next season, saying he wants to make a move to the major leagues.



Kosuke Fukudome

Fukudome, who became a free agent last month, informed the Central League club of his decision Tuesday.

“I won’t be playing for a Japanese club next season, I’ll play in the majors,” Fukudome said. “I appreciate the fans who supported me for nine years. I hope that the fans continue to root for me when they see me playing in the United States.”

Fukudome is regarded as one of the best outfielders in Japanese professional baseball. The 30-year-old was a key member of the Japan team that won the inaugural World Baseball Classic in March 2006.

He had surgery on his right elbow in August and sat out the Japan Series, but has 192 homers and a .305 batting average over nine seasons with the Dragons, who won their first championship in 53 years on Nov. 2.

Fukudome has drawn interest from the Chicago Cubs, the San Diego Padres and the Chicago White Sox.

The Padres have made an offer to Fukudome, calling it “one of the two or three biggest offers” in team history.

It seems he’ll be playing for the Cubs which should prove awesome when the South Siders get a crack at them in interleague play. We know what they’re capable of when they get all liquored up.

BEST. NAME. EVER!!!!

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November 18, 2007

Let’s Arrest Ty Cobb Too

Filed under: Media, <