February 19, 2006

Say It Loud - I’m Blaggy And I’m Proud

Yo mama's so big her belly button's got an echo.

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A Black History Parody Moment

blaggy I went deep into Hanna Barbera’s archives to find the appropriate character. I’m pleased to introduce you to Blaggy.

Blaggy is an oft-forgotten piece in the long and storied tradition of the Mystery Machine Gang. Due to the fact that the gang’s adventures would routinely take them below the Mason Dixon line, and that Blaggy don’t take no guff from no cracka, he was often left out of the action. So when he wasn’t chasing white women, or trying to out cross-burning cracka-ass cracka klan members, Blaggy would usually be chillin’ in the van listening to Motown 8-tracks and working on a song writing career. He hoped one day to make it on the Gong show to sing that catchy tune “Bubbling Brown Sugar.”

Hell, one might argue that between Daphne trying to straight-en Fred out, Shaggy and Scooby tuning out and scarfing scooby brownies, and Velma doing all the damn work, you could say that Blaggy was the only one of the group that HAD a clue.

Remember the episodes where the gang would come to a town to chill out or meet up with someone, then something would go awry and Fred just couldn’t let it go despite the pleadings of Shaggy and Scooby, and they would spend the next 30 minutes investigating aparitions only to find out that at the end that the culprit was the kindly old caretaker in some elaborate costume or audio/visual hoax, and they’d say “… and I would have gotten away with it too if it weren’t for you meddling kids,” and they all had a laugh at the end? Well, Blaggy’s contract wouldn’t allow him to participate in those episodes. He was prominently featured in a series of episodes set in New York but, sadly, they didn’t test well and were shelved. They tried the New York shows again the next year, but Fred kept getting asswhuppings by the Baseball Furies.

Blaggy was pushed aside when producers tried to target the kid demographic harder with the cute Scrappy Doo, Scooby Dee and Scooby Dum characters - an insult to kids intelligence everywhere - and the series of guest appearances from the likes of Sandy “One Eyed Jack” Duncan, the Harlem Globetrotters, and Mama Cass (pre-ham sandwich). After a failed attempt to get on Solid Gold and Dance Fever, Blaggy fell on hard times, relying on the three-card monty industry before a blaxploitation resurgance in the mid-90s. He is currently touring with Dee from What’s Happening, Dolemite, and Isaac from the Love Boat and gives motivational speeches to FEMA.

Blaggy - the forgotten black sleuth.


BREAKING NEWS: Blaggy was spotted recently at Uluru a.k.a. Ayers Rock - trying to sell Scooby Doo-shaped pavlovas and jars of something called Velma’s Vegamite.
uluru

Where Are They Now?

Well, Fred’s been exploring himself:

Fred and Velma Fredani

The Blagg & Dogger concert tour starts June 15th in Andover, MD

blaggyrowlf

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