myopiclunacy.com

Oh wait… Les Moonves needs to go round up his posse, then take Dan Rather and his staff as well as Dick Enberg (I never liked him) and Dan Dierdorf on a boat trip to Berkeley, Scott Peterson style. Then maybe he can pick up a newly legalized hooker on the way back.

“It was unfortunate that his teeth hit my carotid artery.”

Roy Horn describes tiger mauling

Illusionist Roy Horn has described his mauling by a tiger, maintaining that the animal intended to protect rather than attack him. The tiger bit Horn’s neck and dragged him offstage during a live performance in Las Vegas last October. Afterwards Horn, 59, suffered a stroke which left him partially paralysed. He told German broadcaster RTL that the tiger had been trying to save him after he collapsed. “It was unfortunate that his teeth hit m carotid artery.” ‘Understood signals’ Horn said the 380lb (171kg) white tiger, named Montecore, tried to move him out of danger after he fainted onstage. “It was an accident,” Horn said. “Montecore understood the signals and wanted to save me.” A show employee used a fire extinguisher to break the animal’s grip. Horn, who performed glitzy tiger shows in Las Vegas with his partner Siegfried Fischbacher for 13 years, insisted that the tiger was not destroyed after the incident. The illusionist was clinically dead for a minute after the attack. “I saw flashing bright lights and my mother. My beloved animals were lying at her feet,” he said. Asked to account for his brush with death, he said: “I was not allowed to die just yet, because my wings for being an angel were not quite ready.”

Rick James’ body sets autopsy record!

Rick James’ Body Had Nine Drugs in It
UPI- Funk legend Rick James had as many as nine drugs in his body when he died in California, E! Online reported Friday. A Los Angeles county coroner’s report released Thursday found in his system cocaine, Xanax, Valium, Wellbutrin, Celexa, Digoxin, Chlorpheniramine and Vicodin and crystal methamphetamine. Because none of the drugs were found in lethal quantities, James’ death has been ruled accidental. E! Online has reported a few days before his death James, 56, was seen at a Hollywood party using cocaine, and many of his friends privately were concerned that the former Superfreak was back to his partying ways. The Give It to Me Baby singer and Grammy winner sold millions of records in the 1980s and is widely credited with saving Motown Records from bankruptcy with hit albums like 1981’s Street Songs.

T2 Kid tries to “Liberate” some Lobsters. In Kentucky?

‘Terminator 2′ actor arrested on public drunkenness charge
FLORENCE, Ky. — Edward Furlong’s ploy to free some lobsters from their tank landed the actor in jail. He was arrested Wednesday night on a misdemeanor charge of alcohol intoxication in a public place in this northern Kentucky city. Furlong, who appeared in “Terminator 2″ and “American History X,” spent about 1 1/2 hours in the Boone County jail before his release. The animal-rights supporter and vegetarian was arrested after he and some friends removed lobsters from a tank at a Meijer grocery store. Furlong argued with store managers, who then called police, according to his arrest citation. Furlong was unsteady on his feet, his speech was slurred and his breath smelled of alcohol, the citation said. His arraignment is set for Oct. 1 in Boone County District Court. Furlong is in the area to shoot his latest film, “Jimmy and Judy.” Copyright 2004 Associated Press. All rights reserved. This material may not be published, broadcast, rewritten, or redistributed.

Sadly, No More Mullet Tosses at Florabama

Hope you went to this year’s Mullet Toss at Flora-Bama because it’s probably the last.

Mobile Register Legendary Flora-Bama belted, buried, standing
Portions of bar’s walls, roof damaged

The Flora-Bama lives. In a manner of speaking. That’s the tentative answer to one of the more earnest questions that people on Alabama’s coastline were asking Thursday: Did the Flora-Bama Lounge & Package store, that Perdido Key paragon, survive Hurricane Ivan? “I heard the ‘Bama’s totally gone,” an officer said at the Orange Beach police station. A friend of his got that from folks in Florida, he said, raising his eyebrows, pursing his lips and nodding gravely. Actually, it remains in its rightful place, straddling the state line on Beach Boulevard. But its familiar wood floor is now 3 feet of sand. The structure lost portions of walls and its roof and appeared to have heaved its contents onto Alabama 182. Among the items left standing were the bar’s marquee and a front window covered by a plywood sheet on which someone had spray-painted, “till we float away.” Parts of the bar itself and much of what had been inside were strewn across the high way — simple bar stools, aged ice chests, electric beer signs, steel kegs, a wood-handled blade for shucking oysters. An industrial-sized propane tank sat on its side in what would have been the roadway, hissing and smelling of sulfur. Something else reeked of rotting seafood. And everywhere, there was booze. Stacked neatly on a shelf inside, bottles of champagne and merlot. Cast about in the tempest, flasks of Southern Comfort and Jose Cuervo Gold, 1.75-liter bottles of Jack Daniel’s and Finnish vodka and Puerto Rican rum and several longnecks of Flora-Bama Mullet Head Red, some near-buried in sand, a few broken but most still sealed. It was as if a pirate ship had run aground. The Flora-Bama has been a beloved rebel legend. Before Baldwin County eased its blue laws, Alabama drinkers would go there to pick up a six-pack on Sunday. And Alabamians would avoid the authorities’ evacuation orders by shuffling to the Florida side of the bar, and vice versa. Or so the story goes. Developers built their high-rise condos, pastel and sand-hued, steadily closer to the bar in recent years, to the point that one began to steal some of the beachfront bar’s sunlight. The Flora-Bama and its gritty, graying wood stayed put. Until Ivan. There’s probably enough of the structure left that the proprietors could bolster a couple of the walls, build around it and insist that the Flora-Bama never fell. Still, the bar and the few other older buildings took the storm far harder than the more recent structures, especially in the stretch between Alabama Point and the state line. Ivan tore away the walls of several of the shorter condos. Practically every single-family home sustained more severe damage. A few were leveled, their utensils sitting atop the sand hundreds of feet from their kitchens. One house just across the Florida line came to rest more or less intact, squarely in the middle of the sand-covered road. The hurricane mangled large sections of the highway, which was undriveable at any rate due to a massive crane that fell across it. And the storm flattened the Perdido Key dunes. At least the Flora-Bama is still there, for now. Mobile lawyer Braxton Counts was among the handful of souls who managed to make the pilgrimage Thursday. He had come back to assess the damage to a nearby residence he and his wife own, one they had visited just Monday. But Mrs. Counts didn’t want to make it down to the ‘Bama that night, her husband recalled. “I tried to get her to come,” he said, “but she wouldn’t do it. I said, We need to go one more time, just in case.’”

Have Boiler, Will Travel

Flying boiler crushes pedestrian in China

BEIJING: A boiler that exploded at a Chinese sauna sailed over a six-storey building and landed on an old man crossing the road, Xinhua news agency said. The 63-year-old pedestrian was killed instantly and three people injured in Sunday’s bizarre accident in Baotou, Inner Mongolia, Xinhua quoted local police as saying. “A passerby tried to escape when he saw the large object flying towards him, but he was hurt in his leg,” Xinhua said. “Two workers in a restaurant next to the bathhouse were also injured after a wall of the restaurant collapsed.” The explosion of the boiler, measuring two-metres across, is under investigation.

