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Yo mama's so fat she eats wheat thicks.

also applies to Mirko Slomka. Warm up the bus.

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Yo mama's so fat she can't reach her back pocket.

He can win all the Scudettos he wants, but the club expects more. That’s why Mancini resigned:

Roberto Mancini has revealed he intends to quit Internazionale at the end of the season.

Speaking after Inter were knocked out of the UEFA Champions League by Liverpool, Mancini told reporters of his desire to move on in the summer.

The former Italy international has been in charge at Giuseppe Meazza since 2004 and has enjoyed success at the helm.

Inter are on course for a third consecutive Serie A title this season, but it will not be enough to tempt Mancini into staying.

Insisting his decision was not a knee-jerk reaction to losing to Liverpool, Mancini confirmed he does not intend to fulfil his contract.

Aside from Zanetti, that team looked like they were in a crisis. Rumors of infighting showed on 2 chances in front of goal where Julio Cruz and Zlatan Ibrahimovi? attempted difficult shots instead of squaring to an unmarked man. Zlatan, again, not showing up in the big games and Mancini took forever to bring on his subs. You can see why Roma feel they can catch Inter in the league tables, only 8 points behind now.

You won’t stay at a glamour club for long without winning in Europe. It’s what Madridistas are used to and what has saved Rafa Benitez at Liverpool and Carlo Ancelotti at AC Milan. But now with Inter, Real Madrid, and AC Milan out of the last 8, and with Rikjaard’s time looking short, it appears there will be a bidding war for Jose Mourinho’s services. And if Avram Grant doesn’t win something this year, Mourinho’s old job could be vacant as well.

England’s Big 4 are in Europe’s Elite 8 but out of the FA Cup’s Final 4. With the foreigners outnumbering the Englishmen, that sounds about right, don’t you think?

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Yo mama was so fat that when she was born, she gave the hospital stretch marks.

Fresh off having seemingly every member of the starting 11 plus substitute Joe Cole booked against Barcelona in midweek, it seems the Blues were at it again on Sunday against crosstown rivals Tottenham at White Hart Lane. John Terry was sent off late in the match after Tottenham took the lead for good on Aaron Lennon’s winner.

Hey Mourinho - you may want to coach your guys to play without shin-kicking, rib-elbowing and shirt yanking. Just a thought.

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Yo mama's so ugly the psychiatrist makes her lie facedown.

Due to some unfortunate blunders with my cable provider I ended up having to “watch” yesterday’s Barca-Bremen game online (thanks, UEFA). Needless to say it was looking bleak down 1-0 and Eto’o carted off (he’s out 5 months!!) but my namesake and future mancrush Lionel Messi came on, mixed it up, attacked the back line and levelled in the 89th minute! YES!!!

Arsenal are back, baby!! Henry 2 headers in 4 days. He hasn’t headed a goal since 2004.

Again, I say Sheva who? Didier Drogba is continuing his assault - with 3 against Levki Sofia. Hats, please.

Wayne Rooney in the midfield? That’s what Louis Saha’s great start to this season has meant to England’s next big thing. Both Saha and Drogba are looking every bit as dangerous now as before they made the move to their respective high profile clubs.

Paul Scholes? Homophobic remarks? Ohh, Paulie …

Crouchaldinho aka The Pipe Cleaner probably scored the goal of the week with his inverted, half-pipe, 135 degree bicycle kick. I swear, his playing footy defies physics.

Valencia did a number on poor Roma who could only manage a penalty kick from the birthday boy Francesco Totti.

Inter is bottom of it’s group after 2 games. and worse - they ammassed 2 red cards yesterday, one to Zlatan Ibrahimovic. Italy’s not doing that well in this tournament.

In 3 weeks, the world will grind to a halt as Chelsea and Barcelona renew their rivalry on Halloween (right?) and Estrella Bucharest try to hold off a hungry Real Madrid. Celtic and Benfica have a pivotal game at Parkhead.

As an American and a student of Beavis and Butthead, the word BUNG is just hilarious to me.

and OH YEAH…

READING ARE INTERESTED IN FREDDIE ADU!!!

