March 17, 2008

$2 A Share?!?!?

Yo mama's so fat the highway patrol made her wear "Caution! Wide Turn"

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Boy, I can’t wait for my $300 stimulus payment so I can stimulate the economy. I figure if Bear Stearns, trading at $150 a year ago, was bailed out by JP Morgan at $2 a share with help from the fed, I might be able to get Citigroup next month when Dubai gives up on it:

WASHINGTON (MarketWatch) — Acting quickly to prevent a run on major global financial firms, the Federal Reserve cut its discount rate by a quarter percentage point to 3.25% and offered to lend money to a longer list of firms than ever before.

The extraordinary weekend moves came as J.P. Morgan Chase sealed a deal to buy Bear Stearns Cos. for just $2 a share backed by up to $30 billion borrowed from the Fed. The Fed board gave its approval to that unique funding arrangement, which guarantees JP Morgan against losses from buying Bear.

The Fed board also approved the creation of a special lending facility through the New York Fed that would be available to members of its primary dealers list, which includes both commercial banks and investment banks. Investment banks, such as Bear Stearns, have not been allowed to borrow directly from the Fed.

JP Morgan has access to the discount window through its Chase Bank subsidiary, but Bear Stearns does not have direct access.

Events have unfolded at warp speed over the past week. On Tuesday, the Fed announced a new lending program for primary dealers in the bond markets, but that program won’t go into effect for two more weeks. On Friday, the Fed allowed Bear Stearns to borrow money via JP Morgan in a desperate bid to save the firm, which has been pummeled by losses on exotic securities backed by subprime mortgages.

The Federal Open Market Committee meets on Tuesday. Analysts expect the FOMC to cut the target for the federal funds rate by as much as a full percentage point to 2%. Another cut in the discount rate is also likely.

Our banking system has been sitting on quicksand, regulators have been twiddling their fingers during this administration, our debt-ridden dollar has been falling for a while, and the Fed is enacting Depression-era rules.

But my $300 is going to stimulate the economy. In May.

Right.

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