Lawyers the spawn of satan? Not at this “school”

Heaven Help Us: Reverend Falwell Opens a Law School | New York Lawyer

AP – The Rev. Jerry Falwell will open a law school this year in hopes of training a generation of attorneys who will fight abortion rights, gay marriage and other issues he believes the legal establishment has forced on the public. “We want to infiltrate the culture with men and women of God who are skilled in the legal profession,” Falwell said Tuesday in a phone interview with The Associated Press. “We’ll be as far to the right as Harvard is to the left.” The law school, part of Falwell’s Liberty University in Lynchburg, Va., will begin classes on Aug. 23. Its first-year class of 61 students arrived for orientation this week. “I’d love to fight Roe v. Wade,” said incoming law student Heidi Thompson, 33, a Liberty graduate who has spent the past few years working as a high school counselor in Orlando, Fla. “I have a long way to go before I find myself in front of the Supreme Court,” Thompson said with a laugh. “But I’m hoping through some medical advances and some legal intervention that people can recognize the great wrong that was done in 1971 with Roe v. Wade.” Falwell said his law school will be similar to its Christian-leaning counterparts like Regent University in Virginia Beach, Va., which Pat Robertson founded. Classroom lectures and discussions will fuse the teachings of the Bible with the U.S. Constitution, stressing the connections between faith, law and morality, said law school Dean Bruce Green, who has experience in civil liberties litigation. “There is a strong need for this,” said Green, who believes many of his colleagues take sides on abortion and genetic engineering without first considering what is morally right. “There are certain views that might carry the day in legal circles that are morally indefensible and at one time was legally indefensible,” Green said. Joe Conn, a spokesman for Americans United for Separation of Church and State, called the law school part of an ongoing crusade by Falwell to get the government to carry out his religious agenda. “When Falwell talks about using the legal system to advance his personal religious beliefs, I get a whiff of the Taliban,” Conn said. “This is a very diverse country with many different religious beliefs, and when you set up a law school to try to get the government and legal system to conform to only one of them, you’re leaving everybody else out,” Conn said. Even before its doors open, Liberty officials say they’ve been overrun with applicants excited about learning law with the Bible in hand. Green said 195 lawyers applied for nine faculty positions, even though the school did not formally advertise any of the jobs. The school also allowed 21 more students than planned, selecting a student body from 22 states and India. Falwell credits the enthusiasm to “the tragedies that are happening in the federal courts and state courts across the land.” “Fifty years ago in America, there were few challenges to the moral and ethical values that are universal still among people of faith,” Falwell said. “It’s only been in the past generation that we’ve abandoned the values under which this nation was built,” leading to the ban on prayer in schools, legalization of abortion on demand and efforts to legalize same sex marriage, he said. Falwell expects the school eventually to have 450 students.

God is a Lesbian Comedian? That explains it.

‘Oh, God!’ it’s Ellen DeGeneres
Stars as the deity in the remake of the George Burns comedy

LOS ANGELES – Comedian Ellen DeGeneres is getting a promotion – to supreme being. DeGeneres will star as God in a remake of the 1977 comedy “Oh, God!” The original starred George Burns as the creator and John Denver as a supermarket manager tapped as a new prophet. “Ellen is a strong comedian and she has always done material about God and questions about God,” said Jerry Weintraub, who produced the original movie and also will oversee the remake. Weintraub said he’ll hire a screenwriter and director with the aim to shoot the movie during a break in DeGeneres’ schedule from her talk show next summer. Though successful on the small screen, DeGeneres misfired in an earlier transition to film with the romantic-comedy flop “Mr. Wrong.” She helped score a hit with her voice work on last year’s animated tale “Finding Nemo.”

I’ve got HO’s in the 510 Area Code (Area Code)

Prostitution ballot issue sparks fear

Berkeley doesn’t need the increase in street prostitution that would result if a measure aimed at decriminalization passes in November, said residents and activists at a packed forum on the subject. While more than 200 people attended the all-day conference at the Julia Morgan Center for the Arts on Monday, a group of sex workers and supporters met outside to demonstrate why the passage of Measure Q would have the opposite effect. Measure Q on the November ballot would direct the Berkeley police to give the lowest priority to enforcement of state prostitution laws. Many at the forum were residents of south and west Berkeley, who said their neighborhoods will bear an unfair share of the burden if the measure passes. “Where do you think these prostitutes are going to hang out?” said Jim Smith, former president of the Black Property Owners Association. “On the streets near the freeway exits — that means San Pablo and University, where we live. You’re certainly not going to see them up on Grizzly Peak.” Darryl Moore, a city council candidate, said the measure would “open the floodgates. The hookers, pimps and johns will be pouring in here from Richmond and Oakland,” said Moore, a Peralta College trustee. Other opponents of Measure Q were feminists who said decriminalization of prostitution would victimize women. “Prostitution is rape, pure and simple,” said Norma Hotaling, founder of the Standing Against Global Exploitation Project. “These women have no choice. We’ve heard so many stories from prostitutes about pimps beating them, gang-raping them or even threatening to kill their children if they don’t stay in line.” Added Melissa Farley, head of the Prostitution Education and Research Project, “If you decriminalize it, you’ll just drive up demand. And that’ll draw even more young women into the trade.” While the conference was going on inside, about a dozen sex workers and their supporters held a counter-demonstration outside. What they lacked in numbers, they made up in theatrics, including a news conference that featured Robyn Few, executive director of The Sex Workers Outreach Project USA, being locked in a set of stocks right out of “The Scarlet Letter.” “I don’t know what we’re fighting about,” she said after she was released. “They say they’re against exploitation of women, and so are we. The difference is that we think the goal can be accomplished by getting women off the streets, not by jailing them.” Margo St. James, founder of the prostitutes’ union, COYOTE (short for Call Off Your Old Tired Ethics), said the issue is one of civil rights. “Criminalization drives the business underground, so we can’t go to the cops when we’re in danger,” she said. Why do you think so many prostitutes are murdered in this country?” Measure Q faces an uphill battle in November, even in liberal Berkeley. Lining up against it are local pastors, Police Chief Roy Meisner, school board president John Selawsky, and the entire City Council. But Few predicted that however this battle turns out, her side will still win the war. “Measure Q is just symbolic, anyway,” she said. “Even if it passes, it’ll have no practical effect because they police already give prostitution laws a low priority. This is just the first step in our real goal, which is to decriminalize prostitution statewide. “If we lose in Berkeley, we’ll just move on to San Francisco and Santa Cruz.”

2004: The year of the Gay Politician

First there was McGreevy. Now the GOP wants in on the action.

Virginia congressman quits campaign amid rumors
Report: Web site alleges Republican Schrock is gay

NEW YORK (CNN) — Rep. Ed Schrock, one of the most conservative members of the House of Representatives, unexpectedly dropped his bid for a third term Monday amid unverified allegations that he called a gay phone sex line. The married Republican lawmaker, who has skipped the Republican National Convention, said in a statement that unspecified allegations sparked his decision. Allegations that Schrock is gay were posted on the Web site blogactive.com by Michael Rogers, according to The Associated Press. Two House Republican leadership aides told CNN that Schrock has been wrestling this month with how to respond to the allegations. Schrock, who plans to serve out the remainder of his term, has been a leading supporter of the Federal Marriage Amendment, a proposed constitutional amendment that would ban same-sex marriage. Rogers told the AP that his blog is aimed at exposing “hypocrites” in Congress. “It got to the point that he had to address [the allegations],” one GOP leadership aide said. Schrock had at least one meeting with the National Republican Congressional Committee to discuss the allegations. Schrock initially suggested to the NRCC that he “was going to fight it hard” before he had a change of heart, the aide said. “He didn’t want to drag his family through this thing,” the aide said. Attempts to contact the congressman through his chief of staff were unsuccessful. “In recent weeks, allegations have surfaced that have called into question my ability to represent the citizens of Virginia’s 2nd Congressional District,” Schrock said in a statement, according to the AP. “After much thought and prayer, I have come to the realization that these allegations will not allow my campaign to focus on the real issues facing our nation and region,” the statement said. “Therefore, as of today, I am stepping aside and will no longer be the Republican nominee for Congress in Virginia’s 2nd Congressional District.” The decision leaves Republicans scrambling to find a replacement before Friday’s deadline. The GOP is widely expected to retain the seat in eastern Virginia, which is the home base of conservative televangelist Pat Robertson. The party planned a meeting Tuesday in Virginia Beach to select a new nominee. State GOP chairwoman Kate Obenshain Griffin issued a statement thanking Schrock for his service. “It is now important for Virginia Republicans to unite behind our nominee and work hard to ensure the 2nd Congressional District continues to be represented by Republicans,” the statement said.

Father of the Year candidate (Best Dad Ever)

Father Faces Charges After His Two-Year-Old Daughter Got Drunk

FAIRFIELD, N.Y. — A central New York man faces child endangerment charges after his two-year-old daughter got drunk. State police say the girl was treated Sunday at a hospital for a blood alcohol level of .14, nearly twice the legal limit for an adult. Troopers say Eric Carney of Little Falls was at a friend’s house when he gave his daughter a taste of beer. He says she probably drank more on her own while he wasn’t looking. When he returned the toddler to her mother, she noticed that something was wrong. She took the girl to Little Falls Hospital, where doctors determined the child was intoxicated. The girl was treated and released into the care of her mother. Trooper say an order of protection has been issued against Carney to keep him away from his daughter.

