good news: devean’s iq up to room temperature. bad news: in finland.iraq polls close, gore blames diebold, foil hat shortage, asks: if i rape a nine year-old and then marry her, will you make me your prophet, too?
kobe hasn’t raped anyone in over a year. gotta be getting tired of that wife, though. ugh. kobe’s half-christie chick-wise, and that’s never a good thing. he seems to be handling it better than doug, which is a tribute to kobe’s personal character and selecting a less idiotic dominatrix. you know that jackie straps it on and ride’s doug’s pooper raw, but i’m not sure vanessa bryant has the balls, not without a performance clause in the prenup.
tayshaun prince is about to make 50mil. that’s about 1.4mil per pound.
“may the circle be unbroken.” circle in a triangle. yup. fortunately, you can’t judge the team but the droll symbolism and trite blatherings on the cover of the laker playbook. there never was a circle, coach, so you really can’t break it. yo coach, my first chakra itches..
chinese astronauts wave to cameras, remove make-up, drive home. i never thought we’d see chinese in space. then again there was the kung pao incident… so i’d never been with a chinese waitress before, but she was highly aggressive in the sack and eagerly wanting to please, so when i asked for 69, she said. “you want broccoli beef?” i was as stunned as the first time i saw yao ming wearing a twelve-pound gaudy-bling medallion on an anchor-strength ghetto chain.
diop lost 40 pounds. we’ll see if he replaced them with game.
jordan melo 5.5, the shoe that can’t defend.
hoiberg wants to be the first in the nba to play with a pacemaker. wow. impressive goal. i wonder if this is what he dreamed about as a kid…
scary movie 4: shaq and dr phil. no lie. chained together. in a bathroom.
shane battier won’t be pushing oakley sunglasses anymore. something about a shar pei.
the heat are throwing the ball all over the gym. that’s gotta change.
the charlotte bobcat arena sold out. for the rolling stones. we’ll see how the hoop team fares.
artest wants to box ben wallace on pay per view for 10mil. fine by me, as long as shaq gets the winner. the new york times is reporting that coach brown’s technical against the mavs in the second exhibition game was a big thing, “the last knicks coach to earn a technical foul was don chaney, on jan. 26, 2003 – two years, nine months and three coaches ago.” who knew?
the tailor’s lament: you can’t clothe oliver miller. you can only hope to contain him.
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I hate the Yankees, not so much because of the neverending coverage on what are supposed to be national sports shows, but mainly because Steinbrenner thinks he owns baseball and that spending $200M on a team when others don’t even spend $100M – or in some cases $50M is good for the product of baseball.
