myopiclunacy.com

• Windows 7 to get integrated touch features? - Engadget http://tinyurl.com/2uumur I’m more surprised that there’ll BE a Windows 7! #
• Windows 7 feature request list leaks out - Engadget http://tinyurl.com/2uf2cs Hah - Windows 7 on a big ass table: http://tinyurl.com/3a8eng #
• OHIO LIBRARIES: NOT JUST FOR MASTURBATING-With Leather http://tinyurl.com/254oes Madden Tourney at the Library? Where was this 20 years ago? #
• I guess in the 21st century - Libraries have to compete for "consumers" just like any other business. Ashamed people only read online now #
• Slew of retailers to carry TV converter boxes; coupon requests open in 2008 - Engadget http://tinyurl.com/24bl43 What a ripoff #
• It should not costmore than $20 for a box to convert digital to analog. Additionally - they should make CRT TVs that can display ATSC. #
• Jessica Alba Is Pregnant - Pregnancy, Jessica Alba : People.com http://tinyurl.com/26ca78 #
• NPR Music: Rock Pioneer Ike Turner Dies at Age 76 http://tinyurl.com/29wdvm Tina Turner apparently declined comment. I wonder why. #
• SPORTSbyBROOKS - Direct TV To Show NFL Network On Blimp Over Blacked Out Cities http://tinyurl.com/yvlj23 I love NFL Network #
• NFL Total Access is awesome, Jamie Dukes has a real interesting format, and I think College Football Now is light years ahead of ESPN’s show #
• I wonder why the adoption rates for NFL Network are this low. They should do like Wal-Mart: underprice up front then slowly jack it up. #
• The Big Lead - Someone on the Chicago Bears Nailed Lisa Lampanelli http://tinyurl.com/3599or "her ***’s seen more black lips than kool aid" #
• "she’s fucked more black men than FEMA!" I love the first comment: "I’ll be back to leave a comment after I wash the vomit off my keyboard" #
• Awful Announcing: Loud Mouth vs. Loud Mouth - Round One, T.O. Calls Out Keyshawn http://tinyurl.com/3xpm2p You knew TO wouldn’t stay down! #
• ESPN - T.O. irritated by Keyshawn’s assertions about current team - NFL http://tinyurl.com/2tbpmk Best part is when he slammed Key’s 1 TD! #
• "Here’s a guy, writes the book, ‘Give Me the Damn Ball,’ and he has 106 catches and one touchdown, and that was off a tipped pass." - hahaha #
• "I’d challenge him to come out and try to make this team. He’d be a third or fourth receiver at this point. Compare the stats…" - classic! #
• Hottest Girls of Myspace: Felicia is the Alpha Dog of the Group http://tinyurl.com/2s2cgh I personally believe … that these girls are dumb #
• Knight Rider storms back, new K.I.T.T. showcased - Engadget http://tinyurl.com/2rr8wd Dear Hollywood: Stop ruining my childhood institutions #
• eeeXubuntu: Ubuntu distilled for your Eee - Engadget http://tinyurl.com/yue4l7 #
• Did Bush Administration Censor Science? http://tinyurl.com/2k7sso Why not - they Censor everything else - including the Bill of Rights #
• EDSBS - DIE BASEBALL, DIE. http://tinyurl.com/2ofgd7 #
• ‘Penthouse’ Makes XXX-Rated Play http://tinyurl.com/2u4dsx - X-Rated social networking. You gotta love it! #

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Popularity: 2% [?]

I must admit - I was surprised at the long list of names:

Brady Anderson, Manny Alexander, Rick Ankiel, Jeff Bagwell, Barry Bonds, Aaron Boone, Rafael Betancourt, Bret Boone, Milton Bradley, David Bell, Dante Bichette, Albert Belle, Paul Byrd, Wil Cordero, Ken Caminiti, Mike Cameron, Ramon Castro, Jose Canseco, Ozzie Canseco, Roger Clemens, Paxton Crawford, Wilson Delgado, Lenny Dykstra, Johnny Damon…