Outrage: Man Arrested For Repositioning Throw Rugs!!!

Toupee snatcher fined, sentenced for taking hair on a dare

HARRISBURG, Pa. — A man has been fined and sentenced to probation for a hair-raising stunt that left a man bald. Paul J. Goudy, 25, of Lemoyne, pleaded guilty Monday to snatching the hairpiece off the head of another man at a restaurant as part of a dare. He was sentenced to 23 months’ probation, fined $500 and ordered to write a letter of apology. The victim, Edward Floyd, was sitting in the Fisaga restaurant in Harrisburg on Jan. 1 when Goudy ripped the hairpiece off his head, taking with it a gold chain that hung from his neck, according to court documents. “Don’t these guys have anything better to do than to rob and humiliate someone for absolutely no reason in the world? It’s just outrageous,” said Floyd, 60, of Harrisburg. “I’m a nice guy. I don’t bother anybody.” Goudy said another man, Matthew G. Flinchbaugh, 26, of Wormleysburg, had offered him $100 to do it as a dare. Flinchbaugh is scheduled to be arraigned next month on charges of soliciting Goudy to steal the hairpiece. Flinchbaugh’s lawyer, William Fetterhoff, said the prank was “an exercise in very poor judgment.” “It’s the sort of prank that when you’re on the other end – as Mr. Floyd was – it’s not funny at all,” he said.

It’s A Cooter Fest in Inverness. “A little Cooter never hurt anyone!”

As Covered by the Daily Show

Festival’s name survives scrutiny
Double entendre aside, the City Council is headstrong about naming an upcoming event the “Cooter Festival.” Some say the members are being naive.

INVERNESS – As the City Council talked about property tax rates and a new telephone system for City Hall, there was an elephant in the room Tuesday night, or, more accurately, a turtle. Finally, council member Marc Wigmore broached the subject. Was “cooter,” to which the town is planning to hitch its identity in a festival, a name for something besides the little freshwater turtles that slide into the area’s ponds? A Times column published the day before had alerted Wigmore to the possibility that it also “refers to a certain part of the female anatomy located south of the Mason-Dixon Line.” “I guess I was unaware with other meanings for this word that I don’t know if we’d like associated with our festival,” Wigmore told his peers. “To cut right to it: It offends me.” In the end, council members marched on undaunted with their plans, ignoring the off-color side of a word embraced by even a 77-year-old great-grandmother, who coordinates a South Carolina cooter festival. … Cooter is still used in South Carolina, Georgia, and the Gulf states to denote the edible freshwater turtle of the genus Chrysemys and, by extension, other turtles and tortoises. – The American Heritage Dictionary of the English Language. Regardless of the Mr. Hyde nature of the word cooter and its origin, Marcella White said the Inverness City Council is naive to think it is a definition known by only a “minority.” She is the project coordinator of the Spring Cooter Fest of Allendale County, S.C., which hosted its first “cooter race” in 1984. Since then, the festival has grown to include a Cooter Fest parade, Cooter Bowl and beauty contest. “The girls that enter the beauty contest don’t want to be called Miss Cooter,” White said, so they are called Miss Spring Fest. She said Allendale long accepted cooter’s racy definition and even markets it on T-shirts with slogans: “A little cooter never hurt anyone.” “And they sell like hot cakes,” said White, 77. She said Inverness officials should publicize that they unequivocally mean “turtle” before their festival but at the same time subtly acknowledge the word’s double meaning in jest to get ahead of the jokes before their festival becomes the butt of one.

Law on the side of Tip Skippers

A Mandatory Gratuity Is Just a Tip, and Thus Not Mandatory, a Prosecutor Says

As it turns out, a tip is just a tip, even if you put “mandatory” in front of it. Charges were dropped yesterday against a Long Island man who was arrested last week for failing to leave a required 18 percent gratuity at Soprano’s Italian and American Grill in Lake George, N.Y. The Warren County district attorney, Kathleen B. Hogan, said that she had determined that the man, Humberto A. Taveras, could not be forced to pay a gratuity. Ms. Hogan said, “A tip or gratuity is discretionary, and that’s what the courts have found.” But the dispute over a tip of a few dollars still cost Mr. Taveras, 41, of Roslyn Heights, several hundred dollars in legal fees. “Basically, they stated that you can’t enforce a gratuity; it’s voluntary,” said Mr. Taveras, who was on a train going home from Manhattan yesterday evening while his lawyer completed paperwork in Lake George, 60 miles north of Albany. On Sept. 5, Mr. Taveras and his party, which included his wife, Marie, another couple, and the five children of both couples, were charged $77.43 for their meal, and an additional $13.73 for a tip. Joe and Tina Soprano, the restaurant’s owners, said the party of nine had not paid any part of the 18 percent gratuity required of all groups of six or more. Mr. Taveras said he had left a 10 percent tip. The Sopranos summoned the police, and soon Mr. Taveras was arrested and charged with theft of services. Mr. Taveras said he had seen no notice of the tipping policy on the menu, although Mr. Soprano said it was included on all menus. But Mr. Taveras said that the group had decided the food was not particularly good, and so did not pay the 18 percent. Mr. Taveras was taken away in a police car, fingerprinted, subjected to national publicity. He said he eventually paid his lawyer a few hundred dollars to pursue the matter. Mr. Taveras said he was not sorry. “I didn’t like that my children had to hear, ‘Your dad walked out on a bill,’ and stuff like that,” Mr. Taveras said. Several telephone calls to the Sopranos’ restaurant yesterday were not answered. Mr. Taveras has dined at several restaurants since the arrest, and, he said, he has left some good tips.

Q: Ma’am why did you stuff 3 kids in the trunk like that? A: Because 4 would be unsafe

or A: I didn’t want to make 2 trips
or A: I’m drunk and couldn’t think straight
or A: My momma smoked crack when I was 6
or A: Kids? What kids?

Police: Indy Mother Drove With Kids In Trunk
Woman Charged With 3 Counts Of Child Neglect

INDIANAPOLIS — An Indianapolis woman is accused of transporting three of her children in the trunk of her car Saturday while driving impaired. Police said Linda Lee Crenshaw, 45, was driving with seven passengers inside the car, and three children — aged 6, 7 and 8 — inside the trunk. “We received a phone call from a passerby who saw her put three kids in the trunk. She tells us she did it because she did not want to make more than one trip to the movie theater, which is where she intended to go with the kids,” Marion County Sheriff’s Department Capt. Phil Burton said. Police said Crenshaw changed her plans and instead headed to a go-kart and miniature golf course. An officer stopped her. Crenshaw faces three counts of child neglect and preliminary charges of driving under the influence of alcohol. Crenshaw’s great-grandmother, Clara Eggelston, said she can’t justify what Crenshaw allegedly did. “I think she used very, very, poor judgement. I have been around people who have a drinking problem and I know they don’t think straight when they are under the influence,” Eggelston said. None of the children were hurt in the incident. Crenshaw is scheduled for an initial hearing Wednesday, Thomas reported.

DUI Hearing Checklist: Call Lawyer. Put on Suit. Get Lit!

Police Say Man Showed Up Drunk For DUI Hearing

READING, Pa. — Police say a Berks County man showed up drunk Monday for his preliminary hearing on drunken driving charges. Officials say 46-year-old Emerson Moore Junior of Caernarvon Township was awaiting his hearing before Muhlenberg Township District Justice Dean Patton when Moore got into an argument with state Trooper Roberto Soto. Soto had arrested Moore in the drunken-driving case June 20. Officials say the trooper smelled alcohol on Moore’s breath as the two stood in the hallway outside Patton’s courtroom. Police say Moore, who had driven himself to court, had a blood-alcohol level of 0.1 percent. The legal limit for driving in Pennsylvania is 0.08 percent. Patton revoked Moore’s bail in the drunken-driving case and sent him to Berks County Prison on $2,500 bail. The justice said Moore will also be cited for public drunkenness.