Major League Soccer team DC United have cooled speculation linking teenage midfielder Freddy Adu with a move to Reading, insisting he is going nowhere. The regular MLS season ends in the United States in October and Reading were reportedly set to sign the 17-year-old on loan in January. However, a DC United spokesman told BBC Sport: “We expect Freddy to be in our uniform for the foreseeable future. “He is the focal point of the team and a very popular figure at the club.” Adu’s agent Richard Motzkin revealed in February that Manchester United and Chelsea had both mooted their interest in the teenager. In 2004, Adu became the youngest professional MLS player when he signed a deal with DC United - at the age of 14.The Ghana-born midfielder also became the youngest player to compete for the USA when he was handed his senior debut against Canada in March. However, he was left out of their World Cup squad this summer. Reading are thought to be keen for Adu to line up with fellow Americans Bobby Convey, a winger who also played for DC, and goalkeeper Marcus Hahnemann. Adu’s registration with DC United, who have won the championship four times, means he is playing for the most successful club in the 10-year history of the MLS. “DC United have always been a big draw and Adu is also a big draw,” said the spokesman. “We are pleased with the way he has developed.”

Freddy - GO NOW! MLS - Send Him!! He is our future! He needs proper training! Send Him! Look what the EPL did for McBride, Reyna, and Friedel!! Look what staying in MLS did for Donovan.

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Yo mama's so stupid she asked me what kinda jeans I wore, I said Guess and she said "Ah Levis?"

There’s footy on TV tonight
Man U play with all of their might
David Beckham’s side,
Real Madrid, try
To look like they’ll put up a fight

Tomorrow it’s Barca and Chelsea
Ronaldinho will give ‘em hell, see
And my new cable package
Let’s me watch all the matches
Just need that large TV from LG

I’m impressed by Olympic Lyon
Juninho and Fred are da bomb
Can they climb the tower
That is Steaua
Or will the Romanians be too strong?

Liverpool sure needs a reuslt
Or Anfield will erupt in tumult
Rafa’s chameleon
Lineups are dealing un-
Rest that is all his fault

CSKA Moscow was tipped
To be the surprise side, but if
They don’t get on
The experts prove wrong
And they won’t sell very many kits

Louis Saha is a star
Rosicky can score from far
But Becks’ touch ain’t Midas
He has tonsillitus
His coach thinks his game is sub-par

Thierry Henry is back
But some fans taunt him cuz he’s black
FIFA is trying
To stop fans relying
On silly, divisive race cracks

Apparently, Frank Lampard has been found
He bulged the net twice on the ground
But John Terry’s in pain
His back spasms won’t wane
And Gallas? On the other side of town

That’s all for now. Enjoy the games

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Yo mama's so ugly that Yo father takes her to work just so he doesn't have to kiss her goodbye.

Yes it’s true. Manchester United has been bounced out of the Champions League BEFORE the knockout stages! To put this in proper perspective, imagine Tiger Woods fnishing 20th in a round of golf against a group of 6 year olds. I suppose this is the beginning of what was feared by ManU supporters when Glazer stepped up to buy out outstanding shares of the club. There were actually chants for his death ! Don’t mess with England’s sport! Plus this loss of European revenue puts the team in an even more precarious finacial situation since Glazer bought the team mostly on credit secured with the team and Old Trafford stadium as collateral. Plus he was recently shot down in an attempt to de-socialize the EPL TV contract. Oooooops!

ManU finished 4th in their group. Behind Benfica and Lille. Lille! and now are out of both Champions League AND UEFA Cup - the red headed stepchild. But I guess this means one thing for sure. ESPN programming chiefs can now get back to the business of putting FC Barcelona and world footballer of the year and soccer badass Ronaldinho on TV over here. I’m sick of the 0-0 matches between defensive minded EPL teams. How many times must I be subjected to Frank Lampard’s hurricane hair and Petr Cech saving every shot. I need some offense. Chicks dig the free kick!

Note: Lampard might be in Barca next year!

In other news, Freddy Adu has ended his feud and allegedly will return to D.C. United next year. I’ll believe it when I see it. This guy is the future face of American soccer and actually puts together more coherent thoughts than Landon Donovan (not that that’s hard to do) and he’s being buried on the bench of an MLS team? WTF? I’m sure he’s thinking “I could be in South London right now buried behind guys like Joe Cole and Lampard and the Iceman (Eidur Gudjohnson) and getting better challenges in practice.” He’s one of the richest American stars and he’s coming off the bench like he’s Kevin McHale or Antoine Walker. Freddy is ready for England!

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