WARNING: Rated R
There was a senator from Mass.
who wanted a nice piece of ass
he lucked up and found her
then fucked up and drowned her
now she’s just food for the bass
There was a young girl from Cape Cod,
Who thought babies came only from God.
T’wasn’t the Almighty
Who lifted her nightie.
T’was Roger the Lodger by god!
There once was a girl named Alice
who used a dynamite stick as a phallus
they found her vagina
in North Carolina
and bits of her tits in Dallas
There once was a man from Cape Horn
who wished that he’d never been born.
He wouldn’t have been
if his father had seen
that the end of his condom was torn.
A sailor named Mitch E. O’ Doul
Found little red spots on his tool,
His doctor a cynic,
Says, “Get out of me clinic,
And wipe off the lipstick you fool.”
There once was a fellow named Derkin
who was always jerkin his gherkin
hin mom said “Derkin
quit jerkin that gherkin
that gherkin’s for ferkin not jerkin!”
There once was a man from Belaire,
Was doing his girl on the stair,
When the banister broke,
He doubled his stroke,
And finished her off in mid-air.
There was a man from Ghent
Who had a penis so long it bent
It was so much trouble
That he kept it double
And instead of coming he went.
There was a man called Dave
Who kept a dead whore in a cave
He said “I admit
I am a bit of a shit
But think of the money I save”.
There once was a barmaid named Gail
on whose chest were the prices of ale.
And on her behind,
for the sake of the blind,
was precisely the same, but in Braille.
In anything written by Dickens,
It’s certain the plot always thickens;
With characters, themes
And digressions it teems;
As for sex, though, it’s mighty slim pickin’s.
There once was a husband from Brewster,
Who said to his wife as he goosed her,
“This used to be grand,
But just look at me gland,
You ain’t wiping as clean as you used’ta”.
The limerick is furtive and mean
You must keep her in close quarantine
Or she sneaks to the slums
And promptly becomes
Disorderly, drunk and obscene.
Popularity: unranked [?]