Hot Dog burns down house

Pizza-loving pooch blamed for fire

A dog with a nose for pizza left on a stovetop apparently turned on the range inside a Ken Del apartment late Tuesday night causing a fire to start in unit No. 42. As Shawnee firefighters raced to the complex at 101 Ken Del Drive, residents in other units evacuated the building. The tenant in a nearby unit called 911 when smoke came through her ventilation system — then smoke detectors began to sound in the eight-unit building. Shawnee Fire Battalion Chief Jim VanAntwerp said the cause of the fire was a pizza box that ignited on the stove. Firefighters and the tenant believe the dog inside, Sydney, pushed the stove’s “on” button. The dog’s owner wasn’t home at the time of the fire. The door of Unit No. 42 was kicked in, and Sydney was freed. She was hot, but fine. No injuries were reported. VanAntwerp said flames did travel up to the cabinets of the unit, but fire was contained to the kitchen area. Other parts of the apartment sustained smoke damage, but most of the tenant’s belongings were intact. He has no renter’s insurance. Jo Ellen Watson, chief executive officer of the complex, said another apartment will be made available to the tenant while repairs are made. He was going to stay with a friend Tuesday night. As firefighters worked in Unit No. 42, other residents who live in the same building waited patiently outside. “It’s scary,” said Jana Littleton, who lives in one of the downstairs units. When she arrived home to fire trucks everywhere, she said she was pretty sure her belongings would be OK, “but you never know.” Littleton’s and other units had some smell of smoke inside, but were otherwise not damaged. Tenants were allowed back into their homes Tuesday night. Estimated damage to the apartment was about $15,000. Firefighters said the stove, refrigerator, cabinets, and dishwasher were heavily damaged. Watson said there was a fire in the same building about eight years ago. She said firefighters were on the scene fast Tuesday night, which helped prevent this fire from spreading. “The response was impressive,” she said.

Carol Seaver – Sharing the laughter, love, and the pain of the freeway embankment.

Tracey Gold In Felony DUI Bust
Son, 7, hurt after “Growing Pains” actress rolled SUV

Show me that smile again

SEPTEMBER 13–Actress Tracey Gold, who starred in TV’s “Growing Pains” and famously went public with her anorexia battle, was arrested earlier this month for drunk driving after rolling her SUV — carrying her husband and three young boys–down a California freeway embankment, The Smoking Gun has learned. The 35-year-old Gold is pictured [above] in a Ventura County Sheriff’s Office mug shot obtained by TSG. Gold was busted by California Highway Patrol officers and charged with a felony count of driving under the influence causing injury. According to a CHP spokesman, Gold was driving a 2001 GMC Yukon on Route 118 on September 3 when she lost control of the vehicle. While Gold’s husband and two of her sons (ages five and four months) were not seriously injured in the late-night crash, the actress’s oldest child, 7-year-old Sage, suffered a broken clavicle and a head laceration. After CHP officers administered sobriety tests, Gold was arrested on the DUI charge, said CHP spokesman Steve Reid. Booked under her married name, Tracey Gold Marshall, the actress spent five hours in the Ventura lockup before being released on $50,000 bail. She is scheduled for an October 19 appearance in Superior Court.

Kerry poll numbers falling faster than Rosie O’Donnell tripping at the top of the stairs

KERRY POLL RANK LOWER THAN DUKAKIS, JESSE JACKSON, MARTHA STEWART, PUTIN

Tue Sep 14 2004 12:06:00 ET In last week’s WASHINGTONPOSTWABCNEWS Poll, John F. Kerry was viewed favorably by 36 percent of registered voters, down 18 points over the past six months. But just how low Kerry’s standing has fallen cannot be appreciated fully without comparing his standing with that of other household names in GALLUP polls over the years, the POST’s Dana Milbank reported on Tuesday. Kerry finds himself in a dead heat with Martha Stewart and Joseph McCarthy, and behind Herbert Hoover — although he narrowly beats O.J. Simpson.

Michael Jordan: 83 (2000)
Tony Blair: 76 (2003)
Pope John Paul II: 73 (2003)
Democratic Party: 54 (2004)
John Ashcroft: 49 (2003)
Michael Dukakis: 47 (1988)
Prince Charles: 45 (2003)
Herbert Hoover: 43 (1944)
Jesse Jackson: 38 (2003)
Vladimir Putin: 38 (2003)
John Kerry: 36 (2004)
Martha Stewart: 36 (2004)
Joseph McCarthy: 35 (1954)

Wife beat down by husband with blender

Blender is weapon in city slaying
Husband admits hitting wife 20 times in head

A Fort Wayne man charged with murder Monday in the death of his wife told police he struck her head at least 20 times with a blender last week. The Allen County Coroner’s Office declared Caroline Taylor’s death Tuesday Allen County’s 23rd homicide this year. Coroner Dr. E. Jon Brandenberger ruled the cause of death was blunt force trauma to the head. Police arrested Caroline Taylor’s husband, Leroy E. Taylor, 52, on a murder charge after her body was found at their house, 3626 Felician St., on Monday.
Taylor told investigators he killed his 51-year-old wife by striking her head at least 20 times with a blender in their bedroom on Aug. 25, a probable cause affidavit filed in Allen Superior Court said. Police and firefighters found Caroline Taylor lying face down in the upstairs bedroom about 3:30 p.m. Monday. Taylor told a police officer at the scene, “I used a mixer,” court documents said. Court documents later referred to the mixer as a blender. When the officer asked him what he meant, Taylor answered, “I just killed her, she was going to start bugging people again,” the affidavit said. Police and paramedics were called to the house by a relative of the couple who was visiting, police said. Taylor was seen sitting on the front porch of the house eating food from McDonald’s when the first responders arrived. When a firefighter asked Taylor how he was doing, he replied, “I killed her with a mixer.” He added: “My wife had gone to the neighbors to play with the kids, and they called police,” court documents said. In an interview at police headquarters, Taylor said he obtained the blender from the basement and went upstairs to the bedroom where his wife was watching television. Taylor told police he struck her in the head when she turned her back to him to reach for a cigarette, the affidavit said. Richard Dickmeyer, of Columbia City, Caroline Taylor’s brother, said the couple has been married for 12 or 13 years. He declined to comment further. This year, a Woodburn woman filed protective orders against Leroy and Caroline Taylor. In the application, the woman stated Leroy Taylor called her twice at her home while he was drunk. The application, filed Feb. 12, was withdrawn on Feb. 20. The woman declined to comment.

Kobe’s “mistress” needed to learn some Judo

Alleged Victim: “Judo know If I got some martial arts skillz, punk”.

Girl uses judo skills to thwart attack

TOKYO, Sept. 12 (UPI) — A postal worker has been arrested in Japan after an alleged attempted molestation was foiled by his would-be victim’s judo skills. Police said Norio Shigefuji approached the 18-year-old girl from behind Thursday night on a street near his home, Mainichi Daily News reported. They said he touched the girl’s thighs, and she responded by grabbing him by the collar and throwing him to the ground. Shigefuji fled the scene, but police were able to locate him using a bag he dropped at the scene. “I approached her because she looked cute,” officers quoted Shigefuji as saying. “But I was astonished when she flung me to the ground.”

German Minister: Beer is Healthy. Prescribe that sucka.

Minister says beer should be on the NHS

Germany’s Economics minister says beer is so healthy it should be available on the country’s health service. Minister Wolfgang Clement, 64, who can reportedly down a beer in 1.5 seconds, claims he can’t get enough of the brew. “People should be able to get prescriptions for beer through the national health system,” he said. The positive effects of beer were recently confirmed in a paper by Austrian professor Manfred Walzl of the Graz neurological clinic. According to Walzl, beer reduces the risk of stroke and heart attack, improves circulation, and even acts as an aphrodisiac – if not taken to excess. He says men can drink up to 1.75 pints a day, and women half of that, in order to experience the healthy effects of beer.

How Bush will beat Kerry

Georgia Southern drops 84 on Johnson C. Smith.

The school that brought you future CFL Hall of Fame QB Tracy Ham and Chicago Bears back-up running back Adrian Peterson thrashed Johnson C. Smith 84-3 on Saturday. The Eagles were up 37-0 in the first quarter, and rolled for 574 yards on the ground. The game against Johnson C. Smith was a replacement game, since the originally scheduled game with 1916 Cumberland College was cancelled in the off-season.