…Carl Everett, Kyle Farnsworth, Ryan Franklin, Troy Glaus, Rich Garces, Jason Grimsley, Juan Gonzalez, Eric Gagne, Nomar Garciaparra, Jason Giambi, Jeremy Giambi, Jose Guillen, Jay Gibbons, Juan Gonzalez, Clay Hensley, Jerry Hairston, Felix Heredia, Jr., Darren Holmes, Wally Joyner, Darryl Kile, Matt Lawton, Raul Mondesi, Mark McGwire, Guillermo Mota, Robert Machado, Damian Moss, Abraham Nunez…

…Trot Nixon, Jose Offerman, Andy Pettitte, Mark Prior, Neifi Perez, Rafael Palmiero, Albert Pujols, Brian Roberts, Juan Rincon, John Rocker, Pudge Rodriguez, Sammy Sosa, Scott Schoenweiss, David Segui, Alex Sanchez, Gary Sheffield, Miguel Tejada, Julian Tavarez, Fernando Tatis, Maurice Vaughn, Jason Varitek, Ismael Valdez, Matt Williams, Kerry Wood.

But I’m glad someone finally exposed Roger Clemens for the testosterone-shooting roider that he is.

Maybe now these myopic baseball fans who want to string up and asterisk Barry Bonds as the lone gunman will now see that the entire sport is on roids and that it’s the era that needs exposing, not just one guy. I’ve already heard people criticizing the report for being too light on specific situations or not taking into account the people who slipped through the cracks. Hello?? The union prevented the players from talking! Way to go guys - continue to circle the wagons and drive the sport into the ground. Real baseball fans should see this as a positive and should thank Jose Canseco (a Hall of Famer in my eyes) for exposing the truth because if it weren’t for his book, nothing would have been done.

BTW - I heard that Canseco tried to get into the press conference where they revealed the report, but was turned away. C’mon - let the father see his baby! Now - I’m going to read the only Mitchell Report I care about.

Good Reading over at SVP Style on what should happen, why nothing will happen, and other random thoughts.

Popularity: 10% [?]

So Bobby Petrino finally figures out he’s in way over his head and decides (3 games before the end of the NFL season) to bolt for the comforts of Fayetteville. Here’s the form letter he left for his players upon leaving along with some KSK-inspred banter with his wife:

Becky: You realize you’re a 46-year-old man who goes by “Bobby,” right?

Petrino: (sighs) Yeah. Guess I’ll need to add my middle name if I wanna make it in Arkansas, huh?

Horrible. Terrible. Such an utter lack of class. What would the Hog Hotties like Jessica (Miss May) think about that poor example you’re setting for Arkansas, the school where the former coach was allegedly having an affair with a TV reporter. Um … Nevermind.

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Given that University of Florida’s Tim Tebow won the Heisman Trophy award, this new version (from Epic Carnaval via The Big Lead) seemed appropriate:

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Ever since I saw this guy at that contrived World Cup of Baseball offseason tournament that MLB tried I knew we had to have him. Not for his talent per say (because I never actually saw him play) - but for his name. Fukudome. Has there ever been a more aesthetically pleasing name to the immature wise cracker? Not in this country. We’ve had to get by on the weird-but-strange names like God Shamgod and Craphonso Thorpe while all the other countries got all the awesome names like Kaka, Dean Windass, Dick Trickle, and Danny Shittu. Well no more!

NAGOYA, Japan — Japanese outfielder Kosuke Fukudome told the Chunichi Dragons he will not return next season, saying he wants to make a move to the major leagues.

Fukudome, who became a free agent last month, informed the Central League club of his decision Tuesday.

“I won’t be playing for a Japanese club next season, I’ll play in the majors,” Fukudome said. “I appreciate the fans who supported me for nine years. I hope that the fans continue to root for me when they see me playing in the United States.”

Fukudome is regarded as one of the best outfielders in Japanese professional baseball. The 30-year-old was a key member of the Japan team that won the inaugural World Baseball Classic in March 2006.

He had surgery on his right elbow in August and sat out the Japan Series, but has 192 homers and a .305 batting average over nine seasons with the Dragons, who won their first championship in 53 years on Nov. 2.

Fukudome has drawn interest from the Chicago Cubs, the San Diego Padres and the Chicago White Sox.

The Padres have made an offer to Fukudome, calling it “one of the two or three biggest offers” in team history.

It seems he’ll be playing for the Cubs which should prove awesome when the South Siders get a crack at them in interleague play. We know what they’re capable of when they get all liquored up.

BEST. NAME. EVER!!!!

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