November 7, 2006

Hardly the News - 11/7

Filed under: Hardly Newsworthy — La Bestia @ 5:17 pm
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Yo mama's so fat, when she travels, she's gotta make two trips.

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Wrecked ‘Em Tool

Naked man arrested for concealed weapon: EL CERRITO, Calif. (AP) — A man was arrested on suspicion of carrying a concealed weapon after police found him outdoors — naked — and he told them he had a tool in his rectum, authorities said. The man was lying on a tree stump, masturbating beside a nature path, near a Bay Area Rapid Transit station Thursday, police said. John Sheehan, 33, of Pittsburg, was initially arrested on suspicion of indecent exposure. But when asked whether he was carrying anything police should know about, Sheehan mentioned the tool, said El Cerrito Detective Cpl. Don Horgan. “You can’t get much more concealed than that,” Horgan said. Officers drew their weapons and firefighters were called to the scene. Sheehan removed a 6-inch metal awl wrapped in black electrical tape without incident. Sheehan, who was paroled from state prison last week, was then booked into jail on suspicion of parole violations, indecent exposure and one felony count of possessing a concealed weapon. “When you’re talking about an awl or an ice pick and you’re dealing with somebody who’s fresh out of prison, it’s a weapon. That’s a stabbing instrument,” Horgan said. It was not immediately clear what Sheehan was on parole for. A person answering the phone at the jail Friday night did not know whether Sheehan had a lawyer.


Bad Halloween Costume Choices

Trick’s on N.Y. jail officials as ex-inmate trick-or-treating in jumpsuit prompts lockdown: WHITE PLAINS, N.Y. — A jail went into lockdown and recounted its prisoners on Halloween night after a former inmate was spotted trick-or-treating in his old orange prisoner’s jumpsuit. “Bad choice of costume,” said Susan Tolchin, chief adviser to Westchester County Executive Andrew Spano. The former inmate, Oscar Aponte, was taking his daughter trick-or-treating in Peekskill on Tuesday night when a county correction officer — also out trick-or-treating with her child — spotted the familiar jumpsuit, Tolchin said. “She confronted him, and he ran and drove off,” Tolchin said. The officer took down the man’s license plate and called authorities. The jail went into lockdown until a prisoner count established that no one was missing. Meanwhile, police found Aponte, confiscated the genuine jumpsuit and let him go. Aponte was arrested and charged Wednesday with petty larceny and possession of stolen property, both misdemeanors, Tolchin said. She said prisoners are not permitted to take their jumpsuits home when they are released. There was no telephone listing for Aponte’s address. Aponte was in the jail from May to September for violating probation on a drunken driving charge.

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