For those of you who thought that game was bad …
Western Illinois beat Cheyney State 98-7. WIU’s star tailback Travis Glasford had 229 yards and 6 touchdowns, and five other Leathernecks had rushing touchdowns. WIU scored 42 first quarter points, and pretty much had the game wrapped up at halftime, on top 70-0. Next week, WIU plays 1916 Cumberland College.

Bush deals with protesters like Ike deals with Tina

Apparently this one didn’t sign the Loyalty Oath

A member of the audience pulls a demonstrator’s hair as he forces her out of an auditorium where President Bush (news – web sites) was addressing a crowd of supporters at Byers Choice in Colmar, Pa. Thursday Sept. 9, 2004. (AP Photo/Jacqueline Larma)

Necrophilia (and Breaking and Entering) now ilegal in California

I thought Necrophilia WAS breaking and entering!

SAN FRANCISCO (Reuters) – Having sex with corpses is now officially illegal in California after Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger signed a bill barring necrophilia, a spokeswoman said on Friday. The new legislation marks the culmination of a two-year drive to outlaw necrophilia in the state and will help prosecutors who have been stymied by the lack of an official ban on the practice, according to experts. “Nobody knows the full extent of the problem. … But a handful of instances over the past decade is frequent enough to have a bill concerning it,” said Tyler Ochoa, a professor at Santa Clara University School of Law who has studied California cases involving allegations of necrophilia. “Prosecutors didn’t have anything to charge these people with other than breaking and entering. But if they worked in a mortuary in the first place, prosecutors couldn’t even charge them with that,” Ochoa said. The state’s first attempt to outlaw necrophilia, in response to a case of a man charged with having sex with the corpse of a 4-year-old girl in Southern California, stalled last year in a legislative committee. Lawmakers revived the bill this year after an unsuccessful prosecution of a man found in a San Francisco funeral home drunk and passed out on top of an elderly woman’s corpse. The new law makes sex with a corpse a felony punishable by up to eight years in prison.

3 credits for betting class

Lessons in sports betting put UNLV officials at odds

UNLV is again offering a course this fall called Sports Betting: How to Win Betting on Football. The lessons in sports betting are putting some UNLV officials at odds. Critics are concerned such courses could compound addiction issues for problem gamblers and the community. They also worry it could tarnish the university’s image as an institution of higher education and a leader in the field of problem gambling. Class instructor Stephen Nover says the course will feature oddsmakers and other professionals who’ll offer tips and share strategies on successful sports gambling. UNLV professor Bill Thompson, a specialist in gambling studies, says the problem with the course is that it uses the university’s name and facilities in ways that could undermine its efforts to address the issue of problem gambling.

Ms. Universe is a clutz

Miss Universe’s bad stair day

JENNIFER Hawkins has had another slip up just days after her skirt fell off at a fashion show in Sydney. In Melbourne to promote Spring Fashion Week, the accident-prone Miss Universe took an embarrassing tumble on her way down to the Yarra River bank for a gondola ride. Dressed in a knee-length black dress, she got past three steps without drama before slipping on the fourth and landing squarely, not to mention firmly, on the backside shown to millions last week. “Oh my God, what’s my luck,” the Newcastle beauty said as she boarded the gondola, laughing off the incident in much the same down-to-earth manner she had in Sydney. She made her excuses on Channel 10’s The Panel last night. “Can I just say it was raining in Melbourne today,” she said after groaning as footage of the fall was screened one more time. Hawkins has been asked about “that” Sydney fashion show ever since losing her skirt and exposing her red g-string to a crowd of thousands at a Westfield catwalk show in Miranda. “I’ve been and bought some safety pins, that’s for sure,” she said yesterday during a press conference. Luckily, yesterday’s incident spared her from the embarrassment of revealing her undies for a second time. She managed to grab vital pieces of material around her dress just in time. While promoting Melbourne’s fashion week, Hawkins is also hoping to give Australian designers a boost before she goes off jet-setting again in her official capacity as Miss Universe. “It’s always nice for me to say I am wearing Australian designed clothing,” she admitted. Hawkins, a former Newcastle Knights cheerleader, has had a busy week since returning from the US for the first time since winning the Miss Universe title. On Tuesday night, she made her league club’s captain Danny Buderus the happiest man in town by helping to present him with rugby league’s Dally M award. Alongside Prime Minster John Howard, she was asked what she’d do if she were the PM for a day. Somewhat diplomatically, she replied: “John Howard’s doing a great job. I wouldn’t change a thing.” She also gave cheerleading the big thumbs up, despite pressures to drop the practice in the wake of sex scandals that have dogged rugby league. “It gives the game a bit of an edge,” she said. “Plus, it gives the guys in the crowd something look at, so everyone’s happy.”

Batman visits Buckingham

Protester Dressed as Batman Scales Buckingham Palace

LONDON — Holy intruder! A protester dressed in a Batman costume scaled the front wall of Buckingham Palace on Monday and perched for more than five hours on a ledge near the balcony where the royal family appears on ceremonial occasions. The protester’s success in climbing the wall in front of the queen’s main residence prompted fresh questions about the much-criticized and recently overhauled royal security operation. “It’s not good enough and we want to know how this happened,” Metropolitan Police Commissioner Sir John Stevens told British Broadcasting Corp. radio. Two police officers in a cherry-picker crane removed the protester, Jason Hatch, from the ledge at about 7:15 p.m., 5 1/2 hours after he climbed up. His Batman mask removed and a white helmet placed on his head, he waved and clapped as the crane lowered him to the ground. Hatch, 33, from Gloucester, is a member of the Fathers 4 Justice group, which is campaigning for greater custody rights for divorced or separated fathers and has staged a number of prominent stunts to promote their cause. No member of the royal family was at the palace Monday. Queen Elizabeth II was at her Balmoral residence in Scotland. Still, police were stung by the apparent ease with which Hatch climbed up to his perch. Asked if the breach was embarrassing for authorities, Stevens replied, “There’s no doubt it is. I’ve asked for a full report as soon as possible on my desk tomorrow morning. We’ve got to resolve the situation.” Police tried to talk Hatch as he stood for hours above a banner bearing the words “Superdads of Fathers 4 Justice, Fighting for Your Right to See Your Kid.” Fathers 4 Justice members said Hatch and an accomplice dressed as Batman’s partner, Robin, had climbed a palace perimeter fence while fellow protesters distracted police by creating a disturbance at the palace’s front gate. Matt O’Connor, the group’s spokesman, said Hatch and the man in the Robin costume, Dave Pyke, used an extendable aluminum ladder to climb the side of the palace to the balcony. Pyke said he came down when he’d gotten halfway up the ladder because a police officer threatened to shoot him, but no one detained him and he walked away. Police apprehended him later. He said it had been “unbelievably easy” to breach security. “We are totally untrained; we are just ordinary guys. If we can get in there anybody can,” he said. O’Connor said the protest was timed to coincide with Monday’s trial of another group member, Patrick Ronald Davis, 48, who is accused of throwing purple flour at Prime Minister Tony Blair in the House of Commons in May. That incident sparked a security alert, and new restrictions on public access to the chamber. On Saturday, another member of the group who dressed as Spider-man climbed atop the 137-meter London Eye Ferris wheel beside the River Thames. In another headline-grabbing stunt, one of the group’s members spent five days atop a 120-foot crane beside London’s Tower Bridge to call attention to the group’s cause. A government-commissioned report had warned in May that terrorists could exploit lax security that allowed a tabloid reporter to join the royal staff. In response, Buckingham Palace created a new position of security director. Officials were embarrassed on the eve of a state visit by President Bush in November when Daily Mirror reporter Ryan Parry revealed he had been hired by the palace even though he gave false references. Parry’s stories, which included details about the queen’s breakfast tastes and photos of a rubber duck in the royal bath, were picked up by media worldwide. An earlier royal embarrassment came in June 2003 when a comedian dressed as Osama bin Laden gatecrashed Prince William’s 21st birthday party at Windsor Castle, kissing the prince on both cheeks. “This is another embarrassing breakdown in security at the palace,” Mark Oaten, law enforcement issues spokesman for the opposition Liberal Democrat party, said of Monday’s episode. “After so many episodes like this, there must be serious questions asked over the ability of our authorities to protect the royal family.” Darryl Westell, another Fathers 4 Justice activist, said Hatch had not been able to see his two children for four years even though he lived only a short walk away from them. “Not seeing your children is worse than being put in prison,” Pyke said. Blair’s spokesman said, “We don’t believe that events like this actually help address what is the complexity of the problem.”

Don’t Eat Heinz! Eat Dubya Ketchup

Finally – something to put on your freedom fries.

They charge money for this?

Hong Kong company develops “virtual girlfriend” cell phone technology

HONG KONG (AP) – She needs to be coddled with sweet talk and pampered with gifts, but you’ll never see her in the flesh, says a Hong Kong company that’s developing a “virtual girlfriend” for new cell phones with video capability. Artificial Life, Inc.’s electronic love interest will appear as an animated figure on a telephone screen. But she’ll require a lot of attention, involving virtual flowers and diamonds, company spokeswoman Ada Fong said on Monday. The gifts will keep the relationship going from one level to the next – and even though it’s all made up of cold, hard data, suitors will have to pay cold, hard cash for the gifts. The amounts have yet to be determined, Fong said. Users of so-called third-generation, or 3G, cell phones who subscribe to the game can send text messages to the virtual woman, who’ll respond by voice, Fong said. If she’s neglected, “she’ll be unhappy and she won’t talk to you,” she added. The game doesn’t allow interactions of a sexual nature, Fong said, calling it “suitable for all ages.” The company hopes to develop a virtual boyfriend for women by early next year. The virtual girlfriend is similar to the popular Tamagotchi “pet” concept developed by Japan’s Bandai Co., Fong said. Artificial Life hopes to launch the service in the English, Japanese and Korean languages in late November. No 3G operators have agreed to offer it yet, she said.

More useless research for dogs

Music to Soothe Dogs With

AMSTERDAM (Reuters) – Help is at hand for pet owners and their neighbors troubled by barking dogs — soothing recordings of “new age”-style music blended with sounds of nature. “Piano music with twittering birds and murmuring water apparently has a soothing effect on dogs,” said a spokesman for LindeTree, the company marketing the new age CD. “The owner can put it on whenever he leaves the house or needs some peace of mind.” The firm’s idea was inspired by research at the University of Belfast
into the effect of different types of music on 50 dogs: heavy metal songs caused them to howl and growl; classical music calmed them down.

It’s all relative in WV

Abercrombie & Fitch Again Pokes Fun At West Virginia
Retailer Says T-Shirts Sold Well

CHARLESTON, W. Va. — The governor of West Virginia doesn’t think a retailer’s jokes about his state are very funny. Gov. Bob Wise said he intends to do something about a new Abercrombie & Fitch T-shirt that says “West Virginia — No Lifeguard in the Gene Pool.” The governor called the message cruel, and said the state is planning a response. Back in March, Wise went on national television to criticize another West Virginia humor shirt. That one said “It’s all relative in West Virginia.” At that time, Wise said the slogan fostered an “unfounded, negative stereotype of West Virginia.” He demanded that Abercrombie & Fitch take the shirts off its shelves, but a company spokesman said the stock had already been depleted. Other Abercrombie & Fitch T-shirts lampoon Kentucky (”Electricity in Almost Every Town”) and Wisconsin (”Wisconsin Cuts the Cheese”).

Grading papers with Red Ink

Won’t purple ink have that connotation after a year?

Debatable — Should teachers avoid grading with red ink?

Teachers nationwide say they’re moving away from grading papers with red pens because it’s too negative. Should red be avoided on students’ papers? “Red just has a connotation. It just doesn’t have a good feeling for kids,” said Diane Coccari, who teaches sixth-grade English in Madison. “In fact, there’s a move away from marking up papers at all,” she said. “Writing is very personal. You want to not make them feel bad in any way. I think as teachers, we pick our favorite colors, and I like
purple and green.” In fact, the “in” color for teachers now is purple, said Leatrice Eiseman, a color psychologist and director of the Pantone Color Institute in Carlstadt, N.J. Office supply stores such as OfficeMax and Staples are responding to the trend by stocking more purple pens, adding purple to multicolor packs and selling all-purple packs, according to The Boston Globe. “Red is the most aggressive of all colors, and it sets off the fight-or-flight response,” Eiseman said Thursday. “It meant bloodshed or one of the colors in fire, so a clicker goes off in your head that red means danger.” That’s where purple comes in, Eiseman said. “You want the kid’s attention, but you don’t want them to feel like a loser at the same time,” he said. “Purple is attention-getting without being intimidating, and as a combination of red and blue, you also have the stability, the authority of blue. So purple is a good choice.” Tom Hardin, an English teacher in Madison, is in the anti-red crowd. “I never have used red,” he said. “As a student growing up, I’d get my papers back and they’d be filled with red ink, and I could never understand the notations, so I’ve always had this aversion to red
ink,” Hardin said. “I use pencil, blue or black pen, and I circle what’s incorrect and have students figure out in a group what’s incorrect, so they do their own correcting.” But Thomas Bennett, a math teacher, said he hasn’t given the color issue much thought, “I use whatever’s handy – red more often than anything else.” He added, “When they do well, I put smiley faces on and other comments. I don’t think the color matters. I think who the teacher is matters more than what the color is.” Ed Bolden, a math teacher, has used red, blue and green. “The reason I use red is because when I’m grading 60 tests and I’m flipping through them, it’s easier for me to spot that contrast in color,” Bolden said. “I have heard the idea before that red is not the most appropriate color to use from some students a year or two ago,” he said. “Red, I have heard that people equate it to anger. It doesn’t mean that much to me, because I’m so used to it.” Sharon Jimenez, who teaches fourth and fifth grade at a Madison elementary school, uses blue, green, purple and red. “I like blue and green a lot, instead of the traditional red, where a child thinks something’s wrong right away,” Jimenez said. “When I was a child, red was what I did wrong. I think that’s why some teachers stay away from red. I like a variety.” Brenda Ingersoll is a reporter for the Wisconsin State Journal in Madison.

Sex on TV affects teens? Nooooo Waaaay!

TV Increases Teen’s Likelihood Of Having Sex, Study Says
Parents Urged To Discuss Content Of Shows With Teens

BIRMINGHAM, Ala. — A new study finds teenagers who watch sexually oriented television are more likely to have sex and have it at a younger age. The two-year study also claims that sexually oriented shows rarely deal with the negative aspects of sex that most teens aren’t prepared to deal with, including unwanted pregnancy and sexually transmitted diseases. “The kids who watched more sex on TV were twice as likely to initiate intercourse over that year, as compared to the kids who watched the very least sex on TV,” said Rebecca Collins, a behavioral scientist who headed the study for RAND Health, a division of the RAND Corp, a nonprofit research organization. The study questioned nearly 1,800 teens about their TV viewing habits and just how much sexually oriented programming they were watching. A
year later, the kids were questioned again. “We found that we could predict whether kids went from being virgins to having had sex over the course of that year, using the information about which shows they watched,” said Collins. One local watchdog group notes the visual images depict an acceptance of sexual behavior. “Overwhelmingly, the message is that there is no consequence in having sex at whatever age,” said Jim Metrock, of Obligation, Inc. Meanwhile, experts said parents could help ward off regretful experiences by using racy TV shows as a way to talk to kids about sex. Others have said to structure the time and place kids watch television. “Take TVs out their children’s bedrooms — that would minimize the exposure to a lot of the TV shows,” said Metrock. Experts suggest parents at least take time to consider the messages kids are getting from what they’re watching. Previous research from the Kaiser Family Foundation has found that an average of two-thirds of television programs have some kind of sexual content.

Ricky Williams spotted near court?

Marijuana Plants Found Outside Courthouse

GREEN BAY, Wis. (AP) Sheriff’s officers had marijuana growing right under their noses – or at least right outside their headquarters – before discovering and removing the illegal weed. A Green Bay television station reported Tuesday night that it received a tip and alerted the Brown County Sheriff’s Department about the greenery in a planter on the south side of the courthouse. Chief Deputy John Gossage wasn’t sure of the plants’ identity, but a drug officer confirmed the presence of marijuana. “Obviously, as a prank, somebody planted this or dropped some seeds into the plants,” Gossage said. The drug officer pulled the six small plants, which were to be destroyed. “It’s a good thing it was brought to our attention because someone may have realized what it was and could’ve taken it and used it,” Gossage said.

Hooters to expand – to INDIA!!!

Hooters sets its eyes on India: Wings-and-winks chain expands into a new market

With all those reports of call centers heading off to India, one U.S. brand intends to tap into the subcontinent’s growing prosperity. Hooters is exporting its controversial brand of home-grown sex appeal. The Atlanta-based restaurant chain, known more for its scantily-clad female servers than its rib-sticking menu, this week announced it signed a deal to open several Indian franchise locations, though it has not said where. Is it time to welcome the Babes of Bangalore? “I am looking forward to the ‘recreation’ of this dining atmosphere,” Sunil Bedi, Managing Director of franchisee H.O.I. Pvt. Ltd., said in a statement. Hooters has drawn attention — and more than a little backlash — for its trademark outfits, generally a white tank top and hip-hugging orange shorts, more often than not worn by young, attractive, often … um, well-developed women. “The outfits don’t change. We make some allowances for local menu,” said Mike McNeil, vice president of marketing for Hooters of America “We might have the steak sandwich, but you might also be able to get fish and rice or curried chicken or something like that.” The steak sandwich might not fly. Hindu diets specifically prohibit beef. McDonald’s India, for example, offers a Chicken Maharaja Mac as well as the vegetarian McAloo Tikki Burger.

Going global
Bedi and his fellow franchisees can sort that out. They’ll be in charge of hiring local waitresses (a 1997 settlement allows Hooters to keep an all-female serving staff, at least in the United States) and choose the menu, with ultimate oversight from the Atlanta headquarters. Between five and 10 Indian locations are initially planned, with the first opening next year. Hooters’ expansion is the latest sign that U.S. businesses have awoken to the potential of the Indian middle class and its growing disposable income, said Jagdip Ahluwalia, executive director of the Indo-American Chamber of Commerce of Greater Houston. “We’ve got Domino’s there, we’ve got McDonald’s there, we’ve got all these brands out there,” Ahluwalia said. “There is a window of opportunity that’s open. And if we don’t grab that opportunity, Europe will.” Hooters already has a strong global presence with some 370 restaurants, including 26 overseas locations in such places as Austria, Guatemala, Singapore and Taiwan. This is its first location in South Asia, where more modest sensibilities often prevail. But it has aggressive plans for further expansion — including its first restaurant in China, due this fall, three restaurants in Thailand and elsewhere. “We’re going to continue to fill out Latin America,” said McNeil. Earlier this month, it also unveiled a line of Hooters potato chips (hot wing and dill pickle flavors) and announced that Las Vegas’ Hotel San Remo would reopen as the Hooters Casino Hotel. With 25,000 employees, the privately held chain proudly defends its use of sex appeal and the role of its 15,000 Hooters girls. “To Hooters, the women’s rights movement is important,” the company’s Web site states, “because it guarantees women have the right to choose their own careers, be it a Supreme Court Justice or Hooters Girl.” U.S. locations serve beer and wine, but no hard liquor. Beer remains a popular choice among Indian drinkers, who consume nearly 80 million cases a year. And the skimpy attire? “Hooters is not immoral,” Ahluwalia said. “It’s a different way of marketing their product.”

I’ll take a pepperoni pizza and I’ll give you a hotel.

‘Monopoly’ money for pizza sends man to jail

COPENHAGEN, Denmark (Reuters) — A Danish man was sentenced to 25 days in jail after trying to buy a pizza with fake banknotes he said his grandchildren had made for a game of Monopoly. The 57-year-old said he had rented two color photocopiers to make extra fake money for the regular family games of Finans, a Danish version of the popular board game, the news agency Ritzau reported on Monday. He said he had simply made a mistake when he tried to pay for pizza and ice cream with a fake 500 crown ($80) note. But the court, hearing that he had been carrying 57,000 crowns worth of forged notes when he was arrested, followed one of the Monopoly game’s instructions and told him to “Go to Jail.”

My initial conclusion is that the sun messes up stuff that gets too close

It also burns money in the form of billion-dollar experiments sent towards it.

Parachute Fails on Genesis Space Capsule

The Genesis space capsule’s slammed into the earth early Wednesday morning after its parachute failed to deploy. The impact drove the capsule halfway underground. NASA engineers fear the explosive for the parachute might still be alive and ready to fire and it’s keeping helicopter crews at bay. Two helicopter pilots were in place to capture the craft and had performed dozens of practice runs, but they never got a chance to catch it as it instead tumbled out of control. The capsule was carrying (B) billions of electrically charged atoms collected from the solar wind that scientists hoped would reveal clues about the origin and evolution of the solar system. It isn’t immediately clear whether the cosmic samples have been destroyed.

Tip: Never refer to a bouncer with a racial slur

WRONG APPROACH

DON’T use racist taunts on the enormous bouncers at Bungalow 8. An upset partier exiting the Chelsea hotspot the other night with his female companion uttered the N-word to one of the African-American security personnel, then quickly darted into a waiting cab. The bouncers chased down the taxi, pulled open its doors, and furnished instant justice. “This guy must have been scared out of his wits when they caught the cab. They literally tossed his girl out like a rag doll, dragged the guy out, and proceeded to take turns beating him down. Then they tossed him back in the cab bloody and shirtless,” our witness reported. A spokesperson for the club couldn’t be reached.

The Pin-ying Dismemberment

China holds brothers for killing 12

BEIJING: Chinese police have detained two brothers who killed 12 people, most of them women working in nightclubs and bath houses whom they robbed and dismembered in a 15-month spree. Shen Changyin, 29, and Shen Changping, 21, were dismembering a victim when police acting on a tip-off broke into their hideout in Shijiazhuang, capital of the northern province of Hebei, on Tuesday, the Yanzhao Metropolitan News said yesterday. A female accomplice, Du Surong, was arrested along with the brothers, who had spared her on condition that she help them lure more victims, the newspaper said. Chinese newspapers, unrestrained by the contempt of court laws of the West, often quote police confirming guilt or a confession before a defendant has been charged or the case has gone to court. The brothers, villagers from the central province of Henan, face the death sentence if indicted and convicted. The older brother claimed his first victim in 1999 when he stabbed a villager to death for raping the sister of a friend, the newspaper said. The brothers fled their hometown and went on to rob and murder 11 women in six provinces between June 2003 and last month, it said. They raked in 120,000 yuan. While official violent crime figures are not available, China is no stranger to mass killings. Last December, a migrant worker was sentenced to death for luring 17 teenage boys to his home in Henan province and murdering them because he wanted to feel the thrill of being an assassin. He kept his victims’ belts as souvenirs. A 20-year-old rubbish recycler was sentenced to death the same month for robbing and killing 10 competitors. Last year, China executed one of its worst serial killers in history, a man who murdered 67 people and raped two dozen women in a four-year spree.

No cash? Just pay me in “tricks”

Students offer sex in return for housing

Students looking for housing offers sex as payment for lodgings on a Norwegian website. Several landlords also advertise available housing where the payment is sexual favours, reported the Norwegian paper VG. The ads do not specifically state that sex is offered, but the wording leaves little doubt. “Alternative payment will be evaluated” and “can also give payment in form of the services you may want,” are examples of wording used. Daniel, 27, said to VG that he had various services in mind, for
example maintains of house and garden. One landlord in Akershus said to the paper that he published an ad on the website in order to see if anyone would respond. “I have heard such stories, and thought that maybe such things happened in real life too,” he stated. Jørn A Henriksen, leader of Norsk studentunion (Norwegian student union) said he is surprised by this practice. “I really hope that the housing situation is not that bad,” he said. “This is terrible. Tragic.”

Nude protestors with AIDS? Eeeewwwwwwwwwwwww!!

Naked Protestors Arrested Outside Madison Square Garden

A dozen AIDS activists were arrested outside Madison Square Garden Thursday afternoon after they stripped off their clothes and blocked traffic. The men and women, members of ACT UP (AIDS Coalition to Unleash Power) said they staged the demonstration in front of the site of next week’s Republican National Convention in order to protest the Bush administration’s policies on AIDS. “This protest is to tell the naked truth to President Bush and the Republican Party,” said ACT UP member Robert Dabney, who kept his clothes on to talk to reporters. “Our protestors are demanding number one that the president support full debt cancellation for the poorest nations in the world.” The protestors were standing naked in the street for almost 15 minutes before police put them in handcuffs. Traffic, already slowed by sporadic closures in the area for security preparations, stood at a standstill in the meantime. Organizers said they were glad there was no confrontation with police. “We were not violent. ACT UP has a history of non-violence. It’s in our mission statement,” said Mark Milano of the group. “We have no intention of being violent. I hope the police respond appropriately. Let us get our message across and not escalate the situation.” ACT UP says it is planning more protests during the convention. Meanwhile, two other people were arrested after hanging a large anti-Bush banner on the Plaza Hotel. The men apparently rented a room, climbed out the window and rappelled down the side of the building to hang the sign, which showed arrows with the words “truth” and “Bush” pointing in opposite directions. Crews have since take it down. There is no word yet on what the men will be charged with. The pair says they are not planning any other protests during the convention.

Are you “kidding” – get this guy some help, or a lethal injection

Jackson says settled past claims

SAN FRANCISCO (Reuters) – Facing criminal child molestation charges, pop star Michael Jackson has acknowledged that he has reached settlements in the past to avoid the media attention that would have ensued if he had gone to court. The statement issued on Friday came the same day “Dateline NBC” broadcast a report charging that Jackson paid $2 million (1.1 million pounds) to the son of an employee at his Neverland Ranch in California to avoid accusations of child molestation. The self-styled “King of Pop” questioned the timing and motive of the report in a statement posted on his Web site in which he said he would never harm a child. “Years ago, I settled with certain individuals because I was concerned about my family and the media scrutiny that would have ensued if I had fought the matter in court,” Jackson said. The statement come as Jackson is free on bail pending his trial scheduled for January on a 10-count indictment that charges him with molesting a boy. He has pleaded innocent. Dateline reported that Jackson paid $2 million in 1990 to the 12-year-old son of a Neverland Ranch employee to avoid a separate accusation of child molestation. During the program, a retired Santa Barbara County Sheriff said his office was investigating Jackson in 1993 and found out about another child molestation accusation. In his statement Jackson, who reportedly paid his 1993 accuser a $15 million to $20 million settlement, denied ever harming a child and called such complaints against him completely false. “It is unfortunate that yet, again, I must respond to untruths and sensationalism,” Jackson said.

Oh those wacky Stutgarters

How Would You Like to Meet This Guy?

BERLIN (Reuters) – A man caught having sex with a blow-up doll in a busy public shopping arcade had to be physically parted from his rubber lover and escorted away, said police in Stuttgart Wednesday. The 38-year-old man was caught with his trousers down early Monday evening after alarmed witnesses alerted the police. “It was real, he was caught in mid-action with the doll,” said a press spokeswoman. Police said that they had considerable difficulty separating the drunken man from his partner.

Keep it down in there!

Noisy Sex Session Awakens Entire Street

BERLIN (Reuters) – A pair of young lovers so annoyed their neighbors with a noisy sex session that police had to go and ask them to lower the volume, police said on Tuesday. Officers in the western city of Essen interrupted the couple shortly after midnight after neighbors, listening to the sounds through an open window, called to complain. “Gradually more and more neighbors gathered in front of the house to investigate the noise,” said a police spokesman. The embarrassed couple were asked to close the window and continue at a lower volume, he said.

Giant Zucchini growing in NJ. Governor takes note.

Giant Zucchini Nears 6 Feet

MOONACHIE, N.J. — They don’t call it the Garden State for nothing. A giant zucchini is growing in Moonachie. The summer squash dangling from a trellis in Salvatore Arnone’s back yard measures 5 feet, 5 inches long and growing. The world’s longest zucchini is 7 feet, 2 inches and was grown in Germany last year. Arnone says he used Miracle-Gro as fertilizer, watered the zucchini a lot and kept the ground moist. He says he won’t eat the zucchini. But he plans to save the seeds for planting next year.

Have you ever played ball … ON WEEEEEEEEEED?!?!?

Marijuana Filled Basketball Found By Prison Officials

McALESTER, Okla. (AP) _ Basketballs are usually puffed up with air, but somebody found a way of inflating one with a substance usually associated with puffing of another kind. Oklahoma State Penitentiary officials cut into an exercise-yard basketball and found nearly two pounds of what is believed to be marijuana stuffed inside. Acting on a tip from McAlester police, prison officials searched the yard and found the basketball, which held 30 one-ounce packets of the leafy substance. They seized the basketball from the Talawanda Heights unit, which houses 65 minimum security inmates for the prison and sits away from the main part of the facility. Department of Corrections spokeswoman Linda Morgan said two inmates are on lockdown in connection with the seizure. Morgan said officials don’t know how the basketball got on the prison grounds. Source: Associated Press

Underwear Robber Caught After “Brief” Struggle

Underwear Robber Caught After Brief Struggle

MD (WJZ) A bizarre burglary unfolded in Downtown Annapolis Wednesday evening. A man tried to make off with dozens of sexy underwear from Victoria’s Secret at the Westfield Shopping Town. Thirty-five year-old Ricardo Langford of Columbia, Howard County, stole 145 pairs of underwear — mostly pink panties — worth $1,100. Two store employees managed to stop him outside the store after a brief scuffle. Police later arrived and arrested Langford. He has been charged with felony theft and two counts of assault.
Langford was also charged with possession of drug paraphernalia after police found he was carrying a bottle cap and needle used to cook and inject heroin. WJZ’s Mike Hellgren will have more on this bizarre crime tonight on Eyewitness News beginning at 5 o’clock.

A Colossal waste of food – and a reason to call Reno 911

8,000-Foot Burrito Claims Record

RENO, Nev. — It’s a brute of a burrito. Take more than 8,200 flour tortillas, ladle on a ton of refried beans, then add truckloads of sour cream, cheese and salsa — and you’ve got the world’s biggest burrito. Officials of the Nevada State Fair are claiming a new Guinness burrito record. The burrito was more than 8,000 feet long. If recognized, the Reno burrito will surpass the current record of 7,700-plus feet, set in Mexico in 2001. But the Nevada burrito was just for looking, not munching. It took more than two hours to make and organizers feared the sour cream might have gone bad.

Fear Factor in Malaysia involving scorpions?!?!?

‘Scorpion Queen’ stung by public indifference

Kuantan – A Malaysian woman seeking to reclaim a world record by living with more than 6 000 scorpions in a glass cage for 36 days said on Wednesday she had been stung by the nation’s indifference. Nur Malena Hassan, nicknamed the “Scorpion Queen,” set the world record in 2001 by spending 30 days with 2 700 scorpions but Thailand’s Kanchana Ketkaew took the title in 2002 by living with more than 3000 scorpions for 32 days. The 27-year-old Malaysian told AFP by mobile phone from the scorpion box on the 12th day of her attempt that she wanted to win back the title to make the nation proud but was discouraged by the lack of moral support from her countrymen. “I am very tense. I have been bitten twice so far and I have to be careful. All my activities are constrained and there’s a lot of pressure. But people don’t understand how I feel. They think I am just sitting in here doing nothing,” Nur Malena said. “The day seems so long, and there are 24 more days to go. I am determined to support me and give me strength because I am doing this for our country.” With the scorpions crawling all over her body, Nur Malena said she reads books and watches television to pass the time in the four-metre-square glass room at a shopping mall in Kuantan in central Pahang state, about two hours from Kuala Lumpur. She gets to leave the room for only 15 minutes each day for a toilet break, but she said her toughest ordeal was at night when the scorpions became active. Nur Malena’s trainer, Ali Khan Shamsuddin, said she has built up enough immunity to take up to three scorpion bites in a day. The feisty woman cried in pain and suffered a mild fever after being stung on the neck and near the eye on the second and sixth day of her attempt but she had recovered without treatment, he said. – Sapa-AFP

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